A Muted Truth is a Lie
by Cookie Krisp
Summary: She was a thief. He was an assassin. She was poor. He was rich. She lived in a dump. He lived in a mansion. Opposites, right? Wrong. Because in the end, she was just a girl, he was just a boy, and underneath it all, they were only human. KilluaxOC. Based on 1999 anime only.
1. Black White Gray

**Prologue: **_**Black **_/ _White_ / Gray

In the beginning, she lived in a world of black and white. To her, the color of the sky was black, the color of the ground was white, and everything in between was gray.

Shades of gray. That was all she saw.

But then _he_ came along and changed everything.

She remembered that day flawlessly. It stuck out in her mind like a neon sign blinking obnoxiously in a perfectly black night. And it never blurred. It never lost the strength it first held on her mind. The details never faded. Her emotions from that day never lost power either. The memory just wouldn't leave her. But, even so, it was okay.

She wanted to remember.

She was just a little girl back then. So tiny, so weak—and so gullible, too, in a way. She was a child dumped into a cruel adult world, but somehow she managed to survive. She got by-barely. Just barely.

But that day she was struggling. She was weak-excruciatingly weak. Unable to find any source of food, she hadn't eaten in days. After a failed attempt at nabbing a few rolls of bread earlier that week, she'd hardly been able to move. The man had caught her, and _god _was he angry. If she was anywhere else, maybe the man would have been kind enough to forgive her. But she _wasn't_ anywhere else. She was in Meteor City. And in Meteor City, the rule was survival of the fittest, and if you couldn't live up to that then you were _dead_. No pity. No mercy. No sympathy allowed. Ever.

So he beat her until she could barely move.

And then he walked away without another glance towards her unmoving body. He did not stop for one second to regret that he had just beaten up a starving six-year old girl whose only crime was a wish for survival. But then again, no one had really expected him to care in the first place.

Not even the little girl.

That day, she was trudging along down in the dumps, scrounging through people's trash in hopes of finding something eat. All she needed was a scrap—just one,_ tiny_ little scrap! That was all she needed to fill her belly, to keep moving. Just one little crumb.

Was that too much to ask for?

She was about to give up. She yearned to collapse on the ground and wait for death to claim her—hell, starvation was already crawling all over her, so death surely wasn't too far behind—when suddenly, she saw someone.

He was sitting in front of her. He was older than her—much older, perhaps in his later teens, or maybe even early twenties, she guessed. He donned a long, black fur coat with an upside cross on its back. The man had shiny black hair and dark black eyes that were, in fact, so dark that black was all she could see in them.

She blinked and stumbled backwards in surprise. When had he gotten there? She certainly hadn't seen him there a few moments ago when she'd checked.

"Here," the man said. He held out his hand. "Take this."

She eyed the man with narrowed eyes. Was he going to trick her? What if he wanted to kill her? What if-what if-what if—

What if _what?_

She had nothing to lose. She had no family. No friends. No people who would miss her. And she was already dying to begin with.

There was nothing to fear.

Taking a step forward, she hesitantly approached the man. She walked forward a few tiny steps until she was standing right in front of him. Then, she lowered her gaze, looking down at his hand.

In it, lay a piece of bread.

_Food. _

She thought of nothing before her arm lashed out and snatched the roll from the man's hand. In a flash, she had the bread in her hands, and she was frantically stuffing it in her mouth. It was gone in a blink of an eye.

Once again, the girl found herself standing there with empty hands. She gave her fingers one final lick before turning her gaze back to the man.

"I have another," he said upon noticing her hopeful gaze. He reached into the inside of his coat and extracted another roll of bread. Holding it out in front of him, the man stared at her again with his coal black eyes and said, "Take it."

But this time, the girl didn't. The bread roll she'd hungrily devoured was now sinking its way to the pit of her stomach. No longer was she a ravaging beast controlled by hunger. She was hungry still, but she could function now. So, instead of snatching it as fast as she could, the girl stared at the bread for a long time, silent. And then she switched her gaze to the man, who was also silent.

Then she opened her mouth. "Why?" Curiosity killed the cat.

"Did you not want it?" the young man replied, seeming slightly surprised.

"…Why?" she asked again, her brow furrowing. Why would _he_ care if she was hungry? No one else did.

"I had extra," he explained, as if that made everything obvious.

It didn't. It just made the picture blur more.

"So?" she pried, frowning deeper. "Why didn't you just keep them and save them for later?" That was what she would have done if she had extra.

"I don't need them," he replied nonchalantly. His voice was flat and cold. Was the bread just extra baggage to him?

She stared at him like he had two heads. "You're stupid."

He shrugged. "I didn't want to carry it around."

"And weird," she added, crinkling her nose. "I still don't get why you'd give it to me. If you didn't want to carry it around, why not just eat it now?"

"A book I once read put it this way: 'No man is an island.'"

"What?" she asked dubiously. That didn't even answer her question, let alone make any sense. Was he insulting her intelligence?

His eyes were staring at the heaps of trash, but he saw none of it. "Like building a house – if you build a house without support beams, the house will topple over."

She didn't know why she was listening to him. Hell, she didn't even know why she was talking to him to begin with. But even so, something compelled her to continue. So, she did. "Oh," she said shortly. She paused for a second, a thought occurring to her. "Like a spider?"

The man's black eyes drifted lazily back to her. "A spider?" he questioned.

She nodded. "Spiders have eight legs and a head. The spider has a head to lead it, and eight legs to support and follow the head. The head can't move without the legs, but the legs can't move without the head, either. But if only a few of the legs are cut off, it can still continue surviving," she explained smartly. "So in a way, a spider's limbs are all connected, dependent on each other and yet independent at the same time."

"Intelligent theory," the man noted. He seemed mildly amused. "That's a very interesting view."

She shrugged and looked away. "Not really." Yes really.

There was a short silence where the two were lost in their thoughts. Finally, the man broke it. "…You believe solitude is safer than numbers," he said. It was not a question.

Funny. He seemed to be reading her thoughts.

"Uh, yes, I do," she said, as if it were obvious—which it was. Of course she did. How could she trust anyone when it was every man for himself? There was never enough food for you or anyone else, so how could you trust that anyone wouldn't backstab you and steal your food? She was alone. _Everyone _in this sad excuse of a dump was alone-even this man. How could he say that like she _couldn't _survive on her own, when he himself was sitting upon an abandoned car tire, all alone?

"That's why you're weak," the man said. "Make friends. Find a family. Find comrades. They will make you stronger."

The girl glared at him angrily. "So who're your comrades?" She certainly didn't see any around him at the moment.

"The people of Meteor City," he answered simply.

Her eyes widened. "_All_ of them?" She rolled her eyes and scoffed. "No way."

He nodded. "You'd be surprised. People unite at the oddest times."

"Really?" She shot him a doubtful look.

"Yes."

"So then you're my comrade?" she asked skeptically.

"I guess you could say that," the man said.

"Dude, I'm sorry to say this, but you are craaa-zy." She placed her hands on her hips and shook her head, disbelieving. "Totally loony."

He just smiled, as if he knew something she didn't. He didn't seem to care at all that a six year old was impudently insulting him.

They lapsed into another silence then, but this time, the girl was the one to break it, instead of the man.

"…I don't want your bread," she said suddenly.

The man's brow furrowed, for once showing an emotion other than nonchalance, but he didn't say anything.

So she continued, "I don't really understand you at all, and I totally think you're off your rocker, but…" she paused and lowered her gaze, kicking at the ground. "If you're my comrade, then I don't want you to starve," she muttered quietly. Then her head snapped back up and she stuck her nose high in the air, sniffing arrogantly. "Besides, dummy, can't you see I don't need your help? I can survive on my own, thank you very much!"

The man stared at her for a second, before he closed his eyes and let out a bark of laughter. "It's alright," he said once he had calmed himself. He smiled and reached out with his hand.

Her eyes widened. What was he doing? She cringed away, stumbling a few steps backwards. But the man's hand kept coming, and her legs wouldn't move, so she just squeezed her eyes shut, awaiting the pain.

It never came.

Instead, there was an unfamiliar sensation of a soft hand upon her head. Cautiously, she cracked a wary eye open. Her other eye flew open, and she blinked at the sight in front of her, surprised. The man wasn't glaring. He didn't have hand raised to hit her. In fact, he didn't look intimidating at all. The man was standing now, smiling down at her with his hand placed gently on her head.

"You don't have to understand," he stated.

She was still staring wide-eyed at the man when he removed his hand from her head and turned. His hands—which she could still feel the traces of lingering on her head—sunk into the pockets of his coat. Boots crunched against the trash littering the dump's mounds as he walked away, coat tail swishing behind him.

It was then that she noticed he had left something on her head. Blinking in surprise, she reached up tenderly with her hand and plucked the thing off her head. When she brought it down, her eyes widened. "What the…?"

_Bread?_

Her head snapped up and her angry gaze locked back on the man. "Hey, wait!" she shouted. Her pride was insulted. "Mister, I don't want your roll!"

The man paused. "I don't need it." He turned his head and smiled amusedly, which annoyed the girl. She didn't get what was so funny. "Keep it for yourself." He began to walk again, but the girl's voice calling back from behind him stopped him in his tracks yet again.

"Dumbass!" she shrieked. Her face flushed red in anger. Stomping her foot heavily. "I said I don't want your goddamn roll! Now take it back!" Without warning, the girl drew her arm back and thrust the roll of bread toward the man as hard as she could. She was about to grin, thinking it would hit the back of his head, when the man turned swiftly and caught it in the palm of his hand. "I don't need your pity," she continued haughtily. "I can get my own food!"

The man paused for a moment before putting the roll back in his pocket. A chuckle escaped his lips. "That's not what I saw," he said quietly. She could have sworn there was an amused smile playing on his lips, but he turned and started walking away again before she could take a second glance.

"Wait, you!" she hollered. Despite the harshness of her words, there was a hint of a grin on her face. "I never got your name!"

He paused. "…Chrollo," he finally said.

She blinked.

And then he was gone.

Staring down at the bread in her hand, she thought of the man's words. They were stupid; they made about as much sense as an oasis popping up in the middle of this dump.

_You believe solitude is safer than numbers, _he'd said.

_Of course it was. _

_The people of Meteor City are my comrades, _he'd claimed.

_They can't be. _

_Make friends. Find a family. Find comrades, _he'd told her.

…_Impossible. _

At that time, the girl didn't understand. To her, his words were the mere ramblings of a crazy man, but for some reason she had stood there and listened to them anyways. One day though, she would come to understand. However, that day would not come until much later, when she met the boy she came to call her younger brother and the old woman she came to call her granny.

After that day, she never saw Chrollo again—not for a long time. But that didn't matter to her. His words remained ingrained in her head as if a chainsaw had grinded them into a block of wood. Not for one second did she ever forget him, what he said, or what he did for her.

**Black,** _white,_ gray, **black,** _white,_ gray…Seeing the world that way had always made sense to her. It was clear cut and easy to put into categories. But now, there was something else. The black tinted a little bit red. The white had splotches of blue. The gray cracked with blue undercoats. She began to notice the changes all around her. Little speckles of orange on white skies. A glop of purple on gray ground. Yellow dots on black canvas.

Little things they were. But they were only the beginning. Just the first spark of what would soon become a whole pallet of fresh, bright, and beautiful colors.

That day.

She would never forget it.

It was the day she learned to see in color.

. . .

**READ THE OVERLY LONG A/N!** Because I said so!...And because it had some important stuff in it. Like warnings. And all that other useless stuff.

**A/N (Yes, the one I said you must read):** And that concludes the prologue! So…what do you think? Cheesy? Corny? Sappy? …Why are all those words edible? Why are they making me so hungry? Why am I asking so many dumb questions?

…Well, anyway, moving on. The quote in the middle, "No man is an island," is by John Donne. It means that human beings do not thrive when isolated from others.

I tried my best to make Chrollo in character here. My sister made the long, treacherous, two-step journey just to my room to come over and help me edit the chapter. We significantly reduced the OOC-ness of Chrollo, so it shouldn't burn your eyes completely out of their sockets. But… no guarantees. I am in no way responsible for loss of eyesight or severe trauma...

So, I was talking about my older sister, right? Yes, of course I am right. Why am I asking? Okay, so anyway, before I go so off topic I start talking about avocadoes (whoops, too late), many of you should know her, for she is….*cue drum roll*….

The great CURSED BUNNY!

…And she has several great stories out there that you should totally check out, because I am totally not advertising, and she totally did not ask me to do this for her, and…yeah. Go look at her stories. She has one Hunter x Hunter story called Invisible, so, if for some odd reason you haven't read that yet, I recommend it. It is as good as high quality Meiji milk chocolate. I AM NOT DONE YET. She ALSO has a very good story that is NEW and IMPROVED (because I read it and I am totally amazing) in the Fullmetal Alchemist fandom called Fallacy…or something like that. I mean, I think that's it, but if it's not then… I'll feel really stupid. But at least I won't be depressed for long, because my sister will come and hammer me over the head. Then I'll have brain trauma and will therefore forget why I was depressed to begin with.

Here's the important part: This story will be long. My OC may annoy you. I admit to having mary-sue tendencies. I also admit to having a hopeless case of OOC. It is rated T for (mostly) my OC's potty mouth. This is Killua x OC. Romance is slow, because I am incredibly mature and do not gag at the sight of juicy kissy scenes in the second chapter (by the way, that last part was sarcasm). My grammar could use some serious brushing up, but I'm counting on my lovely readers to hand me the brush, so I can fix it. So yeah, **YOU BETTER REVIEW. **

To the readers of my previous fanfics- One word: Sorry.

The belated disclaimer which I totally did not almost forget to put in: Hunter x Hunter and all the characters and plot belong to Yoshihiro Togashi. I only own my OC. Steal her, and I will come running at you with a laptop poised above my head to bash you. On the other hand, I wish I owned Killua. Togashi doesn't need him as much as I do. Really.

So….review? I want constructive criticism and real opinions.

Please?

-Cookie Krisp


	2. Don't Ignore the Guy on the Phone

**A/N: **Greetings, fellow fanfiction-ers. Yes, it is a chapter! I actually got off…._on_ my butt to get this chapter up. Re-reading my own work gets really boring after a while. That's why my sister is taking over.

A great big thanks to all of you who reviewed last chapter. You are my inspiration. If it weren't for you, this chapter probably would not be here. It would be sitting somewhere on my computer collecting dust. Please keep reviewing. Otherwise I feel like a hermit talking to a wall. Believe me, it is very discouraging when you are talking to something and it does not respond. Please review and help preserve whatever is left of my already-depleted sanity.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Hunter x Hunter. Yoshihiro Togashi (the lazy ass) does. I only own my OC's. And no, I don't own Akulla. Togashi does. If you are intelligent and actually have the time to waste reading this, then you have just received a major clue to the direction of this story. If you didn't read it, then too bad. You lose.

. . .

**Chapter 1:**

It was a well known fact that Fern was a young girl. It was also a well known fact that Fern had a very cute smile.

It was _not _a well known fact that Fern was very, very much a manipulating, deceiving, little bitch-in-the-making.

Fern smirked deviously as she stalked towards her prey: a fat, overweight man with a stupid-looking face. Effortlessly sliding between people and children and pets, she swerved in and out of the crowd as if she was a ghost. Her feet made no sound against the pavement, though that was partly accredited to the fact that her naked, dirt-smudged feet bore no heavily clumping boots. Her heart did not pound and thrust in her chest as one might have expected—no, it was deadly calm. This was a practiced deed for her. It was easy.

She came to a stop behind the man.

"Hello?" she asked sweetly. A smile graced her face.

The rotund man pivoted around to face her. Upon the sight of the young girl in front of him, he was immediately overtaken by surprise. "M-me?" he stuttered, pointing to himself with wide eyes.

She bobbed her head. "Yeah, mister, you." She tilted her head to the side and giggled, "Who else would I be talking to?" _Dumbass, _she sneered inwardly. _Your dumb-looking face does your brain justice. _

He laughed nervously. "Oh, well, I don't know, I was just, well, surprised, I guess…"

Again, she nodded, this time a bit thoughtfully. Suddenly, her eyebrows rose and she jumped, as if just realizing something. "Oh!" she cried.

"Huh?" the man exclaimed, alarmed. His balding head whipped from side to side, scouring the crowd for anything that might have caused the young girl to cry out so. "Is something wrong? Did something happen?" he rushed out in a panic.

She smiled and rubbed the back of her head sheepishly. "Oh no…sorry. That's not it. It's just that I realized I have to go do something…so… yeah," she finished a bit awkwardly. A small blush colored her cheeks.

"Oh…" the man replied. He seemed a bit puzzled. "I..uh..I see." He obviously didn't.

If he did, he would be dragging the girl to the police.

"Uh…Okaaaay," she drawled, raising her eyebrows in the way that children are known to do when they think something is weird. "Well anyways, bye!" She smiled brilliantly one last time before dashing off.

The man watched her back until she was gone. Once she was out of sight, he sighed and turned back to trudge leisurely down the streets. He thought the girl was strange, but he pitied her. A raggedy, thin dress hung of her coat-hanger frame like a blanket over a pile of bones. Her skin was so pale he could see the bones beneath it. Knobby knees poked out from beneath her dress and extended down to wiggly, dirt-covered toes. A worn blue vest with black, fraying fuzz around the collar and sleeveless arms was the only thing of decent value she seemed to own. But even then, it looked so dirtied and old he suspected she'd rat-picked it out of someone's garbage.

He sighed. She had to be one of those homeless children wandering out without shelter. He hoped she had parents. A girl that young surely couldn't survive by herself. Shaking his head, the man cleared his thoughts of today's odd encounter and continued on home, determined to forget about everything.

. . .

It wasn't until the man arrived at his home and began to search through his coat pockets that he realized something was amiss. Or more specifically, his _wallet _was amiss.

And, even stranger, that night it seemed many others were doomed to the same misfortune as him. For, every single person in the crowd that the blonde little girl had swerved ever-so gracefully through…

…had had their wallet stolen as well.

. . .

Fern smirked smugly as she stepped into the luxuriously furnished hotel room. She closed the door softly behind her and lifted up the hem of her dress.

At least fifty wallets went tumbling out onto the floor.

Fern sighed happily as she stepped out of the hotel room's shower. The tips of her ash blonde hair dripped tiny droplets of water onto the floor. A fluffy, white towel was wrapped around her shoulders to keep her hair from soaking her clothes. Naturally, her hair just soaked the floor instead, but you'd have to be a fool to think Fern cared about that in the least.

"Ah…" She smiled and closed her eyes, flopping down on the plush, clean bed in the center of the room. "This feels soooo good…" she murmured to herself. Rolling over, she curled up on her side and snuggled into the warm blankets. Fern inhaled the scent of clean laundry detergent and lavender soap, letting the faint aromas drift into her nose and seep into her clothes. She buried her damp head in the pillow, her arms wrapping around it and squeezing it tightly against her face.

"I'm in heaven," she mumbled into the pillow.

Fern lay for a few more moments, just savoring the wonderful sensation of having a real—REAL!—bed beneath her, with blankets, pillows, and clean sheets, and all. It was so much more comfortable than what she was used to—a thin, and smelly blanket, an old potato sack stuffed with random bits of garbage for a pillow, and nothing but trash and dirt underneath her. Not that Fern was complaining…

…Okay, so she was. But seriously, who wouldn't? Living in a dump wasn't exactly the most wonderful thing in the world, you know. Though not having to deal with annoying government officials who (according to Fern) only wanted to steal your hard-earned money under the sugar-coated cover of "taxes", was _definitely _a major plus. Fern hated people who took, threatened, or wasted her—yes, HER—money.

Oh, how Fern loved her money.

(And yes, the money she called hers was indeed the same money from those wallets she had stolen. Her personal motto was "Finders keepers, losers weepers", but she wasn't quite sure that was applicable, seeing as no one had actually lost the wallet until she came and took it. So, she had a back-up motto in case anyone questioned it. This motto was "Stealing is only borrowing something and not returning it. …Now may I borrow your wallet?" and she was quite fond of it herself.)

Suddenly remembering the pile of wallets on her floor, Fern immediately abandoned the pillow. She jolted up and hopped off her bed. With a plop, she sat herself down on the floor in a cross-legged position and began to sort through her newest collection.

With careful, precise movements and an expert eye for hidden pockets, Fern expertly opened each wallet, poured its contents onto the floor, and fished around in its other compartments for any valuables that interested her. Having done this many times before, it only took her a few minutes to go through half of the mound. It was around then that the contents of one wallet caught her eye.

"…Hunter Exam Application Card?" Fern raised an eyebrow, flipping the thin, tiny card around in her hands. "What's this?"

Normally, she would have just trashed the card and got on with her life, but the card seemed to spark a memory in her, some sort of recognition, and that caught her interest. Fern wracked her brain for where she had heard of something called the "Hunter Exam" before, but she came up blank. This frustrated her greatly, for Fern took pride in her good memory.

_Hunter Exam, Hunter Exam, Hunter Exam, Hunter Exam…._

"Argh!" she cried out exasperatedly, throwing her arms up in the air. "Why the HELL can't I remember!"

After grumbling in complaint under her breath, Fern calmed herself, sighed, sat back down, and began to examine the card again.

Fern stared, and stared, and stared at the stupid, aggravating card for a long,_ long_ time. Still, nothing came to mind as to where she had heard of the Hunter Exam. Her patience had long since been growing thin. It was not a surprise when she finally snapped.

"God dammit, you stupid card!" Fern screamed, throwing the card at the wall in a burst of anger.

She huffed and glared furiously at the card for a few more moments. When she realized that wasn't getting her anywhere, she whipped around and stalked towards her bed. Growling and mumbling curses under her breath, Fern fished around in the pocket of her favorite (and only) blue vest. After a second of searching, she yanked out an old, banged-up cell phone that looked as though it had seen better days.

Still fuming, Fern stomped her way over to the card, swiped it up, and plopped back down on the edge of the bed. Balancing the phone between her shoulder and her ear, she listened to the phone ring. Meanwhile, Fern entertained herself by impatiently twisting the card back and forth in her hands. She stubbornly ignored the fact that the card now looked like it had been trampled by a herd of bulls, squashed by a monster truck, and flushed down a toilet. Why did it look so terrible? Well, smashing a card against the wall and soaking it with freshly washed hair tends to do the trick.

_Pick up, pick up, PICK UP ALREADY! _Fern screamed in a head. An impatient scowl contorted her features.

The ringing stopped. Fern immediately stopped kicking the bed and perked up.

"Fern?" a young, boyish voice asked.

"Akulla!" she cried happily, a smile making its way onto her face at the sound of her best friend's voice.

"Well, someone sounds like she's having a good day." He seemed mildly amused. "Did you make good money today, or does hearing my voice really make you that happy?"

"Shut up!" she growled, a pink flush making its way onto her cheeks. "Stop flattering yourself."

A laugh resounded from the other end of the phone. "Don't deny it."

Fern pouted, opening her mouth to say something in her defense, but he beat her to it.

"Well, anyways, what'd you call for?"

Remembering the card, her gaze flickered down to the item in her hands. "Oh, right," she mumbled. "I was actually going to ask you about something."

"Oh? Something Fern doesn't know? Well, that's new." She assumed he was smirking. "Must have something to do with money, or else you'd never ask me."

"Actually," Fern said, "it doesn't."

"…Really?"

Fern felt a twinge of irritation at her friend's honest surprise. Seriously, she wasn't _that _obsessed with money.

….Okay, so that was a lie, but still. It wasn't like she wasn't interested in other things too.

"Yes," she growled. "Really."

There was a sigh from the other end of the phone. "…Well? Ask me about it. I'll see what I can find out."

Fern sighed too, and shook her head. "It's really not that important, but I was searching through this dude's wallet, and I found this card thingy-ma-jig. It was an application for something called the Hunter Exam. For some reason, that name rings a bell in my head, but I can't seem to remember why. It's soooo annoying!" She moaned and rolled over onto her back. "You don't know how frustrating it is to—

"—Yeah, yeah, okay," Akulla cut her off. "Now, the Hunter Exam, you said?"

Fern nodded, but then realized he couldn't see her and said, "Yeah."

"You know, I'm surprised you don't remember more about that, seeing as I know for a fact that I told you about it multiple times."

She was silent. Really? He had? She frowned in confusion. …When?

At her silence, Akulla sighed. "Figures you wouldn't be listening." He ignored her loud huff at his comment. "I guess I'll just tell you again. The Hunter Exam is an exam that takes place on a yearly basis. A Hunter is basically a highly respected individual who specializes in seeking treasures, finding rare creatures, fighting criminals, and various other things. There are different types of Hunters for different purposes, but either way they all must have certain qualities. These qualities will be put to the test in the Hunter Exam, which decides whether or not an individual is qualified to become a Hunter. It is rumored that the Hunter Exam is extremely hard to pass, but if you do, the reward is quite generous. The license card given out to all Hunters can support a family for seven generations if sold. It also offers unlimited access to information, websites, sources, and services that are only given to Hunters."

The phone fell dead silent. Fern took the moment to absorb the information, and when she did, she found herself smirking.

"You know," she remarked with a devious grin, "that kind of sounds like fun."

Akulla kept quiet for a moment, but then sighed. "I should've known you'd want the money."

"Well, yeah!" she cried, rolling back and forth on the bed in excitement. "I mean, think about all that money!" She could practically feel herself drooling. "Enough to support seven generations of your family? Holy crap is that a _ton_ of money! Just imagine what I could do with all that! I could actually buy myself a bed, and still have extra!"

"Fern," he said, amused. "You could buy yourself, Bea _and_ me all a bed, a mansion, and order a whole banquet of the world's most expensive food for us and still have enough to last the rest of your life and further."

"I am _so_ getting that Hunter license thing."

"No."

Fern frowned. "Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"What?" she asked shrilly. "Why?"

She could practically feel him frowning over the phone. "It's dangerous."

Fern rolled her eyes. "And sneaking onto blimps to cross the ocean every month is not?" She rolled onto her back and frowned up at the ceiling. "Come on, let's face it. I go into deadly situations on a daily basis and I come back alive every time. So please," she begged, "can I go?" Her voice was on the verge of whining.

"…No."

Fern blinked and shot up suddenly. "Wait a second…."A mischievous smile curled the corners of her lips up. "Is little, baby Akulla worried about his big, older sister?" she cooed, as if talking to a baby. She squealed. "Aww…Akulla, that is so sweet!"

"I-I am not!"Akulla protested. "And you're not my sister!" he rushed out as an afterthought.

"The stutter in your voice says otherwise!" Fern sang triumphantly. She grinned. "I think you're worried. And embarrassed." She giggled. "That's cute."

She could've sworn she heard him muttering "completely un-cute" under his breath. Fern suppressed a grin. Akulla was such a kill-joy, and that was precisely why he was so fun to tease. He was always trying to be the tough, cool, smart guy and stuff. Fern could always get a kick out of seeing him worked up. And he got flustered so easily too!

There was a silence over the phone. And then…

"…You're still not going."

Fern pouted. "Akulla!" she cried. "Pleeeeeeease," she drawled. "I swear to god I'll come back alive."

"_M_hm."

"…Why do I feel like you doubt me? Besides, I still have those magical mittens you gave me, right?"

"They're not magic, they're nen," Akulla said exasperatedly. Then he seemed to frown deeper. "And you know how to use them too—you haven't forgotten?"

She rolled her eyes. Stupid Akulla, how could she possibly forget? "No, you idiot. I'll still remember how to use them when I'm 81, because of how hard you drilled that stuff into me."

"…You are not going."

Fern said nothing. She just furrowed her brow up at the ceiling. Akulla didn't say anything either, presumably waiting for her answer.

It was silent.

"….Well, anyways, I guess I'll just hang up now…" she mumbled, having ran out of things to say. She glanced impatiently down at the pile of unopened wallets on the floor. Plus, Fern still had to search through all of those, and then properly dispose of all the evidence…

Her finger was hovering above the "off" button on the phone when Akulla protested.

"Hold on."

She frowned. "What?"

"I get the feeling you aren't going to listen to a thing I say. So…" He sighed. "Just...whatever you do be careful okay?"

"Okay, okay!" she huffed, rolling her eyes. "You're not my dad, and besides, who are you to tell me what to do? You're younger than me, RE-MEM-BER?"

"Yes," he groaned exasperatedly. "Yes, I remember, Fern."

She got the feeling he was rubbing his temples like he always did when he was talking to her. "Okay, then, bye!"

Fern pressed the off button before he got another chance to stop her.

Sighing, she dropped the phone on her bed and knelt back down on the floor. Fern began sorting through the rest of the wallets. She was immediately struck with euphoria when she eyed all the money she was dumping out of the wallets. Her new mini fortune lay out in front of her, and she gazed at it with pride.

In that moment of glee, the Hunter Exam completely flew out of her mind. It stayed out, too, and didn't come back until a certain someone _brought_ it back.

. . .

After counting, recounting, and counting it all over again, Fern found that she had exactly 121,015 zeni. She was thoroughly pleased. That amount was over what she had expected, and would most likely be enough to buy all the supplies on the list Akulla had given her.

She would have to buy everything tomorrow, and leave the next day. The monthly grocery runs and stealing she did were necessary, but they needed to be done quickly. Fern didn't want anyone to suspect her (not that she'd given anyone any reason to), nor did she want the hotel she was staying in to get suspicious of why some twelve year old kid was residing in a room without any parents or guardian. Besides, she had to get back soon, or else Akulla and Bea would run out of supplies. She didn't doubt that Akulla would be able to support Bea and himself just fine if, for some reason, she died, or was injured, or caught and couldn't manage to get them the supplies, but that made Fern seem incompetent, weak, and stupid, and she really didn't like that idea.

So, Fern decided she would wrap everything up tomorrow, and then leave.

Needless to say, in the midst of all the other duties and responsibilities Fern had to focus on for pure survival, the Hunter Exam, which was merely a whim on Fern's part, had been long forgotten.

. . .

"Fern," Akulla said the next day as he talked through the phone to her.

"What?" she snapped, irritated. Her gaze trailed up and down the food-packed shelves, scanning. _Dried fruits, dried fruits, dried fruits, dried fruits…_"I don't have time for this!"

"Don't be so impatient."

"I'm _not." _She rolled her eyes distractedly, still searching the aisles. "Now, get to the point. I have things to do, you know." Fern turned on her heel and stalked down a different aisle. _Dried fruits…_She growled, ignoring the strange looks she got from the customers around her. _God dammit! Where are they?_

"Fine, fine." A sigh came through the other end of the phone. "I just wanted to tell you—

"Oh!" she cried, her face lighting up. Fern reached out and plucked the package of dried fruit off the self, smiling to herself now that she had finally found what she was looking for. "…Um…now…what were you saying?" she asked, now focused on the phone.

Akulla sighed again. "…Oh…Nothing…"

She frowned. "Really?" It didn't_ sound_ like nothing.

There was a brief pause, and then Akulla answered, "Well…" he seemed to consider something. "…Just one thing. I need you to add something onto your grocery list. It might sound a bit weird, but that's Bea's medicine ingredients to you. "

She groaned. "Another ingredient? Do you know how _long_ it takes just to find some of those things? Like, remember last time she needed fried bat wings? It took me forever! And—"

"I know a place where you can get it, so it'll be easier."

Her eyebrows rose in surprise. "Oh?"

"Yeah. Just go to the restaurant called Greasy Spoon, and order a steak combo cooked carefully under a weak flame."

Fern frowned. "That's a little…odd."

"Aren't Bea's ingredients always odd?"

"Yeah, but…"

"Just do it. Once you get there, you'll figure it out." There was something suggestive about the tone of his voice that set Fern's alarms off.

"Figure what out?" What was he talking about?

"Nothing." He snickered, and she frowned.

"What's so funny?" Fern asked.

"Nothing," Akulla repeated. It was clearly a lie.

"_Sure_," she drawled sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "Because it's _totally_ normal for people to laugh at absolutely_ nothing_."

She could practically feel him smirking from the other end of the phone. "It is," he said confidently. "But anyways, I'm hanging up now."

"Good," Fern snapped.

He laughed. "Hey, I'm doing you a favor. Don't be so crabby."

"Favor?" She was getting thoroughly confused. "What are talking about?"

"You'll find out," Akulla answered. He sighed. "Well, Little Miss Sunshine, it was nice talking to you."

She huffed. "God, just hang up alre—

"Have fun ordering that steak," he cut her off abruptly. Then he paused. "And be careful," Akulla added. There was something grave about his tone that made Fern stop in her tracks. "You said you were going to be fine, and that's the only reason I'm doing this. I knew you were going to go on your own one day, so I thought I'd help you. But," his voice lowered, "if you don't come back, I'll kill you."

And then he hung up.

Fern held the phone out in front of her and narrowed her eyes at it. "What the hell is talking about?" she muttered to herself. "What is Bea putting Akulla on? Drugs? Crack? …Fried bat wings?"

Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, she stuffed the phone in the pocket of her vest. Fern grabbed a can of canned chicken from the shelf, and continued down the aisle, sighing and grumbling under her breath about "annoying brats" and "god damn stupid grocery stores". Passerby's continued to look at her strangely.

Fern ignored them.

. . .

"So…I'm guessing…_this_ is the place I'm supposed to get Bea's steak at?"

Fern raised an eyebrow as she stared up at the tiny building before her. The paint on the restaurant was faded and pale, parts of it cracked and in need of some serious maintenance. There were a couple of small potted plants on the window sill, and while they normally would have brightened the atmosphere of the dirty old restaurant considerably had they been blooming, they were, unfortunately, _wilting_, and only served to add to the grungy appearance. Fern glanced from the neighboring buildings to the old restaurant, which seemed to literally be squashed and overshadowed by the gigantic, tall, and pish-posh looking buildings next to it.

But, nonetheless, the sign said the restaurant was called "Greasy Spoon". That was where Akulla had told her to go, so Fern shrugged, ambled up the cracked sidewalk, and swung open the door.

The moment she entered the restaurant, she was hit by a barrage of overpowering scents and smells. Fern inhaled deeply and resisted the urge to let out a moan at the mouth-watering aromas drifting from the kitchen in the back. God, that food smelled freaking _good, _damn it!

The door shut quietly behind her. The noise snapped Fern out of her food-induced daydreams and back to the task at hand. She shook her head to clear her thoughts and quickly walked up to the bar, where a brown haired woman and a male chef were standing.

"Welcome!" the brown-haired woman at the bar greeted cheerfully.

Fern smiled sweetly and stood on her tiptoes to rest her arms on the countertop. "Hi," she said cutely. She tilted her head to side, asking, "May I order something?"

"Of course," the woman said, bending forward and smiling gently at Fern. "What would you like to eat?"

"May I have a Steak Combo?"

The woman's eyebrows raised, and she shared a surprised look with the old man chef behind the counter, who just smirked back at her.

"How would you like it cooked?" the old man said, turning towards Fern.

Fern narrowed her eyes at the secretive smirk and the suspicious glint in his eyes. Was he…planning something? Was something going on that she didn't know? She felt suspicion build up in her chest, but she quickly smiled on the outside and answered, "Cooked carefully under a low flame, please."

The old man's smirk grew larger. "Alright, go to the back."

"This way," the brown-haired woman said, smiling and gesturing towards two pairs of strong metal, sliding doors.

Internally, Fern felt herself frown, but she didn't let her worries show. Instead, she merely smiled and followed the woman with a slight skip in her step, pretending to be the innocent, unaware child that she wasn't.

The metal sliding doors slowly slid open, and Fern carefully stepped inside. Once again, she was overwhelmed by the powerful aroma of freshly-cooked food blasting her in the face. In the center of the room was a large table filled with a large steak, some bread, and a variety of other foods. Her mouth began to water at the sight of all that food, but she resisted the urge to jump on the table and stuff everything in her mouth. Instead, Fern began to cautiously survey her surroundings. She wasn't stupid—she knew the stupid old trick of tempting a person with food. They would gobble it down like a bunch of pigs, and unknowingly have walked straight into a trap.

Fern definitely wasn't going to be that idiot person who fell for that, no matter how hungry she was.

The doors slid shut quietly behind her. She stared at the closed doors for a moment, a twitch of nervousness twisting in her stomach. She didn't like the feeling of being locked in. It made her anxious.

Prying her eyes away from the door, Fern glanced around the room warily, taking in every corner and crevice and watching for traps and the like. It was a plain, cube-shaped room with tall green walls and an uncarpeted, dirty floor. There were a few small cracks in the paint of the wall, but nothing that seemed to damage the foundation. She bent down and swiped the floor with her index finger, narrowing her eyes when she saw that her finger now had dirt on it. If the floor was covered in a thin layer of dirt, that probably meant that other people had recently been in there, wearing dirt-filled shoes that grimed up the floor.

After surveying, she concluded that it was some sort of large elevator room. How did she know that? Well, while Fern was busy with her careful analysis, the room was steadily moving downward, so slowly that it was barely noticeable. But to Fern, it was quite obvious, and a bit nerve wracking as well. Eating in a secluded elevator with no one around her?

What the hell was going on here?

Fern frowned, but began to approach the table in the center. She felt around the floor before she stepped on it, feeling extremely uncomfortable and wary of her surroundings. She didn't know what was going on, and that scared her.

When the Fern finally reached the table, she eyed the food with a trained eye. Before doing anything with the food at all, she had to carefully inspect it for poison. To her immense relief, she found the food to be absolutely clean and scot-free. She opened the sack lying snugly on her hip and began to take the meat, rub salt into it for preservation purposes, wrap the food in plastic bags, and stuff it into her pack.

Bea needed her to bring it back, so, Fern would bring it back.

Still, Fern's growling stomach got the best of her and, as she was packing, she made sure to leave one small piece of steak and half a bread roll out for her to eat. She didn't know where the heck the elevator was taking her, but she wanted to be prepared in case she had to survive, run, or fight.

And she wasn't about to do any of those things on an empty stomach.

Fern sat down on one of the chairs and began to eat the food. Each bite was taken slowly and chewed carefully, the taste savored to the last crumb before she swallowed. She took an excruciatingly long time to finish up the bread roll, and an even longer time to chew up the piece of steak, but gradually they disappeared. When they were completely gone, Fern let out a long sigh of contention and leant back against the seat. She patted her full stomach.

"I haven't eaten that much in _ages_," Fern said to herself. It had only been half a bread roll and two-inch piece of steak. To most, that wouldn't have been nearly enough to fill their stomachs, but to Fern, who lived in a dump, stole for a living, and had to support not only herself, but two other people while she was at it, holy heck that was _a lot_ of food. It was much more than she used to, anyway.

Fern frowned. Maybe she shouldn't have eaten that much. Rationing was not only a habit for her, but something that was necessary for her survival. Sure, she had a whole pack of food in her sack, but Bea needed that stuff. If there was going to be anything left for Bea, Fern couldn't just eat it all in one serving. Besides, she needed every singly speck of food she had to last as long as it could, because she wouldn't be able to go on another raid until next month.

Ehh…well, what was done was done, and it wasn't like Fern was going to puke that steak back up. She sighed. And besides, what if she needed the energy for what was coming up? She could usually operate fine on a half-full-to empty stomach, but it was always best to be full, even if she didn't usually have the luxury of eating that much.

_Ding!_

Fern jumped, startled. She jolted from her seat, knocking the chair onto its back, and immediately settled into a fighting stance. She quickly realized, however, that the sound was merely of the elevator stopping and arriving at its destination. Relaxing, Fern swallowed and began to walk towards the doors.

Slowly, the doors were beginning to open. They creaked and screeched as they dragged along the floor, and Fern resisted the urge to flinch as the high-pitched squealing pierced her sensitive ears. Still, she kept her attention focused on the space that the doors were gradually beginning to reveal.

When the doors were completely open, Fern felt eyes on her. Glares. Surprised looks. Whispering. Stares. Curious glances.

_Too much attention_.

Fern carefully stepped out into the room and looked around. It was a dark, damp room that appeared to be underground. Pipes ran along the side, coiling and twisting and running off into the distance where even her cat-like, sharp eyes could not see. On second thought, it seemed the room was actually a tunnel, since it extended so far into the darkness. This unsettled her, but what unsettled her most were the_ people_ in the room.

There were a lot of them—about a hundred if Fern's assumption were correct. Most of them were tall, burly looking men who looked like they could pack quite the punch. She spotted a couple of unique ones in the crowd, but most of them fell into the category of macho-men who could crush Fern's tiny body in a second. And they were all staring—no, _glaring _at her.

"Um, Miss?"

Fern instantly took a step back away from the voice, and bent her knees in a crouch, ready to run. Her gaze snapped around the room until it landed on the owner of the voice. Standing to the side of her was a short, round man with a bald, egg-shaped head and wide, round, and friendly eyes.

She narrowed her eyes at him, but released her body from its crouch. "What?" she snapped coldly, not quite in the mood for acting.

"You need to take this number pin," the egg-head man said, holding out a circle-shaped pin with the number '109' printed on it in big black digits.

Fern glared at the man, but snatched the pin from his hand. She strutted away into the crowd.

After a failed attempt at blending in with the crowd (it really doesn't work so well when you're a kid, and everyone else is an adult), she eventually gave up and wandered over to an empty corner. Fern rested her back against the muddy wall and slid down onto her behind.

She didn't know where she was, or what was going on. She didn't know what was going to happen, and she most certainly did not have a plan up her sleeve.

Fern bit her lip. She was completely out of her element.

Why the hell did Akulla send her—

Wait…Akulla!

Her eyes sparked as she stuffed her hand in her vest pocket and pulled out her phone. She could call Akulla, and he would know what to do! After all, he was the one who sent her there, so he must have known _something_ about what was going on.

Fern frowned. Actually, now that she thought about it, Akulla had probably _planned_ this to happen to her.

After she dialed the number, she waited impatiently for him to pick up. She stared at the wet ground and nudged it with her dirty old sneaker. Listening to the phone ring in her ear, Fern absent-mindedly frowned at her shoe and kicked it around on the ground a bit more. She hated—no, _despised_ wearing shoes. She loved the feel of her bare feet on the ground, and besides, bare feet made less noise when she was sneaking around. But Fern had to wear shoes when she was in the city, because if she didn't, there were many stores that wouldn't let her in.

Fern drew her gaze away from her shoes and perked up when the ringing came to a stop. "Akulla?"

"Hey," came the fuzzy reply from the speaker. "You're not dead yet, are you?" He seemed concerned.

Fern frowned. "You knew this was going to happen, didn't you?" she asked, suspicion tainting her tone.

"Maybe."

"Akulla," she growled, her gaze trained on the crowd of people in front of her. She was careful not to let her guard down around them, or to look away. "What the hell did you push me into doing?"

"Nothing," he said. "Well, at least nothing you weren't planning on doing anyways." He sounded slightly miffed when he said that.

"Tell me," Fern snarled into the phone. She watched with cautious eyes as a fat man with a box nose began chattering with a boy around her age with silver hair. Her eyes lit up slightly.

Ah, so she wasn't the only kid.

She listened absent-mindedly as Akulla sighed. Her attention was now caught by the boy her age. "Fine," he conceded. "…You're taking the Hunter Exam."

Fern watched as the box-nosed man handed the boy a drink. "Yeah, sure, the Hunter Exam….." she trailed off distractedly. Intrigued, she leaned forward ,watching as the boy began to gulp down the drinks, one can after another.

"….Fern?"

"Yes?" she asked, her gaze still on the boy. One can….Two cans…Three cans….Holy shit could that boy drink a lot!

"Are you listening?"

"….Yeah."

Akulla sighed. "Then what did I say?"

"Oh, you said I was taking the Hunter Exam-Wait, _what_?" Fern's attention snapped away from the boy. She grabbed the phone with both her hands and pressed it to her ear. Her eyes widened and her jaw slackened as she yelled in a whisper, "I'm taking the _Hunter Exam_?"

"Yep."

"W-what?" she stuttered, shocked. "But _why_?"

"You wanted the money, didn't you?" he asked, irritated. "And if I'd known you'd forgotten about the exam, I never would have told you, just so you know."

Fern blinked. "..Oh. Wait, I didn't forget!" Lie. "…But you could have at least warned me!"

"I _was _going to, but you weren't listening so I didn't." He sounded irritated. Hm…maybe ignoring him had hurt his pride a lot more than she thought. After all, he had been the one trying to convince her not to go, so he must have been really annoyed with her to do something like this. But still, that did _not_ give him a right to set her up like this.

Fern groaned. "Akulla!" she whined into the phone, "I would've listened if you _told _me to!"

"Nice try, Fern," he muttered. "We both know you wouldn't have listened even if I said pigs were flying and Satan was taking over the world."

"…Shut up," Fern finally said. Then, she sighed in resignation. "Well, since I'm already here, I might as well go through with it."

"You can leave," Akulla suggested hastily. "And come back. No one will stop you." She hid a smirk when he said this. _Ah-ha!_ she thought smugly. I knew that was coming. Fern grinned. I bet he's totally regretting this. But no, silly Akulla, you can't take back your words.

"Uh, _no_." Fern rolled her eyes. "I don't think so."

There was a silence. And then…

"Just…"

Fern rose an eyebrow. "Just?"

"Just…don't die."

Fern snorted. "Of course I won't, idiot." She paused for a second, and then added, "And stop saying that. You sound like a broken record."

Akulla sighed at her answer. "Did anyone ever tell you how much of a pain you can be?"

"No."

"Well, you're a big pain in the neck. Anyway, Bea's calling me, so I gotta go."

"Hey—wait a second—

"You better survive this," Akulla said.

And then the phone went dead.

"Hmph," Fern huffed, staring at the phone in her hands. "'_Don't die' _he says." She rolled her eyes. "Like hell I'm going to die."

She sat in silence for a couple more moments before standing, dusting off the bottom of her dress and chucking the phone back into her pocket. As Fern looked up at the steadily growing crowd before her, she felt a devilish smirk begin to curl the corners of her lips up.

"This," she paused and giggled into her hand, her eyes glinting with mischief, "is going to be _fun_."

. . .

End of Chapter 1

Okay, so I have designed a mastermind plan to get you lazy people to review. Since the most common excuse is that you have nothing to say, I will give you something to say, so that you must review.

If for some reason you can't find anything interesting to tell me on your own, then here is a question to help you: **What do you think of Fern's and Akulla's phone conversations? What have you gathered about their relationship? Which character that appeared in this chapter is your favorite so far? **_You don't have to answer, but if you want to, answer in your review. _

There, I gave you something to say, so you better review. No excuses. I prefer long reviews, but if you don't have time, then I will be happy with a mere 'Yo! Good story', or even a 'U SUCK. BURN IN HELL"

Thank you for reading!

-Cookie Krisp


	3. First Impressions are Often Misleading

**A/N: **Yo peeps, waz up? …Okay, sorry, I just always wanted to say that, so….yeah. Anyway, here's the next chapter. I was SO HAPPY with all the reviews you guys wrote me. Like, I was on a review high, which is like… sugar high times ten. Really. I was like the bouncing off the walls, doing Jacky-chan backflips, skipping on the moon kind of happy. EXTREME ECSTASY. See, this is what reviews do to me. But it's a good kind of crazy, I swear, so keep those reviews coming. They are my BABIES. Which make you mothers who gave birth to babies…okay, that came out wrong. But you get the point. At least, I'm assuming you do anyway.

**MIKI IS AWESOME! **My lovely anon review drew me this wonderful, beautiful, stunning, awesome, amazing, super cool, (insert awesome synonym here), fanart of Fern!** There's a link on my profile, so go over there and check it out! **

Hey, if anyone else wants to draw me fanart then that would make me even more happy…You know you want to do it! You know you do…

…You also know you want to read and** REVIEW **(the most important part…after READING of course. Please don't review and not read. First of all, that would be WEIRD, and second of all, you would have nothing to say in your review. So save yourself some trouble and read the chapter. At least then you can complain about it properly).

**Last chapter (for the memory-impaired):** _Uh…Fern stole from a dumb-looking fat dude (kids, don't d try this at home—or anywhere ,really). She also went to a store and bought some cookies (okay, not really, but she bought food, I swear). She talked on the phone with her kind-of brother, Akulla, and he directed her to the Hunter exam without really telling her where she was going. So, now Fern is stuck in a room with a million sweaty, ugly guys, waiting for the exam to start. Read on to find out exactly what kind of strange things can occur while Fern is waiting…because Fern is not a patient little girl at all…_

**Disclaimer: Hunter x Hunter belongs to Togashi. Fern belongs to me. ….But I'm not a slave owner. I swear. **

**Chapter 2: First Impressions are Often Misleading**

Fern was wrong. The Hunter Exam was not fun. It was boring, boring, _boring,_ and involved way too much waiting.

Well, at least the first part did.

Fern groaned for the millionth time as she shifted her weight from one side of her body to the other. She had been lying on her side on the ground for hours now, just waiting for the exam to start. She didn't know how much time they would make the candidates wait for, but she seriously hoped it wasn't too long.

She wasn't sure how much longer of this patience stuff she could_ take_.

"Damn you, stupid Hunter Committee," she muttered under her breath. She fidgeted with her bare feet for a moment (the shoes had been abandoned and stuffed into her bag a good three or four hours ago) before flopping onto her back and staring at the ceiling. Fern frowned. "Why the hell do we have to wait so freaking long for this thing to start? I could be somewhere else right now, getting more money or something."

"Well, they do have to wait for more candidates to arrive, or else it wouldn't be fair to those who actually had to take the boats to get here."

Fern jumped at the sound of another person's voice. She instantly rolled onto her feet into a kneeling position and glared at the offender, her eyes sharp and alert. "Who the hell are you?" she hissed at the man suspiciously.

"Whoa, whoa there," the man said, waving his hands in front of him apologetically. "Relax, I didn't mean to startle you." He was a short, round man with a box-nose. Box-nose…she narrowed her eyes. He was the one who had been giving that silver-haired boy those cans of juice.

Fern rose into a standing position and leant against the wall, but nonetheless didn't let her guard down. Her icy blue eyes were pinned to the man in front of her, and although she may have appeared to be relaxed, she most certainly was not. She trusted no one here. Not the man giving out pins, not the silver haired boy, and certainly not Mr. Uber-Fugly-Box-Nose in front of her.

_Fern's list of survival rules:_

_Rule number one: Never trust anyone._

"Hey," she said, smiling warmly. Or rather, fake-warmly. But to him, it probably looked real-warmly, so really, what was the difference?

The man seemed a bit startled at her sudden change of mood, but seemed to relax when he thought Fern relaxed.

_Rule Number two: Fool the target into letting his guard down around you._

"Hi," he greeted. He grinned at her and she grinned back. "It's nice to meet you." He stuck his hand out for a handshake. "My name's Tompa."

"Nice to meet you too," she said. Her gaze quickly flickered down to his hand, checking to make sure there wasn't a dart or something in it, but her eyes were back on his face in such a short time, she knew Tompa didn't notice. Seemingly without hesitating, Fern took his hand and shook it. A warm smile melted the ice in her baby blue eyes. "My name's Leaf."

_Rule Number Three: Never give out your real name._

"Are you a rookie?" Tompa asked.

Fern nodded. "Yep." She blinked and gazed at him with wide, curious eyes. "How'd you know?"

"Oh, it's because I've never seen you before. This is my thirty-fifth time taking this exam, so I know who all the regular candidates are," he explained.

"Ah," Fern said, smiling widely. "So you're like a veteran!"

He smiled and rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "I guess you could say that."

"Wow, that's so cool!" she exclaimed. She paused and blinked. "Wait, so, if you know everybody," Fern began, her eyes beginning shining with excitement, "can you, like, tell me about them or something?"

_Rule Number Four: Take advantage of whatever the target has to offer._

He shrugged. "Sure." His eyes searched the room until they landed on a man with cotton-candy blue hair, a jester suit on, and was building card stacks in the corner of the room. "That's Hisoka. He's dangerous, so you should stay away from him. He got disqualified last year of nearly killing an examiner, and he's killed a bunch of other candidates as well." Then, he glanced over at a man with a cloth wrapped around his head. "That's number 103, snake tamer Barbon. He's vengeful." Looking over at a man with a funny mustache, black hair, and a grim expression on his muscled face, he said, "Number 76. Fighter, Cherry. No one can beat him in hand-to-hand combat." His gaze then wandered over to a heavy man who seriously needed to lose some weight. "Number 255. Wrestler, Todo. He's smart and he's strong." Then, his attention snapped across the room to three boys who looked to be brothers with their matching clothes and caps. "Number 197 through 199. The Amori Brothers. With their exquisite combination play, they've done well on the exams." Next, he glanced towards a man with extremely curly, black hair, tanned skin, and a puffy hat. "Number 384, Hunter Gereta. He kills all sorts of animals with his blow-gun and club. He's good."

_Rule Number Five: Gather as much information about your opponents as possible._

"…Is that all?" Fern asked.

Tompa nodded.

Fern beamed at him. "Wow, thanks! That was so helpful! I hope you do well on the exams!" She smiled at him one last time before she turned and began to walk away.

"Yeah, no problem," Tompa replied. He smiled for a while, but then he glanced down at his hand and his eyes widened. There he was, holding the forgotten the can of juice in his hand, sitting there unopened and untouched. "Wait!" he yelled. His gaze shot up from the can to the crowd in front of him. "Do you want some jui…..ce?"

He glanced from right to left, from up to down, and all around him, but he couldn't see that strange girl no matter where he looked. He frowned and scratched his head. "Where did she go?"

Tompa's gaze swept the room one last time, before he finally sighed in resignation. With a shook of his head, he dismissed 'Leaf' from his mind, and turned away to find more clueless rookies to weed out of the crowd.

Standing in the midst of the crowd was Fern, hidden in the shadows of the candidates around her. She smirked as she watched Tompa wander around and offer his can of juice to other candidates. She knew his trick—sticking laxative into cans and giving them to the naïve rookies. Sure, the laxative was odorless, but that was exactly what gave him away. Seriously, what kind of orange juice was odorless? Plus, no one in their right mind would carry around that many cans of orange juice without an ulterior motive in mind. So, Fern figured he was either 1) an orange juice salesman, 2) a man with a severe obsession with odorless orange juice, or 3) he was handing people laxative in hopes of deceiving them and getting them to fail.

Option one was dumb. Option two was unlikely. But option three made sense, so option three it was.

It wasn't a big surprise—not to Fern, anyway. In her head, Tompa looked like a lying pig anyways, with that weird box-shaped nose of his and all. Fern secretly wondered if one of the candidates he'd offered the laxative to had turned around and smashed his nose into that weird shape. _He certainly would have deserved it,_ Fern thought to herself with a giggle.

After watching Tompa for one last second, Fern finally turned away and began to weave in and out of the people, heading away from Tompa and further into the crowd.

_Rule Number Six: When the target no longer holds any more use…_

…_**Disappear.**_

**. . .**

Number of times in the last three hours Fern had said:

Hi: 30

Hello: 26

Nice to meet you: 15

My name's Leaf: 15

You look really strong/smart: 15

I don't know if I can pass, but I bet you'll pass:15

Wow, thanks! You're so nice for offering to help me pass the exam!: 15

Number of times Fern had repeated the same speech over and over again: 15

Number of times Fern was acting the whole time: 15

Number of times Fern was secretly wishing she could rip Akulla's head off for signing her up for this torture: _Infinity_

Fern couldn't remember the last time she had talked to so many people. She'd jumped from conversation to conversation, meeting new people and parting with them every couple minutes. She'd approached at least half the growing population of the candidates, held a decent conversation with a fourth of them, and had successfully created herself a nice, decent sized group of carefully selected allies who could be used and disposed of according to Fern's will.

Of all the people she'd spoken to, she remembered speaking to a ninja named Hanzo the most clearly. He was strong, stronger than her, and just as smart as well, though his big mouth tended to be annoying at times. She'd also spoken quickly to the three Amori brothers, a cocky fat nerd named Nicole, a blue-haired girl named Ponzu, and a few others.

All in a couple of hours.

In Fern's book (a very long, overpriced novel with a narrator with an attitude problem and a character with severe potty-mouth syndrome) allies were_ not_ friends. Not even close. Rather, they were disposable things that were meant to be used to their full potential and then throw away-nothing more, and nothing less. Allies were a pain to gather, seeing as they involved a lot of acting, sweet talking, and charming her way into their hearts, but really, they were necessary if she thought she was going to get out of the hunter exam unscathed and with a card worth a million bucks in her hand.

Fern sighed as she made her way back over to the wall. She had exhausted herself both physically and mentally, and now all she wanted was to take a nice long nap and never wake up. However, she knew she couldn't because 1) she didn't trust the candidates enough to sleep around them, and 2) she had to breeze through hunter exam an as quick as she could. The faster she finished the exam, the less time she would have to be away from Bea and Akulla.

Speaking of Bea and Akulla, Fern hoped they would be okay with her absence. She was counting on the exam to be at _most_ less than a month long, because if it was longer than that, then Akulla would have to go on a raid in place of her. It wasn't like Akulla couldn't do it himself (because he could), but she enjoyed treating him like an annoying younger brother, and going on raids meant she was doing the ' big sister' job, a.k.a taking care of the family.

And Fern wasn't quite sure she liked the idea of him stealing her job.

Besides, what if Bea got sick? She was already old and withering away, not to mention she was _blind_. Sure, Akulla was a genius or whatever, but what if he needed Fern and she wasn't there? Could she quit the hunter exam in the middle to go help him? What if Akulla and Bea ran out of food before she got back? What if one of them got hurt? What if-what if-

Fern groaned as she leant against the cold, damp wall and slid to the ground, landing not-so-graciously on her behind. She leant her forehead against the surface, feeling the cool temperature against her hot skin and letting it soothe the pounding her temples. She struggled to keep her eyes open, going so far as to bang her head against the wall a couple times in hopes of "beating out the sleep".

Needless to say, it didn't work so well. In fact, it didn't work at all. All it ended up doing was giving Fern an even bigger headache, _plus _a new bruise to look forward to seeing later on in the day.

"Damn it," Fern swore. She groaned exhaustedly. "Too much freaking work…."

"Work?"

Fern's head snapped up so quickly her neck cracked and her skull slammed against the wall. "Shit!" she cursed, recoiling instantly. She hissed in pain. Fern raised a hand to gently massage the aching bump on the back of her head, all the while staring at the boy in front of her with narrowed eyes.

It was the silver-haired kid who'd drank all those cans of juice ( or rather, laxatives) from Tompa. Her eyes narrowed further. He'd consumed all that laxative, and yet, he was standing right in front of her looking perfectly fine and well…

Just who was this kid?

"What do you want?" she snapped, the pain getting the better of her. Fern knew she probably should have been acting just to keep up with the innocent-little-girl façade she'd shown all the other candidates, but… she was in a bad mood, she was bored, she was tired, and _god_ did her head hurt like hell!

Fern wasn't in the mood for this.

The boy shrugged aloofly. "Nothing, really." His emotionless teal eyes bore into her blue ones. "I'm just bored."

Fern considered it. Well, he _did_ look awfully bored. …Or maybe that was his face.

Fern scowled. "How old are you, three? Go entertain yourself," she snarled.

The boy just stared at her.

"What?" she snapped, irritated. What was his problem?

"…You're weird," he said.

She huffed at him. "Oh, and you're not?"

He shrugged.

It was then that she noticed the green skateboard tucked under his arm. Fern blinked, sitting up straight, her exhaustion suddenly not so important anymore. "A skateboard?" she asked curiously. Her previous irritation with him seemed to have been completely forgotten. Glancing up at the boy, she raised an eyebrow and questioned, "Why a skateboard?"

He shrugged again. "Why not a skateboard?"

Fern rolled her eyes. "Well, first of all they're loud," she began. "Second of all, the wheels can get stuck, or dirty, in which case they might need oiling. And third," she paused and furrowed her brow at the boy, "Why the hell would you want a_ skateboard_ when you can just run barefoot?"

That last comment seemed to pique some interest in him. "…Barefoot?" he repeated.

"Uh, _yeah_," she drawled, annoyed. She frowned at him mockingly. "What, are you deaf?"

He smirked, a glint with mischief flashing in his eyes. "No," he said, his smirk widening. "Are you?"

"Does it _look_ like I am?" Fern scoffed.

"Does it look like _I _am?" he countered.

Fern glared at him, and he matched her fierce gaze with his own smug one. Cool teal eyes met enraged blue ones. Fern's eyes narrowed even further at the sight of the smirk on his face and the spark in his eyes. Beneath the cool, collected exterior, she could see his amusement in watching her get enraged. She glared harder and his smirk grew, this time into something that was almost….challenging. Was he challenging her?

_Cocky bastard._

"…What the hell do you want?" Fern repeated, her steady, cautious gaze never wavering.

She searched his eyes for something, anything to tell her what he was thinking, but in the end Fern gave up. He was too guarded. She couldn't see beneath that nonchalant, cool exterior he had built up around him.

The boy ignored her question. "…You're like me," he said.

She frowned in confusion. "What?" What was with the random questions? Was he not psychologically equipped to follow a conversation correctly or what?

He stared at her, his gaze strong and unnerving, before slowly opening his mouth and saying, "…Nothing."

And then he broke his gaze away from her and walked away, disappearing into the crowd. Fern was left staring at the spot where she last saw his back, her thoughts muddled and confused as she tried to make sense of the conversation she had just had with the boy.

"_You're like me." _

That's what he'd said. But why? How? Or rather…_What?_

Fern frowned. She felt her eyebrow twitching in annoyance. _That kid made _no_ sense. At all. _

Shaking her head, Fern decided she'd wasted enough time pondering a random boy's stupid words (which probably meant nothing and were just him talking complete nonsense), and slowly leant her head back against the wall. She let out a long, exhausted sigh and dragged her bag tighter to her, wrapping her arms around it protectively and clutching it close to her thin frame.

Time passed as Fern sat there, staring tiredly at the wall with her eyelids drooping and limbs heavy as lead. As seconds passed, minutes passed, and then hours, she found herself struggling to fight the fatigue that quickly crept up at her. It ate at the corners of her vision. It weighed down on the weak limbs of her body. It muddled her mind and clouded her thoughts, leaving her near delirious with exhaustion and a need for sleep.

Fern wanted to fight it, she really did, but she didn't have enough strength. She was never one to give in, especially not to something as stupid as sleep, but this time—this time, she found she couldn't deny it. Fern couldn't resist it. It was like her body was screaming at her to just shut up and go to sleep, like it was shutting her off and pushing her away. She felt almost as though she were having a mental, subconscious fight with herself between what her body thought it needed, and what she knew were her natural survival instincts and paranoia kicking in. But in the end, her body won over her mind, and Fern felt herself giving in, surrendering to the comforting thought of rest.

_I'll just…I'll just take a short nap…_

As she nodded off, slipping in between the states of semi-consciousness and total unconsciousness, Fern found her thoughts to be jumbled, barely coherent, and just bordering on the edge of sane and insanity. The words strung together in her mind like an unfastened necklace—without connection to thread them together. But even as she drifted off, she felt her muddled mind wandering, pondering and thinking over random things that popped into her mind.

The last thought that entered her mind was,

_Just who is that silver-haired kid? _

And then she passed out.

**. . .**

Fern awoke a while later feeling oddly refreshed.

_Huh, _she thought to herself as she sat up and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes_. I…guess I really needed that. _

Letting out one big yawn, she raised her arms above her head, stretching, and tilted her head from side to side to work out the little cramps and knots that had formed while she was sleeping. She rolled her shoulders and flexed her fingers, trying to wake up her body. Then, she ran a hand through her pale blonde hair trying to comb out any loose pieces of dirt that had found their way into her hair.

When Fern was satisfied with that, she stood, brushed off the back of her gray dress, and once again began to wander the large room filled with candidates. However, there seemed to be two major differences between the last time she had explored the room, and now. The first was that Fern was now in a much better mood than before, and therefore viewed the room in a much less sardonic way. The dark gloom that hung around the room no longer bore down on Fern's nerves. Instead of allowing the constant suspicious glances and glaring eyes bother her, she now took it into stride and flaunted it, smiling and waving at anyone who dared shoot an unfriendly look her way, and dancing in and out of the people with a bounce in her step.

Fern's sweet innocence may have been a façade, but her good mood definitely was not.

The second thing that was different was the number of candidates. If Fern had thought there were a lot of them before, then she had no idea how many of them there were now. She glanced around the room in slight shock, feeling slightly overwhelmed by the shear amount of people in that one area. She had never seen so many people in so little space. In all honesty, seeing so many people together made her feel a bit claustrophobic.

Fern blinked, pausing as she passed by the small, egg-headed man who handed out the numbered pins to those who arrived out of the elevator. She wondered how many pins he had handed out so far. It might come in handy to know how many candidates there were so that she knew exactly how many opponents she would have to watch out for. Fern frowned in thought, contemplating whether she should ask the man or not.

_Well, _she thought to herself,_ …I guess there's no harm in just asking…_

Fern shrugged and slowly approached the round man. "Um….excuse me?" she asked, a pleasant smile lifting the corners of her lips up.

The man turned his head to look at her. "Um, hello," he said, seeming a bit confused as to why a candidate would be talking to him. "Do you…need something?"

Fern giggled and rubbed the back of her head sheepishly. "Actually," she began, "I was going to ask you a question."

"Um…go ahead."

She grinned. "How many people are here so far?"

The man glanced down at the bucket in his hands. "Well, there should be four-hundred and-

He blinked, pausing as the elevator door slid open to reveal three new candidates.

-and five, now," he finished, looking slightly surprised.

Fern stared at the three people who had just stepped out of the elevator, letting her curious, prying gaze soak in their appearances. The tallest one was male, that much was obvious. He had short black hair and wore a pair of sunglasses, though with the lack of light underground, he would probably end up ridding himself of those soon. He was clad in a black suit and a tie, and if Fern hadn't known better, she might have thought him to be one of those annoying, rich business men who liked to flaunt their money. Fortunately, she did know better, and so she knew from first glance that the material his suit was made of was cheap and commonplace. Nothing on him signified wealth or any of that sort, except for perhaps…Her gaze dropped to the suitcase in his left hand… _that_.

She wondered what was in it.

Before Fern could get too caught up in deducing what lay inside that mysterious suitcase of his, she tore her eyes away for him to look at one of the other two candidates that had entered with him. While the taller man's gender had been obvious the moment she looked at him, this one's….well…

Let's just say Fern couldn't say the same about….it.

"It" was a young….person with short, smooth-looking pale blonde hair. It was styled in a way that could have passed for both a girl's haircut and a boy's haircut, so that certainly didn't help Fern determine "its" gender. Her gaze traveled down to "it's" clothes, and, to her immense dismay, she found that "it" was wearing puffy white pants underneath some sort of weird pull-over, blue cape thing that looked disturbingly close to a short dress. Unfortunately, "its" strange choice of outfit also served well to hide whether or not "it" had any distinguishing male or female body parts.

Fern's eye twitched in annoyance. Was that thing a _girl _or a _boy_? God! People these days were so freaking _annoying_ with their absurd fashion senses! It was almost as though "it" was _trying_ to remain ambiguous!

Frustration urging her to move on, Fern glanced over at the last candidate and did a quick once-over of him, no longer holding the patience to observe him carefully like she had done to the other two. He was a short boy around her age or perhaps younger, with spiky black hair and black eyes. She briefly wondered whether or not his hair was hard enough or sharp enough to be used as a secret weapon, but pushed that thought to the back of her mind when she realized she was wandering. His outfit was composed or a dark green shirt and shorts, and something akin to hiking boots as his shoes, but what really caught her attention was the long, thin stick he was holding.

Was that—was that really a—dare she say it—a…

_Fishing_ rod?

Internally, she gaped at the people in front of her, feeling more shocked than she had in a while. She tried not to let her surprise show on the outside, but she couldn't help the slight twitching of her eyebrow as the annoyance finally caught up to her.

What the hell was wrong with these people? A transvestite, a man who was an imposter of the mafia, and a kid with a fishing rod?

There was _definitel_y something wrong with that picture. Actually, there were many things wrong with that picture. In fact, Fern thought the whole picture needed some_ major_ crop and editing skills. In her head, the only thing that belonged was the background. The odd-ball, lunatic people in front of it should've been erased.

Fern stared at them for a while, watching as they glanced around, taking in their new surroundings. None of them seemed to have noticed her interest in them, or at least, none of them had said anything, or looked at her strangely. She wanted to look away, or to walk up to them, or to smile and act out her usual facade, or at least do _something_, but…

_God_! She just couldn't look away!

They were just so…so…

She scowled.

So _weird_ looking!

But…

Fern's eyes narrowed and a small smile crept onto her face. "A bit loony looking, but…"she paused in her mumbling, her eyes glinting devilishly and her smile growing wider, so wide it was almost creepy. "But…they'd make some damn _interesting_ allies."

She giggled as she glided her way across the floor towards them.

_They don't have a clue what's coming._

**. . .**

**A/N (Because apparently I didn't talk enough in the beginning): **So…how do you like it? I actually thought this chapter was kind of boring, cause like…all she does is run around and talk to people. The next chapter is probably gonna be a bore too…Ugh, I am dreading it.

**QUESTION OF THE CHAPTER:** _Did you think the chapter was boring? If you did, what do you think would make future chapters more interesting? Is there anything you think should happen between characters?_ TELL ME! …In your review. Because remember, I am NOT telepathic. Therefore, I will have no clue what the heck you are thinking in those confusing little brains of yours unless you TELL ME in a REVIEW!

Honestly, I am not Edward Cullen. Or your mom. Or any other mind reading individual. So you better review and tell me what you think, or I'll get even crazier. Do NOT be all like "it's too TROUBLESOME" or "I'm too laaazzzy", cause that's Shikamaru's job, and the only one who is allowed to cosplay him is MOI. And you are not me, so no, you are not allowed to be lazy. So start typing. I don't care if you suck at typing and spend five minutes picking out one letter—you get your butt on your chair and review!

Am I good at motivational speeches or what? Oh, thank you, I know I'm awesome at them, thank you very much…Oh, and one last, very predictable word…

**REVIEW (because putting things in bold and then explaining why makes everything better)**

Gee, I'm feeling awfully repetitive today.

-Cookie Krisp


	4. Sweet and Spicy is the Flavor of Envy

**A/N:** Hey, everyone's all panicked over here cause we're supposed to have a bad storm….but me? Nah, I'm too lazy to get panicked. I'm just chilling up in my room. So yeah, enjoy the chapter….and review at the end, please. Or in the middle. Or three-quarters of the way through, but I don't really care. Just click the button and type.

**Summary of last chapter:**_ Fern, while waiting for the Hunter exam to start, talked to Akulla on the phone, watched Killua drink laxative, called Tompa Mr. Uber-Fugly-Box-Nose, and determined that Gon was a weirdo kid with a fishing rod, Leorio was an imposter mafia man, and Kurapika was an "it". Read on to find out how devastated Kurapika can get about his severe gender-crisis. _

**Disclaimer:** Yoshihiro Togashi owns Hunter x Hunter. Fern is mine. I am being attacked by Déjà vu.

**Note: Akulla's name is spelled Akulla on purpose. **I swear on your life that I'm not dumb enough to make that mistake. Really, I mean it. Which is exactly why I swore on your life and not mine.

By the way, just a warning, but the POV in this chapter is jumpy, unstable, and incorrect. I apologize if it bothers you. There is no anti-annoying-POV-switch-itch cream that I can offer you, but I can advise you to do your best to ignore it.

Read on if you like chicken. Review even if you don't.

**Chapter 3:** **Sweet and Spicy is the Flavor of Envy**

Fern was practically radiating sunshine as she bounded up to the three candidates with a large smile on her face and an energetic bounce in her step. "Hi!"

The three candidates turned around simultaneously, their gazes searching and scanning for the owner of the voice. When their eyes locked on the petite blonde girl in front of them, Fern carefully watched and gauged their reactions. The two older ones shared a matching look of surprise and slight surprise (she noted with amusement that the older, mafia one's expression seemed to look a lot stupider than the blonde androgynous one's), while on the other hand, the younger, black-haired boy just stared at her curiously, not in the least bit surprised, before letting a wide grin of his own spread across his face.

"Hi!" the boy replied enthusiastically.

The blonde "it" person snapped out of their slight daze much faster than the other man did. "It", unlike Gon, did not smile at her. Instead, "it" stared at her neither unpleasantly nor pleasantly. Fern smiled wider as she noticed "its" slight change in stance. "Its" knees became bent slightly and "its" arms hovered a bit away from his body. "Its" icy blue eyes were trained on Fern, and that was how she knew "it" was the cautious type.

"It" didn't trust her.

Irritation bubbled up inside of her, and she fought the urge to scowl.

"It" really needed a gender.

And with that in mind, Fern turned her head slightly and looked up at the blonde-haired candidate, smiling warmly. "Hello," she greeted.

"Hello," the blonde replied, relaxing slightly.

Fern stared at him for a moment, before blinking and frowning. She cocked her head to the side in confusion, her eyes trained on the blonde's face.

The blonde's eyebrows rose. "Is something the matter?" he asked curiously.

Fern faked a blush and rubbed the back of her head, smiling sheepishly. "Oh, um…" she mumbled, as if embarrassed. "I-uh…Can I ask you something?" She gazed up at the blonde from beneath her pale blonde lashes, a hopeful, but timid look shining in her blue eyes.

The blonde hesitated a bit before nodding. "Yes. Go ahead."

The words blurted from her mouth before she even knew they were coming.

"Are you a girl, a boy, or_ both_?"

The blonde froze. "It's" jaw dropped and "it's" eyes went as wide as golf balls. It was almost as through her words had literally struck "it" like a streak of lightning and left "it" as unmoving broken as a crumbling stone statue.

Fern's eyebrows rose, and she felt a spark of amusement inside of her due to..._it's_ dramatic reaction. Although she hid it on the outside, on the inside, she couldn't stop the (rather large) devilish part of her from giggling and snickering at the blonde's demise.

She turned to the older mafia man who had burst out laughing at the sound of her question. He was still howling at the shell-shocked blonde. She tilted her head at him and bit her lip, as if worried. "Is um…your friend gonna be okay?" she asked the man, glancing anxiously towards the frozen blonde.

The man calmed slightly and shot her an amused look. He shorted. "Yeah," he replied. He glanced at the blonde and snickered under his breath. "He'll get over it eventually."

Fern blinked again. "He?" she questioned eagerly. "The blonde is a he?"

The man nodded, laughter still sparkling in his eyes. "Yeah. I know it might be hard to believe, but that girly-looking blonde is actually a boy."

"Ah…," she drawled, glancing over at the blonde. "I see."

_A man? _She thought skeptically, eyeing him again. Fern looked at his blue cape-dress thing, his puffy white pants, his thin frame, his soft, round face, his big, blue eyes, and his silky blonde hair, and a frown threatened to mar her face. _But he looks more like a_ girl_ than a boy! _Fern twitched. _What a freak…._

After giving the…_boy_ one last funny look, Fern turned back to the man with a cheery smile on her face. "Well, anyways, my name's Leaf!" she introduced, the lie flowing from her mouth with practiced ease. She beamed at the man and stuck her hand out for a handshake.

He grinned easily, but waved away her hand. "Hey, I'm Leorio. Nice to meet you."

Fern smiled and nodded, but inside she was reeling. He hadn't shaken her hand…did he not trust her?

She turned away from him, angling her body towards the blonde-haired boy. Fern pretended to have switched her attention from Leorio to the blonde, but instead of introducing herself to the boy, she glanced at Leorio out of the corner of her eyes. His stance was visibly stressed. He was standing up to his full height instead of slouching, and his shoulders held a sort of hidden rigidity. Her gaze traveled down to his feet, where his foot kept tapping against the ground, a sign of nervousness. She looked back up to his hands. One was holding the suitcase over his shoulder, but the other was in his pocket. "_In body language, sticking your hand in your pocket generally means your subconscious mind is trying to tell you to hide, either because you feel self-conscious, or you are afraid," from page 43 in 'Ody Anguage Igns", , _Fern quoted in her head. _With the B and the L and S all missing from the cover title, of course._

Her eyes flickered up to his face as a bead of sweat rolled down his forehead. Leorio wasn't aware of her gaze on him, so he didn't know he was being observed. His eyes kept flittering from right to left, glancing anxiously at all the candidates.

Fern hid the smirk. He was scared…Maybe not of her, but of the other candidates. She glanced over at the large, forbidding group of candidates. Well, they were a bit…intimidating looking-appearance wise, anyways. She fought the urge to roll her eyes as one of the burlier candidates started bragging loudly about all of his abilities and everything he could do to them if they got into a fight.

Okay, so maybe they _were _strong, but some of them were probably a _bit_ lacking in the intelligence department.

And you were damned if you thought Fern wasn't going to take advantage of that.

"Your name is Leaf, right?" the blonde asked.

Fern's head immediately snapped up, the cold and calculating look wiped off her face and replaced with a friendly smile. "Yep," she replied, nodding. Then she he tilted her head to the side and blinked curiously at the blonde. "What's your name, mister?"

He smiled lightly at her and reached his hand. "I'm Kurapika. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance."

She giggled and shook his hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you too."

Letting go of his hand, Fern turned towards the younger boy around her age and smiled. "Hey," she greeted. She locked her hands behind her back and rolled back and forth on the balls of her bare feet.

"Hi!" the boy exclaimed, a huge grin spreading across his face. "I'm Gon!"

She returned his grin with one of her own. "I'm Leaf," she said. Fern giggled, a spark of amusement in her eyes. "But you probably already knew that."

Out of the corner of her eye, she watched as Tompa slowly edged his way closer to their group, his hands full of cans of laxative and a wicked smirk on his face. Fern narrowed her eyes, debating whether or not she wanted to risk another confrontation with the tricky, box-nosed man, before she decided that no, she didn't want to talk to the stupid man again, and yes, that did mean getting the hell away from the rookies he was heading towards.

She really didn't want to know what laxative tasted like.

"Leaf?"

Fern snapped out of her thoughts and refocused on the small boy in front of her—Gon, he'd said his name was. "Yes?" she asked innocently.

"Oh, nothing," Gon said. He smiled. "You just looked a bit spaced-out, that's all."

_Damn, this boy is observant! _Fern smiled, but on the inside her nerves were beginning to tingle, warning her to say her farewells and get the heck out of there. She was well aware of the movement in her peripheral vision- Tompa was about ten seconds away from introducing himself to the group.

"…Well, anyway, I'm gonna go up to the front," she began, jabbing her thumb over her shoulder, "you know, see what's going on and stuff."

"Okay," Gon replied amiably.

Kurapika and Leorio nodded.

"Alright then," Fern said. She smiled apologetically at the three. "It was nice talking to you guys." She cast them one last look before she turned and began a brisk walk towards the crowd. "Good luck on the exams!" she called back.

"You too!" Gon yelled in reply. He smiled and waved at her, watching as she gradually disappeared into the crowd. When she was finally out of sight, he turned back to Leorio and Kurapika. "The candidates are really nice," he commented optimistically.

Leorio stared at him, raising an eyebrow skeptically. "Huuuuh?" He shot Gon a strange look. "You gotta be kidding me if you think all those dudes," he paused and motioned to all the burly men glaring at them, "are gonna be as friendly as that Leaf chick."

Gon shrugged. "Still," he said, his eyes twinkling in delight, "she was really nice." A large grin split his face in half. "Maybe we can be friends!"

Kurapika smiled slightly and shook his head. "Gon," he mumbled. "You are way too trusting." And, even though Kurapika didn't know it at the time…

There was nothing he could have said that was truer than that statement.

**. . .**

Fern hummed to herself as she skipped through the crowd, gracefully avoiding any of the men. She just smiled and pretended like she was completely oblivious to all the hostile and skeptical stares directed at her. She wasn't, though.

Not in the least.

It was merely seconds after she had skipped to the front of the crowd that a funny looking, mouse-ish, monkey-ish, man with a curly mustache, no mouth, and gray hair appeared. Fern took one look at him and recognized him as an examiner. It was the way he moved, it was the way he stood, it was the way his aura just kind of felt stronger, trained—_different_ than the all others around her that told her he was a hunter.

She smirked. A _good_ hunter at that.

Her blue eyes fluttered down to the strange contraption he was holding. Fern furrowed her brow as she watched the man reach down and pull on it. What was he doing….?

_**BRIIIIIIIIING!**_

Fern jumped, startled. A shrill ringing sound blasted from the contraption's mouth, resonating through the air and piercing her ears. She winced at the sound, cringing and placing her hands over her ears to protect her hearing. The sound cut through the chattering of the candidates, surprising the words out of their mouths. The shrill scream echoed over and over again and vibrated in the air until it gradually faded into the comforting nothing-ness of absolute silence.

One by one the candidates turned to face the no-mouth man. Soon, the whole crowd's attention was pinned on the gray-haired examiner. And only then did he speak.

"Now, we'll begin the Hunter Exam."

But he didn't have mouth.

**. . .**

The first exam turned out to be a stamina test. The candidates were to follow the first examiner to the location of the second examination.

Sounds simple, yes?

Well, not exactly.

Fern smirked as she slowed her pace to jog next to a struggling Nicole. They had only been running about thirty minutes, and he had already broken out into a sweat. She resisted the urge to scoff and roll her eyes. What an idiot. Why had he even bothered coming to the Hunter Exam if he couldn't even get himself in good enough shape to run a couple miles?

Her eyes strayed towards the fat that was that was threatening to overflow over the waistline of his overalls. She watched the blubber bounce as he ran. She stared at his chubby figure, at the extra, unneeded fat covering his body. _Extra…heavy…fat…over…excess…_

Tearing her eyes away, she then glanced down at her own twig-like, thin—_too _thin—body. She stared at the ribs poking through to the surface. Her eyes narrowed at lack of excess skin to stretch across the surface of her stomach.

_Scarce…thin…hungry…meager…frail…_

Her eyes traveled back towards Nicole. Nicole, he was the fat boy-the overweight, well-dressed, rich boy with a laptop. He was the boy with more food than he needed and lots and lots and _lots _of money, and a nice home, and a great education, and an actual family, and parents who were alive, and a real childhood, and a great, normal life. He had all of that and more. And yet, he still wanted to become a hunter. He still…

He still wanted _more_.

A bitter flame burned in her chest.

He had so much food, so much he could afford to eat more than he needed. So much that he could eat cakes, pastries, precious, expensive _delicacies_ that Fern could only_ dream_ of eating. He had all that extra, all that excess food, all that money he didn't use. Compared to her, a girl who stole to survive, a girl who was barely scraping by, a girl who didn't have nearly enough food to fill her- let alone two other people-a girl who had nothing that was truly hers….

Compared to her, he had everything.

And he still wanted _more_?

Fern gritted her teeth together. _Stupid, unappreciative brat, _she spat in her head.

Hot flames of fury burned within her, licking at her and tempting her, scorching her from the inside out. They jumped and danced and sparked, quickly eating her up and spreading…the fire leaped and devoured her, engulfing her in flames of jealousy, the heat of anger…and yet, she couldn't do anything but stand there and be strangled by the smoke of her own fury. She could do nothing but stare in envy at the boy who had everything she'd ever wanted, but was so unappreciative and greedy, and selfish, and spoiled, and hungry, and piggy andsimply_ inhuman_, that he still had the nerve to crave more.

_**Unfair. **_

Fern resisted the urge to snarl. She wanted to kick him, she wanted to punch him, she wanted to make him puke up all that _extra_ he had consumed. She wanted to make him give back all that he had wasted. And at that moment, she hated him. She hated him because he was what she wanted to be. He was what she yearned for, what she dreamed of, what she wished for, worked for, and yet never did and never _would_ get. She longed for it all. She longed to live his life, to have it all. Simple things like money, and a coat, and a bed, and a house, and a shower—all those things that were considered to be normal everyday necessities, but were things she did not have. Why was it Nicole had everything she needed? Why did he get the extra, when she got none? Everything that he had more than enough of…why couldn't any of that have gone to her instead?

And to think he didn't even appreciate any of it. To think that even with all that luxury, he still wanted more.

It wasn't fair, it wasn't fair. It simply. _Wasn't. Fair._

But instead of screaming, instead of yelling, instead of crying and swearing and cursing god for how much her life sucked, Fern turned and smiled at Nicole sweetly, sweetly, almost _too_ sweetly. Like too much frosting on a cake—sickeningly sweet, and yet undeniably beautiful.

"Having trouble there?" she asked, giggling. Her smile was warm but her eyes were hot, hot, burning with a scorching fire that was blistering with heat and yet unbearably cold at the same time.

"I-I'm fine!" Nicole wheezed out through shallow gasps. Each of his steps was heavy and long, weighed down by the intense heat of exhaustion.

Fern just giggled more.

"I can do this!" the boy gasped. He seemed to be assuring himself more than he was assuring her.

"_Of course_ you can," Fern agreed, almost mockingly. Her giggles grew more and more high-pitched. Wider, wider, wider her smile stretched as she watched the fat boy stumble and trip over his own feet. "…But can you _now_?"

Nicole's head snapped up to look at her, the tone of her voice alarming him. It was vicious. It was hot and fiery and vengeful and crazy and wild and yet cold, cold, so _cold_ at the same time. He looked up at her, and his heart skipped a beat .There was this crazed look in her eyes- this wild, insane glint—that sent a shiver crawling down his spine from the tip of his head to the ends of his toes.

She giggled.

And then she leaned closer to him and_ shoved_.

He hit the floor hard. He went toppling forward onto his knees, banging his right one hard against the cement. His eyes were wide and panicked, and the fall knocked the air out of him. His laptop flew out of his arms and clattered onto the floor, landing a few feet in front of him.

Nicole felt her shadow over him. He felt her standing in front of him, her presence blocking him from reaching for his laptop. Sweat dribbled down his forehead. Her stare bore into the back of his head, burning him and gluing him down. He could see her feet, her tiny, tiny bare feet standing right in front of him, and reluctantly, hesitatingly, he raised his head.

Fern smiled, her smile sugar-sweet, but dangerous-so temptingly frightening, but delicious. And then slowly, slowly, excruciatingly_ slowly_, he watched as she lifted her foot above his precious, dear laptop, hovered over it, and then came crashing down on top of it moments later.

It shattered.

And with it went his pride.

Nicole sat there on his hands and knees, sweating, shocked, frightened, tired, scared for himself, scared of the girl in front of him, scared of failing, scared of the world, sacred of everything. He could do nothing but stare at his broken laptop, stare at the only thing that remained of his long hours of hard work spent gathering information, stare at all his long, long hours of examining detail after detail after detail about each and every hunter examinee candidate crushed to pieces on the ground. He tore his eyes away and allowed his glazed eyes to sluggishly travel up to the girl's face.

She was smiling.

"Oopsies," Fern giggled. And then she turned and skipped away.

Leaving Nicole behind in her dust.

He trembled. He shook. He panicked.

And slowly but surely, he found the strength in himself to rise to his feet and keep jogging. His mind was frozen, and his body was shaking and vibrating as if the great tremors of an earthquake rocked his body, but he kept going, kept running anyway. He was like a robot on auto-pilot. He just ran, because, because…

He wanted to be a hunter? No. It was because….because….because…..

Why was he doing all of this to begin with? Nicole couldn't even remember anymore.

The only thing he _could_ remember was that little girl's smile.

Sweet and spicy. That was what she was. Sugary, enticing, and slathered in delicious, sweet frosting at first, but that never lasts forever. Because eventually, the frosting melts away. And when that happens, the spicy underneath is revealed, and it burns and burns and burns, with flames so hot and fiery that they leave a scalding, smoking fire licking your insides. But this flame doesn't burn out. It keeps burning brightly even long after she is gone.

Saccharine.

Alluring.

But so… so….

…_Dangerous. _

Another shiver wracked his body.

_No,_ he thought to himself as he stumbled clumsily through the tunnel, _that-that _thing_ was not a smile._

_**It was the grin of a Devil. **_

**. . .**

It was just moments after Fern had left Nicole to his own sorry self that a familiar, white-haired boy appeared next to her, riding by smoothly on his green skateboard.

Why did he always have to come when she was in a bad mood? "Long time no see," Fern greeted dryly, words dripping with sarcasm.

His teal eyes flickered over to her, taking in her irritated expression. He smirked. "Oh, it's Blondie"

Her eyebrow rose. "Blondie?" She snorted. "How _original_."

The boy did not answer, instead ignoring her and jumping off his skateboard to run beside her.

Fern stared at him for a while, a thoughtful look crossing her face. She said nothing—just kept her eyes pinned on him. After a while of this, she grew frustrated with her thoughts and furrowed her brow in confusion. "Why'd you do that?" Fern finally asked, breaking the silence.

He glanced at her curiously. "Do what?"

"Get off the skateboard," she explained impatiently, motioning towards the green board under his arm. "It was a smart choice to bring that thing, and since you don't know how long we're going to be running, shouldn't you use it to your advantage and conserve your stamina, rather than run and possibly overexert yourself?"

He shrugged aloofly. "I'll be fine."

Fern rolled her eyes. "Someone's cocky," she muttered under her breath.

"Not cocky," he said. "Just honest."

She blinked in surprise. _He heard that?_ She frowned. Either she needed to learn how to whisper better, or this kid has some seriously epic hearing abilities. _Speaking of abilities…_

"Hey," Fern said suddenly. She turned to look at the white-haired boy interestedly. "How were you able to drink all of Tompa's laxative without shitting yourself a second later?"

"Hm?" His teal eyes flickered back to her for a second before returning to their original spot in front of him. "Oh, you mean that box-nosed, old, fat guy?" He said it like it was nothing. Hell, he said _everything _like it was nothing.

Fern wrinkled her nose. _Annoying,_ she thought to herself. _That is really, really_ annoying.

"Yeah," she confirmed. "That one."

"Poison doesn't work on me," he replied, shrugging. "I'm immune to it."

_What? _She raised an eyebrow, staring at him warily. _Well, Akulla is too, but…_"Do I want to know how that happened?" Fern asked hesitantly.

"I don't know," he responded. He glanced at her. "It depends. Are you a sadist?"

She blinked in surprise. "Excuse me?"

He rolled his eyes. "You heard me."

"Well,_ duh_," Fern said, rolling her eyes in annoyance. "But that's not exactly a question you hear every day. But," she paused, letting out an exasperated sigh, "if you really _must_ know…" her voice trailed off then, stalling.

He shot her an irritated look, fed up with her evading the question.

Her smirk changed suddenly into a wide smile. "...Yes, yes I am," she finished, sounding oddly cheerful about her answer.

He stared at her strangely for a moment, seemingly a bit surprised. That only lasted a moment though before he shrugged it off and looked away, his eyes trained on the runners in front of him.

Fern snickered at his response. "What, not the answer you were expecting?"

"No," he answered nonchalantly. "But you never know."

She eyed him for a moment, waiting for him to say something more. He didn't. Exasperated with his lack of response, Fern bit back an irritated insult and instead let out a long, deep sigh. "God, are you _weird,_" she muttered under her breath.

He smirked. "Like _you're _one to complain, Blondie."

"Urgh!" she exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the air. "Stop calling me that!"

"Why?" he asked, eyeing her curiously. "It's fitting."

"Yeah, but it's not my _name_," she huffed.

His eyes shot over to her, drooping slightly but wider and more interested than usual. "…You never told me your name."

She blinked. She hadn't? Quickly, she ran through her memories of their conversations, skimming each line and examining each word….but never once did the subject of names come up. "You never asked," Fern retorted.

He shrugged.

"…Well?" she asked, eyeing him expectantly.

"What?"

"Aren't you going to ask?"

A small smirk curled up the corners of his lips. "Mmm…nah."

"_What_?" she cried. She frowned. "Why not?"

His smirk grew wider. She watched with a crease in her brow as he dropped his skateboard onto the ground in front of him, swiftly jumped onto it and began to ride away from her. He turned to look over his shoulder at her, his teal eyes sending her a challenging look. Her eyes narrowed at the growing smirk on his lips.

"Because it doesn't matter what your name is. Blondie's obviously the best name for a dumb blonde like you," he called back over his shoulder.

And then he turned and sped off into the crowd.

Gone.

Just like that.

Fern blinked once, then twice, and then scowled. Dumb? He'd called her dumb? "I am going to bitch-slap the daylights out of that bastard…" she growled. She attempted to follow after him, but a large, muscular man running in front of her formed an annoying wall in front of her. Fern tried to keep her eyes on the white-haired boy so as not to lose him in the crowd, but the man was tall and wide, and she just couldn't see past him. By the time she had found her way around him, the white-haired boy was already out of sight.

Fern's cheeks puffed out in frustration. _Jerk, _she thought to herself, _ I'm not- I'm not- I'm not…_

"I'm not freaking dumb," Fern muttered to herself.

Bystanders might have observed the mood-swinging, possibly unstable girl, and said she was pouting. Fern herself would have vehemently argued that they were wrong, and that she was…dealing with it maturely.

She just hated being called dumb.

And Blondie.

_Ugh. _

She hated that name even more.

**. . .**

**A/N:** So, how was it? Too boring for you? A waste of your time? Well, unfortunately for you nut-cakes, I don't give refunds, but I do ask for fanart. Instead of pondering how fair that is, how about you review instead? And answer a question too, if you are the nice, generous, kind, lovely, beautiful person I think you are (yes, because flattery gets you everywhere).

**Questions of the chapter:** _Do you like Fern's nickname (Blondie)? Would you hate her in real life?(Let's be honest here. I would hate her more than I hate pecan nuts, and that's saying a lot. By the way, pecans taste like paint.) Do you like the use of metaphors? Do you feel bad for Nicole?_

Review! Wait, why am I telling you that? You readers all nice, and lovely, and enthusiastic ,and beautiful and gorgeous, and amazing, and awesome, so of course you would review without me having to tell you! Riiiiiight~?

-Cookie Krisp


	5. Tompa's AntiWrinkle Cream Scheme

A/N: Hey, people, I bet you guys are just loving the return to school. I totally am too. Not. Ugh, school is going to murder me. But hey, reviews might keep me alive. They are like food. If you keep feeding me them, I'll keep updating, and maybe I won't die…Sounds like a good plan, right?

**Disclaimer: Hunter x Hunter belongs to Yoshihiro Togashi. And my name is not Togashi. There is no 'Yoshihiro' in the name Cookie Krisp either, and therefore I do not own this show (sadly). I do own Fern though. And Bea. Unfortunately, they will not earn me any money, despite the fact that Fern likes to steal. **

Summary of last chapter:_ Fern talked to Gon, Kurapika, and Leorio. She learned Kurapika was a boy. She noticed Satotsu has no mouth. Everyone started running. The fat nerd, Nicole, got bashed. Fern turned yandere. Killua ditched Fern after calling her dumb. Life is boring. Killua is awesome. _

**Note:** **Bea is an OC. **Just saying. You know, I've got to save the brains of you guys who love speculating this stuff.

**Chapter 4:** **Tompa's Anti-Wrinkle Cream Scheme**

"This exam is _so_ boring! We've been running for _hours_ in a stupid, dark tunnel, so there's not even any change in the scenery! Plus, all the candidates are getting sweaty, and it's starting to smell bad, and oh my gosh, it's _so_ gross! And, to top it off, there's this really, really annoying kid with a skateboard and white hair that keeps bothering me! He calls me Blondie even though I told him not to, and it's so annoying! This exam sucks! The only good thing is that if I pass I'll be getting some money out of it! But other than that, it is completely and totally—"

"Fern."

"—pointless! It's a total waste of effort too. I mean, it's not like it's hard for me to run this long, but it _is _hard to be around big, ugly men who smell like a freaking mutt urinated all over them! And—"

"_Fern_."

"—most of the people here look so retarded and lame it's not even funny! Seriously, there's like this crazy, psycho killer dude dressed as a jester with gravity-defying blue hair, and this other really creepy dude with needles in his face. He looks _just like_ Frankenstein, I swear! He's got—"

"_**FERN!"**_

"…Yes?"

"Shut up."

She pouted. "But Akullaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" Fern whined into the phone. "I'm _so_ bored!"

"It's not my job to keep you interested. Go entertain yourself," he answered dismissively.

"_How?_"

She heard him sigh. "Go talk to some other candidates. Lie to them. Kick them. Hypnotize them. Steal their underwear. Make them give you cookies. I don't know. Just—just go do something."

"Why can't I talk to _you_?" she asked, her voice a high-pitched whine.

"Fern," –another sigh—" Just-just…."

"Just what?" she asked, pouting miserably. Why did he have to be such a dang spoil sport?

He groaned. "Go bother someone else."

And then he hung up.

Fern stared at the silent phone for a moment, and then furrowed her brow, sighed loudly and stuffed the mechanism back into her vest pocket. "Stupid Akulla," she grumbled to herself. "Why does he have to be such a god damn party pooper?" She glanced down at the floor, scowling. "I mean, I'm his older sister. Can't he can at least _try_ to talk to m—"

Her head snapped up and her face instantly brightened.

"Kurapika-san!"

The blonde-haired boy glanced up in time to see the tiny blue-eyed little girl quickly bounded across the tunnel towards him. His eyes widened slightly. "Leaf?"

A wide smile broke out across her lips. "Hi!" she exclaimed cheerfully, jogging up to his side to run next to him.

"Hello…" Kurapika responded warily.

She glanced around her, her blue eyes scanning the crowd around them. Where were the rest of his friends? Unable to find them, she blinked in slight confusion and looked back at Kurapika curiously. "Where are the others?" she asked, puzzled. "Aren't they your friends?"

"Well, yes, but…" He sighed quietly and shook his head. "They can get to be a bit of a handful sometimes…I have to take breaks or else my mind gets a bit overwhelmed."

Fern nearly snorted thinking of Gon and his over-gullibility and Leorio and his…idiotic-ness. "I can imagine that," she replied, trying to hide her inner-devil that was cackling in excitement at the thought of an overwhelmed Kurapika struggling to control a hyper Gon and a hot-tempered Leorio.

"Yes, they're a bit…eccentric," Kurapika said. His blue eyes flickered over to her for a second before a small smile came upon his own lips. "But they're good people," he conceded.

"Just a bit odd," she added playfully.

He nodded, chuckling slightly. "Just a bit odd."

_A bit?_ Fern fought the urge to roll her eyes. _Yeah, right. If a bit is a lot, then yeah. But otherwise? Uhhh—I don't think so. _

Thankfully, that thought stayed inside Fern's head.

**. . .**

She ran with Kurapika after that, filling her time with light and friendly chitter-chatter going back and forth between her and the blonde boy. Although Fern was generally not known for socializing with strangers (especially ones she might have to compete against later), she welcomed the company for once. It relieved her of the stifling boredom she'd been subjected to while running alone, and for that, she was eternally grateful. If there was one thing Fern could not survive, it was boredom. She could take blizzards, she could take deserts, she could take starvation…hey, she could even take extreme poverty! (She would know. She _lived_ in it!)

…But…

She couldn't take boredom.

After a while of running with him, Fern found that she actually, genuinely, god-forsaking-_truly_ liked the boy's company. And that was saying a lot, seeing as most of the people Fern liked were only liked because a) she was acting, b) they had money, or c) they held some kind of potential for her to use to her advantage in the future. But this boy, she was not using him. She liked him simply because she….well…she liked him. He was calm, he was soothing, and he was fairly intelligent as well. That made him good for engaging in intriguing conversations about various topics such as world politics, geologic processes, government issues, and the current world economy. Those were subjects that she rarely had the opportunity to talk about with someone—other than Akulla—with. They bantered back and forth for a while on the subject of whether or not hunters played a significant role in the country's economy, before later switching to discussing the theory of plate tectonics, earthquakes, and what the shifting plates would mean in the future.

Kurapika was one smart cookie. She'd give him that much.

She blinked, her eyes widening slightly. "Hey, Kurapika-san," she said. Fern pointed at the tall, but slumped over figure farther up in the crowd. "Isn't that Leorio-san over there?"

His gaze followed her finger to gaze upon the spot she was pointing at. Kurapika's eyebrows rose slightly. "It is," he confirmed. He turned to Fern, asking, "Shall we head over there?"

Fern nodded and the two picked up their pace slightly to reach the man's side.

"Glad to see you again, Leorio-san!" Fern chimed, grinning at the older man cheerfully.

"Wha?" Leorio squawked in surprise. His eyes snapped over to Fern and he visibly relaxed. "Oh," he grunted through heavy breaths. "It's just you."

Fern smiled, but on the inside, she was thinking, calculating, and thoroughly analyzing the man in front of her. He wasn't doing so well—that much was obvious from the way his legs dragged against the floor, his shoulders hunched forward, and his sweat-drenched face was scrunched in effort. His breaths were short and shallow, gasping for air, and she could see from the dilation of his pupils that he was becoming a bit light-headed from the overexertion. Her eyes narrowed slightly.

_He's not going to make it much longer. _

"Leorio," Kurapika greeted with a nod.

Fern glanced at Kurapika, and instantly she knew what was on his mind. She could tell by the serious expression on his face that he also knew his tall, suitcase-bearing friend was on his way out.

Nevertheless, she beamed at the two as if nothing was wrong. Because nothing_ was_ wrong. Everything was alright. Well-for her, anyways, and generally, that was all Fern really cared about. "So," she began amiably. "Anything exciting happen yet?"

"_Exciting_?" Leorio shrilled in disbelief. "This running stuff is already enough for me for the next thousand years!"

"Well, it _is_ a bit tiring," she conceded, shrugging. That was a lie, though, and it was pretty obvious, seeing as all someone would have to do would be look at her forehead, and then realize there wasn't a drop of sweat on it.

Which was to be expected, with the amount of physical activity she had to do on a daily basis. There was stealing, gathering wood, catching fish, hunting, cleaning, running around the dump, training with Akulla  
>(who insisted it was necessary)…and lots more. Fern was certainly no couch potato.<p>

…She didn't exactly have a couch to be a potato _on. _

Leorio stumbled and came to a stop, unable to move any longer. His breathing was harsh and he was bent over his knee, struggling to catch his breath. Fern could see the way his body trembled and shook and the way it shuddered with each movement the male made.

Still gasping, but slightly quieter, Leorio lifted his head and stared at Fern. "A _bit _tiring? This is what you call _a bit_?_"_ he shrieked breathily. "I've never ran this far in my life!" He growled and lifted an arm to swipe a bead of sweat away from his chin. "How come no one's given up yet?" He scowled and turned his gaze to Kurapika. "Why are you not tired?"

Kurapika was about to open his mouth and reply (probably to explain the functions of the human body and muscular strength and endurance or something science-related like that, Fern guessed), but he was quickly cut off by Leorio as he ripped his gaze from Kurapika and pinned it onto to her.

"And you!" Leorio cried, jabbing his index finger at her.

She blinked, surprised. "Me?" she asked, pointing a finger towards herself.

He panted heavily, but swallowed. "Yes, you!" He glared at her slightly in frustration and incomprehension. "Why are you not even sweating?"

"Um…." She paused for a second and stumbled with her words, momentarily stumped for an answer. "I…am young and have lots of….youthful energy…?" she said unsurely. Fern brightened up suddenly and flashed a confident smile at the sweating man. "But I'm sure Gon-san isn't having any trouble either," she assured strongly.

Fern didn't quite know that as a fact, but it was an educated guess, and that was enough for her. The black-haired boy had seemed extremely athletic and coordinated to her. She could see it. It was the way he moved silently, unnoticed, with a trained, sharp eye and a talent for stealth. It was the way he followed his intuition and somehow, unknowingly managed to emit a comforting, cheerful aura that attracted people to him right and left, like a savage bear to a comb of sweet honey. It was the way he looked, the way he acted, the way he talked…everything about him…

…He just felt like a…like a…

_Hunter. _

"Hey, Leorio!"

Fern, Kurapika and Leorio turned to the sound to the voice. A small, black haired boy with a fishing rod and green hiking boots came running in the opposite direction of the crowd towards them, his hand waving high in the air and his face lit up with delight.

"Gon!" Kurapika and Leorio cried out in unison.

Fern just smiled, though behind that façade a smirk flourished. _Speak of the Devil, and the Devil appears….Though, kids with fishing rods and kind of dense-looking grins aren't exactly what I'd call a devil. _

Gon paused as he reached the group and stood next to a still bent over and sweating Leorio. "Are you okay?" he asked, his face twisted in concern.

It was about then that Fern noticed exactly how far behind they were getting from the crowd. She could barely see the outlines of the last line of people before they disappeared into the darkness of the tunnel a moment later. Quiet, muffled, and far away were the echoes of footsteps—so far-away were the shoes hitting the ground that even Fern's highly sensitive ears could barely pick them up. That wasn't good at all…

"Hey!"

_That voice…! _Fern's head snapped up. Her eyes widened at the sight of the irritating white-haired boy standing in front of them with his trademark skateboard under his arm. His face was a mix of his usual bored expression and a touch of confusion and disapproval hidden beneath the edges.

_I was wrong, _Fern thought to herself in dismay. _Here comes the _real_ devil. _"Greetings, Ditcher," Fern greeted dryly.

He turned his head slightly, as if just noticing her. "Oh, it's you, Blondie," he droned uninterestedly.

Fern suppressed a growl. _Something about this kid's face just makes me want to punch him. _ "My name is not Blondie!" she protested loudly.

"Could you stop yelling in my ear? You're blasting out my ear drums, _Blondie_."

It was about then that Gon blinked, and glanced between the mysterious white-haired boy and the constantly mood-swinging, temperamental, but seemingly nice blonde girl. He watched with interest as 'Leaf' yelled insults and demands at the boy, who just eyed her uninterestedly and shrugged them off. It was a strange interaction, with the effort awfully one-sided.

"Call me Blondie one more time, and I swear I will rip your—

"Um…." Gon intercepted.

Both of them turned towards him, the blonde girl looking slightly irritating but curious, and the white-haired boy just looking…like he always does. Cool, nonchalant, bored…but still, slightly curious underneath it all.

Gon smiled as he got their attention. "You two know each other already?"

Fern blinked in surprise, her anger immediately forgotten. "Wait…" She pointed at Gon, and then at Killua, and a confused frown drew the edges of her eyebrows together. "You met?" she asked.

Gon nodded.

Fern froze, caught between the emotions of horror and extreme irritation. _No! _her thoughts screamed in her head. _ That means they're probably friends, which means I'll have to hang around Mr. White-Head here if I want to ally with these guys!_

Finally, she dropped her head in defeat, covering her face with her hand and let out a loud, exasperated moan. _This-_

Her eyes flickered towards the white-haired boy, and she resisted the urge to cringe at the sight of him.

_Sucks. Like, big time. _

Leorio let out a pained grunt as he slowly pulled himself off his knees and onto his feet. Fern glanced over at him and watched with doubtful eyes as he stood on wobbly, unstable legs and attempted to start running again. She resisted the urge to sigh. Sure, his determination was admirable, but…it didn't really matter anymore. He wasn't strong enough, and in the end, only the toughest come out on top. Survival of the fittest. That was the law by which all animals—even humans—abided to. And therefore, this male here was not going to make it. No matter how hard he tried he would have to give up. Because to the law of survival of the fittest…

There were no exceptions.

"Well, now that introductions are over," Leorio panted heavily. He began to pick up a slow pace, his feet dragging against the floor and his face strained with effort. "We've gotta…keep…..moving…..ugh!" He collapsed onto his knees, unable to go on any further.

"Leorio!" Gon and Kurapika cried in unison, bending down to Leorio's level and staring at him worriedly.

Fern just frowned.

"…Are you guys stupid?" the white-haired boy asked.

Fern said nothing. She knew what that question had meant. He wasn't just asking if they were dumb. He was asking why they were staying behind to help someone who wouldn't make it with or without their help anyways. He was asking why they were so stupid as to sacrifice their chances of passing the exam for someone who was going to fail anyways. Fern knew what he was asking—oh, she understood him perfectly.

Because she was thinking it too.

But Gon just looked up at the boy, blinking curiously. "What do you mean?" he asked, ever the most clueless.

"He's finished," the white-haired boy said.

"That's not true!" Gon protested. His eyes flickered back to Leorio. "And anyways," he added, his tone softer, "I can't just leave him. He's a friend."

"Friend?" the white-haired boy echoed, his eyes widening slightly.

_Why does he look so surprised at the word friend? _Fern gave him an odd look. _….Weirdo. _

Gon nodded. "Yeah. Friend." He turned to Fern. "Right, Leaf?"

She blinked in surprise, a slight unease building up in her chest as she felt the many pairs of eyes on her. She shifted her gaze nervously, and then let out a long, loud sigh. She glanced at the boys, regret and guilt painting beautifully all over her face. "Sorry," she apologized uneasily, "but I agree with Mr. White-hair here." She glanced sympathetically at Leorio. "He's….probably not going to make it."

Gon frowned deeper and opened his mouth to protest further, but was interrupted before he could even get one word out.

"Hey, you two!"

Fern turned just in time to see a familiar box-nosed, fat man come running towards them. She resisted the urge to slap her face and let out another groan when she realized who it was.

_Tompa, _she moaned in her mind. She grimaced. _Mr. Fugly-Ugly-Box-Nose. _Her eyes scanned over the many people that had straggled behind the crowd to gather around Leorio. _What is this, a party? _

Leorio's head snapped up and he let out a frustrated, but determined growl as he began to move again. "I'm not…" he paused, panting, "gonna.." -more pants-_"_lose here." A bead of sweat rolled down his cheek and he reached up with the back of knuckles to swipe it before it hit the ground. "I'm gonna…" He started to jog, but his body swayed and his feet dragged on the floor. "I'm gonna…" He gulped."I'm gonna pass no matter what!" Leorio exclaimed suddenly and began to sprint.

"H-hey!" Fern cried, her thin arm reaching out to grab the back of his shirt, but falling short when he passed by her a moment later. Shock flittered momentarily across her face. _How can he…_

She watched and winced as Leorio nearly fell face-first onto the ground, but kept running anyway. His legs trembled, his eyes were blurred, and his breathing was heavy. He was on the verge of passing out—that much she could tell. And yet, even with all that strain, all that exhaustion he was-he was….

Fern suppressed a shudder.

_How can he still _move_?_

Meanwhile, Tompa stepped in front of Leorio, standing in the middle of the stumbling man's path, concern etched onto his round face. "Hey, maybe you should take it easy-

"Out of my way!" Leorio yelled, shoving Tompa roughly to the side and continuing on his way. "I don't care what it takes! I'm gonna…I'm gonna…" His voice began weaker and weaker as his legs began to slow and his knees began to give out. He stumbled one last time before he stopped completely, bent over his legs with his hands on his bent knees and his head down, chest heaving in and out and eyes squeezed shut with effort. "I'm gonna…become a hunter…" he wheezed out. "No matter…what…"

Fern cringed as she watched him fall to the ground. Her blue eyes instinctively averted, finding herself unable to watch any longer. _This guy…_she thought to herself solemnly_…he's kind of…pitiful. _

Like a kicked puppy.

…Fern had a soft-spot for those.

"Shit…" Leorio swore through gasps of air. "My legs won't move."

Fern inhaled deeply through her nose in preparation to let out a long, stressed sigh. She stiffened as the air entered her and a too-sweet smell wafted around. Her nose crinkled. _Ugh…what the hell is that smell? It smells like someone crapped sugar and honey all over an already overly frosted cupcake. It's so sweet, it's nasty—_

She froze suddenly. _Wait…sweet_? Her eyes snapping open wide with surprise, and she sniffed the air slightly.. _That smell—it's...!_ She glanced all around her, searching for the source the smell was drifting from.

The voices of Kurapika, Leorio, Gon, and Tompa behind her barely registered in her mind as she became solely focused on the interesting aroma that was wafting through the air. She could feel the white-haired boy's gaze on the back of her head, but she ignored it. She vaguely recognized that Leorio was yelling something about money, and Kurapika was scolding him about something, but for the most part their voices had faded into the background, taken over by her thoughts.

Searching for the origin of the smell, she scanned the room slowly with her eyes until they froze on the separate tunnel that branched away from the main one they were in now. Fern eyed it for a second, her blue eyes narrowing with suspicion. Frowning, she sniffed the air once more through her nose, and then crinkled it when the sweet, honey-like aroma bombarded her senses…

"…That… must be it!" Tompa exclaimed, his voice muffled by her train of thought. "That smell, it's-

_This smell is definitely—_

"Healing cedar sap!"

-_Delusion cedar sap!_

Her eyes widened and her head snapped around to stare at Tompa as she realized the words that had come of out his mouth. "H-healing cedar sap?" she stuttered, her voice a cross between shocked, incredulous, and downright skeptical. _…What. The. Hell?_

"Yeah," Tompa confirmed, nodding confidently. "I knew something was familiar about this smell." His voice was strong and undoubting, but his eyes-she could see in his _eyes _ that there was something there…something that was wary of her for questioning him, something that was slightly uneasy, something that completely and utterly just wreaked of…

Her eyes narrowed.

…_Lies._

Internally, she scoffed. _What an idiot,_ Fern thought to herself, inwardly rolling her eyes. _What kind of fool makes up a lie about a cedar sap that doesn't even exist? I mean, what the hell? Healing cedar sap? Seriously? _She resisted the urge to scowl. _What is _that_ supposed to be? Some new, rip-off, anti-wrinkle cream?_

She glared silently at the back of Tompa's head as he swung Leorio's arm over his shoulder and helped the man walk, speaking false reassurances and promises of the "positive effects" of the sap that didn't exist. Her arms folded over her chest, and her eyes were frigid as she shot daggers at Tompa's head, seething and ranting on inside. _What kind of idiot does he take us for—or at least, take ME for—if he actually thinks I'm going to fall for this?The sheer idiocy of this scheme is astounding .He's..he's..He's making a fool out of us! _

_..Or them. Yeah, them. Not me. _She shook her head._ Them. _

Right.

She watched with sharp eyes as Tompa lead the unsuspecting Leorio off into the darkness of the dangerous right-forked tunnel. Fern wanted to say something, she really did, but the fact was that she _couldn't_.

That is, not if she didn't want them to know her true background.

After all, normal twelve-year old girls didn't know that much about poison. Well, neither did they take the hunter exam, befriend a total group of strangers, and run for several hours without breaking a sweat either, but the point was that identifying rare poisons by smell could raise questions she shouldn't—couldn't—no, _wouldn't _answer.

Because answering them would endanger not only her, but also Akulla and Bea. And Bea—the old woman couldn't handle that. She was old and withering—not to mention_ blind_, and Fern just couldn't put that kind of stress on Bea just for her own selfish reasons. Fern knew she could be a frigid, insensitive bitch at times, but that didn't mean she didn't care about _some_ things.

So, instead of telling them about the poison, she merely turned to Gon and Kurapika and asked, "You're just going to let Tompa take him?"

"…I don't know…" Gon said unsurely. "I think…" He glanced at Kurapika out of the corner of his eye, before something in him seemed to harden and he looked back towards Fern with a determined look on his face. "I'm going to follow them." His eyes flickered between the white-haired boy and Fern. "Sorry I made you guys stay too. You can go ahead."

The white-haired boy blinked in surprise. "You're not coming?"

He smiled slightly. "Well, Tompa-san said what he said, but even so, I'm worried."

Kurapika nodded at Gon. "Let's go together."

"But what if it's a trap?" Fern protested loudly. _Dorks, _she thought to herself. _Are you really going to walk straight into this? Was I really planning on allying myself with such idiots? _ She frowned deeply. "If it's a trap, then you'll all get stuck in it, and then you'll.. all…fail…."she trailed off when she realized Gon wasn't listening. "Hey!" she snapped, but he was already jogging towards the right tunnel with Kurapika trailing closely after.

She sighed exasperatedly and let out a loud groan, tired of the futility of it all. _Why am I even trying? _she wondered to herself._ Gon isn't going to change his mind anyway._

Fern may have only known Gon for a couple hours, but if she knew one thing about that black-haired kid, it was that he was stubborn. When Gon set his mind on something, nothing could stop him. Probably not even a stampede of mutated bull beasts on the biggest monster truck in the world would be enough to stop him.

She shook her head in exasperation one last time before turning to fix Killua with a look of equal irritation. "What, are you going too?" she asked dully. _Please tell me you're not. Actually, tell me you are. Then I won't have to deal with this sort of foolish, naive…idiocy. _

He turned and gazed silently at the dark corridor the two had disappeared into, his eyes glazed over in thought. "….Maybe," he finally said. He glanced at her curiously. "Are you?"

Fern thought about it. She wanted to go, wanted to really, really badly. Why? Well, that was something she wasn't quite sure of at the moment. It was just a gut feeling, and usually Fern trusted her gut, because a lot of times, she had to admit that it was right. But following them seemed like such a dumb thing to do.

Was she sick or something today? Fern wrinkled her nose. _I shouldn't even have to think about this. Hell, I shouldn't even be considering it ._

But the fact stood that…

She was.

So, Fern's gut was malfunctioning and telling her she should go. On the other hand, her brain was screaming all the cons at her. If she made a mistake and breathed too much gas in or let the aroma weed its way into her mind, then she'd be a goner. Then the money she hoped to get from the hunter license would go bye-bye. Well, bye-bye to her sanity and life as well, but in Fern's mind, money always came first. Money, money, money, because with money, you could do everything.

Because maybe…maybe…maybe if she had more money then ….

Maybe she could find a cure for Bea's blindness. Maybe she bring better food to Akulla, who—although he never complained—seemed like he was actually used to much richer foods. Maybe if she had money then she wouldn't have to live in a trash dump, wouldn't have to sneak around and go on raids, wouldn't have to suffer through the shunning, and disapproving glances, and whispers she often received from the rich city-dwellers when she first entered the city in her dirty gray dress, bare feet, and fraying vest.

Money…._Doesn't Leorio want money too? _Fern thought about what he'd said to Kurapika before, when she hadn't particularly been listening…Hadn't he mentioned it all being for money? Yes, yes he had…He wanted money…

Just like her.

And Fern…okay, let's be honest here. Fern liked herself a lot. Therefore, people who shared similarities with the narcissist blonde girl….tended to earn her favor very, _very _quickly.

Fern found a small smile playing on her lips as she eyed the dark, dangerous, poison-ridden tunnel with a spark of interest in her eyes.

…Maybe Leorio and she weren't so different after all.

"I'm going," Fern finally declared.

The white-haired boy stared at her for a moment, watching her with those mysterious teal eyes…and then a smirk drew the corners of his mouth up, and he dropped his skateboard on the ground, sticking one foot on top and rolling it slowly against the ground. "I guess I'll go too then," he said.

He glanced at Fern and a glint of mischief flashed in his eyes. "Blondie, whenever you and Gon are involved, the game always gets a lot more interesting."

_Oh, so Gon gets a name and I don't?_ Fern huffed. _I bet it's because I'm a girl. Sexist pig._

"Whatever. I'm going." The boy turned and sped away on his skateboard, leaving Fern behind to chase after him for the second time in one day.

Fern made a face as she sprinted to catch up. _Hell no, that white-haired brat is_ not_ ditching me again. _"Uh, could you wait like a_ second_?" Fern asked, annoyed. "Someone is trying to catch up here!"

"Really?" He didn't seem to care. "The only thing I hear is an annoying bug buzzing in my ear."

"Oh great, so my status went from annoying girl, to Blondie, to BUG?" Fern cried as she ran after him. She sighed dramatically. "You know, I hate you so much. Boys are just…ugh. So annoying. " She shook her head to herself. "If you were a girl, you'd understand."

The boy's gaze flickered momentarily over to her. "Huh? Did you say something?" he asked aloofly.

Fern groaned and slapped her forehead. "Can I murder you?"

"I don't know. Can you?" He turned and smirked at her, gesturing with his finger to come over. "Want to try?"

Fern just rolled her eyes. "And get your nasty blood all over me? Uh—I'd rather not."

The boy shrugged and shoved his hand back in his pocket. "Your loss, Blondie."

"Keep that dumb blonde thing up and it'll be _your_ loss…." She smirked. "…_Whitey."_

The kid almost fell off his skateboard. "_W-whitey_?" he stuttered, his face twisting in a mix between shock and disgust. He pointed a finger at himself and gagged in disbelief. "Do I look like a _Whitey_ to you?"

Fern grinned triumphantly. _Ha, serves him right, _she thought to herself smugly_. _"Only if I look like a Blondie to you."

"But you _do_," he drawled, sounding almost as though he was whining.

"Fine then, Whitey," Fern sniffed. "Have it your way. I'll be Blondie, and you'll be Whitey, since apparently hair-color is the way we name people around here." Sarcasm bit at her words.

"Whitey does not fit me_ at all_," the boy insisted. He still seemed a bit in shock. "Don't you think I should get a cooler name, like…Chocolate or something?"

It was Fern's turn to ignore him. She just stared at the wall as she ran, with her face contorted in disbelief, and wondered to herself skeptically…

_Why do I always get all the _weirdos?

**. . .**

A/N: Sorry if the chapter is too short. Originally, both this chapter and chapter 3 were one chapter, but I decided they were too long and cut them in half. Be thankful. I spared your eyesight. Maybe you'll go blind one day later than if I had made it one chapter. Wow, I am so nice, aren't I? Don't you think I deserve a lot of reviews, just for that?

_Question of the chapter:_ _If you were Fern, what would you do? _Honestly. Like, no goody-goody, 'oh I'm a Mary-sue/angel/Gary stu/lying delusional bitches' that think they would take Leorio and fly him to the end of the tunnel using awesome angel wings. None of that, puh-_lease_. Let's be realistic here. I don't want to be arrested for making people go insane.

Oh yeah, if you want to know what Fern looks like, there a bunch of pictures on my profile. A picture from my sister (Cursed Bunny), some fanart from my lovely reviewer Miki, and some drawn by me. I swear they won't traumatize you. Really. They won't…maybe.

If they do, I am not paying your insurance company.

On the other hand, if you would like to add to that collection of drawings of Fern, I would love it if you did…Or you could draw Akulla (your own impression since I haven't exactly described him yet) or Bea (again, your own inmpression)…That would just be so darling of you guys~

And you can make me even happier by reviewing too.

-Cookie Krisp


	6. Shitake Mushrooms are a Blast

**A/N:** Hey, sorry for the big gap in updates. Just me being lazy….Well, you know what they say. "Don't procrastinate on procrastination!" Of course, that saying does not apply to reviews. Never procrastinate on reviews. Or, at least, on _my _reviews anyway.

**Disclaimer: Hunter x Hunter belongs to Yoshihiro Togashi. Fern is mine.**

**Summary: **Fern is a twelve-year old pick-pocketer from Meteor City. After being tricked into it by Akulla, her friend, she enters the Hunter Exam, where she allies with Killua, Gon, Kurapika, and Leorio. When Leorio collapses from exhaustion in the first exam, and Tompa proposes the Healing Cedar Sap tunnel pathway, Fern ponders for a while before following after the group with Killua…who she calls Whitey, since he is a jerk and refuses to tell her his name.

. . .

**Chapter 5: Shitake Mushrooms Are a Blast**

"Slow _down_," Fern groaned as she struggled to keep up with the pace of Whitey's skateboard.

"What, too fast for you, Blondie?" he taunted.

She rolled her eyes at his mocking behavior. "No, it's just anno—

Her eyes widened in surprise, before narrowing. A smirk lifted the corners of her lips into a devilish smile. "Oh, look," she muttered in a low voice, knowing Whitey could hear her. "Here comes the lying, deceiving pig with a box-nose—whoops!" She giggled darkly under her breath. "I meant to say Tompa."

The white-haired boy stayed silent, but she could see the amused smirk playing on his lips. Just as Fern was about to catch up to him, the boy suddenly pushed off the ground like a rocket, speeding down the tunnel towards Tompa so fast she barely had time to react before she realized he was moving.

"Hey!" she cried, startled. Fern stopped jogging for a second to glare at his receding back. "Jerk," she muttered sourly before she took off running down the tunnel after him.

As she got closer, she realized he wasn't moving anymore. And also, there was another figure behind him—one that she'd seen before—Tompa. He seemed to be saying something to him, but she couldn't make out any of the words until she came a little closer.

When she finally arrived behind the white-haired boy though, it seemed he was already done talking. Tompa came stumbling past her, face white as a sheet and feet tripping over one another clumsily. She blinked as he staggered past her, surprised. Her eyes remained trailed on him until he disappeared into the darkness of the tunnel, and then she turned back to Killua.

"Dude," she said, raising a skeptical eyebrow. 'What the hell did you_ say_ to that guy?" There was an amused laugh bubbling beneath her voice.

He turned around to face her with a smirk on his face. "Not much," he replied with a shrug.

"_Sure_," Fern drawled sarcastically. She rolled her eyes and placed her hands on her thin hips. "I _totally_ believe you."

"I'm not surprised, Blondie."

Before she had time to demand what the hell_ that_ was supposed to mean, the white haired boy was back on his skateboard, riding down the dark tunnel, and Fern was left to –once again—chase after his back.

"Yaaaay, _more_ running," she cheered sarcastically, staring at the ceiling in exasperation. "When is this going to be over?"

. . .

Fern immediately stopped breathing through her nose (and switched to her mouth, because, well, she didn't want to suffocate, obviously) as the two came closer and closer to the origin of the aroma. The smell was strong now—so sweet it was almost repulsive. No. It _was _repulsive.

With every breath she took, it burned her nose like acid seeping down her throat. The air that circulated around her had taken on a sort of misty lavender hue to it, the fog thick and heavy with the gaseous poisons of the Delusion Cedar Sap (or, if you wanted to be Gon or Kurapika and become incredibly naïve, Healing Sugar Sap or Healing Maple Syrup Crap or whatever the hell that box-nosed dork had called it.)

She resisted the urge to gag as she followed Whitey further into the purple plume of toxic haze. Her hand reached up to cover her nose and mouth. _This smell is_ terrible_! _she cried in her mind. Her vision blurred as her eyes began to tear from the mist irritating them. _What kind of idiot would believe Tompa if he says something that smells like _this_ could actually be good for you?_ Her toe jammed into the floor and she stumbled as a wave of nausea swept through her mind.

"Don't puke on me, Blondie," Whitey bluntly stated, distancing him further from her.

_Oh, forget Leorio being an idiot, _Fern thought to herself, peeved. _This guy is worse. He's so-_

"_No!"_

Fern's head snapped up at the cry that resounded through the tunnel, echoing off the walls with a hollow, eerie note of desperation. Previous irritation immediately forgotten, she narrowed her eyes in alarm and turned to the white-haired boy. "Was that..." she trailed off, knowing he knew what she was talking about. Even so, she nodded her head towards the origin of the sound, towards the shadows of the depths of the hallway and shrugged. "…them?"

Gon?

Kurapika?

The white haired boy's eyes never left the darkness of the corridor. Still, he spared a shrug at Fern before pushing off the ground and rolling down the tunnel at an even faster pace than before. For once, she swallowed her complaints and sprinted down the hall, her footfalls light, quick, and her slender legs stretched as long as they could go.

Fern winced slightly as another pleading yell ricocheted off the walls of the tunnel. It rang in her ears, like the sound of a broken bell screeching in the middle of a cold December night. A shiver ran down her spine.

She hoped the sap hadn't affected them _too_ much yet.

"Kurapika- san!" Fern cried as she saw the blonde's familiar figure come into view in the distance, followed shortly by the silhouette of a certain stubborn, short, black-haired boy. "Gon-san!" She pushed her body to run even faster. Fern's run gradually slowed to a jog, to a walk, and then to a standstill as she came to stand beside them.

Her eyes widened as she took in the sight of Kurapika writhing in agony on the floor. Incoherent murmurs streamed from his mouth like murky water. Sometimes he would whisper quietly, the sound so hushed his words were nothing but whispered, silenced screams floating in the poisonous haze. Other times his body would freeze. Then jerk. Then all of a sudden he'd be shrieking and screeching this terrible noise that scratched her mind like her ears were the chalkboard and his screams the deadly fingernails squealing down the surface. _Damn, _she swore in her mind, struggling to drown out the sound of Kurapika's pitiful cries. _The poison's already got him. _

His screams halted.

The tunnel plunged into silence.

Kurapika lay limp. Still. Asleep? Unconcious?

_Dead? _

Taking a deep, shuddering breath, she kneeled down on the dusty ground and reached out. Her bony fingers curled around the blonde's shoulder, giving him a little shake. "Hey," Fern urged.

He did not respond.

She bit her lip. Frowning, she carefully rolled the boy over onto his back. It was like rolling a corpse—there was no resistance. Her eyes stared unblinkingly as the boy's head, covered by a mop of his blonde hair, flopped back to the ground, his cheek pressed against the cool floor.

A snake seemed to twist in her stomach, coiling around her insides and squeezing them tight. Her fingers reached out slowly, trembling, touching lightly to the soft skin of Kurapika's cheek. Cold. Sweaty. Slick. Her other hand drew forward and, slipping it beneath him to lay on his cheek, she peeled him off the floor and onto her lap.

_Check at his face. Check if he's okay. Check. Check. Check. _

She hesitated.

_Check. _

She did. Her eyes dropped down to the boy's head, but his face lay undercover beneath his blonde hair. His bangs, yellow and matted like little strips of finely cut paper glued across his forehead. She brushed them to the side gently, sweeping them like she would dusting off her stolen money. Then his eyebrows came into view, two yellow lines drawn together at the brow and held there, as if tied together by a rope of anguish.

She could not help but mentally cringe, dreading the moment when she would look at his face. Oh, _shit,_ his face—sure to be a goddamn horror masterpiece! She could practically already see it in her mind. She'd brush the rest of his bangs from his face and look down and—oh-my-freaking-god—it would be Kurapika's face, twisted and tormented and filled with absolute agony. And he'd struggle and twist and his brow would furrow even more, the nightmare induced by the sap still twisting memories in his mind.

Fern shook her head at herself. _Oh shut up,_ she told herself._ Stop being a wimp. _She didn't want to see Kurapika in such pain, hell she didn't want to see_ anyone_ in such pain (okay, so maybe that was a lie. Maybe she wanted to see Nicole in such pain but still. That is so beside the point). Even so, Fern couldn't just let the pathetic guy lie here forever just because she couldn't bring herself to look at his face.

It was stupid of her to be afraid of someone else's pain, and it was even stupider of her to not want to look at his face. Why? Well, because she knew she needed to see if his face if she wanted to see just how far gone he was. And that was very, very important.

Because depending on how far gone…

….She might not be able to bring him back.

_Okay, here goes_ _nothing. _She took a deep breath and slowly, ever so slowly so touched her fingertips to his forehead, swept the remainder of his sweaty bangs to the side. Then she looked down, her eyes slowly traveling down the length of his face.

His forehead. Then his eyebrows. Then his—

_Bah-bump._

Her heart stopped beating.

Frozen in shock, she stared. And stared. And _stared_ at the sight before her. She couldn't look away from him, couldn't breathe, couldn't think, could only be caught in a startled trance that was simply inescapable. And the same thought, over and over again, played in her head, not quite registering, just there, like background buzz of a record, scarping in the recesses of her blank mind. _His eyes, _she kept thinking, _his eyes, his eyes, his eyes—they—they're-_

She couldn't think it. But she could. It hurt, it thrust her head into a wild dizzying spin, it took her world, her truth, her everything and ripped it out of its casing, turned it upside down and twisted it inside out, but still the words popped up in her head, gaping and dripping the color of the letters, dripping red, dripping scarlet, dripping dripping dripping—_His eyes_—

Why were they…why were they…

Why were they _red?_

Her throat clogged up, her shoulders froze like a statue of ice. A trickle of frigid, arctic water dribbled down her throat, dripping onto her veins and freezing them over with a thick sheet of glacial ice. She felt like she was floating, mind disconnected from body. It was as though a hand had emerged from the center of boy's eyes, covered in blood and reaching, gripping, groping for her soul. Its fingers snagged her soul and thrust it right out of her chest with one strong rip. She did not protest. Did not resist. It was like her soul was being sucked into him—into his eyes.

And just like that, she was gone. Lost. Lost wading through those dark crimson pools of scarlet and blood and death and disaster and all that _stuff _that she didn't like to think about, that she couldn't remember but at the same time could, all that stuff that she tried desperately not to think about—to forgot—to wipe from her memories—to run away from and never look back, but somehow always found her and swallowed her a crimson wave of agony. She was lost in his eyes, lost in the memories that seemed to float around in them, lost in the scarlet red color. And the scariest thing was, that when she looked into his eyes, she didn't just see the bleeding of the rehashed scars of Kurapika's wounds. She saw herself. Her face. Cut. Bleeding. Wounded. Exposed.

She wanted to scream.

But her throat was too dry.

She couldn't move, she couldn't breathe—it was like she was frozen in time like a statue, or perhaps paralyzed, like a tree struck by lightning.

Fern was so much in a daze that she didn't even notice, nor react, as the white-haired boy came skating around the corner full-speed ahead. She didn't register a thing as he rolled towards Kurapika and her, delivered a swift kick to Kurapika's head, knocking him out of Fern's limp grasp and sending him sprawling across the concrete floor.

"Are you done daydreaming now?" Whitey's voice filtered into her conscious. It was muffled—his voice, was, that is—as though her ears were clogged with a tissue, or perhaps her head held underwater in a murky pond of thick, muddy water. "Let's go."

Fern blinked, and then suddenly it was all gone. She was no longer drowning in a pool of red, no longer stuck in a surreal otherworld—she was back in the tunnel again, with the repugnant smell burning her throat and Gon and Kurapika and—now Whitey all around her.

_What the hell…? _Her brow furrowed further in confusion. Her eyes, wide and colored a puzzled shade of baby blue, danced around the room, shifty and nervous, the way water droplets shift when another is nearby. Antsy, she felt. Unnnerved. Her soul had been ripped out of her and then hastily shoved back in, perhaps in the wrong spot, she perused, perhaps upside down. After all, it felt like something had shifted. Inside of her? Outside of her? Both?

_What was that all about?_ She tried to remember what had happened, the images, the scenes, whatever had been going on in her head, but whenever she tried to think about it, the images seemed to slip from her mind like butter through soapy fingers, and the only thing that popped up in her mind was a vivid image of darkness. Then a closed eye. She'd stare and stare and stare. And then the eye would snap open.

_Scarlet._

She jumped, startled. Fern glanced around her wildly, but she was again in the hallway, no longer in the darkness of her mind. She swallowed the lump in her throat, her eyes drifting down to lay uneasily on the palms of her clammy hands. Her heart felt as though it was going to break through her ribcage, thrumming around rapidly and crazily, like a desperate bird stubbornly head-butting a glass window over and over again. THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP.

But, glancing down at her hands, she realized they were empty. Nothing there. Nothing but skin and lines and oh-those lines—if she turned her head to the side and twisted the lines around a bit—how so similar they looked—kind of like an eye—Kurapika's eyes—_kind of like my eyes_—oh my the similarities—why-why-what's going on—red—I see red—whywherewhenwhatw_hywhywhywhywhy_-

_Quit it. _

Taking a deep breath, she shook her head to dislodge the images. But her mind only spun more, twirled round and round in circles faster than the globe on its stupid, tilted axis. Bewildered and disoriented, her eyes mirrored the motions of her mind, panning the room until they landed on Kurapika.

She watched him slowly struggle to his feet. He climbed slowly, his eyes closed and his face overwhelmed with exhaustion. Kurapika seemed to sag almost, his shoulders heavy with a weight not there before, sweat dribbling down his cheeks, and his skin a deathly white pallor the color of a man who has just seen a ghost. Her eyes remained trained on him, eyes seeing, mind thinking, thoughts running behind her blue eyes. _Like a man who totally just peed himself, _she thought to herself, not an ounce of humor in her words. No sarcasm.

Merely observation.

Fern waited. Watching, waiting, watching, waiting, not alternating between the two, but going through the motions at the same time. Watching was natural. Waiting was not. Still, ignoring the impatient thrumming of her heart in her chest, the jittery pinpricks dancing up and down underneath the surface of her skin, she waited, perfectly still, and watched.

Kurapika leaned into Leorio. The two rose to their feet together, the older man pulling Kurapika up slowly, gently. Kurapika paused for a moment when he landed on his feet. He leant over, took a deep breath, and then straightened up. His eyes opened.

_Red,_ her mind uttered.

But her eyes said different. Blue, they said. His eyes are _blue._

_No. Freaking. Way. _Fern stared at him with wide eyes as he slowly began to converse with Gon. Her gaze was trained on his face, or more specifically his eyes—but they weren't red anymore.

They were _blue_.

The moment she realized she was gaping, she shut her mouth and kneaded her brow together in intense thought. Had she just been imagining the red color of his eyes? Her frown deepened. She bit her lip, gnawing on the pink skin. No, no, she couldn't have. But if she wasn't imagining it, and he really did have red eyes, then what…? How? How was that even possible?

Her eyes shot of the blonde once more, carefully surveying his face with narrowed eyes. _Was that really the sap? _she wondered_. Or is he really the same as m-_

"Hey."

Her breath caught in her throat. Startled, she whipped around, taking several steps back before her back bumped against the cold cement of the wall. Her heart jumped in her chest. _Cornered,_ her mind screamed at her. _You're easy prey if you just stand there spacing out, dork, get out of here or your freaking dead meat._

But when her eyes snapped up, all she was met with was the sight of the white-haired boys striking teal eyes. Whitey (the hell was his real name?) was staring at her. Watching her not like a cat watches its prey, but more like how a sneaky, impish cat watches as a human proceeds to prove themselves a complete fool.

To be honest, it grated on her nerves. Condescending, his gaze felt. _Jerk,_ she sneered in her head. Even though he hadn't say anything, it felt good to take her confused irritation out on him. Such was the selfish mindset of a twelve-year old bitchy girl. (Yes, bitchy and proud of it.) _Besides, _she justified in her head, filled with smug triumph, _who wants to be nice when you can be mean instead?_ She paused. Feeling herself deflate.

…_Gon doesn't count. _

"…What?" she snapped finally, watching the boy cautiously.

"Geez," Whitey complained. "What is your problem, Blondie? I say 'hey' and you jump like I just said I had bombs in my pockets."

_Blah, blah, blah_ she mocked in her head, _shut the freaking hell up, no one wants to listen to your kitty-cat mews anyway. They're not cute at all. You're not cute at all. Nope, not at all, not even with those stupid teal green eyes that just so MAD creepy I could dream about them in my sleep._

"Do you?" Fern asked, face twisting with a mixture of disbelief and wariness.

His smirk sent shivers down her spine. "Actually-

"Actually, we need to get going," Kurapika's voice interrupted their conversation.

Fern turned to Kurapika. Still wary, however, she flickered her gaze back and forth between Kurapika and STILL nameless Whitey (whose name SHE REALLY HAD TO GET), unwilling to take her eyes off the white-haired boy. He seemed…sneaky. That smirk of his, too confident it was, and the way he walked and talked and just moved—even the way he breathed, it was all silent and stony and like jumping into a pool of icy water whenever she looked into his teal eyes. Something was off about him.

Whitey caught her eye and his smirk widened. She almost slapped him in the face. Why, that little brat….Actually, she would have slapped him in the face had Kurapika not cleared his throat and kept speaking. _Stupid ambiguous male-Barbie blonde,_ Fern insulted in her head, peeved. _Stop interrupting my important moments. _

Right, because slapping people is important. Veeeery very important. Tolerance? Non-violence? What the hell was that?

Kurapika sighed and shook his head. Fern glared daggers at his head—oh, but not when he was looking, only when his head was turned the other way, or his eyes were closed—that's when the glare would go full, one hundred percent, I-KILL-YOU burning power. When he looked at her though, she'd be smiling, of course, because, well, that's just Fern.

"…I… apologize for my weakness of mind," Kurapika apologized, somewhat reluctantly. He eyed Fern warily, her perfectly innocent smile perhaps a bit too sparkly for him (she hoped her perkiness was annoying him. After all, what was the point if she couldn't get on anyone's nerves). Kurapika narrowed his eyes at her for a second before sighing and running his fingers through his hair. "I had my suspicions about Tompa turning out this way. It is a shame I disregarded my gut feeling. It seems perhaps there are some people who cannot be trusted to keep their word. Still, there is no time to linger. We have to go if we want to catch up."

_Great. Just freaking great. The marathon starts AGAIN. Um, I feel almost like I've ran down a space of the hall with walls looking exactly like the ones around me right now._ _Um, is that like, normal, or am I just, like a tiny bit insane? _She rolled her eyes inwardly. _This is freaking retarded. An old man could pass this exam in his sleep. _

Fern let out a small, faint sigh of disappointment (See, on the outside it was all saintly, like a soft _aww_ kind of sound. On the inside it was more like UGGGGGGGGGGGGH, I MISS AKULLA, WHEN THE FREAK IS THIS GOING TO ENNNNNNNNND. Reality is frightening—especially when it comes to Fern) Regardless, Fern rose to her feet and shifted forward, about to start jogging.

"There's a way," Whitey said suddenly. "…to help the old guy and still catch up with the group."

Fern stopped. She turned and raised an eyebrow. "A way?" she repeated, slightly doubtful.

But the boy did not falter. He held her gaze steady as always, and then he nodded. A smirk twisted the corners of his mouth as he said, "Games aren't fun if they're too simple." Amusement danced in his eyes.

Fern internally gagged. _Game? _she thought incredulously. _He thinks this is a _game_? _She eyed Whitey strangely before rolling her eyes and scoffing. _Weeeeir-do. _

"Hey, now that we meet again…." Gon's voice filtered into her thoughts. She glanced at Gon, but he was watching Whitey. "Will you tell us your name?"

Her blue eyes flickered to Gon for a moment, before jumping back to the white-haired boy. She stared with wide eyes, unable to quell her curiosity. _Would_ he tell Gon his name? Fern tilted her head to the side in thought. He certainly hadn't told _her_ his name, but then again she'd never asked either, now that she thought about it… "Speaking of which," she drawled, crossing her arms against her chest and eyeing him with more curiosity than irritation, "I believe it_ is_ about time we learned your name. I mean, it's not like we haven't been waiting for the past, like, oh—two hours?"

The white-haired boy snorted. Still, he turned to Gon, Kurapika, and her with an eager spark in his teal eyes. Just for a moment, he panned over all of them, and then he turned to Fern, his eyes locking on hers. A challenge, she saw in them, a smirk.

"Killua," the boy said.

Fern couldn't help it.

She laughed.

. . .

"So…" Fern began as they jogged. A half irritated, half-disbelieving look crossed her face. "Remind me why I'm doing this again?"

Whitey—no, _Killua_, as she now knew him to be—glanced over at her nonchalantly. "Dunno. Cause you're crazy?"

She rolled her eyes and scoffed. "Uh, hello? I wouldn't be calling _me_ crazy if I were you." She motioned to the objects in his hands with a slight furrow in her brow. "I mean, I'm not the one carrying around bombs in my pockets like it's a perfectly normal thing for a kid to have."

Killua shrugged. "…So? It's just a couple bombs. "

Fern stared at him with a blank expression on her face.

"What are _you_ staring at?" he questioned, half-amused, half-irritated.

She just shook her head and rolling her eyes up to ceiling. "Nothing," she sighed in dramatic exasperation. "I mean, I couldn't be staring at the weirdness of your whole freaking persona. No way, 'cause you're not weird at all." _And I'm not being sarcastic. At allll._

But Killua only smirked. He shoved his hand in his pocket, rummaged around a bit, and pulled out yet another bomb. "What, you want to throw one too?" he asked tauntingly, holding it out to her in his palm.

She bristled at the sight of the bomb. "No!" she cried, swatting his hand away. She sniffed in disgust."No way am I touching that. _Thing_. " Her face twisted in revulsion.

A little 101 on Miss Leaf Sugarplum Fairy of Nightmare land: Fern _hated _bombs. With a passion. It was all so easy—too easy. Too easy to make a mistake and blow everything up. Too easy to just push a button and destroy everything a person ever owned. Too easy to kill people and rob them of their very own lives. Bombs made it all too easy. And she hated it. She hated everything about them.

Quite frankly, they disgusted her.

"Whatever," Killua dismissed, shrugging aloofly. His smirk widened as he dropped the bomb back into his pocket. "You're loss, Blondie."

Fern watched as he played with the handful of bombs in his other hand, throwing them up in the air and catching them and tossing them from hand to hand. "Hey, uh, you know," she called, "you could be a little more careful with those, so that you don't, like, blow us all u-

Her eyes widened as he suddenly caught all the bombs in one hand, lifted his arm, and then tossed them all into the mass of thick, sap-covered trees in front of them. Her jaw dropped.

_**BOOM!**_

_**KABOOM!**_

_**BAM!**_

_**BANG!**_

_**KAPOW!**_

She gaped at the massive explosions and destruction that was occurring before her, shocked into silence.

The explosions slowly died down, and Fern turned slowly to Killua, her face still white from astonishment. "Wha-wha-wha," she stuttered, unable to form words.

He smirked at her expression. "What? Surprised, Blondie?" He motioned towards the area ahead of them where the bombs had landed, knocked-over trees and clouds of billowing, thick smoke arising out of it. "Let's go."

She just stared, her mouth opening and closing like a goldfish.

Killua frowned. "You coming or not?"

Snapping her mouth shut, she shook her head to clear the shock-induced daze from her mind and began to jog, through the smoke and through the debris, the only thought on her mind being…

_This kid is seriously, totally, and utterly…_

_OUT OF HIS MIND!_

. . .

"Leorio!" Gon cried out as the man's figure became visible through the thick smoke. He picked up his pace and began to sprint towards the man, only to suddenly halt to a stop. There was another large, sap covered wall of trees in front of him blocking him from going any farther. Just like the last one.

That had gotten blown up.

By bombs.

Fern internally gulped and shot a fearful glance towards Killua.

He caught her gaze and held it, ever-present smirk twisting on his face. "Not up for more?" Killua asked tauntingly as he grabbed another handful of bombs from his pocket. He didn't even wait for Fern to answer. "Too bad." He shrugged.

And then he threw them.

_**BOOM!**_

_**BANG!**_

"!" Fern shrieked as the explosion sent her and the rest of the group flying through the air at top speed. The cloud of smoke enveloped her body and left her virtually sightless. She raised her arms to cover her face as a sharp piece of debris sliced a thick cut on her cheek. Even as the blow threw her harshly onto the sap-covered ground, the torture was not over, as the bombs continued to set off behind her, sending her scraping and rolling across the floor.

_OH-MY-GOD-OH-MY-GOD-OH-MY-GOD-__**OH-MY-GOD!**_

And with one last flash and powerful _KABANG!_ bursting out her eardrums, she finally tumbled out of the cloud of smoke and onto the ground, skidding to a stop right in front of a just-as-surprised-as-her looking Leorio.

Her eyes were the size of golf balls and her heart was beating a mile a minute. Sweat dribbled down her skin and she was certain the perspiration was leaving tracks in her dust and debris-covered body. She could not slow her breathing enough to catch her breath, and she swore her heart was thrumming so loudly in her ears that it would pound its way out of her chest. Her face was frozen in a look of absolute shock, her pupils small and her eyes glazed over in a daze.

_Oh. _

_My. _

_**God**__. _

She heard the sound of the others arriving behind her, Killua landing oh-so-gracefully on his light-weight feet, Kurapika falling on his knees, and Gon flying through the air like a rocket…

Fern's eyes widened, her shock disappearing in a flash with a new realization.

Oh yes, Gon was flying like a rocket…heading towards her.

She let out a tiny squeak of surprise, and in a last moment attempt to save herself from a possible concussion and a body-squashing, traumatizing experience, her reflexes kicked in. She leaned over and ducked her head out of the way- just in time for Gon to go soaring overhead, barely missing the top of her head by a couple millimeters. A sigh of relief escaped her lips.

Oh, but Leorio, the unfortunate man sitting behind Fern, right in the path of the flying, cannonball boy? Him?

Not so lucky.

_CRASH_

Gon collided head on with the man, the force of the impact sending them both skidding across the floor. Fern winced when she saw Leorio's head bang against the concrete floor. _Now _that's _gonna hurt like a bitch tomorrow, _Fern thought with a cringe. Then she perked up. _But at least it's not me!_

Slowly, the pair slid to a stop, Leorio on his back and Gon on his stomach. Behind them, the smoke began to clear and a heavy silence replaced it. It was a resting point, a temporary moment of peace and silence, where the group used the time to allow their minds to catch up. There were no more bombs, no more smoke, no more explosions, no more flying cannonball people…the action was over.

For now, anyways.

"…Are you okay?" Fern finally asked, breaking the silence. She stared at Gon, waiting for him to react.

Gon blinked.

And then he grinned.

"I'm good!" he replied with unmatched enthusiasm, rolling over to his back and jumping onto his feet.

A strangled groan rumbled out of Leorio's prone figure. Fern's and everyone else's gaze wandered over to the poor man on the floor. "_I'm_ not okay…" he grumbled, voice muffled by the floor. He'd fallen with his behind sticking high into the air, quite the attractive pedestal—note the sarcasm in that statement (Fern did NOT like adults….especially old men).

Fern giggled. "Glad to know you're still alive," she joked teasingly. "I thought you were dead, Pops."

Leorio sat up with a jolt, his eyes wide and alert. "Gon? Kurapika?" His eyes flickered over to her. "Leaf?" His face began to twist in something akin to confusion, but his eyes darting around the tunnel as if searching for something. "Pietro?"

Kurapika sighed. "It was an illusion caused by the smell of the sap on the walls. You were tricked by Tompa."

"Hallucination?" Leorio repeated. The words slowly sank into his head. His eyes hardened in realization. "I see. Looks like I was saved from a rather dangerous situation." Leorio seemed to be deep in thought for a moment before raising an eyebrow at the group in front of him. "But it didn't affect you guys?"

Kurapika looked down, a solemn expression overtaking his face. "I was almost…" he trailed off into a shameful silence.

"Nothing happened to me!" Gon exclaimed proudly, grinning.

"No doubt. It seems to be a trap that wouldn't work on someone as carefree and worry-less as Gon," Leorio remarked, an amused look crossing his face. He turned to Fern, curious. "And you?"

She couldn't resist the smirk on her face. "Nothing."

Kurapika blinked. "But how? Do you have no worries like Gon?"

Her smirk widened. "It's called breathing through your mouth, and not your nose." She let out an airy laugh. "It really helps to not be able to smell that the aroma that's causing the illusions, don't you think?" she asked, a cheeky smile fighting its way onto her lips.

Leorio slapped his forehead and groaned. "And you couldn't have told me that sooner?"

"Wait!" Kurapika interjected, bringing the attention onto him. His brow furrowed, creasing wrinkles in the center of his forehead. "Breathing it in wouldn't have the same effect as smelling it?"

Fern shook her head slowly. "Nope," she chirped confidently. Her hands rose to her hips, smugness radiating "The illusions form from the scent, and the scent only. The aroma enters the scent gland, is transferred into an electrical signal as it hits the olfactory nerve cell, and then makes its way up to the brain. The signal travels up to the higher end of the brain connected to memories and emotions, and from there it begins it begins to damage your mind. As you can see, it has absolutely nothing to do with the lungs or the mouth. It's completely in your scent glands and the brain," she explained, slightly out of breath from all the talking.

Her long, scientific explanation was followed by a moment of silence.

"..Wow," Gon breathed in awe, breaking the quiet. "You're really smart, Leaf."

"You mean a know-it-all," Leorio grumbled, irritated. His expression turned incredulous, filled with disbelief. His eyes narrowed and he sat up, crossing his arms against his chest. "How did you know all that about the sap and the way the body reacts to it? Are you—

"I knew that too," Killua interjected, completely blasé. "What?" he asked when Leorio switched his glare to him. "It isn't that hard to remember, Pops."

Leorio jumped to his feet, growling like an angered lion. "Pops?" Leorio repeated shrilly. His gaze skimmed the room, looking for the owner of the voice, before his eyes snapped to the white-haired boy with the skateboard positioned slightly away from the group, and closer to the sap-covered wall. "Hey! It's you! Wait a second, when the hell did you get here?"

Fern internally sighed at his lack of observance. _There's such a thing as being aware of your surroundings, you know, _she thought to herself in exasperation. She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. _And this is why I usually don't ally up with the dorks. _

"He's Killua," Gon informed him with a wide smile. He seemed almost annoyingly proud of himself for getting the name out of the white-haired boy.

"Killua?" Leorio snorted with laughter. "What kind of name is that?"

Fern, in the background, felt herself struggling to hold back a giggles. _I know,_ Leorio, _I can't believe I'm saying this, but I so totally know what you're feeling._ After all, when she'd first heard it, she'd laughed for a full thirty seconds before Killua got annoyed and made some jabbing comment she couldn't even hear over her laughter. Then she sobered up and got serious. I think I understand why he was so reluctant to say his name now. _I mean, who names their kid Killua? My god, that sounds like the name of some creeper bad guy in a comic or something. Sticking a word like 'kill' and adding 'ua' to make it a name? _She bit her lip and swallowed a giggle. _So cliché._

"That's like getting a kid who likes pancakes, and taking the word 'pancake' and then sticking '-ko' at the end of the name to make pancakeko-

"Pops, there's no time for chit-chat," Killua suddenly interjected. He didn't seem bristled, just bored. Maybe he was used to it.

"YOU WERE THE ONE CONTINUING THE CONVERSA—

"Leorio," Kurapika interrupted patiently. He lifted his hand and placed it calmly on the older man (who was currently roaring and snapping wildly at Killua's nonchalant form). "Calm down, he is right. We do not have time to waste fighting with each other. Besides, it will tire you out."

Leorio snapped his mouth shut, grinding his words in his teeth.

Killua smirked. "That' right, Pops."

Fern's eyes shot from Killua to Leorio, back again. For a boy who said he didn't have any time, Killua seemed quite entertained by Leorio's hot-tempered personality. Well, she guessed it was kind—okay, totally fun to push the guy's buttons, especially since he seemed incapable of producing intelligent comebacks, and his face got really red and-_wait._

Her eyes shot back to Killua, darting right down to his hands…. which were holding things that looked remarkably like... _Hey..wait a second…_She frowned, her eyes narrowing in suspicion. _Are those—_

The blood drained from her face.

"Bombs?" she squeaked. Fern gaped, eyes wide and jaw slack. Her face was twisted in a strange mix of incredulity, fear, and dread. She turned to Killua, not even bothering to conceal her horror. "_More_?"

"You ready, Blondie?" Killua held up his hands. A set of four bombs in between his fingers. But his eyes remained on Fern, watching her again with that condescending "you look like a dork and it's funny to watch look" that she so totally hated.

Fern panicked. "N-no! Wai-

"Here comes the next set."

And then he threw them.

…..

_Click._

Fern shrieked and began to hyperventilate. "_Oh_ my god, no-no-no-no-no—

_**BANG!**_

_**KABOOM!**_

_**KAPOW!**_

_**CRASH!**_

_**BOOM!**_

"_SHIT_-TAKE MUSHROOOOOOOOOMS!"

And, for the second time that day, Fern found herself soaring through the air, screaming profanities and cusses that would make even the roughest sailor cringe.

God damn that stupid white-haired brat and his god-forsaken bombs.

. . .

End of Chapter 5.

Review please, for the sake of Shitake mushrooms and the author's scarce sanity…

Remember: Life is good.

Reviews are better.

Now, of course that doesn't mean I want to die so I can get reviews. That means I want to live and have my reviews too, so you better start reviewing before Santa…or whoever you celebrate decides to give you coal for a present.

Question for Reviews (for the Review impaired): What is your theory on Fern's panic attack over Kurapika's red eyes?

Review please.


	7. Her Hero is Bald

_**A/N:**__ Here's the newest update. Again, not the most exciting chapter, but whatever. More Gon, Killua, Fern action and a little bit of ninja touch. Because we know we all love bald people ,especially when they're ninja from the wrong universe. _

_**Disclaimer: Hunter x Hunter belongs to Yoshihiro Togashi. Fern is mine.**_

_**Summary: **__Fern followed Tompa and Leorio down the Sedar Sap path with Killua. When they caught up to Kurapika, Leorio, and Gon, Fern witnessed Kurapika's eyes turn red from the sap's delusion. She was shocked. After the sap's effects were broken, Killua decided to bomb the wall so they could get back to the main path without falling behind from the group. And Fern is now flying through the air from the bomb's immense force. _

**_. . . _**

**_Chapter 6: Her Hero is Bald_**

_No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-_

She shut her eyes and squeezed them as tightly closed as she could, anticipating with dread a sure-to-be painful landing on the ground. She could still hear the explosions ringing in her ears, and the force of the bombs blasting hot against her back. A rush of air and heat burned her cheeks, making her dry eyes water and her scalded throat sting. Her brain felt like a crushed container of Jell-O, squishy crimson matter lying smashed and spattered around on the walls of her mind, reduced to mere particles and red juice. She couldn't think straight, couldn't even begin to think calmly. As she flew through the air, falling towards the ground at a rapid rate, Fern's head was filled with panicked and rushed pleading. _Please let me survive this, please let me survive this, please don't let me get a concussion from this, please let my sack and clothes survive this, and please, please, please let my sanity remain intact—whoops, forgot I never quite had any to begin with. _

Fern begged. Really, she begged and swore and prayed and even vowed to never pick on Akulla ever again. She did all that and more, and yet the floor just kept getting closer, and her body just wouldn't stop plummeting down. And now- now she was only seconds away from a broken nose and a bad concussion, and all thoughts left her mind completely, swept away by an overwhelming wave of fear and dread for the upcoming collision. All she could do was slam her eyes shut like the doors of an iron gate, clench her teeth, and wait.

And wait she did.

But….

….

….

It never came.

Instead, she found herself swept up, a falling feather snatched straight out of the air, and brought to a surprisingly graceful, and light landing in a warm, steady pair of muscled arms.

Her eyes snapped open. _What the—_

"H-Hanzo?" she heard herself saying. She could barely recognize her own voice. What was normally steady and trill-like was breathy and shuddering. Her heart gave a little weak flutter in her chest. _I'm alive,_ she thought to herself in awe. She stared at her hands, shocked, staring at her open palms with her wide, astonished eyes and a slightly parted mouth. _I'm alive,_ she thought again. The words could not seem to sink in_. I'm alive I'm alive, I'm ali—_Her eyes widened in realization. _ Oh holy mother of brownies and double nacho dip, I'm ALIVE!_

A triumphant grin spread across her face. The foggy daze cleared from her mind, fear replaced by a feeling of accomplishment, or thrill and excitement and utmost exhilaration. Outrunning death—fun. Running towards Death, nudging him, and then succeeding in escaping without severe repercussions—_awesome._

"What's the meaning of this?" she heard the examiner, Satotsu saying, but her mind was still too overwhelmed to register his words. .

"Sorry…we destroyed the wall a little bit…" Gon murmured sheepishly.

"I never said you couldn't destroy it. You wandered into the path of delusion and came back alive. Impressive."

She heard the conversation, but their voices and words were merely a mush of strange noises and nonsense in her mind. She pushed their words back and instead focused on the man holding her, not liking the way his arms felt around her body. Like a bed of chains, they felt like to her. She had to untangle herself from them.

"Feeling better, kid?" Hanzo asked her upon realizing she was watching him.

She forced a smile onto her face. "Um, yeah," she said somewhat shyly. Blushing slightly, she ducked her chin into her chest, raising her shoulders and glanced at the man sheepishly. "Can I ask, um.." she paused and fidgeted uncertainly, "Why did you catch me?"

The bald ninja just looked down at her dazed faze and grinned. "In my country, we ninjas always have to go on missions to save our client. Catching you was easy, brat. Don't think too much of it. It was barely even a reflex." He bent his knees and plopped her gently down on the balls of her feet.

The moment her toes daintily brushed the ground, Fern turned and dazzled the man with a stunning, wild smile. Her hands clasped with joy in front of her chest and she gazed upon Hanzo with extreme admiration. "Thanks so much, Hanzo-sama," she said with a genuine smile. Fern's cheeks tinted pink and she tilted her head to the side, her blonde hair lying softly against her bashful cheeks. "I never thought anyone would be so kind and gentlemanly as to catch a girl like me. You're such a kind man, Hanzo-sama." She gazed up at him through fluttering light eyelashes. "I'm so _glad_ I met you."

Hanzo flushed with proud embarrassment. He seemed almost to grow at the compliments, squaring his shoulders and rising up with confidence. "Heh, it was nothing," he denied, rubbing his nose and glancing away. She observed him carefully though, and the moment he thought she wasn't looking, a wide, smug smirk broke across his face. It was possibly the goofiest expression she had seen all day. _My god, he looks freaking _drunk _on _compliments_. _Fern rolled her eyes. _Dork. _

The group began to jog again, as they had apparently stopped for a moment when the wall was destroyed. Fern ran next to the ninja, planning to initiate a conversation between them. After all, if she wanted him to help her again, then it would be wise to keep their slight ties abound, right? And besides, a bit of social-networking and acting-practice wouldn't be so bad for her anyways. Especially since she hadn't exactly been sweet-talking to Killua and any other of Gon's group of friends.

In fact, she'd rather been doing the opposite. She wouldn't be surprised if they got sick of her….admittedly_ bitchy_ attitude and dumped her at the next chance. Hell, if she were them she'd dump herself.

Fern turned to Hanzo and smiled up at him, admiringly. "Wow," she breathed, fake awe lighting up her voice. "You're so _strong_. Is it because you're a ninja, or is it just because you're naturally that good?"

Hanzo's face lit up visibly, and she could practically see the gates to his secrets opening wide before her. _Heh, _Fern thought to herself with a smirk. _Flattery does wonders for the braggers. _

"Like I told you, for a ninja like me, that was nothing. Of course it isn't natural for anyone to be as good as me—this strength comes with some excruciating hard work." Hanzo eyed her scrutinizingly. "You wouldn't survive the first day."

She made her eyes grow wide. "Whoa, I didn't know the training was that hard!" A grin broke across her face. "In that case, I'm sure you'll pass the Hunter exams with no problem at all!"

Hanzo barked out laughter, his booming guffaw echoing loudly in the underground chamber. "Of course I will, kid!" The prospect of losing seemed to amuse him. "Me? Fail?" He snorted. "The chance of that happening is zero."

"Sorry," Fern apologized with a shy smile. "I just get worried easily about people I care about."

They jogged like this for a while. Fern continued to compliment the man, and Hanzo basked in her mindless compliments without protest. He was so far gone in Lala-_my ego's the size of York New_-land that he did not realize it when her comments began lacking her initial enthusiasm. Fern, becoming increasingly impatient and annoyed, reflected such in her voice as her pleasantries became dry drawling remarks that just dripped with sarcasm. Her patience began to melt away faster than chocolate in the desert.

"Wooooow," Fern droaned with half-lidded eyes. It felt like the thousandth time she'd said this. "I never knew you could do that."

"It was nothing," Hanzo dismissed with a proud smirk. That seemed to be his favorite line right there.

She rolled her eyes inwardly. _Nothing?_ Fern snorted inside. _Typical man—his ego is the size of Tompa's nose, and believe me, that is big, man, BIG._

Still, she could not deny the fact that the guy was handy. He had, after all, caught her from her impending doom. _Hey_, she scoffed in her head, _at least he's useful for _something _other than killing people from boring-overdose. _She grinned, pleased with herself. _And _this_ is why allies come in handy. I _knew_ it would be smart to talk to this guy before the exam started._ Heck, if she hadn't conversed and acquainted herself with him earlier, she'd probably be dead mush on the ground by now.

"But how did you know to catch me so fast?" Fern questioned boredly. There was not a hint of interest in her monotone voice. "Catching people during an explosion is soooooo haaaaard." _And hearing the sarcasm is my voice is soooooooo difficuuuuult. _

Oblivious, Hanzo grinned down at the disbelieving girl proudly. He flexed the muscles in his arm as he spoke. "Catching someone falling in the air isn't even enough to wake up my body. Don't tell anyone this, but in my country, we train every day from sun-up to sun-down, and we don't get any breaks. We even eat while we train. This stuff is so easy, I could do it while I was asleep! Heck, I could run this long just a couple months after I started to walk! And _blah blah blah blah blah blah blah_…"

Hanzo's irritating blabbering slowly faded into the background as Fern, distracted, focused on other, more interesting things around her. Like Gon and Kurapika and Leorio and Killua—

Her nose crinkled.

_Killua._ Where was that little brat anyways? She had a couple choice words to say to him…none of which should ever be repeated by a child- let alone anyone, for that matter.

"—And taijutsu training is a lot harder than just kicking a bunch of logs for a couple hours, you know. You have to spar with the people on your squad, and when you go all out, the bruises can be hell to deal with later. But of course, they don't bother me much anymore, because I'm used to all the pain, and I don't really get tired that much either. No one in my squad is really on my level anymore—they're a bit below me, so I don't get much of a good challenge anymore. I think I'm getting a bit rusty, so I hope this Hunter Exam gets a bit more exciting later on, or else I think I'm going to—

"—Hey," Fern interrupted the babbling man.

He glanced over at her, looking slightly irritated at having been interrupted with his bragging-spree. "What?"

Fern smiled sweetly at him, hoping to relinquish his good mood. "I'm sorry," she said apologetically. "But I really have to go see if my friends are all right." She pinned him with her sad, puppy-dog look-of shining, innocent eyes. "Maybe you could tell me all about being a ninja a bit later? You're really amazing, Hanzo-sama, and I'd really like to hear all about your country, but, you know, I…I have to be good to my friends. " She sighed sadly. "…I'm sorry; I have to go make sure my friends are okay, now. But you understand right? To a true ninja like yourself, comrades are important, right?"

Hanzo grinned, his previous annoyance with her obviously satiated with the amount of compliments that had been snuck into her lines. "Of course!" he agreed all-too eagerly.

Fern shot him one last (exasperated) smile before running off into the crowd to look for Leorio, Kurapika, Gon or Killua. It was a bit harder to find any of them now that the tunnel had stopped being a flat ground jog. It had- somewhere along the way—become a fast-paced, climb up a wall of steep stairs. Though the change was annoying, she figured it could be a good thing as well since it meant they were probably getting close to the finish line. Fern ran her gaze up and down the bobbing heads of the crowd, searching for any familiar heads of hair…

"Gon-san!" Fern cried as she spotted the young boy's spiky-black hair in the midst of the crowd.

The boy turned his head and smiled as he spotted her. "Leaf!" he replied, waving at her cheerily. The fake name made her want to cringe. _Ugh,_ she gagged_, tell me, why did I pick that dumb name to call myself again?_

Regardless, Fern forced a smiled back. She held his gaze for a mere moment before looking away to focus on shoving through the mass of people crowding the tunnel to get to Killua and Gon. Much to her irritation, the two were at the very front of the crowd, which meant she really would have to do a lot of crazy pushing, shoving, and weaving.

All was going fine for a while. She was almost at the front. And then something terrible happened.

This fat guy stuck his round rear in her face, and his fat just rolled out of his pants so far that she couldn't seem to squeeze around him. The sight of him make her was to puke. Disgusting, she thought, eyeing the jiggling waves of fat. Just, ICK!

But the real problem was that he was blocking her way. For god's sake, couldn't he have failed earlier like Nicole? Fern groaned and considered her options. It was hard to get around him without either a) trying to push out of the way like she had done the others (which was very unlikely to succeed, but very likely to enrage), or b) tripping him (much more likely to succeed, but also very likely to end up with him getting right back up and chasing after her). And neither of those seemed very appealing to her.

_I _really_ hate fat people. _

Fern jogged. And jogged and jogged , waiting for the guy to trip, get tired, or move to the side.

He didn't do either.

And he was so. So. SLOW!

Annoyance pent up inside of her with every minute that passed. Her teeth ground down and her fists clenched at her sides. She could practically feel waves of anger rolling off her and a vein pulsating in her forehead. Finally, she snapped.

_To hell with this! I pick plan C._ Fern dashed forward. Like a mouse, she ducked and slipped through the space in between his two legs, before rising back to her full height and dashing off. She did not even stopping to see the man's reaction before leaping up the last few steps to reach Killua and Gon.

"Finally," Fern sighed in relief. She took a deep breath and fanned herself in the face with her hand. "I thought I was going to _die_ back there."

Killua snorted, looking slightly amused. "Did you just run between a man's legs?"

She rolled her eyes and fixed Killua with a wide-eyed, disbelieving stare. "Um, did you see that guy? He was like—a walking, over-filled dumpling! And he smelt like freakin' horse manure!"

"Oh. I thought that was you." His face was blank.

Fern took a swing at him but the white-haired boy ducked coolly out of the way. A secret smirk played on his lips.

"Ah!" Gon suddenly exclaimed, drawing Fern and Killua's attention. He grinned at them toothily and lifted his arm to point in front of him. "Look! It's the exit!"

Fern snapped her head forward and her eyes widened at the sight of the bright light at the end of the tunnel. A grin spread across her face as she took in the sight. "Oh my gosh, _yes_!" she cried with delight. "It's finally almost over!"

"You two look glad," Killua commented aloofly.

"You're not?" the two asked in unison. Fern's eyes locked with Gon for a second, vaguely surprised, before she turned back to Killua with a curious look on her face.

"Not really," he said, closing his eyes and turning his head away from the blinding light. "It's only an exit." _Or a train, _Fern couldn't help but add in her closed his eyes and let out a dramatic, long sigh, his shoulders falling with disappointment. "What a boring exam…" he complained. "This isn't even_ close_ to a game."

_Who the hell would even expect it to be like a game anyways? _Fern asked incredulously in her head. A sardonic laugh threatened to escape her lips as she eyed Killua with a half-amused, half-dry look. Her eyebrow twitched. _He would, apparently. _

"But if we pass, we can become Hunters!" Gon reasoned. He smiled brightly, good-natured as always. "Wouldn't that be great?"

But Killua merely drifted his eyes slowly towards the black-haired boy. "…Why do you want to become a Hunter so much, anyway?"

Fern's gaze switched to Gon, watching him expectantly. _Come to think of it, why does he? _ A spark of curiosity lit in her stomach.

"My dad's a Hunter," Gon confided. Pride held steady in his voice. "And he must be a great one!" Fern watched, slightly amused, as his whole face lit up like a candle at the mention of his father. His eyes sparkled and there seemed to be a burning enthusiasm that there hadn't been before.

A small, but honest smile dusted her lips. "You seem to really admire your dad…" Fern murmured softly, gazing down at the floor wistfully. _I wonder what my dad would be like if he were still…_ She looked up suddenly as a thought occurred to her. "Wait, 'must be?' What you mean?" she asked, confused. Her brow furrowed. "Do you not know him?"

Gon nodded. "Since I grew up at my Aunt's place, I only know my dad through a picture."

Fern frowned. "But if he left you, then, why would you…?"

"I don't mind," Gon assured, still smiling. He gazed towards the end of the tunnel, but his eyes seemed to be seeing something else, looking so far into the distance, into some place Fern could not hope to understand. "Being a hunter must be a really amazing job if you would leave your family for it." A fire of determination seemed to spark in his eyes and he brightened up, turning to Fern and Killua and grinning. "That's why I want to become a Hunter like my dad!"

Fern blinked in surprise at the amount of intensity and certainty his voice had held in those last few statements. Her eyes momentarily flickered to Killua's beside her, and indeed, he too seemed to going through the same reaction as her.

Fern slowly turned her eyes back to Gon and gazed at the running boy beside her with her eyes wide in a mixture of awe and realization. He was no longer just sunny boy with an optimistic attitude, and a slightly too-gullible and naïve perspective on the world. He was now a boy who, although carrying much pain and loss, carried it with enthusiasm and optimism. He maintained a positive outlook on life that he carried everywhere he went, touching people and warming them with the sunlight and warmth he seemed to practically exude as an aura.

_Cheesy,_ Fern scolded herself, but a fondness had already begun to soften in her chest. _Still, he is…kind of…cute in a younger brother kind of way…._She paused, the face of a certain black-haired boy flashing in her mind. The memory brought a smile to her face. _But not as cute as Akulla._

She almost laughed. _Never as cute as Akulla._

She shook her head, dismissing the thought. Even so, Gon amazed her, and although a while ago she had been looking down at him for being naïve, she now found herself almost…. _admiring _the boy's clear determination and resolve in his goals. To follow and pursue a dream that led him blindly in an unforeseen direction…it was stupid. Really, _really_ stupid. And maybe she could have just dismissed Gon as the regular, stupid person that just jumped into things without thinking, but…it wasn't like that. _He_ wasn't like that. The look in his eyes told Fern that he _did _know what he was getting into, the danger he was walking towards, and yet he chose to keep going anyway. Bravery or just plain idiocy? Either way, what Gon was doing really took a lot of gut.

He was really…different, wasn't he? Much different than anyone she had ever met before…

A soft smile lifted the corners of her lips up. _He's quite…eccentric, _she thought to herself with a nod. _But…_Fern glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. The side of her lip curled up in an amused sort of half-smirk, half-smile. _It's in a good kind of way. _

"Hey," Gon said suddenly, pulling her out of her thoughts.

Fern shook her head to clear her thoughts, before glancing over at him expectantly.

"That skateboard," he was saying to Killua. "Can I borrow it sometime?"

The white-haired boy tilted his head and fixed his eyes on Gon. Fern regarded the two boy's interaction with silent interest, scrutinizing Killua's carefully masked face. His usually half-lidded, bored eyes were widened a fraction more than usual, teal brighter than usual, face alit with the slightest hints of surprise.

"No?" Gon asked, smiling sheepishly. A light blush coated his tanned cheeks.

Killua stared at Gon. Stared. And stared. And stared.

The silence was heavy.

Then, slowly but surely, a slight, _slight_, miniscule smile so tiny she could _barely _see it slipped onto Killua's face. "If you let me borrow your fishing rod," he said finally, his voice light and uplifted, "Gon."

Fenr frowned. _Okay, there are two problems with this conversation. One, this is like, way too cheesy to me to handle. Two. _She glared. _ Why the hell am I being LEFT OUT? _

Fern cleared her throat loudly. "Ah-hem!" She coughed into her hand, successfully breaking up the moment.

Killua and Gon glanced at her with a strange look. "What now?" Killua groaned.

She pouted and pointed to herself miserably. "What about me?" she asked, jutting her bottom lip out sadly. "I feel left out of this conversation. Just because I don't carry around weird, random items with me doesn't mean you need to exclude me!"

Killua grinned mischievously at her. "Oh, stop whining, Blondie. Just because you're jealous of us doesn't mean you have to whine."

"Hey!" she cried in protest. "I'm not jealous! And don't call me Blondie!"

She moved to swat his arm, only for him to grin wider and duck out of the way. "Someone's aim is getting a little sloppy," he teased.

Gon just laughed at the two, causing Killua to crack a triumphant smirk. The white-haired boy snorted before joining in the laugh-at- Fern's-demise-club with Gon.

Fern huffed at both the boys and turned away stubbornly, angry thoughts churning through her head. "Geez," she muttered. "Guys are such jerks."

"Sorry," Gon apologized, but he was still chuckling.

Killua just rolled his eyes. "Don't apologize Gon; she's just playing with you."

Fern just sniffed at him and turned away, silently giving the boy the cold shoulder. _What is his problem?_ Fern ranted in her head. _I mean, it's not like I have cooties or anything—that would just be so lame._

"…Hey," Killua's voice interrupted her mid-rant. She whipped around, about to snap at him, when he cut her off, lifting his skateboard towards her. "You can ride my skateboard too."

The words died in her throat. Shocked, she could only blink at him with wide eyes. He didn't look like he was lying. His eyes were shifting, in a nervous kind of way, and that was how she could tell. For normal people avoiding eye contact was a sign of trickery, but with this boy—with Killua, she could already tell that he was so accustomed to lying that lying had become natural and easy. On the other hand, honesty had become the action to cause unease. Backwards, maybe, but not so far-fetched. Especially when Fern herself was the same.

Her face softened. A smile played on the corners of her lips. "Thanks, I-

"But only if you buy me a lifetime supply of chocolate."

A vein pulsated in her forehead. Her smile widened, strained and dark and undeniably annoyed. Fern moved to elbow him. Killua ducked. Her grin widened and she stuck her foot out to kick him in the shin.

He stumbled.

Fern laughed and rushed forward, dancing up the rest of the steps towards the welcoming, warm light.

"I hope the light's a train and you get run over!" Killua yelled after her.

She only rolled her eyes and laughed harder. "I'll make sure to lie straight down under the wheels and pull you down with me!"

But even as she ran, leaping up the stairs, her laughter was light, airy, and inside of her, in the very center of her being, there was the beginnings of a softness, a warm bubbling rising in the depths of her stomach. Like hot chocolate on a cold, winter day, it filled her chest with a warm sense of….what was it? What was this feeling?

_Comfort?_

She shook her head. No, it couldn't be.

…

…..

….Could it?

**. . .**

Fern stared out at the endless expanse of swamp, mud, and exotic wildlife that lay beneath the cliff she and the other candidates stood on. The mucky brown wetland covered with a thick, gray haze extended far into the horizon, cut off by the beginnings of a rigid mountain of jutting rock. The mountains surrounded the landscape like an iron gate without a door in sight. Or in existence.

No escape.

A sharp caw echoed in the distance. Fern glanced up at the overcast sky just in time to see a beast with the vast, powerful wings of an eagle, but the crushing jaws of a shark swoop down from above. A sick ripping shrieked through the air as the beast sunk its fangs into the another bird. Its powerful jaw viciously tore apart. Death was instant. One moment flying. The next attacked. A moment later food. The predator beast flapped its wings and soared off into the distance, disappearing behind a cloud of smog.

_I bet they eat humans too, _Fern mused to herself. She glanced back down from the bloated sky and eyed the swamp cautiously. _If the other animals here in this area are all savage and volatile beasts like that, then I'm really going to have to watch my back closely if I want to get out of here alive. _

But she wasn't really worried. After all, Fern was used to this survival in the wilderness thing. Out here, it was no-man's land. It was one man for himself, or in this case—one _beast _for itself and there was no such thing as trust, friendship, or loyalty. It was kill or be killed, and if that meant killing comrades, then so be it.

Because when you're in no-man's land, it's a free-for-all, and when there's no one but you to watch your own back, there's no room for mercy. All you can care about is yourself, and surviving, because if you don't, then you're dead.

Morals held no importance to these creatures. They may have been smart, but they held no conscious like humans did.

_SCRREEEECH!_

Fern turned and looked behind her just in time to see the steel door roll shut. It closed with a resounding clang, cutting off all sight of the dark tunnel they had just emerged from. The chatter of the candidates instantly silenced, and turned their gaze to the waiting examiner.

"Numele Swamp," Satotsu said, gazing out at the fog-covered land before them. "Also, Swindler's Roost. To get to the Second Exam Center, we must pass through here. There are many rare animals that only exist here. Many of them trick people in order to kill and eat them. They're cunning and greedy animals." He pivoted around to stare at the candidates. "Please be careful and follow me. If you get tricked, you_ will_ die."

_True, true, very true. But they can't trick you…_

Fern felt a tiny smirk curling the corners of her lips up.

_**If you trick them first.**_

. . .

End of Chapter 6

Question for Reviews: What do you think Killua thinks of Fern at this point?

Review please…


	8. Swamps are Hungry

_**A/N:**__ And finally, we finish the First Exam. And finally, I update on schedule. Wow. Pigs are flying. _

_**Disclaimer: Hunter x Hunter belongs to Yoshihiro Togashi. Fern is mine.**_

_**Summary: **__Fern, Gon, and the others rejoined the group after going through the Healing Cedar Sap path, and made it to the end of the tunnel. Now they have to make it through the marsh to the second exam center._

_. . . _

_**Chapter 7: Swamps are Hungry**_

What followed Satotsu's little warning speech was something Fern found to be extremely appropriate, not to mention ironic. A monkey beast scrambled around the side of the cliff, carefully disguised as a human. It claimed to be the real examiner, and that Satotsu (whose face looked remarkably similar to the monkey beast's) was the imposter.

Which, of course, was not true. Fern knew from the very moment the beast showed up. After all, what kind of idiot would believe a lie like that? Just because the examiner didn't have a mouth (something that sincerely and utterly baffled Fern), had a funny curly mustache (which defied gravity and therefore ALSO bothered Fern), and looked a little (okay, a LOT) like a monkey, didn't mean he _was _a monkey! Besides, no real examiner would have been dumb enough to get tricked by a monkey beast, and therefore, it was impossible for Satotsu to be an imposter to begin with.

And it should have ended right there with that easy-to-figure out, logical explanation, but… it didn't. Because not everyone seemed to possess Fern's unfailing ability to view any problem calmly, analyze the situation, and pick out all signs of deception with ease. Though she supposed that was a given, (for it really _was _much easier to see through other's lies if you were a liar yourself) since it provided you with much-needed insight on a professional liar's mind and thought process.

Since it seemed the majority of the group was simply not lucky enough to have inherited Fern's Amazing Lie-Detecting Super Survival Skill, the situation was beginning to get out of hand. Group-psychology led the group to panic, frustrate themselves, and lose whatever calm they had before. Arguments stormed up over whether Satotsu or the monkey was the real imposter, and it quickly got to the point where it seemed a mob riot would break out. Rational thoughts went flying out the window the moment emotions entered the argument, and therefore, Fern could no longer view any of the candidates as anything other than 'Idiot 1', 'Idiot 2', and 'Idiot more', for being caught up in the beast's trap so easily.

_And thus concludes today's 'Who's the Stupidest' show. What did we learn today? _Fern asked herself as she watched the scene play out with dull, half-lidded eyes and an amused eyebrow lifted. _Adults really _are_ stupid. _

Thankfully, the chaos was resolved. But, not the way one would have expected. The dangerous, cotton-candy, blue-haired man costumed as a jester decided to add his two, little cents in. Which, if he had been normal, would have been fine. Maybe. But apparently he didn't believe in "words before action", because instead of simply voicing his opinions, he decided to make some wacko show out of everything by tossing his crazily sharp cards at both Satotsu and the monkey beast imposter to see which one would catch them.

The one who failed to avoid them was the imposter. The now _dead_ imposter.

A.K.A The monkey beast.

Fern resisted the urge to sigh and roll her eyes. _Duh._

"Now, shall we go ahead?" Satotsu asked, gliding around the side of the cliff. "To the Second Exam Center."

And, once again, the marathon began, only this time, it was different. It was harder.

It was _better._

. . .

They had only been running for a while now. The slushy, thick goop of the swamp quickly wore down on the candidates' stamina. Fern observed that many of the candidates who had made it through the tunnel were beginning to drop out now. It didn't help that the swamp and its creatures were going trap-happy with the candidates, picking them off not one by one as one might have expected, but instead by the dozen. They were getting weeded out like dandelions in an obsessive gardener's raspberry patch—a handful per minute-a startling fast rate, and she guessed that by the end of the first exam, more than half of them would be either dead, lost, or have given up. She had to admit though—the creatures that lived in the swap were quite creative in their choosing of traps. Perhaps she could learn a thing or two from the beasts.

Fern watched with longing eyes as a gigantic frog the size of a house emerged from the mud beneath a group of candidates. Intriguing, it was, to watch the frog swallow them whole _and_ the ground underneath them in one big gulp. One moment, she was watching the people slide down the frog's bulky throat as a lump in its coffee skin. The next, it was gone, sinking back into the mud, as if to become a part of it, and nearly disappeared from sight. Everything fell silent. The frog was waiting in silence for its next round of victims.

Fern couldn't have been happier. _This,_ she thought,_ this is my element. _It wasn't a complicated trap, but the idea of a creature that _big _ being able to camouflage and disappear into the scenery simply tempted Fern with such ferocity that her heart practically began to tug her in the direction of where the frog lay in wait. She yearned to walk over and inspect the trap. She yearned to tear it apart into small, comprehensible pieces. But most of all she yearned, beyond all yearns, to reconstruct it in a way that was useable to a human like her.

The idea was tempting. Very, very tempting. Like a deliciously melted bar of rich milk chocolate, the traps of the beasts called to her over and over again, leaving her obsessed and mesmerized with the thought of grabbing this wonderful opportunity to study nature's traps. It was _such_ a good chance to improve her own traps…

She could not tear her eyes off the spot.

Fern wanted to dash over there right then and there and activate the frog's trap on purpose. She wanted to watch it, analyze it, and then replay it over and over again until she got all of the animal's tricks memorized. She wanted to observe the trap's advantages, its flaws, and then weigh them on a scale. And then she wanted to perfect the a trap of her own out of the tricks she had observed from the frog.

But she couldn't.

_Why not? _A part of her whispered.

She bit her lip, her eyes shooting over to Satotsu before returning to the frog's trap. _I can't lose sight of the examiner._

_Yes you can, _the voice whispered in her ear. _You could easily find him again with all that damn powerful aura he exudes. What was the point of going through all of Akulla's torturous training if you can't even use the skill he taught you when you need it? Besides, that man practically leaves a trail of Nen behind him everywhere he goes. You know you'll be able to find him again after you examine all the traps. Don't even kid yourself that you can't do it. Because you can. _

_You're just afraid to die._

And with that, Fern's mind was made up. She was going to get a good look at those traps if it killed her, because _god damn it _she might have been a liar but she was definitely _not_ a coward.

She was just pondering the best way to stray from the group, when her eyesight began to blur over with a white fog. She blinked once, then twice, then glanced down at her feet. Not there. Nothing but white wisps of cloud twirling up her legs and enveloping everything beneath her knees. With a quick look around her, Fern confirmed that the cloud of fog had began to envelop the entire group of candidates, not just her. And, from what it looked like, she and the rest of them were heading straight into the center of the cloud.

Hm…cloud…fog…cover…

A smirk crawled onto her lips. Slowly, a plan was beginning to piece together in her mind. Because, to Fern, fog was not just _fog._ It was cover, and cover meant easy ways to slip away from the crowd unnoticed, and also meant easy ways to slip back in.

That meant she could go, observe, and then come back, and no one would ever have to know she was gone to begin with.

A Fern-style disappearing act.

After all, she really didn't want Gon or Killua or some annoying other persons to see her leave. She wouldn't put it past Gon to follow her—in fact, that seemed highly likely. If they saw her, Kurapika or Leorio might question her about it later, and she'd rather avoid answering those kinds of questions. She really did_ not_ feel like explaining her unnatural obsession with traps and the art of deception to her new group of associates. Fern had a feeling they would think that was a _little bit _strange. Seriously, it would be like this:

Leorio: So, uh, tell me again why you ran off to stare at a man-eating frog?

Fern: Because I'm a professional liar. See, I lie for a living, literally. And I love tricks to deceive people with. Oh, but I totally didn't lie to you about my name, or who I am, or anything, no I didn't lie to you at allllllll.

Leorio: LIAR!

…Yeah. Because _that _would go over well.

Fern sighed internally and glanced next to her to where Gon and Killua were running. Both had irritating sharp eyes, but hopefully with the fog covering her movements, she could escape without notice.

…Somehow, she highly doubted that.

But still, it was worth a try.

_Look left, look right. Great, it's clear._ Fern grinned. _Time to cross the street to Neverland. _

And so, while Gon and Killua seemed to be engaged in their own little conversation, Fern slowly, silently began to slow her jogging pace. The slower she ran, the farther she slipped back into the crowd, drawing farther and farther away from Gon and Killua and deeper into the mist. Like a ghost ,drifting away and becoming a mere gray shadow in the mist, invisible…unseen…gone….

The group disappeared into the gray mist of the distance.

Fern, jogging with her back towards them and her head over her shoulder, culd not resist the pleased grin spreading across her face. _Escape plan: Success._

Still with a triumphant smirk on her lips, she turned on her heal, splashing spatters of mud into the humid air, and began to sprinting away from the group—the exact opposite direction of where Satotsu was heading. But did it matter? No, not really. She could easily find him again. And besides, finding new ways to trick people was_ so_ much more exciting. And come on, it wasn't like she got a chance to observe this kind of beast every day of her life. Watching this would be like reading an extremely good documentary—she'd learn a_ ton_. _This_, Fern thought to herself excitedly, _now this is what I live for. Not running down endless dark hallways for hours on end. For this_. She grinned. _For tricks._

Now where was that frog again?

_Ah! _Fern's eyes lit up at the sight of the very, very discreet patch of moss on the ground that covered the frog. The gigantic frog itself was not visible—completely camouflaged into the muddy ground beneath it. The only way she could tell there was a trap was the uprooted soil around it, and the fact that the ground was broken and swelling like a shattered dome. But overall, it was a very well-hidden trap. No normal person would ever have noticed it.

Fern was not normal.

She jogged over to the trap, crouching to the ground. Her finger prodded the soil once, poke, and then her foot kicked the ground, tap. She waited.

Nothing.

_Safe, _she thought to herself. Fern wasn't stupid—she knew she could be tricked just as easily as all the other candidates if she wasn't careful. She had tested the weight of the ground and the steadiness of the soil to make sure the part of the ground she was standing on was not in the vicinity of the frog's bite.

Needless to say, it wasn't. And so, Fern danced around the edge of the trap, careful not to fall in. She proceeded with her investigation of the trap, this time evaluating the effectiveness of it.

. . .

Fern was positively beaming rainbows as she jogged away from the numerous (set off) traps behind her. (She couldn't help it. Throwing sticks in the frog's trap was irresistible. Plus, it worked. Dumb frog. ) Examining the frog's trap had taken less time than she estimated, and so she was left with extra time to chase after the sleep-inducing moths, lantern-holding, over-sized turtles, and a couple other deception-specialized beasts. Countless ideas for new traps surged through her head like an electric current- a pleasant one, though, that stimulated her brain and kept her body going.

Normal twelve-year old girls got excited over crushes, shopping sprees, and celebrities. But Fern?

Yeah, right. She got excited over tricking people, stealing, and new techniques of deception. Weird.

But then again, normal kids weren't hobos who lived in the most gigantic trash dump in the world….. which _also_ happened to be the government's secret.

But that's a story for another time.

Fern slowed to a stop. She stood for a while, still, but not frozen. Slowly, the tension eased from her body. Her shoulders lightened and fell into a gentle position of relaxation. Her face softened. Her breathing slowed, her heart a soft thumping in her ears. She cleared her mind completely of all worries.

And then she expanded. She reached out with her senses, and as though they were eyes and hands and arms, she searched buried herself in the earth, became one with it. The dirt beat with a strong thumping beneath her feet. The swamp pulsated with dark energy, alive as a being one in itself. She could feel the soft sludge beneath her bare feet, squishing between her toes and oozing across her grungy skin. The humid fog clinging to the contours of her body, and the slight breeze rustling through the trees.

To her right was a mutated bat, silent but watching with hawk-like yellow eyes. Beneath her, a small mole was burrowing through the wetlands and devouring a meter-long centipede.

Her aura extended, like slender tendrils of energy. With tiny anchors, they latched onto the earth and grew- roots in the soil beneath her. It spread, quickly; she could feel it moving, feel every footfall in on the ground, every shift in the wind, every breath passing through the swamp's beings. She released her Nen out around her and searched.

Satotsu's aura was easy to find.

Her eyes snapped open. A smirk curled the corners of her lips up and she started forward, graceful in her chase through the swamp. Her strings of nen tugged her toward the strong presence pulsating in the center of the swamp. Her feet glided forward and she moved without effort. It was in this state of ease that her mind began to wander, straying towards the mysterious power of Aura—or Nen, as Akulla called it—that she had just used.

Fern probably wouldn't have even known it existed if it weren't for Akulla teaching it to her. He knew a lot of things he probably wasn't supposed to know, and he never told her where he learned them from. But then again, she'd never really asked. After all, in her hometown—if it could be called that—no one cared what a person's background was, who his parents were, or where he came from. A man was just…_himself,_ and no one ever questioned that. Fern respected that.

She had a feeling Akulla was grateful for that.

Fern snapped out of her thoughts as she felt her feet sinking more into the mud with each step. A groan escaped her. She was a light-weight body, yes, but the mud was thick and greedy, and it sucked her small feet in like quick-sand. Her short stature merely made it worse. To the average adult it wouldn't have been very high, but Fern was neither average _nor _an adult, and thus the mud had already rose past her ankles. Thank god she wasn't wearing shoes, or else she would have been in some serious trouble.

Well, more trouble than she already was _in._

_God damn it, I'm wasting time!_ she complained angrily in her head as she struggled to lift her foot from the ground. With one last powerful jerk, her foot finally came unstuck. Fern was just about to celebrate, when the mud decided to be a (according to Fern) severe party pooper.

It swallowed her other foot up.

She growled in frustration. _Seriously? _Fern felt like slapping herself in the face in sheer disbelief. _Is this seriously happening to me?_

When she finally managed to yank_ that_ foot out of the mud, the strength of the thrust caused her whole body to fall backwards onto the mud, which quickly began dragging her downwards. Yes. Yes it was happening to her. She was going to _fail _because of mud.

Fern scowled furiously and began trying to get onto her feet, only to slip and fall again. She sank deeper. Fail! Because of freaking _mud_! How the hell did that happen?

She could not believe it.

Fern made another attempt to stand, only to slip and fall once again.

_Squelch._

The mud flew into the air and came raining back down on Fern's head like a downpour of goopy acid rain. It felt like slimy ice as it rolled down the bare skin of her arms. _Great, _Fern thought bitterly. She glowered. _I'm stuck. I'm covered in mud. If I don't get out soon I'm going to fail the exam. Oh, to hell with failing the exam—if I don't get out of her, I'm going to freaking DIE from DROWING in a SWAMP. _Her face grew darker._ And to top off the delicious crap-sicle, now there's some obnoxious idiot laughing at me—_

_Wait…Laughing?_

Her eyes widened and her head snapped up. That voice…was it possibly….?

Her gaze frantically scanned her surroundings until they landed on the object of her thoughts. Fern's face immediately dropped and she let out a loud groan of exasperation. She smacked her forehead with her hand, only to realize too late she had just gotten even more mud on her face. Shit.

The IDIOT that was watching her just laughed harder, now on the verge of hysteria. "Why?" Fern groaned in despair. "Why the hell does it have to be HIM?" Who was it, may you ask?

Why, Killua, of course. And yes, he's that the white-haired brat with a knack for being mean and picking on girls.

THAT Killua.

Well, shit. Life is good. In Charlotte's Chocolate Factory, maybe.

"B-Blondie!" the _idiot_ gasped out through breaks in laughter. "I can't believe this! You're stuck in mud!"

Fern rolled her eyes irritably and crossed her arms against her chest. "No, I thought I was just taking a little mud bath here, since getting sucked into swamps is so much _fun_!" she quipped, her voice practically dripping with sarcasm.

Killua jabbed his finger at her, clutching his stomach. He doubled over in laughter. "You—You-You're face!" he got out between breaths, "You look like a horse crapped on you!"

Fern scowled at him in annoyance, though a slight embarrassed blush colored her cheeks. She did _not_ like being laughed at or ridiculed, and besides, it wasn't_ her_ fault that the mud was so thick and squishy she got stuck in it! "Well," she started back in a flustered huff, "you always look like that."

Suddenly, Killua stopped laughing and just stared. And stared. And stared. And blinked….

And promptly burst out laughing again.

Fern's gaped. _This brat-! _She closed her eyes and ground her teeth together in irritation. "It would really be helpful…" she began. Her eye twitched as his laughter howled over her words.

"Ahahaha-Ahah-Ah—"

"—if you would _STOP GUFFAWING LIKE AN IDIOT ON CRACK_ and COME OVER HERE AND _HELP ME_!"

Killua froze.

And then he laughed harder.

Fern let out an angered hiss, her cheeks tinting an even brighter red. Her fists tightened at her side, finger nails digging into soft skin. _If murdering him wouldn't get me killed myself then god..._Her eyes narrowed into a furious glare and she glowered at the hysterical boy in front of her. She was literally shaking with anger. _I want to punch his face in sooo badly…_A small smirk overcame her. _But it wouldn't look any different anyways. _

"…Are you done yet?" Fern asked in a forced monotone after an excruciatingly long (well, to Fern, anyway) wait.

Killua's laughter had finally died down to a few snickers here and there, and now he was just watching her, amused. He shrugged. "I don't know, maybe?" His teal eyes flickered down at her and a teasing grin spread across his face. "Are you done rolling around in the mud yet?"

"If you find it so entertaining why don't you come roll around with me?" She glared at him. "Or would you rather care to help me get out of here like the proper gentleman that you _aren't_?" Fern finished with a sneer.

Killua smirked. "Maybe…" he drawled. He shrugged nonchalantly and eyed her, as if bored.

She gazed at him expectantly.

A mischievous grin spread across his face. "…Or maybe not," he said. And then he turned and began to saunter away.

Fern's jaw dropped in shock. "What?" she shrieked at his retreating back. "Get back here, you freaking PMSing, mentally-impaired, too short, early-graying, psychotic, skateboard-riding, sexism-practicing, wanna-be-hip-hopping, albino-tiger like jerk!" she finished out of breath.

There was a silence.

And then Fern paused, her fury vanishing into sudden taunting amusement. A thought occurred to her and a slick smirk slipped onto her coy, now calm face. "_Oooooor_, are you just too afraid of cooties to help out an innocent little girl like me?" she taunted with a bat of her eyelashes.

Killua paused.

Her smirk grew. Fern reached down into the mud, closed her fingers around the brown sticky swamp gunk. She thrust her arm into the air and threw the ball of wet, mushy soil at the back of Killua's head.

_Sploosh_

Right on target.

"What the..!"The white-haired boy spun around in shock, the hand that wasn't holding his skateboard flying up to his hair. His fingers poked hesitantly at the brown stickiness clinging to the strands. His look of astonishment slowly transformed to disgust as he pulled his hand back to his face to see it covered in the swamp mud. He groaned. "Blondie…"

Fern blinked in surprise. "Whoa…" she breathed, in slight awe. She raised an amused eyebrow at Killua. "That actually hit?" She stared at him for a while longer before shaking her head and shooting him an expectant look. "Anyway, so now that you're not walking away anymore, would you _puh-lease_ come over here and help me? Because, like, we all know you're a jerk already. You don't need to prove you're a ditching, wimpy asshole too." Then she paused, and added, "Who's also afraid of cooties."

He himself seemed to be a bit in shock that she'd managed to hit him. But that shock was quickly hidden, and out came the mischievous kitty-persona that she knew so well to be his obnoxious character. "Fine," he conceded. His amused teal eyes met her annoyed blue ones. "But you owe me for this one, Blondie."

She ignored that last comment."Before I sink all the way down to my neck, please!"

Killua stared at her for one last moment before shrugging aloofly and beginning to walk towards her. He took a step into the mud and grimaced as his foot plunged into the icky gunk. "Ew!" he complained, yanking his foot back. He shook the mud off his shoe and turned to look at Fern with his face twisted in disgust. "What_ is_ this stuff?"

Fern just sat in her spot in the mud and shrugged. "Dunno," she said. Which was an absolute lie, since Fern knew pretty much everything someone _could_ know about the soil's composition. Not that she was interested in soil—to her it was just..well, dirt, but she just so happened to pick up some abandoned book on it one time, so she read it. It just so happened she had a good memory, and thus, remembered. Still, she really didn't feel it necessary to launch into a long, detailed explanation about ground, decomposition, soil, and dead animal remains with some idiot jerk that wouldn't even listen anyways. And thus, the lie.

Besides, he probably knew already anyway. Fern might have liked to call him an idiot, but she knew that wasn't true. Well, he was an idiot, in terms of manners and treating girls and all that other social crap, but in terms of deception, sneaking around, poison, and other….not-so-standard things? Not so much. In fact, he was a genius.

Speaking of Killua, for a genius, he was kind of acting like an idiot. Serious. He was just standing there, staring at the mud in disdain.

"Hurry up!" Fern snapped impatiently. She glowered and crossed her arms across her chest, glaring at him stubbornly. "I don't have all day here, and neither do you! If we don't move quickly we're both going to fail!" For that matter, why had he even came back and found her?

Maybe he was bored.

"Tch, troublesome girl," Killua muttered.

She pretended not to hear that.

Killua grimaced at her one last time before finally stepping into the mud, his face twitching as he did so. Disgust was practically written all over his face when he finally reached where Fern lay, covered in the stuff and practically drowning in it too. His frown deepened into a clearly disgusted grimace—almost pained—but, after much hesitation, reluctantly extended a hand down to her.

Fern reached up and took his hand, quickly and swiftly pulling herself onto her bare feet. "By the way," she said as she rose to her feet," you look constipated."

Killua shivered, wiping his hands on her dress before shoving them back in his pocket. Another shudder ripped through him. "I'm not like you. I'm not a pig who liked rolling around in mud," he retorted. "I'm actually human. And act like it."

"Since when?" she muttered sarcastically under her breath. Fern grimaced at all the mud dripping off of the back of her dress and made an effort to try to wipe some of it off, only to let out a groan of frustration as it merely made it worse. "Damn shitty, mother-fucking mud," she grumbled under her breath.

"What? Did I just hear-Ah, so Blondie's got a dirty mouth." Killua said and his mouth curled into a taunting smirk. Hands still in his pockets, he leaned forward, eyeing her with condescending half-lidded eyes. "Does she have a dirty mind too?"

_Fwhap!_

She whacked him on the back of the head. Holding her hand and ignoring the groaning boy in front of her, she turned back to shaking out her hopeless dress. "Yes, I have a shitty mouth and an ever shittier mind, and if you put your disgusting face in mine one more time then I'll be wiping this_ swamp_ shit all over your freaking angel face." _And,_ she thought to herself with a roll of her eyes_, if Akulla were here, _I'd _be wiping swamp shit off _my_ face for _swearing_ so god damn much. _

Ignoring Killua's cursing at her (oh, who had the dirty mouth now?) , she blocked him from her mind to focus on attempting to make her way out of the mud. Key word: attempt.

Needless to say, Fern didn't make it very far.

On her second baby step (each of which were made with extreme concentration and caution) her back foot suddenly plunged and sank into the thick mud. Fern's eyes widened and she let out a squeak of alarm as she found herself falling off balance. In a panic and desperate attempt to save herself from the holy terror of a face-plant in mud, she threw her arms out and grabbed onto whatever was next to her.

Which, just so happened to be Killua's arm.

"Hey!" he yelled in protest, lifting his arm and frantically shaking it in an attempt to make her let go. "You're going to get me covered in mud! Let go!"

She clang tighter. "Shut up!" Fern screamed back. "It's not like I _like_ touching you! If I had any other choice, I would choose it over you any day!"

He shook harder. "Well if you don't like it, then get off me!"

She squeezed his arm even tighter. "I can't, you dumbass!"

"Why not!"

"I'll_ fall_!"

"I don't care!"

"Well, _I _do!"

"_I _don't!"

"Jerk!"

"Weirdo!"

"Bastard!"

"Wimp!"

"Brat!"

"Ugly!"

"Idiot!"

"Girl!"

"…._Ugh_!" Fern cried in frustration. "Just shut up already, okay? You agreed to help me get out of here, didn't you? So just get over your god damn complex with mud, and freaking _help me_!" She paused and glared at the boy, breathing heavily from her outburst. "And for god's sake, since when did being a girl become an insult?"

Killua groaned loudly, eyes rolling upwards. "Girls are so annoying!" he complained to the sky.

That earned him another whap to the head from Fern.

"And violent!" he added.

"Shut _UP_ and move!"

And so the two twelve-year olds began their gross, mud-filled trek across the wetlands of the swamp, the hot-tempered blonde girl clinging heavily onto the mildly annoyed-looking boy's arm for support. It was long, it was grueling, it was frustrating, and it was most certainly nerve-grating, but…

Eventually they got through it.

. . .

When the clock's hand hovered five minutes before twelve, a mud-covered Fern and an equally dirty Killua burst out of the trees into the clearing where the second exam center took place.

Fern stumbled forward, before bending over with her hands on her knees and sweat dripping down her face as she struggled to catch her breath. "Finally," she groaned through pants. "We made it."

After the two had finally managed to stumble their way out of the swampy part, moving had been much easier. Fern hastily detached herself from Killua's arm, and they sprinted through the forest. Fern used her Nen to reach out and locate Satotsu's, and Killua followed her in bafflement. Fern had literally been running as fast as her legs could carry her, and, mind you, that was quite fast for a stealthy girl like her that was used to making quick escapes from angry shop owners. The run had only lasted a couple minutes, but sprinting that hard for such a long distance was something that used a lot of energy. Needless to say, Fern was quite out of breath, and exhausted. Her legs felt like Jell-o—or at least, she assumed they did. What the hell did Jell-O even feel like? Fern didn't even know—no matter how much she'd dreamed of it, she'd never been granted the luxury of tasting such a sweet food before.

However, much to Fern's dismay, Killua wasn't nearly as tired as her, though she could tell he was at least a bit exhausted from the small beads of sweat accumulating on his forehead. He glanced up at the clock. "With five minutes to spare," he remarked smugly.

"Yep," Fern agreed as she straightened up. She felt a grin spreading across her face. "Just barely in time." She turned to look at Killua when he remained silent, only to see him gazing off into the woods blankly. "…Uh, hello? Killua?"

"What?" he responded, but his eyes remained on the darkness of the woods.

Fern's eyes narrowed and she followed his gaze, but the only thing she could see was darkness. She frowned. _It's like he expects something to come out of there…_she thought to herself. Her frown deepened. _But what is he waiting for? _

His eyes suddenly widened and his face split into a grin. "Gon!" he exclaimed.

Fern blinked in surprise. _Gon? _Her head snapped back to the woods, her eyes searching the darkness for the small black-haired boy's figure. _ Where?_

The said boy in question emerged from the darkness of the forest moments later, his familiar fishing rod slung over his shoulder and Kurapika trailing right behind him. Gon let a grin of his own spread across his face as he caught sight of Killua and 'Leaf', and he raced up to the two excitedly. Kurapika, on the other hand, just stood with a relieved look on his face, wiping sweat from his forehead and breathing heavily.

"Looks like we made it on time," Kurapika remarked.

Fern smiled at the two familiar faces. "Gon-san! Kurapika-san!" Suddenly, realizing there was someone missing from the group, she glanced around and frowned in confusion. "….Leorio-san?"

Gon opened his mouth, looking like he was going to reply to that, but was cut off by the loud _BRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING_ that resonated throughout the clearing, silencing all of the chitter-chatter and calling all of the attention to Satotsu.

Fern turned to the man, watching him closely.

"Time's up!" he announced. "Everyone did a nice job. This- Bisuka Forest Park- is the Second Exam Center."

It didn't seem like he was going to say anything more, so as the candidates quietly resumed their conversations and chattering, Fern turned to Gon and asked again, "Isn't Leorio-san with you guys?"

Gon frowned and shook his head. "No. Hisoka should have him."

Fern frowned in bewilderment. "Hisoka?" she repeated, puzzled. What? Had Hisoka and Leorio magically became best buds while she and Killua rolled around in mud? …Somehow that didn't seem all too likely.

But Gon was already off searching for the man, and so she turned to Kurapika, only to see he had gone as well. So, finally turning to Killua, she asked, "What the hell did I miss?"

Killua shrugged. "Right after you disappeared, Gon heard the candidates screaming and got all worried about Kurapika and Leorio. He ran back to help them, and I guess…" he paused, his narrowed eyes flickering to the cotton candy blue haired jester in the crowd of candidates, "…I guess he ran into some trouble with Hisoka."

Oh. So they _weren't_ best buds.

Fern's eyes widened. "And he survived?" To her, Hisoka didn't really seem like the kind of person to let anyone who crossed paths with him live. And even if Hisoka did let Gon live, how did Gon find his way back to the second exam center? Her face twisted in confusion. "How did he manage that?"

"I don't _know_," he whined, frowning as though all the thinking hurt his head. "Ask him that yourself!"

Fern rolled her eyes. "Gee,_ you're_ helpful," she remarked sarcastically.

Satotsu cleared his throat again, and Fern, along with all the other candidates, looked up at him again to find him now standing on a branch of a true. "Well then," he said. "We'll be getting back on track." He gazed out at everyone in the crowd with a piercing, intense look in his half-lidded dull gray eyes. "Congratulations," he finally announced. "The people who have made it here have passed the First Exam."

Fern grinned.

"I wish you good luck on the second exam."

"I'm so glad!" Gon exclaimed immediately in relief.

Fern jumped in surprise when she saw the black-haired boy standing beside her. "Gon?" she cried. "When did you get there?"

He laughed and rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Sorry, did I surprise you?"

"Well, yeah, but…" Fern trailed off, not knowing what to say. Eventually she just shrugged. "Whatever." A new thought crossed her mind and a smile broke across her face. "So," she began, grinning giddily. "We passed!"

Killua silently emerged from the crowd and stood on the other side of Gon. He smirked a bit, hands shoved in his pockets. "We're on level two now."

Gon blinked and pivoted his head around. "We passed level one."

The white-haired boy smirked and raised an amused eyebrow at him. "What kind of magic did you use?" he questioned skeptically. "I thought you would _never _come back."

"Oh yeah," Fern continued, eyeing Gon curiously. "I was actually wondering that too. How did you make it to the Second Exam Center without Satotsu leading you?" Inwardly, she frowned. _Does he have Nen or something?_

"Oh," Gon said, as if it were nothing. "I just followed Leorio's smell."

_Smell?_

Fern blinked, just waiting for the information to sink in.

And then she gaped.

"_**SMELL?"**_ both Killua and her exclaimed in unison.

"You followed Leorio's smell?" Killua yelled, eyes bugging out of their sockets.

Fern just kept gaping.

Gon nodded. "Yeah."

"…You really_ are_ weird."

Fern snapped her mouth shut, and shook her head to clear it from the shocked daze. "My sentiments _exactly_," she said, staring at Gon in a mixture of awe and astonishment.

Killua snorted. "I wouldn't be saying anything if I were you, Blondie."

She glared at him. "You're pretty weird yourself, smart one." Her eyes flickered back to Gon and she lowered her voice to whisper. "But still…" She grimaced. "I don't think anyone could beat _that_."

"…I think he's secretly a dog," Killua muttered in reply.

She nodded seriously, but kept her eye on Gon. "I think so too."

Gon just laughed though, cocking his head to the side and smiling innocently. "You think so?"

Fern stared at the boy, not sure whether to gawk, scream, laugh, or just cry. Instead, she just settled for sighing and shaking her head with a slight smile on her face. "You,Gon, are one of the strangest people I've ever met, and believe me, that is a serious achievement." Her icy blue eyes softened to a warm baby blue. "But…"

Her face broke out into a wide, bright smile as she reached forward and patted Gon on the head.

"…it's a good kind of strange," she finished warmly, pulling her hand back and just grinning.

Gon blinked at her, before slowly reaching up to pat the spot on his head she had touched. Confusion marred his face for a moment before he brought his hand down to his face, and his confusion morphed into shock. "Ahhhh!" he cried. "You got mud all over my head!"

Fern snickered into her palm. "Hey, I can't be the only dirty one, now can I?" she asked, grinning mischievously.

"Leeeee-af!" Gon whined in complaint.

Killua patted Gon on the shoulder comfortingly. Fern quirked an eyebrow at Killua's muddy hand that was sneakily and very, very discreetly wiping off the gunk onto Gon's shoulder. Fern's eyes snapped back up to Killua's, and she had to resist the urge to giggle when she saw the smirk he was hiding. "Gon, don't feel bad," he said. He locked gazes with Fern for a moment, and she saw the devilish twinkle in his eyes. "She's just a real nasty hag. She did that to me too."

"Hey!" Fern protested, but she couldn't bring herself to stay angry. In fact, it was taking all her energy not to burst out laughing at what Killua was doing to the oblivious Gon.

Killua's grin gradually took on a rather Chesire Cat-ish quality. For a moment, Fern swore she could see whiskers and two cat-like ears popping out from his head. He grinned, withdrew his mud-covered hand from Gon's newly swamp-dirt-slathered shoulder and slunk away into the crowd.

Fern rolled her eyes and muffled a giggle behind her hand as she slowly slipped off after Killua. _Well, if he's high-tailing it out of there, then there's no way in hell I'm staying behind to get beat up on…_

Moments later came the cry the two had been waiting for.

"AhhhH! My shoulder!"

Fern and Killua shared a look before promptly bursting out into laughter.

. . .

End of Chapter 7

Question for Reviews: What did you think about the Killua/Fern fluff scene?

That's all for this week, Peeps. Review, please!


	9. Pigs

When the clock struck twelve noon, the candidates gathered in front of the door to the Second Exam Center, anticipation washing through the crowd in thick, tense waves. All eyes were pinned to the door as it _excruciatingly_ slowly opened to reveal…

….

…..

To reveal….

…..

To_ reveal_…..

Her teeth ground together in irritation. _How long could this thing possibly take to freakin op—_

…To reveal the two new examiners.

The first thing that Fern saw was pink. Shockingly bright, flamingo pink. And when her eyes adjusted to _that_, she was shocked yet_ again_ by a huge, over-sized, unbelievably round belly sticking out from behind the blotch of pink.

She couldn't believe it. Who would? It wasn't every day that one saw a gigantic, fat man with a uni-brow and a dorky look on his face, accompanied by a normal-sized young woman. But no, heaven forbid a normal-looking person appears! The woman managed to look even more strange and outlandish than the mouthless Satotsu, with her pink hair that stuck out of her head in multiple finger-shaped pigtails, and skimpy black bra with a see-through fishnet top over it. _Geez,_ Fern thought to herself with a huff, _if Satotsu is a monkey, then this girl is a twig wearing a pink sea anemone as a hat. _

This was the Hunter Exam, yes. The crack-head and wacko extraordinaire. But still. A fatso and a whore?

_Really?_

Fern's eyebrow twitched. _Greeaaaaaat. _

But it turned out the Second Exam wasn't going to be as bad as she thought it was going to be. Or maybe it was. But the examiners had said it was cooking, and Fern loved cooking, so, it couldn't be that bad…

Right?

Then again, the rules of the exam were that the examiner had to _like_ the candidates' food. They were first to prepare Buhara, the gigantic fatso, a meal. And, if he passed the candidate, they would go on to make food for Menchi, the pink-haired woman. The exam would only end when the examiners became full. It was a seemingly simple test that involved a lot of skills- cooking only the most obvious. Logical reasoning, observation, and analytical skills were also being put to the test here.

But the problem lay in the fact that Fern wasn't a professional cook. She wasn't a trained chef or even a seasoned cooking school student. Hell, she'd never even_ touched_ in a real kitchen before, held a quality cooking knife, or cooked with the standard ingredients.

However, she did have experience. She always enjoyed cooking, even though she never had a real stove. Heat was something she could generate easily due to her Nen, and it wasn't as though cooking over the old fashioned sticks-and-stones camp fire was particularly hard to deal with anyway. Creativity in meals was never something Fern fell short of. Whether the dish was preserved cold cuts or simply dried fruits and a piece of lightly cooked spam, or maybe it was wild dog—she'd hunted and cooked those animals before—well, whatever it was, Fern always had a way to make it taste somewhat decent. She'd always had a way with food. And it was only natural she would learn the important survival skill. With no one but a boy a year younger than her, and a grandma almost a century _older_ than her, there wasn't anyone BUT her that could cook, and thus came the emergence of Fern's cooking hobbies.

But that didn't change the fact that Fern had never worked in a real kitchen before, nor the fact that she never had anyone to instruct her. Akulla and Bea didn't seem to mind her cooking, but then again, living in a trash dump with basically nothing but things Fern had stolen, they couldn't have afforded to be that picky to begin with…

Fern sighed and shook her head to clear her thoughts. She couldn't be _that_ horrendous of a cook! ...And even if she _was_, there had to be some candidates even worse than her. Heck, some of them probably hadn't even cooked in their whole lives!

Speaking of which…

"Hey," Fern said.

Leorio, Kurapika, Killua, and Gon—all of which were standing around her—turned to look at her.

"Have you guys ever cooked before?" she asked. She eyed them with wide, curious eyes.

Kurapika sighed. "Only on occasion," he conceded.

"I know how to make Ketchup look like blood," Killua volunteered.

Leorio groaned and clutched at his head, as if wracking his brain. "..Does toast count?"

"I have!" Gon exclaimed confidently.

Fern blinked and glanced over at him, surprised. "Really?" she asked. Gon had? She would've thought Kurapika would be the one…the guy looked like the perfect housewife. "What can you make?"

Gon smiled. "There's a lot, but the dish I'm best at is raw egg over rice!" he exclaimed triumphantly.

"Egg over rice?" Leorio yelled loudly behind her, aghast.

"W-well," Kurapika said unsteadily. "I suppose that is a dish…"

But Fern just blinked. "Oh," she said shortly. She shrugged and offered Gon a small smile. "Cool."

She didn't see a problem with him making raw egg over rice. As far as she was concerned, that dish sounded mouthwatering. After all, it wasn't everyday a homeless girl like her got to eat rice. Although she loved the grain, cooking it was kind of hard when you didn't own a rice pot, or even an electrical circuit to plug it into. And pure water to cook it in was hard to come across without lugging her way all the way down to the river…and usually that was polluted too. Everything in Meteor City was polluted in one way or another, even the people themselves. It wasn't called the biggest trash dump in the world for nothing.

The people in it were trash too.

To the rest of the world, anyway.

Fern let out a quiet, discouraged sigh. _Oh, the unfortunate woes of my nutritional life, _she thought to herself pitifully. She sighed again. _Or rather, lack thereof._

"…What about you?" Kurapika inquired.

Fern glanced up at him, thoughtful. What was she supposed to tell him? 'I kind of secretly hitch-hike my way to the nearest city, steal money and non-perishable food from people, smuggle food back to my hometown—which, by the way, is a _dump_—and then divide it in the tiniest portions possible for myself, Bea, and Akulla so we don't run out of food too fast? And if I get lucky, or run out of the stolen food and am particularly desperate, I cook wild deer meat freshly hunted and skinned by my own hands, cook it over a campfire I _also _started, and then eat it off a stick I found on the ground? ' Sure. _Suuuure._ Inwardly, she rolled her eyes. _ I'd love to see how well _that_ would go over with him. _

So instead of saying all that, she just shrugged. "…I've cooked my fair share of interesting dishes," she finally answered. It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the whole truth either. But did that really matter? Fern thought not.

Kurapika seemed to accept her vague answer and nodded. "I see. Do you think this exam will be harder than the last?" he questioned.

Fern nodded. "Probably. Since the examiners this time are epicure hunters, they'll probably pick some rare dish with super obscure ingredients. And they might get real picky with the taste and quality of the food too."

Leorio groaned. "Why cooking?"

Killua shrugged. "Dunno. Now shut it, Pops, the fat guy's saying something."

Fern turned back to the examiner to see Buhara patting his rumbling stomach and licking his lips hungrily.

"Okay then," the overly-large man started slowly. His eyes seemed to go out of focus as drool dripped from his mouth. "My menu is barbequed pig."

"Barbequed Pig?" Hanzo asked from somewhere in the crowd.

Buhara bobbed his head enthusiastically. "My favorite! The world's most violent pig that lives in the forest." He licked his lips and his eyes seemed to flicker in joy. "Great Stamp!"

_Great Stamp? _

Fern frowned as the ground beneath her began to rumble. _What the—_

Her head snapped up as a huge stampede of the biggest, fattest, most gigantic pigs she had ever seen conveniently appeared on the horizon, as if on cue, their figures growing larger and larger with each passing moment. She barely had time to register anything, before she realized they were running towards her and the group of candidates full speed ahead. If she didn't act quickly, those pigs were going to be wiping the floor with smooshed Fern-bits.

Well, shit.

Fern's mind snapped to work.

With adrenaline pumping through her veins and a sudden burst of energy, Fern bent her knees, tensed her muscles, and, at the last split second, propelled herself backward into the air in a long, high, flying back flip. Time seemed to slow as her tiny body soared through the air, her back arching as she passed over the heads of the candidates. But eventually the moment was over, and she was dropping through the air again, steadily and smoothly, but at a definite rate. As the open piece of ground came into view, Fern let out a small sigh, closed her eyes, flipped her lithe body in a smooth circle, and landed silently and smoothly on her bare feet in the grass.

Perfect.

_Akulla…I freakin' owe you my life. _

Her calm face cracked into a smirk, and not a moment later did the stampede of pigs come thundering through the place where she had been standing moments before, knocking candidates into the air with the large horns on their noses and trampling others into the ground.

A low whistle sounded from above her. "Fancy," a familiar voice remarked teasingly. "Or maybe just lucky. Didn't know you could do that, Blondie."

Opening her eyes, Fern gazed up to see Killua standing on a tree branch above her, a familiar smirk on his face. Her eyebrow twitched in annoyance. "Well now you do," she replied snarkily, irritation seeping into her voice. "Big deal, you didn't know me at all a couple hours ago. Unless you're like, a stalker or something."

Killua grinned. "What if I said I am?"

"I'd castrate you. And then I'd feed you to Buhara, cause that fatty looks like he would eat anything, even crap like you. Plus-

But she didn't have time to say anything more, because a moment later a giant Great Stamp came crashing through the thick bushes behind her, its hooves crushing shrubbery beneath its feet and grinding pebbles into dust with its weight. As soon as it entered the clearing and the body of Fern came into view, the pig let out a loud, ferocious snort, stomped it's leg, and hurdled itself at Fern.

"Well," Fern said calmly, her eyebrows rising as she took in the sight of the red-faced cross between a rhino and a hog thundering towards her. "…Shit."

Jumping to the side right before the Great Stamp drove its big horn into her body, she avoided getting trampled once. But then the pig turned around, even more angry, and hurdled itself at her again. She dodged again, and the cycle continued.

Fern engaged in a deadly dance with the great pig, her movements graceful and stealthy as she jumped from side to side. It was almost as though she were weightless. The pig was not so composed. It threw itself at her like a hound at a piece of meat, growing more red-faced and sloppy as time wore on.

Fern quickly grew impatient with the Great Stamp's antics. _I'm going to end this,_ she decided. _Quickly_. And so, as the pig came at her once more, instead of dodging, instead of running away, she stood right in the path of the Great Stamp.

It roared and barreled towards her. Furious. Strong. And undeniably _stupid._

Fern smirked. At the last moment, she dropped onto her back, flattening her body against the floor. The pig, startled with her sudden disappearance, came to a skidding halt, its head snapping back and forth, frantically trying to locate its victim.

Fern, on the other hand, was lying beneath the pig's belly, out of sight. Her smirk grew as her slender arm shot up from beneath its body, grabbed the Great Stamp's tiny tail in her hand, and gave the curly appendage the hardest, strongest, most violent _yank_ she could.

"_SQREEEAAAAAAAA!"_

The Great Stamp let out a long, loud squeal that sounded more like a dying cow than anything else. Fern wanted to cringe at the ear-grating sound, but she didn't have time. The Great Stamp began thrashing like a fish out of water. It jumped and shook, raising its rear high in the air frantically to get Fern to release hold of its sensitive tail. She did not let go, clinging to the tail like her life depended on it.

"No way, Mr. Piggy," Fern muttered under her breath. She smirked. "I'm not _that _easy to get rid of."

Fern tightened her grip, ignoring the pig's wild thrashing. Suddenly, the momentum of the pig's thrusting rear sent Fern's light-weighted body swinging out from underneath the pig's belly like she was a fish attached to the end of a fishing rod. She landed smoothly on the pigs back. The only noise was from the pig as it grunted from the sudden weight dropped onto its back.

A devilish smile spread across her face. "Gotcha," she sang, eerily cheerful. And then she lifted her leg, reared back, and brought her heel crashing down on the pig's forehead.

The Great Stamp froze.

_Slam!_

Its eyes rolled back in its sockets.

Fern, still smiling smugly at her achievements, leapt off the pig's back and landed smoothly on the grass beside it.

…

…_.._

…_.Thud. _

The pig collapsed.

The blonde girl stood silently for a moment, perfectly still and quiet, before the frozen stillness was swept away by a strong gale of wind. The grass rustled beneath her feet, brushing and tickling the bare skin of her ankles. She felt the wind's fingers running through her hair, dislodging mud and untangling the strands at the roots. It was strong, cool breeze like a breath right from the Arctic's lips. She stood there for a little, content.

And then, she smiled suddenly, clapped her hands together and whipped around. "And that's how it's done," she joked to herself, gazing down happily at the pig's unconscious body. She paused, and then burst out laughing a moment later.

When Fern finally calmed herself down, she sighed, placed her hands on her hips and stared at the pig before her with a slight frown on her face. "Now, how shall I cook you? Skinning? Speared alive? Smoked? Toasted just brown enough to still be breathing?" She brought her hand up to her chin and gazed up at the sky in thought. "Well, the examiner asked for barbequed, and to do that I would have to cook the whole damn thing over an open flame on a spit…"

Fern sighed and ran a hand through her now-mud-flaked hair. "Stupid manicure, pedicure, epicure-whatever- hunters. Why so picky?" She stared at the pig before her, at its heavy body and size that was more than three-times hers…

And then she groaned and slapped her forehead with her palm. "Great," she groaned. "How am I supposed to carry this thing? I sure as hell am not dragging it like a sack of potatoes. "

She heard laughter from behind her, and turned to see Killua. He was lounged languidly against a tree with a knocked out pig held over his head like a trophy. She bristled as she saw the pig. It looked like the whole thing's weight was held up by just one of Killua's arms! The hell? What was he, Hercules or something? Atlas? Super man-jerk?

"Not fair," she grumbled jealously under her breath.

Killua grinned. "Having trouble?" he asked tauntingly, purposefully making a show of being able to hold the pig up with ease. "What- need help lifting that?"

"No."

He raised a skeptical eyebrow. "So…I'm supposed to believe you can lift that thing all by yourself?"

Her cheeks flushed slightly and her bottom lip stuck out in a slight pout. Fern wasn't quite aware of it, but later, she would be informed that, at that moment, she looked remarkably like a puppy with wounded pride. "…..No," she finally admitted grudgingly.

Killua raised an eyebrow, looking extremely amused. "Then you need help."

"No."  
>He grinned crookedly. "Yeah."<p>

….

…

….

"Well? What are you waiting for? Carry it over there for me already, you stupid white-haired, super-jerk, stalking, sexist piece of shit! Before my hair looks like yours!"

**. . .**

_**DINGALINGALINGALING**_

"The end!" Menchi announced as she rang the bell to signal the end of the first part of the second exam. "Seventy-one barbequed pigs completed!"

The group of candidates shared similar looks of awe. Feelings of disbelief, shock, and horror were written upon their faces as they gaped at the huge pile of bones next to Buhara, and then up at the giant man himself, who sat there looking pleased, licking his lips and patting his overly-round stomach.

"Whoa."

"Impossible!"

"How did he eat that much?"

"H-he's a _monster_."

Gon seemed to be the only one smiling. "Hunters really are amazing people!" he exclaimed in awe.

"They're not people," Leorio said.

Beside him, Killua's face twisted slightly with distaste. "I don't want to be like that…" he trailed off, shuddering a bit.

Kurapika, on the other hand, was staring at Buhara intensely, a deep frown on his face. "This is unnatural," he commented seriously. He seemed strangely disturbed, like there had been an earthquake shaking the core of his being. "It's odd. It's clear that the amount he ate is greater than his body weight!"

Fern nodded, her eyes wider than saucers as she gawked at the huge pile of bones. Her gaze flickered between Buhara and his pile of bones. "That shouldn't be possible!" she exclaimed in agreement. "Well-not just that- since he probably consumes such abnormally monstrous portions on a regular day-to-day basis, he should be displaying more symptoms! Overeating can cause risks of hypertension, heart disease, stroke, diabetes, high blood pressure, lung and breathing problems, endocrine problems, cancer, gall bladder disease, arthritis, bone deterioration, sleep apnea, and many others, and yet—yet," she sputtered, shocked, " he appears to have none of these!"

Kurapika nodded firmly. In deep, strenuous thought, he lowered his chin into his hand and narrowed his eyes at Buhara. "Consuming that much at one time should also cause the intestines and the digestive system harm," he remarked. "And that much fat from so much meat surely should be bearing ill effects on his heart."

"And overeating to that extent should be near impossible!" Fern exclaimed. Her eyebrows were drawn together tightly. "His stomach should not be able to hold all that food. It just…there's not enough space! If he were to consume that much, he should at least be regurgitating some of it!"

"Um, guys?" Leorio interjected, smiling nervously. "I don't think you have to think that hard about it."

Fern blanched suddenly and dropped into a crouched position, arms wound tightly around her stomach. "_Uuuuugh,"_ she moaned in pain.

Kurapika snapped out of his scientific state and stared down at her, concerned. "Are you alright?"

"Upset stomach?" Leorio inquired, not a hint of amusement in his voice. His mood had switched drastically from amused exasperation to concerned seriousness. He lifted his suitcase in the air. "I've got medicine in my briefcase."

"No…" she groaned. Fern squeezed her eyes shut and her clutch tightened on her stomach.

"No, what?" Leorio asked. He began to sift through his suitcase, looking at various medicines, pills and notes. "Do you have abdominal pains? Cramps? Maybe from running so much? Have you ever had an appendix transplant? Did you eat anything that tasted funny, was past its expiration date or was cooked incorrectly? Do you have any medical conditions such as irritable bowel syndr—

"_No_," she moaned again, this time with more force.

Leorio looked up from his suitcase and blinked. "Then what?"

"All this …" she began before trailing off into a groan.

Leorio and Kurapika drew closer. "All this?" they prompted.

She gulped. "All this illogical stuff is making my stomach hurt…"

Leorio and Kurapika nearly fell over in disbelief.

"I-illogical?" Leorio repeated shrilly. "You're stomach hurts from illogical things?"

Fern nodded gravely. "Yes."

Kurapika scratched his cheek uneasily. "Well, I suppose that could, perhaps…" he trailed off uncertainly.

_GROoooooWL._

Fern blushed, laughing sheepishly and rubbing the back of her head. "…Or maybe I'm just hungry."

Kurapika and Leorio fell over. …Almost.

"_You're_ the illogical one!" Leorio shrieked, quickly regaining his senses. "Why didn't you think of that first?"

Fern shrugged and began to stand up, dusting the back of her dress. "I don't know," she said calmly. "I just don't normally… get hungry that…fast…I guess." Her brows furrowed in a sort of confused fashion. Fern didn't really understand. It was strange. How was she this hungry already? She'd had a piece of steak and a bread roll just earlier today. That was only five or six hours ago. Usually, she went much longer without even a nibble, so…why was she so hungry now?

Fern blinked in realization. _Oh_, she thought. _It must have been all the running_. A lot of exercise had her body quickly burning all the energy from the food, and now she guessed she needed more. Fern frowned in thought and tilted her head to the side. _But….do I really want to eat right now? Or could I wait till after the second exam…or the third…or fourth or fifth or whenever they decide to give us a break? _Her stomach growled again.

_Damn…._She sighed. _I don't speak stomach-speak but hell, I think that was a no._

"You know," Leorio said, breaking her from her thoughts, "I'm hungry too."

"I must agree," Kurapika agreed calmly. "That running must have really taken a toll on us all."

Fern glanced at them, then at her stomach, and finally at the bag slung over her shoulder, the strap crossing her chest and the pouch resting on her hip…and then she sighed. "…Fine," Fern conceded reluctantly. She looked down and reached for the sack on her hip, prying it open just enough for her small hand to fit through.

Leorio blinked. "What are you doing?"

"Flying in the sky with all the dead pigs Buhara just stuffed down his throat…what does it look like?" Fern replied as she rummaged through the bag.

Leorio frowned, but remained silent. Kurapika appeared to be highly curious as well. Inside the bag, her fingers curled around a thick, cold object wrapped in plastic. She grinned and withdrew her hand.

Kurapika and Leorio both stared at it in bewilderment, as if she had pulled an entire city out of her mouth.

"What's that?" Leorio asked, puzzled.

Fern just smiled secretively and unwrapped the plastic. Kurapika and Leorio both leaned forward curiously to watch her.

When she finished peeling off the plastic wrap, she lifted her eyes, gazing at the somewhat surprised expressions of the two males in front of her. She smirked and held out her hand.

"Want some steak?" she asked. She cocked her head to the side, a smug glint in her sharp blue eyes. "It's cooked."

Leorio was literally drooling and Kurapika looked like he was trying hard not to.

_Grumble. GROoooWl. OORUMPhAGig._

Fern giggled at their slightly flushed faces. "Well, I guess that's a yes then," she said, and then handed them a piece of the steak in her hand.

_Sharing, _she thought to herself. She almost shook her head in disbelief._ I'm sharing. The selfish, cautious, all-for-me-none-for-you Fern is sharing. With people she met just a couple hours ago. _

_Hell, maybe Buhara's pigs really _are _flying. _

Her eyes dropped and she ate silently as she thought, chewing each piece carefully. _But…I'm assuming since Akulla tricked me into coming here unknowingly…that Bea actually didn't need the steak. _She scoffed._ I bet that was all a lie. Sneaky brat, I wouldn't put it past him. _A smidgen of proud bubbled in her chest. _Well, I do have myself to thank for that. I raised him to lie. Smart kid picks up my habits quicker than I do. _

_Anyways, that steak thing he said was probably just to make sure I actually ordered the specified meat without figuring anything out. _She swallowed. _So if Bea doesn't need the steak, and I have to finish the Hunter Exam before I get back, then that meat's just going to spoil if I don't feed it to someone soon. And it's not like I could actually eat a whole pound of meat by myself. …__Still…_ _It kind of feels good to share._

She paused in her chewing for a moment, a funny expression twisting on her face.

_There's too much cheese in this steak. _

"Hey," Leorio said suddenly. "Thanks." He reached over and patted her on the head, smiling genuinely. "You're a good kid, Leaf."

She shot him a weird look, slapping his hand away. "Uh, if you mean good at insulting you, then yeah." She scoffed, disgusted. "But otherwises, like, no. Just no."

Leorio stuck his tongue out at her. Then he turned and sunk his teeth into the meat, tearing off a huge chunk of the steak and stuffing it in his mouth. "Shwut uff," he spat to her. He chewed the tender meat quickly and hurriedly before swallowing it all down in one big gulp.

_Glutton…._Fern watched with half-lidded, dull eyes.

"Whoa!" Leorio exclaimed, staring at the steak in his hands in shock. "This is good!"….or at least, that was what she_ thought _he said, but it sounded more like, "Dwis Ifth Bwoof!". So really he could have said, "This is buff," but she assumed he liked it…or at least was _very _hungry. Because right after spitting those words out (and a chunk of meat that looked rather disgusting in the grass by her feet), he dug in, devouring the steak like a rabid dog.

Fern blinked. Slowly, a grin spread across, and she snickered slightly and shook her head at Leorio."Who raised _you_? Buhara? God, You're such a barbarian! This is why you don't have a girlfriend!" she teased, smacking him on the arm. "And that's a lot, coming from me." _Yeah, coming from a homeless girl._

But Leorio didn't seem to get it. He just made a displeased sound and glared at her for a moment before diving into the food again.

"I won't be held liable if you choke to death," Kurapika warned, eyeing the man…pig… cautiously.

"It's okay," Fern said casually. She shrugged. "If he dies we can just feed him to Menchi. He'd probably like that, seeing as he's been staring at her boobs all day."

Kurapika choked.

Leorio spit out his food.

Fern just snorted. "What? It's true."


	10. Turning Over a New Leaf

Chapter 9:

Leorio sighed as he patted his stomach. "I'm stuffed."

Kurapika sighed. "That's your fault."

"Yeah," Fern agreed. She frowned. "I can't believe you ate the whole steak up, plus half of my bread rolls! You shouldn't overeat like that. It could give you heart disease, increased risks of cancer, digestion and intestinal-"

"-I know, I know," Leorio interjected. He cracked an eye open and gave Fern an annoyed look. "I'm a doctor, kid, you don't need to list the factors out for me."

Fern grinned innocently. "No, actually, I was also going to say that if you eat that much you're going to end up looking like Buhara."

Leorio groaned. "Shut up- Wait, don't. Actually, I have a question."

"What?" Fern tilted her head to the side.

"Why did you even have steak and bread rolls in that sack of yours to begin with?"

"Because I use it to make strawberry-scented shampoo for my dog Toto when we go to Wonderland."

Leorio stared.

Fern rolled her eyes. "Extra food," she replied nonchalantly. _Duh. What else would it be? _" It's an extra precaution. I always like to carry food around in case something happens. I mean, you never know," she paused and frowned, "we might have to take an exam where food might not be supplied, or we have to survive and find our own food for a while."

"That's a good idea," Kurapika mused.

_Damn straight it is. _

"Alright, alright!" a loud, feminine voice called out from the front of the crowd.

Fern, Kurapika, Leorio, and the rest of the candidates all silenced their chatter immediately to gaze up at the speaker. _Well, what do you know?_ Fern sneered in her head. _It's the pink poodle whore. Big. Whoop._ Menchi.

"Now that the judging for the first part of the exam is over, and seventy-one people have passed, we're going to begin the second half of the exam!" Menchi announced. She stopped pacing and turned to face the crowd. Her eyes were closed and a small smirk adorned her face. "My dish will be…"

The candidates stared at her, the air thick and tense with anticipation.

"Sushi!" she finally exclaimed, spinning around and facing the candidates with a large smirk on her face.

The candidates blinked…..And then stared at her…

Blankly.

Dumbly.

Clueless.

"What?" one candidate muttered.

"Sushi?" Leorio questioned.

"_Sushi_?" Gon repeated.

Fern huffed. "Can you please stop repeating her?"

Killua frowned. "…What's sushi?"

Fern smiled innocently. "Sounds like cake," she said. Then she giggled.

**. . .**

Fern read a lot of books.

When she rummaged around through mounds of garbage the size of large hills, she often came across the remains of a written document. Whether it was a diary, a journal entry, a letter, a research report, a legal form, a story, or perhaps even an advertisement or brochure—as long as it was salvageable, Fern read it. She imagined that once, they had been shiny, brand new and the pages had been white, smooth, and soft on the tips of fingers. Now, they laid cold and abandoned among the midst of the biggest, and yet, least known dump in the world. They were someone's garbage, someone else's old belongings that were no longer wanted nor needed. They were disposable. They were rejected. They were trash.

But to Fern, they were treasures.

They weren't in that great of a condition. They were old, sometimes barely legible scrawls on weathered and ravaged, yellow paper. Many of them were missing pages, and hardly any of them had covers. Some of them had no author names, no titles, no dates—no nothing, but a block of blurred ink on a page. They certainly weren't brand new—not anywhere close to it—but Fern didn't care. She never knew what the title of the book she was reading was. She never knew where it came from. She never knew who wrote it. She never knew any of that stuff- and she probably never would-but she picked up the books, opened them, and read them anyways. And that was just fine with her.

Because that was what the people of Meteor City did.

They didn't care about your background. Where you came from, who you were, your name—no one cared. You weren't your past, and you weren't your future, you were just… you. Present you. Coming to Meteor City was like being given a clean slate to work on. You could tell people if you wanted to. But honestly, no one cared.

She loved it.

And so, Fern read, literally, _everything._ She read nearly every day. Whenever she had time, and where ever she could. Read, read, read-for hours at a time. She picked up a book, and never put it down until it was finished. Sometimes it was in a language she knew. Sometimes it wasn't. And when it wasn't, that was even better, because it provided her with the mind-boggling challenge of decoding the foreign language, translating it, and finally, learning the new language itself.

But from all this reading came about a couple of good things. Two of them being the most important. Well, first, the most obvious one—she learned how to read. Fern didn't go to school, didn't have parents to help her, and most certainly did not have a teacher. So, she taught herself. Simple as that. And as a result of the diverse collection of books and documents that ended up dumped in Meteor City, by the time she was nine, she knew how to read in six different languages.

Impressive.

…But Akulla read in more. (Much to Fern's mystification.)

The second benefit—also obvious- was that she learned a lot about a lot of things. If trivia could have made her rich, Fern would have been the richest little girl in the world. Because naturally, when one reads many different types of documents, one comes to know about a lot of things that may or may not matter in the grand scheme of life. Well, that was certainly the case in Fern's reading experience, anyway.

But at the moment, _god _was Fern glad she was a bookworm! Because if she hadn't read all those books, how else would she have found the one with the detailed description of pressed sushi, complete with a black and white picture and a little caption at the bottom?

How would she possibly have been able to pass the second exam?

Fern grinned as she stepped into the warehouse, following Kurapika, Leorio, Gon, and Killua, and setting herself up at one of the stations near the group.

The exam's basis was as simple as the one Buhara had given. They were to make sushi—specifically, pressed sushi—and, if Menchi approved it, they passed. The exam would end when Menchi became full and could no longer eat anything, but during the time before that, the examinees could make as many attempts as they wanted. The candidates were provided with a surface to cook on, a sink, rice, different types of knives, and a cutting board. The stations were set up in rows, so that one candidate would cook right next to the other. Fern wasn't quite sure where the logic was in that— if one candidate were to just look over at another who knew what sushi was, they could easily copy it—but then again, since when were these Hunter examiners ever known for being logical to begin with?

Uh…like, never.

Wait. There was a reason that question was rhetorical.

Fern sighed as she picked up one of the cutting knives. She turned it from right to left in her hand, carefully running her thumb and index finger along the surface to examine the slicing edge. It was sharp, very sharp- obviously meant for cutting some sort of meat. She moved on to inspect the rice. It was clearly not normal rice, for this rice was sticky, and normal rice was not. It seemed to have vinegar in it.

This, however, did not come as a surprise to Fern. After all, she already knew what pressed sushi was. It was already a simple enough concept to grasp, but it helped that she actually knew someone back from Meteor City who made (and ate) sushi on a regular basis. The man had lived in Napaj, the small island country sushi had originated from, before he became an outlaw and came to live on the corner of Mt. Bottle Cap( as Fern had affectionately nicknamed the mound of trash filled mostly with plastic water bottles, beer bottles, and liquid containers that the man lived by.)

"What the hell is sushi?" Leorio groaned. He picked up the knife and stared at it strangely, like he'd never seen a knife before."What are we supposed to do with this? Cut rice?"

Fern raised an eyebrow at the man. "Cut? Rice?" She goggled at him skeptically. "Are you serious?" She snorted. "Good luck with that."

Kurapika closed him eyes and sighed. "Don't bother with him, Leaf. It's not worth your time."

And there it was again.

That annoying, annoying faux-name she had given them. _Leaf._

Fern resisted the urge to groan and smash her head against the table. God damn it-why hadn't she just told them her real name to begin with? Every time she heard that stupid name Leaf, she felt like she was going to puke. And she swore, if she heard that name one more freaking time, she was really was going to upchuck her breakfast.

"…Can you please, like…_not _call me Leaf?" she asked, her face twisted into an almost pained expression. "Like, ever, _ever _again."

Kurapika blinked. "What? Why?" He tilted his head to the side. "Do you not like your name?"

Fern grimaced. "Actually. I. _Hate._ It."

"Eh?" Gon exclaimed from beside her. She turned and glanced at him questioningly. "Why?" he asked, frowning at her with concern.

"Because." She rolled her eyes and huffed. "I just do."

"Why?" Gon pressed, his voice taking on a strange whiny quality.

"Uh, maybe because I don't like being named after something that gets stepped on and crushed underneath people's feet during winter and fall." Or maybe it was because Leaf was the name Akulla came up with for her when he was still going through his smart-ass, I'm-super-genius-with-an-ego-the-size-of-my-old-house (which she never did get to hear that much about) stage. Actually, he still was going through a smart-ass stage- well, it was less of a stage than his freaking personality. But the point remained that Akulla seemed to like to mock her with the name the way a younger brother calls his older sister stupid nicknames to tick her off. She _knew _he got a kick out of seeing her cringe.

Anyways, Akulla calling her Leaf was bad.

And anyone else calling her Leaf was just…not right. And torture.

Fern felt like slapping herself_. And no… I'm not normally masochistic, but…god! Why the hell did I decide to call myself that? Leaf? _She scoffed._ What kind of an alias is that anyway? It's so…so….lame. _

"But I like the name Leaf," Gon protested stubbornly. "And Mito-san always says to be proud of who you are! So I think you should like your name."

"No," she said firmly.

"Why not?" Gon whined.

Fern just opened her mouth when a different voice interrupted. "Probably because that isn't even her real name."

Fern spun around to see a familiar white-haired boy leaning against the counter. In his hand was a knife and he tossed it in the air, over and over again, catching it with ease. Killua his head to the side and looked at her with dull eyes. A small smirk curled up the corners of his lips. "It's true isn't it?"

She glared at him hostilely. "How?" she demanded guardedly.

Killua shrugged and tossed the knife into the air again. "Intuition."

_You're not a woman,_ Fern was about to say moodily. But right as she opened her mouth to say it, Kurapika let out a big, long sigh.

She blinked, her glare disappearing. And suddenly she remembered the group of people around her and the room seemed too hot. Too closed. Too…small. A great big lump formed in her throat. She swallowed hard. Her heart skipped a beat. She gulped loudly and turned to gaze at Kurapika nervously.

But he didn't say a thing. In fact, now that she looked closer, he didn't seem to have any reaction at all. He was completely and utterly calm.

What?

"…You're not surprised?" she finally asked. A frown marred her face. "…Or…" -her face twisted slightly-"… mad?" _Cause I, for one, would be throwing things at walls….and possibly heads…_

Kurapika smiled reassuringly at the small blonde girl in front of him. "No," he said. "I suspected that was the case anyways."

"What?" Leorio exclaimed loudly, gawking at Kurapika. "You knew?"

Fern's eyes snapped up to Kurapika in shock, before narrowing slightly, suspicious. A bit of anger rumbled in her stomach. First Killua knew, and now Kurapika? What the _hell?_ Since when had she, Fern, (self-proclaimed) master of deceiving, become Miss LIES WRITTEN ON HER FACE? To be honest, all this, "Oh yah, I kinda knew, but, like, I didn't wanna tell ya, so ,so sorry," crap was really started to get old. And annoying. _Real _annoying.

"…How?" she demanded snappily. Like a spoiled child, annoyed at having been called out on her lies.

"Well," Kurapika began, gazing at her calmly, "Sometimes when someone called 'Leaf', it took a moment for you to respond. Also, when you first introduced yourself to us, there was a slight moment of hesitance before you said 'Leaf'. I'm assuming you were about to say your real name out of habit, but then quickly corrected yourself," he explained calmly. He smiled slightly. "That was about when I figured out you might not have been telling the complete truth after all."

Fern huffed. Who did he think he was? Cherlock Jolmes?

"I thought you just wanted a new nickname!"

All eyes snapped to the small black-haired boy who had just spoken. Gon smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his head when he noticed all the attention was on him. "Sorry, I really did. I mean, the name just…kind of didn't fit right, and you seemed annoyed every time anyone said it. So I thought you gave yourself a nickname or something, and maybe you decided you didn't like it after a while, but I didn't say anything, because Mito-san says it's rude to be…"

He trailed off at all the half-lidded stares he was getting. Gon smiled uneasily. "… Should I have said something beforehand?"

The answer was heavy in the air.

_Duh. _

Fern felt a light pink dust across her cheeks as she dropped her gaze down to the floor, feeling an unfamiliar surge of shame and guilt running through her system. Guilt? Shame? _Fern?_ Since when?

But it was the truth, and Fern couldn't deny the feeling of uneasiness that coursed through her at that moment. She pressed her lips together, frowning in irritation. Ugh, why did she have to feel guilty? It wasn't like she actually had something to be guilty about…well, it _was_ a lie, so maybe she did. But…since when did she care?

But the words came out before she could stop them.

"Uh…I..uh….I…." Fern shook her head. "..Sor….." She swallowed and tried again, lifting her eyes to meet theirs and grimacing. "…Sorry," she grumbled out grudgingly. More like a pouting teenager than anything else. "I—I didn't mean to!...Besides, it's not really a lie—just a half lie, a-and it's not like I got the name for nowhere—you don't have to be all mean about it, it's just a little—"

She shut her mouth.

When she realized the words that had come out of her mouth her face flushed. She found herself shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot, frowning deeply at the ground. _What is wrong with meeeeee, what is wrong with meeeee, something must be deeply wrong with meeeeeeee, _she sang dryly in her head._ Besides the fact I'm singing retarded songs in my heeaaaaaaaad. Why the hell am I still singinggggg, and why-_

All of a sudden, Fern felt a hand upon her head. Startled, Fern's eyes snapped wide open. She flinched and jerked back, shocked. "What…what are you doing? Don't touch me!" she exclaimed loudly, curling into herself. Her voice took on a shrill pitch, her breathing quickening slightly. _He's going to hit me. He's going to hit me. He's going to hit me hit me hit me-_ "I said I'm sorry, already, didn't I? I said I didn't mean to!" Panic arose in her voice. "So just leave me alone, okay? I'm not—I'm not—don't-

"Hey." Leorio just cracked a grin. He was kneeling in front of her—it was his hand on her head, she noted after a quick survey. "Hey, kid," he said, his voice surprisingly gentle. "It's fine, relax. I swear I'm not mad. Don't worry about it, but…" He smiled sheepishly. "Can I get your real name?"

Fern tensed. _Real name? Tell him? But….I only tell people who I….trust…._She stared at the man in front of her with narrowed, almost frightened eyes. _To trust or not to trust?_ The question screeched in her head, making ever hair on her body stick up, every nerve in her body awaken and tingle with fear and anticipation. Trust. The word sent shudders through her body, made her cold and hot at the same time.

Trust…this man?

Fern almost cringed as her light blue eyes caught the gaze of dark brown ones, but to her surprise, his eyes were not cold. They did not make her bones frigid. They did not make her skin feel like shards of ice were pricking it. He did not make her feel inferior. He did not make her feel like a rat that ran out of the sewer that didn't belong and needed to go back. He did not make her feel like trash.

For a second, just a brief, flash of a second, he made her feel…almost….

Human.

The way he was looking at her…it wasn't the way the other adults always had when they realized how dirty, how thin, how exactly poor and homeless she was. His gaze was not icy like beads of hail raining down on her skin. It was not scorching either, like the flames of hell licking at her body. It was warm—not hot,…just …warm, and caring, and… Like soup, she thought absent-mindedly. But it was more. It was better than soup. Better than tea. Better than anything, really. She really didn't know how to describe it, but all she knew was that…she kind of…okay, no—to be honest -not to sound like a wussy, but…to be honest,_ really_ honest, she….

She liked it.

But….

"I'm…I'm…"

To trust or not to trust?

"…I'm…I'm….."

_I don't know…_

"I…."

…

"I'm…"

_Gulp._

"I'm Fern."

Leorio blinked in surprise, and then slowly, a smile formed on his lips. "Thanks, kid." He patted the girl on the head and standing up. "Now I don't have to go around sounding like I'm delusional talking to a leaf."

A small, almost hesitant snicker escaped Fern's lips. "Yeah, but now people will think you've gone delusional talking to a fern…" She looked down suddenly and bristled. "But really…I uh… really…" _I really hate apologizing….I hate feeling guilty….stupid guilt, stupid Leorio, stupid Gon, stupid Killua, stupid Kurapika…_She could feel them all staring at her, staring at her and Leorio, and the next words she uttered were for all of them to hear.

They looked down at her curiously, and Fern blushed and looked away, staring stubbornly at Hanzo's shiny, distracting head. "Sorry…" she finished weakly, trailing off into silence.

"…Fern," Kurapika said hesitantly. He seemed to be tested out her name.

Fern hesitantly lifted her head hesitantly. Would he be angry? Would he hit her? Or would he just…leave? "Uh…yeah?"

He smiled. "I understand. Although I cannot say I agree with lying, for I find it dishonorable, I must say that it was a perfectly reasonable precaution to take given the dangerous and deceiving nature of the Hunter Exams and its candidates. Though I insist you trust us, as we are your friends—I do admire the caution by which you handle strangers." Kurapika's smile took on a rather bashful quality. "I can't say I wouldn't do the same if I were in the same position. Therefore, I cannot bring myself to blame you for something I would have done myself, or, at least, considered."

"Yeah!" Gon chirped. Fern's eyes flashed to his and he continued, grinning cheerfully. "I'm really glad you decided to admit it! If you do something wrong, like lying, all you have to do is say sorry and everything's alright!" He grinned sheepishly. "That's what Mito-san says anyway."

"Are you guys all freakin' retarded?" Fern blurted incredulously. "Why are you still talking to me?" Her voice rose, teetering on the edge of hysteria. "I just lied to you, for god's sake! I lied about my name, I lied…probably about a bunch of other stuff, I never said a thing about the Healing Cedar Sap until it was too late, and you still want to trust me?"

"Yes," Kurapika replied confidently. "Yes to all of those. Yes, we are foolish. Yes, we want to trust you."

"Uh, why the hell would you want that?" she pressed exasperatedly. "I wouldn't trust me if someone paid me a million dollars."

Gon grinned. "Didn't you just admit it all to us? I think Fern is not a liar to her friends. I think Fern only lies because she wants to protect herself and the people she cares about. That's why Fern feels bad about lying and that's why she just admitted everything she lied about in the first exams," he reasoned.

"I don't really care," Killua said absent-mindedly, picking at the wheels of his skateboard. He shrugged. "Call yourself whatever—Leaf, Fern, Twig, you'll always be Blondie no matter what you say."

Leorio gave a laid-back shrug of his own. "Really, I mean it. It's fine," he assured. He chuckled slightly. "Just don't do that again. It nearly gave me a heart attack when I found out the name I was calling you the whole time wasn't your real name."

Fern stared, stared, and stared. She stared at Kurapika. She stared at Gon. She stared at Killua. She stared at Leorio. She stared at all of them, stared some more.

She scoffed, crossing her arms against her chest. "This is dis-_gusting_. Like, what is this? Am I supposed to start crying now? 'Cause there is no way in hell I'm doing that. I do not believe in cheesy dialogue."

They stared.

Gon grinned. "I like cheese."

"…You guys are ridiculous." She couldn't help the blush on her cheeks. She bit her lip and turned, trying to hide the slight smile on her lips.

When she was sure they weren't looking, Fern's smile widened. It seemed the rest of her was slowly crawling back and replacing itself in a metal wall around her, but this time there was just a small window for this group of people. Just a small window.

Fern whipped around to face the group. They froze.

Her smile widened further until it was eerily wide, and looked more creepy than happy. "But," she started, "you should know that's the only time I'm going to apologize, that's the only time you will ever hear me say sorry, so don't go thinking it's a regular occurrence, okay?" Her voice was sugar sweet, a dangerous threat hanging behind the words.

Leorio gulped. Gon laughed. Kurapika shook his head in dismay.

"Hey," Killua's voice interjected suddenly.

All eyes snapped to him.

"I hate to interrupt the we-are-family-Blondie-is-a-devil-"—he gagged slightly on the word—"moment, but don't we have an exam to do here…?"

Fern looked at Kurapika, who looked at Leorio, who looked at Gon- who looked to his right, only to find no one standing there, and then looked back at everyone, not knowing what to do.

**. . .**

After the name issue with Fern was resolved, the group went back to thinking about the topic of pressed sushi. Fern, knowing what it was already, felt the need to share her knowledge with the group, but the small part of her that still refused to trust anyone held her back. At least she hadn't completely lost her edge.

While Fern was struggling internally, Kurapika remembered a vague description of sushi he had once read in a book and mentioned it to Leorio. The only thing it said was that there was vinegar in the sushi rice and fish on top of it, but that was all it took for Leorio to exclaim "FISH?" to the whole wide world—yes, including all the other candidates. Everyone in the whole room went stampeding out of the room towards whatever source of water they could find, with as much determination and ferocity as the Great Stamps from before.

And Fern was left standing alone in the room, thinking to herself rather abashedly, _I never did get around to telling them she knew what sushi is…._. But she figured it was okay, since they were on the right track anyways. Or maybe that was just her trying to make up excuses. But she couldn't think about that right now. Because at the moment, Fern was fishing. And somehow….like Fern always did, she miraculously managed to make the simple concept of spearing a fish in the head into something that was mathematical, science-related and completely, and outrageously, complicated.

That was the thing about Fern. Whenever there was something simple, you could always trust Fern to find a way to make it complicated. For someone as bright as her, sometimes she could be really…well….to put it simply…

Stupid.

_Remember Snell's Law of Refraction…If the index of refraction of the air is about 1.00 , and index of the water is about 1.33…., _Fern bit her lip and frowned in deep concentration. The sun's rays beat down heavily on her back, causing tiny beads of sweat to accumulate on her forehead and roll down the back of her neck. Her face was shadowed by the strands of thin blonde hair falling over her pale shoulders and brushing against her flushed cheeks. …._Then to calculate the sine of the incidental angle, which would be the ray of light traveling through the air and hitting the water, you would have to use the formula…_Her slim legs were submerged up to her knees in the clear blue water. Her petite figure was bent over slightly, hovering over the water with her eyes narrowed on the river like a hawk's. In her hands was a long, thin, but strong-looking tree branch, its end sharpened to a thin, pointy end and poised above the running water, ready to be thrust down at any moment_. …So if that was the sine of the incident angle, and the sine of the refracted angle is about that…so…if that times that equals that then-_

"Ugh! I missed!"

"Damn it, almost had that one!"

Her face tightened in concentration_. If that equals that then, the angle of refraction would have to be-_

"Noooo!"

"Be quiet. You're scaring all the fish away."

"What fish? I don't see any here!"

She grimaced. _The angle of refraction would have to be-_

"That's your fault."

"What? No it's not!"

She gritted her teeth together in frustration. Her face darkened slightly and her grip on the lance tightened. _-Would have to be-_

"Oh! There!"

_SPLASH!_

"I can almost guarantee you that body-slamming fish won't help."

"Psh, how would you know? I don't see you getting anywhere!"

Her eyebrow twitched.

…_Would have to be…._

"Fishing requires patience."

Would have to-

"We don't have time for this! While you're just standing there waiti-"

_Snap! _

Oh, whoops. There went Fern's temper.

"Would you guys just SHUT the HELL UP?" Fern whirled around to glare furiously at the two males behind her, her fists tight around the rod in her hand and her face flushed in anger. "I'm trying to think!" she shrieked.

But Leorio just blinked. "Think? Why would you need to think?" He wrinkled his nose in distaste. "It's just fishing."

"Well, obviously I'm thinking about refraction," she scoffed, rolling her eyes in irritation. "You know, the distortion the reflection light has on your vision…all that sort of science crap no one except me and some dude named Snell care about…"

"Just grab the fish with your hands!" Leorio argued, waving his hands in the air. "It's easy!"

"Easy?" Fern scowled and crossed her arms against her chest. "Says the one who hasn't caught anything yet. If it's so easy to grab fish with your hands, then may I ask why the hell there isn't a thing wiggling in your hands at the moment?"

He frowned. "Well, you haven't caught anything either, genius!"Leorio protested, jabbing a finger at her. He smirked, rather smug with his "witty" reply.

"Wrong," Fern said, smiling even more smugly.

Leorio gawked at her, but Kurapika (as always the smarter one of the pair) glanced at her questioningly. "Then why…?"

Fern frowned slightly at the water, staring into the clear surface of the water where a school of mutated unicorn-esque fish plodded along on the riverbed. "I've caught things," she said. Oh yes, she'd caught _many _things. One-eyed, cylinder-shaped slimy worms with gills, and wiggly fish with buckteeth and no eyes, that look disturbingly close to a germ…. "Just nothing…" She made a face. "..edible." She smiled at Leorio. "Unless you want to eat them?"

Leorio balked.

Kurapika sighed and shook his head. "I figured as much."

Fern frowned. "I just hope the examiner isn't too picky with her toppings, or else _no_ one is going to pass…"she trailed off as, in the corner of her eye, Gon reeled in his fishing line, an excited grin on his face.

A fond smile crept onto her face at the sight of the young black-haired boy. "…except maybe Gon," she added amusedly.

Kurapika followed her gaze and let out a small chuckle of his own. "Yeah, except for Gon."

Fern watched Gon in silence for a few moments, just watching him as he held the flopping fish in his hands. He was grinning like crazy and saying something to Killua. Her eyes softened slightly at the sight, a shy, wistful, ghost of a smile dusted her lips. Her brow furrowed slightly in a mixture of confusion and longing pain."…He looks so happy…" she remarked quietly as she gazed at the grinning young boy.

"Well, that's Gon for you," Leorio said lightly, having recovered from his earlier shock.

Fern remained silent, the only sign of reaction being the deeper furrowing of her brow. Her eyes took on a far-off glaze, and a vaguely saddened expression donned on her face. Her irritated look faded into a thoughtful, distant, but somehow extremely sorrowful and longing face…

_**Why… **_

_He looks so warm, so bright, so sunny…_

_**Can't…**_

_Grinning and laughing and playing…_

_**I…**_

_So, so blissful…_

. . .

_**Why can't I be that happy?**_

"Hm?" Kurapika asked, glancing at Fern curiously. "Did you say something?"

She blinked out of her stupor, surprised. She frowned slightly. Slowly, she shook her head. "…No," she lied. She smiled, hoping to put the boy at ease. "Maybe you were just imagining it." She tilted her head back and laughed. "Or maybe you were hearing the fish talk," she joked.

Kurapika cracked a smile. "I guess so," he said, seeming to accept her fib. He looked away and went back to focusing on capturing a fish.

Fern lowered her eyes to the ground and pressed her lips together in thought. Why had she said that aloud? She didn't want him to hear that. She didn't want _anyone_ to hear that. Not Akulla, not Bea, not Gon, not Killua, not Kurapika, not Leorio, not a stranger, not family, not friends-not anyone. She was so stupid, stupid,_ stupid_ for saying that aloud. What kind of habit was that to get into anyways? She knew she'd done it before—Akulla had told her she mumbled sometimes when she was in deep thought, especially when her emotions were getting the better of her. Stupid Fern, stupid thoughts, stupid mouth, stupid feelings.

Stupid god damn freaking _world._

Fern let out a small sigh.

Kurapika looked up again from the river to stare at Fern in concern. "Is something bothering you?" Kurapika asked, frowning slightly.

"No," she lied smoothly. She caught his eye in her gaze and smiled reassuringly. "Just the heat."

"Are you sure?" Doubt filled his blue eyes.

"Yeah," she replied quickly, hurried to get him off her back. _Geez, _she complained her head,_ he's such a nag. Like a mother, or something. Or just a really annoying older brother. _

She sighed once more before turning back to the river and making another stab at the water with her rod. Fern frowned. Nothing. But it wasn't as though she was actually trying. She probably could have caught a decent fish by now had she actually been able to focus.

It wasn't like she'd never gone fishing before—no, she did it a lot, and when she did, god could she catch a lot of fish! But now- now she couldn't. It was like a huge wave of depression had washed over her, and when it had resided, it had left her thoughts in shambles, with bits of residue, wet sand, plankton, and dead fish littering and clinging to the recesses of her mind.

A longing to play, a longing to smile and laugh, a longing to be as carefree and optimistic as Gon….That was all she could think about. And she hated it.

It made her sound weak.

_Maybe Killua would like me more if I-_

Fern had the sudden urge to stab the spear as hard as she could in the water. She did.

Splash.

"Bleh!" she sputtered. "Ugh! Ick!" She wiped franctically at her mouth, spitting water out of her mouth and gagging. "This water is disgusting!"

After a while, the dreadful taste faded from her mouth. She settled down, the wave of depression settled back over her like a hovering, heavy mist. Her eyelids drooped and she looked down, face tired and solemn: resigned.

She got down on her hands and knees at the edge of the riverbank, gazing down at the clear river water trickling through the rocks. At first she saw her reflection—her boring, pale reflection, like a distorted mirror. The longer she stared at it, the heavier the mist of sorrow became around her. Pale, scrawny, hollowed cheeks, dull blue eyes, dead, dirty hair, muddy arms, ragged garbage bag dress—

The image was scattered by a school of tiny fish. Fern blinked for a moment, startled, before leaning forward and watching them intently. Her wide eyes followed them as they swam around at the bottom of the pool of water. They were small and bit-sized, zipping around the more peaceful waters of the shallow end.

Fern watched the light as it danced across the surface of the water. Watched the way the sun's warm rays bounced off the shiny surface of each fish's scale reflected a stunning rainbow color into the water. Watched the way the tiny fish swam back and forth, wagging their little tail fins in the water, hovering above pebbles. And then she, without thinking, found herself reaching out, fingers dipping into the cool, crystalline water and wiggling around. The fish jumped, startled, and swam away in a hurry. She watched them swim away until they disappeared into the stronger currents.

Fern leaned back from the water until she was sitting back on the ground on her heels. Another sigh escaped her lips.

_Why wasn't I born a fish? _

The troubled frown returned to her face. They _certainly look happy. Even if they're stupid as hell._

"Hey," Leorio's voice interjected.

Her head snapped up and she jolted slightly, shaken out of her thoughts. A slight daze still hovered over her mind like a thin fog, and she closed her eyes for a moment and shook her head to clear it. Taking a deep, almost exasperated breath through her nose, she once again opened her eyes, and gazed up sharply at Leorio with a deeply annoyed look in her eye. "What?" she snapped irritably.

Fern was _not _in a good mood.

Leorio raised an eyebrow at her moody behavior. "Whoa, whoa, no need to get so annoyed." He lifted his hands in a sign of surrender and backed away slightly.

She glared. "What is it?" she repeated again, even more irritated.

He dropped his hands into his pockets and smiled slightly. Fern frowned at his sudden mood change, but Leorio just smiled and nudged his head towards the riverbank. "Gon's waving at you."

She furrowed her brow. "Gon?" Fern mumbled, irritation suddenly forgotten. Her eyes widened slightly, before snapping back to the riverbank where she had last seen him jumping for joy with his fish. And, sure enough, there was that overly-happy, too-gullible, but still utterly adorable black-haired boy grinning widely and waving at her frantically.

"FEEEERN!" Gon yelled loudly, his voice muffled slightly from the distance. "DO YOU NEED HELP?" His grin widened and he held up a fish in his hands proudly. "I CAN CATCH ONE FOR YOU IF YOU WANT!'

Fern just stared at the cheerful boy, waving and smiling at her with a warm expression on his face. She didn't know how to respond, didn't know what to think or what to say or even what to feel. Help? He was offering to help? What did that mean?

Fern honestly didn't know.

"Great offer if I've ever heard one," Leorio commented in the background.

She ignored him.

She didn't know what this 'help' was. No one had ever helped her before. Never. It was an unfamiliar concept to her, this 'help' thing was, but…would it be so bad just to try it? Just …for once…to accept it?

Yes, was her first answer. Yes, it was hard to try it. Yes, it was bad. Yes, it would be_ awful_ and against everything she went by to accept it.

But then Fern looked down at her rod, at how lonely her hands looked wrapped around it alone, at how solemn her heart felt when she thought about returning to hunting alone…and then she looked at Gon again, at his smile, at the innocent, carefree, but delight expression on his face…so…so free…

She wavered. Well, no, maybe…maybe accepting the help wasn't the hard part, maybe it was…maybe it was getting herself to accept it that was the hard part…Maybe it wasn't so hard after all. Maybe it wasn't that bad, maybe…maybe…She grimaced.

Okay, so maybe it was really bad.

But it was a challenge.

She finally conceded with a heavy sigh and a shake of her head. _Well….I_ suppose _I could try it._

So, with one last sigh, she lifted her head and forced her lips into a decent smile. And waved. And called back in a louder voice that she'd ever thought she'd used before,

"Sure, Gon!" She smiled wider, the motion easier as it became realer and realer—less fake, and more Fern. "Though I have no idea how an idiot like you could catch fish better than me, I'm coming over there to help _you_!"

Okay, so maybe she wasn't quite ready to accept his help, nor that she needed his help—because she so, totally DIDN'T- but hey…she was trying.

And then, right as she leapt easily across the stones on the river bank, lifting one of her legs and teetering playfully like an innocent child exploring the woods; right as she was grinning and making her way over to the other side of the stream—that same, weird, airy feeling of exhilaration and weightlessness from before enveloped her and filled her up like a balloon.

She didn't understand it. But this time, it didn't bother her.

Because just like when she read books, she didn't know what they were, why they were there, or where they came from, but it was okay. It was all okay.

Because she liked the way it made her feel.

. . .

Fern arrived on the other side with the bottom of her dress soaked and her feet cool from the cold wetness of the water. Most of the mud on her had been washed away by the river- even the swamp dirt that had been mashed into her hair. Now, her dress clung to her pale skin like a black, soaked piece of plastic, and her hair was soaked blonde tendrils matted across her shiny forehead. Clear water droplets glistened in the sun as they slid down her skin and dripped onto the puddle of water accumulating around her feet. Her cheeks were slightly flushed from the run and her eyes sparkled in delight.

Alive, alive, she felt more alive than she'd felt in a while.

"You look like a wet dog," Killua remarked.

Or not.

She wanted to glare at him, but instead she found herself laughing, slightly out of breath. "Good. I like dogs," she said lightly. Raising an eyebrow, she then continued, "And besides, isn't it better to look like a wet dog than a dirty dog?" She gestured towards the splatter of mud that still stained his white hair.

He grimaced and lifted his hands to cover the blotch in his hair. "That was your fault!" he whined.

Fern rolled her eyes. "And?" She snorted. "You were going to leave me there to drown!"

"Ah!" Gon interjected. He smiled calmingly at the two when they're heads snapped his way. "Mito-san says it's not good to fight!"

She stared at Gon dully. "Fern says she doesn't care what Mito-san says," Fern said dryly.

"Killua says he doesn't care what Fern says," Killua mocked in a high-pitched voice.

"Um…Gon says Killua and Fern need to stop fighting and get along so we can all be friends?" Gon said, sounding slightly confused. "Um…Why are we talking like this?"

Fern looked at his bewildered face, and then laughed. "I don't know," she said truthfully.

"But you started it," Killua pointed out.

She crossed her arms against her chest and shot him a pointed look. "And?"

"You started it," he repeated.

"I know."

"You started—

She groaned. "Shut. Up."

"Mito-san says it's not nice to say shut up—

Fern groaned louder. "…Gon?"

"What?"

"Stop. Talking."

He blinked innocently. "What? Why?"

"…Just stop. Please."

It was silent.

Fern sighed slightly and stared up at the sky in exasperation.

A few moments passed, and then. . .

"…Aren't we forgetting something?" Fern asked.

"Oh yeah!" Gon exclaimed. He grinned at Fern. "The fish!"

"Oh…right…"

"Nice one, Blondie."

"Shut up."

"…Mito-san—

"No!" Fern shouted. "Don't even start with that."

"But—

"No!"

"But—

"No!"

"…But—"

"_No."_

…

"…Can we get that fish now?"

"…Yes."


	11. The Forgotten Meaning of Food

**A/N: Hello. Long time no see. I know you missed me, of course you missed me, you know you all just never feel complete without reading my ridiculous chapters...yeah, totally. My writing helps you find the LIGHT! ...Of Death Note. Wow I am so funny. Giggle. Quack. **

**Moo.**

**Soo one of my reviewers, Miki, drew Fern for me! Yay! I love you all the way to the bottom of my...**

**Esophagus****. **

**Thank you! The link is on my profile, so go check that out. It's really cool. So if you want to draw me more fanart...hinthintnudgenudgeHIToverthe headwithpencil. **

**I am so not greedy. ****Really. ****I just, really, really like stuff. Like fanart. And reviews. And Killua. And money. And BLOOD and GUTS and GORE and kdnflajhfkefnaekl spazz attack! **

**Just kidding. ...Maybe. Read and Review and maybe you will appreciate my awesomeness more.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Killua or HxH. I own Fern. No, not the ferns in like the weird dinosaur plant in your backyard or your secret jungle or underneath your sink...like, Fern. Like, bitch Fern. Yes, I own bitch Fern. Now if only I could pwn her. **

**. . . **

"You hold a knife like this."

"Like this?"

"No! Like this!"

"What? You can't do anything holding it like that!"

"Um, hello? That's the point! We're not trying to kill anyone here; we're just trying to skin a fish!"

"Skin it?"

"Uh, yeah. What did you think I was talking about?_ God_!"

"You mean, cut off all its scales and skin and leave just the insides?"

"No, we're going to throw away the meat and eat the scales, because they're just sooo edible. _Yeah! _And don't forget the eyeballs either. You've got to cut off the head and eyes too."

"The eyeballs? Ew… This is nasty…"

Fern sighed and stared up at the ceiling in exasperation. After returning from the river, the trio of twelve-year olds had gotten straight down to business making sushi—or rather, what Gon and Killua thought was sushi, and Fern knew wasn't even close. By that time, people were already heading up to Menchi with their attempts and getting rejected by the mass every second. Leorio himself had already been refused. Menchi hadn't even tasted it. She'd merely taken one look at it, scowled, and tossed it away to who-knew where. She did not touch it, did not taste it, and in the end, ended up wasting it.

One fish killed for nothing. A cup of rice used for nothing. Food, that could've been made edible, now lying on the floor, uneaten, unused, and completely and utterly wasted.

This happened more than just once. And each time it did, Fern couldn't help but think, _That could've been my dinner. _

Or,

_Akulla could've eaten that. _

Or,

_Bea could've made medicine out of that. _

Or, just plain,

_Some starving child in Meteor City—no, scrap that—_anywhere _could've eaten that. _

_And yet now, you've just gone and wasted it._

_All of it. _

_Bitch._

You could say Fern was pissed off. Slowly, her level of "Pissed off" was growing to the point was she was_ very_ pissed off—at which she wanted to go up to Menchi, punch her in the face, and proceed to shake some sense into that scantily-dressed, food-wasting woman.

But Fern was a candidate, and Menchi was an examiner—a very hot-tempered examiner. And obviously, if Fern wanted to pass, she couldn't just to go up to her and scream at her, because that…just wouldn't work. And no matter how much Fern wanted to punch her, getting kicked out of the exams wasn't on her list of to-do things for the day. Neither was getting killed by a raging pink-haired woman. So, naturally, Fern wasn't even going to try.

"Hey, you," Killua interjected, breaking her out of her thoughts. "Blondie."

Fern sighed again and lowered her eyes back to the white-haired boy beside her. "Whaaaat?" she drawled, annoyance practically dripping from her voice.

Killua stared at her, then at the knife, and then at the fish, and then at its eyeballs…and then he gagged and turned to Fern with a grossed-out, totally disgusted, Ew-this-is-gross-I'm-gonna-puke look on his face.

"What?" she asked again.

He grimaced. "Can you…"

"Can I…?" she prompted.

He groaned. "Can you skin it instead?"

Fern blinked. "Can I?" she asked suspiciously. She raised an eyebrow. "Do it for you?"

Killua nodded.

"_No_!" Fern placed her hands on her hips and shot Killua a pointed look. "Does that fish look like mine? No. It's yours, idiot. _You_ do it."

He swallowed heavily and slowly, very hesitantly, he forced his gaze to wander back to the fish…only to gag and whip back around to Fern looking very pale and slightly green. "Come on, Blondie."

She looked up at the ceiling. "Come on, Whitey."

"I helped you get out of the swamp," he volunteered. "And I carried the pig back to the examiner for you."

She was silent for a moment, glaring at him in irritation (she hated owing people and hated it even more when they bribed her with it) before finally she closed her eyes. "Fine," she conceded reluctantly. "I'll skin the god damn fish for you, you big baby."

Killua let out a big sigh of relief. "You are a lifesaver, Blondie!"

Fern rolled her eyes . "Nope," she said. "You're just a wimp." Stepping forward, Fern slid the knife out of Killua's hands and gripped it tightly her own tinier hand. She pushed Killua to the side to stand at his station, and, with the fish laid out on the table in front of her, and the knife held carefully in her hands, she began the tedious task of peeling off a fish's scales and decapitating its head.

"Ewwwwww," Killua groaned from behind her. "That's…ugh." He shuddered. "How can you stand to look at its eyeballs?"

"Oh yeeah, could never forget that," Fern muttered under her breath as she worked. "Looking at its eyeballs, too. Oh my gosh, eyebaaaaaaalls! Sooo gross…" Fern drawled sarcastically under her breath.

And so Killua grumbled and groaned and did Killua-like-stuff behind her while Fern did Fern-like-stuff and ignored him as she ran her knife along the fish's slimy skin. As time went on, Killua got antsy and wouldn't stop bugging her (Are you done? Are you done yet? You're so slow, like an old hag. You know, you really are just like an old hag. Ew eyeballs. Ewwwwww. You're touching them? Ew gross, girls are so gross. Gon, hey Gon, aren't girls gross? What's wrong with you? Why do we talk to this girl? She's so weird. I don't get girls. Ugh. ) and she was irritated (Shut up. Stop talking. I'm not your babysitter. Stop being sexist. You have eyeballs too. Boys are grosser. You're like an old man who never grew up. Why do I talk to you? Oh wait, I don't. You just talk to me. Now GO THE HELL AWAY). Until finally, the torture was over.

"Okay," Fern announced. "Finally. Thank god, I'm finished!" She placed the knife down on the counter, and turned around to face an impatient-looking Killua.

"You done?" he asked quickly. "Are the eyeballs gone?"

"What do you think?"

Killua groaned. "That took soooo long," he complained. "Thanks, Blondie. Now I bet I won't have any time to make sushi."

"You're welcome, darling," Fern sneered. "Now shut up. I'm going to work on my own sushi, so don't talk to me, don't bother me, and don't interrupt me—oh and don't throw things at me either."

. . .

Killua watched the blonde girl's back as she strode over to her station (only a few steps away from his), picked up her own knife, and began to cut away at her own fish. His teal eyes were on her, boring into the back of her head, but either she didn't notice, or she didn't care.

Blondie, he called her. Oh, but it wasn't because he didn't know her name. Because he knew it—Fern, she'd said—but, really, where was the fun in that? Blondie fit her better. She wasn't green or leafy, and she certainly didn't look like a plant. But she did have blonde hair, and sometimes she acted kind of stupid. And plus, she was totally a sassy, egotistical bitch. Just like a typical dumb blonde.

Killua smirked.

Yep. Blondie was definitely the better name for her.

Besides, it made her mad, and when she got mad, she got real bitchy, and when she was bitchy, _damn _was she funny! Nothing like any of those boring, polite, calm "ladies" that his mother liked to introduce to him…He shuddered.

Pulling his eyes away from the blonde annoyance, he turned back to the beheaded fish in front of him and began to chop it. And no, he had no problems with slicing its stomach in half. Honestly, the only thing that bothered him was the eyeballs. And thank god they were gone now—those things were simply horrendous!

He shuddered just thinking about them.

. . .

The line of people to feed Menchi was long. Impossibly long. Fern smiled though and conned her way up to the front, skipping around…forty people. And all would have been wonderful, except that ninja dope Hanzo was before her.

And he shouted how to make sushi to the entire room.

Dope. What was he on? Ninja crack? Whack?

Menchi turned a red that clashed terribly with her puke-pink hair, and Fern retreated carefully into her emo corner…not really. She went to annoy Gon and bully Leorio. She just gave up the task. Menchi wasn't going to pass anyone anyway, not when she was in BITCH-mode at least.

. . .

The room was silent. No one moved. No one breathed. Everyone just stood there in front of Menchi like gray statues of granite.

"Ah…" Menchi sighed in contention as she took a long, lasting sip of her tea. A pleased smile lifted the corners of her lips up. "I'm full now."

A jolt of shock ran through the crowd.

"What?"

"Huh?"

"Wait!"

"What does that mean?"

But Menchi just smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of her head casually. "Like I said before," she said simply. "You guys all fail."

The candidates gaped. "W-what?"

"Fail?"

"No way!"

"This can't be!"

Menchi smiled at the panicking candidates and shrugged. "Sorry," she said.

Killua kneaded his hands behind his head and closed his eyes. "This is stupid."

"Ya think?" Fern asked from beside him, voice dripping with sarcasm. "This is the stupidest thing I've heard all year!" She huffed and turned to the black-haired boy beside her. "Don't you agree, Gon?"

He nodded slowly, but didn't say anything else. Gon's normally cheerful eyes shone with dread as he gazed at Menchi. "No way…" he mumbled to himself. He furrowed his brow. "The exam is gonna end just 'cause of this?"

Fern's hot-tempered anger immediately disintegrated, her arms dropping back to her sides. "Gon…"

_BAM!_

She jumped, startled.

A fat man with a double-chin had punched into the wall, leaving a huge crater. It was candidate number 255—Wrestler, Todo. A huge scowl made his ugly face fugly.

"Fuck you!" Todo growled. He stormed forward through the crowd until he stood in front of Menchi. " I didn't come here to be a chef! I came to be a Hunter! A Blacklist Hunter! No stupid Epicure Hunter is gonna stop me, just 'case she say I can't cook. That's shit," he finished with a sneer.

Menchi twitched. "Stupid?"

"Yeah, you heard me!" Todo yelled, enraged. "A Hunter who eats fancy food and sips tea all day?" He shook his fist in anger. "That ain't no real Hunter, not in my book anyway. Just a pretty wimpy girl tryin' to order all of us around."

Menchi's face darkened. "And why is that?"

"The only thing Epicure Hunters like you do is search for delicacies!" Todo snarled. "Who the fuck cares whether it's rare or not? I don't even care if it tastes like shit! Food is just food, whatever you can eat, you eat. If it fills you up, it's damn good food if ya ask me."

It brought back memories, lots and lots of memories of her childhood, of Meteor City, of trash, of rags, of garbage, of scraps—it brought back memories of a lot of things, really.

Fern's eyes probed Menchi's face, looking for a hint of sympathy, of understanding, of something—anything. But there was nothing.

Menchi was an Epicure Hunter. They were supposed to understand the importance of food. They had to. They understood it wasn't just something pretty to look at or something amazing to taste. They understood that food was a necessity. Food was not a toy. If you didn't like it, you didn't throw it away. You ate it, or kept it, or gave it to someone else important. Food was not disposable. Food was more than money, it was more than treasure. You couldn't eat money. You couldn't live off of it. Food wasn't just…food. It was life. And death.

Menchi had to know this. She had to. Because Epicure Hunters were the masters of food. If they didn't understand that desperation—that basic need for food—then…who would?

But she was wrong.

"Looks like you're a true idiot," Menchi replied coldly.

Fern tensed. _…What?_

"If you were smarter, maybe you'd understand the importance of delicacies," Menchi continued. "Food needs to taste good to be satisfying."

Food needs to taste good to be satisfying.

Food needs to taste good to be satisfying.

**Food needs to taste good to be satisfying.**

_Fucking BITCH._

"Shut up," Fern said.

Menchi turned slowly. "What?"

She smirked. "You heard me."

Heads turned towards her and she knew out of the corner of her eye that Kurapika was giving her a '_No, don't!'_ warning look, and Leorio was also giving her a '_Shut up now before you get killed_' look, but she ignored them. "Food needs to taste good to be satisfying?" Fern gave a small, cynical laugh. "Don't freaking joke with me. That's the biggest bull shit I've ever heard."

"Shut it, brat," Menchi growled. "If you have a problem, then leave."

"Brat?" Fern's voice was frigid. "I hope you were talking to yourself, because the only brat in this place is you. You think know everything, don't you?" She smiled. "Well guess what? You don't. You don't know _shit_."

Menchi glared. "And you would like to prove that how?"

"Oh, that's easy," Fern drawled, rolling her eyes. "You threw food away without even tasting it. You threw it away if it didn't look good, if it wasn't warm enough. If you did taste it, it was gross, disgusting, yucky, whatever the hell you whined about, I don't really care. You acted like it wasn't food. But you know what? It was. It _was_ food, and what did you do? You wasted it."

"Wasted what?" Menchi sneered. "It was crap. Why should I eat that if I don't like it? And what do you know? You're just a kid. I understand way more about food than you do."

Memories sprung up and burned behind her eyes. "Understand? Understand what? The only thing you understand is rich people who mock the poor ones starving on the streets. Why? Because you're one of them. You don't get why food is so important to some people_." Why it's so important to me. _"You don't know what it's like to go days without food_." Can feel my ribcage through my stomach and wonder why it is that I am hungry so often—no food left—wandering through garbage—body eating itself-stomach no longer even growls. _"You don't even get why people work for food but settle for scraps." _Bad days, food shortage-scouring dumps, hours, hours, hours-finding a rotten, ant-covered apple core. Eat it, eat it quick, then lick my fingers because it's delicious. "_

_To hunt through trash cans, to eat grass because there's nothing else, to watch those around you wither into skeletons and die die die—Have you? Have you done that? Seen it? No. No you won't and you won't ever. So don't say you understand, bitch, because you don't. You don't get it at all._

Fern took a deep breath. "Neither of you deserve to be called Epicure Hunters."

Silence swept across the candidates. Menchi was speechless. Buhara said nothing.

"Oh, very good points, little girl, but isn't that a little bit harsh?"

Fern almost screamed in surprise. Her head whipped up in alarm. "Am I freaking schizophrenic or did a voice just come from the sky?" she squeaked.

A loud buzzing noise thrummed in all the candidates' eardrums. A wind picked up, rattling the windows of the examination center. Fern raised an arm to cover her face as dirt flew around in a sand storm-like whirl.

"What's that noise?" one candidate yelled through the noise.

"What the hell's happening?"

The candidates flooding out of the center like water out of a broken faucet. Gritting her teeth and squinting her eyes, Fern struggled her own way through the strong, billowing winds to make her way towards Killua and Gon.

"Gon, uh, and…Leaf, Twig, Flower? Fur? Furry? Whatever, Blondie," Killua yelled urgently. He jabbed his finger towards the sky. "Look!"

A huge whale-shaped balloon floated above the clearing, casting a shadow on the candidates below it.

"A UFO?" Fern shouted in disbelief. "What the freak? Oh wait, never mind. It's a blimp imitating a UFO. Okay." She blinked calmly as her gaze caught sight of a red rectangle on the side with two X's criss-crossing with a black diamond in the center. "Wait, why is the Hunter Examination Committee here? And why are they in a whale-shaped UFO?"

"Whoa," Killua whistled. "Hold o—Is that an old guy falling from the sky?"

_Bam!_

Something hit ground. The landing caused even more debris to kick off of the ground and swirl around in the air like a smoke screen, causing Fern to close her eyes and shield her face with her arms. Finally, the wind died down and the smoke cleared away to reveal a…

Fern opened her eyes, and then blinked.

A….

An old geezer?

For a moment Fern thought her eyes were failing her, but when she rubbed them, blinked, and then looked again, the grandpa guy was still there.

What kind of grandpa could jump off a blimp over a dozen meters high into the sky and land on the ground like superman? The hell? Maybe it really was an alien. …Yeah, no.

_Who is this guy? _

"Mr…"

Fern's eyes snapped to Menchi. The pink-haired woman was staring in surprise at the old man. Menchi gulped.

"Mr. President."

. . .

** End of Chapter 10. **

**This is a short chapter because like everyone says I'm trying to pick the pace up. Is it working? Kind of? What did you think of Menchi and Fern's argument? Poor Menchi...I like her but she had it coming. **

**You know the drill. Review or the drill will not be a practice, it will be a pointy metal thingy drilling holes in your pockets and then you'll be sad because you won't have an appleseed in your pocket anymore and Santa won't visit you at Christmas, because he ate your appleseed and got poisoned and died. Then you will go to his funeral and cry and cry and cry so hard you choke on your tears, turn purple, and die looking like a frozen purple popsickle. Yum.**

**And we can't have that happening. Noooo Neever... **

**So press the button! **


	12. Suicide Jumping is Fun

A/N: Okay, so this story is actually updated on time...WHOA. Like ,that is impossible! That author never updates...like ever. Well, she is trying. She is actually moving those lazy fingers and still sitting on her butt but whatever. She just wants reviews and ice cream. Reviews may make her gain too much weight but she doesn't care. She wonders why she is writing in third person.

Disclaimer: She does not own HXH.

**Chapter 11: Suicide Jumping is Fun**

Fern gaped. _Mr. President?!_

The sheer aura he emitted was stifling her. It was heavy and it hurt, made her head pound and her blood freeze. God, just how powerful _was_ this man to have so much Nen that it nearly suffocated her?

_Click. Clank. Click. Clank. Click. Clank._

"It's—It's a pleasure to see you again, President Netero," Menchi struggled to stutter out.

Netero grunted and nodded firmly. "Now, Menchi-kun," he began. "You tried to see if these people could challenge the unknown by testing them through cooking," Netero explained evenly. "With that in mind…Everyone had a problem with their attitude. Is that why you failed everyone?"

Menchi gaze fell to the ground. "No…" she mumbled quietly. "One of the candidates criticized cooking, so I lost my temper." She swallowed thickly. "While I was mad, I became full and, and…" she closed her eyes in contrition. "I'm not worthy of being an examiner. " She bowed respectfully. "I'm sorry."

"Ohohohohoho!" Netero laughed cheerily. "You're an honest girl. For that, I'll offer you a little something else."

"How about this?" he asked, raising a finger in proposal. "Redo it with a different test."

Menchi nodded. "Then the new topic…Boiled egg." She turned back to old man. "President Netero, could you take us to that mountain over there?" she asked, pointing towards the large, mountain that loomed over the tree tops in the distance.

"I see," Netero said. He nodded. "That's an easy task."

"Boiled egg?" Fern asked to herself. She sighed. "This better turn out better than the sushi thing did," she muttered in complaint.

"Don't worry!" a familiar voice chirped. "I'm good at cooking eggs!"

Fern turned to her right to see Gon grinning cheerfully, with Kurapika, Leorio, and Killua all standing behind him. "Oh, hello, Gon-san," she greeted easily. Her gaze lifted to the three beside him. "And Leorio-san, Kurapika-san, and Killua."

"Why am I the only one without –san at the end of their name?" Killua asked, sounding slightly confused.

"Uh…." Fern laughed sheepishly. "I don't know." _…maybe cause you're a dolt? Jerk? Donkey ass with white hair growing out of it? _She grimaced. "Want me to call you Killua-san instead?" she asked, trying to keep the sarcasm out of her voice.

"Killua-sama," he corrected with a mischievous grin.

"Are you sure?" she asked.

He nodded smugly.

Fern twitched. She smiled sweetly and was about to open her mouth and call him some very nice names (that fit him much better than Killua-sama) when she was interrupted.

"Actually," Kurapika said, causing her gaze to wander over to him. "I was going to tell you to just call me Kurapika."

"Me too," Leorio added. "Leorio-san makes me feel old."

"Me third!" Gon chirped, grinning.

Fern blinked in surprise. "Really?"

They all nodded.

Fern stared at them doubtfully for a moment, her gaze running over their faces, taking in their expressions. Suspicion tinged her thoughts darker. Were they just sucking up to her? Maybe they were all in on some trick-Fern-into-trusting-us thing. Well, it wasn't going to work, whatever they were up to.

But thinking of Gon tricking someone was like thinking of your puppy planning the destruction of the world government. …Maybe she was just paranoid. But was it really okay to be so informal with people she had met only at the beginning of this day?

_She _didn't think so.

"Oh!" Gon suddenly exclaimed, breaking her out of her thoughts. "Um…can I just call you Fern? I mean, we're friends now, right? I didn't ask before, so if I offended you for being so informal, I'm sorry…" he rubbed the back of his head and blushed slightly in embarrassment.

Fern tilted her head to the side. "Friends?" _Since when? More like owner and pet dog. _

Gon nodded enthusiastically. "Yup!"

"Hm..whatever you want," she said, neither agreeing nor disagreeing. Gon didn't seem to notice though.

_Friends…_She pondered this as she boarded the plane. And as the airship moved and floated through the sky, and time passed, and the sun began to set, and they drew closer and closer to the mountain the second exam would take place on, she kept thinking about it. She wanted to stop, but she couldn't.

"_We're friends, right"_

It was like the question was an annoying song stuck on repeat, and no matter how hard she bashed the music player, she just couldn't get it to shut up. It played in the back of her mind constantly, when she talked to Leorio and Kurapika, when she laughed with Gon, even when she was just sitting there all alone, staring out the window in thought—no, especially when she was alone. She hated the thought of it, hated it to the point where she couldn't even figure out why she hated it so much—but even though she hated the thought of that stupid word, she couldn't push the doubt from her mind.

_..No,_ she told herself over and over again. _We're not. We're not friends and we'll never be. Stop being stupid, Fern. You know the drill. You know you can't trust anyone except Bea and Akulla. Stop. Stop thinking about them. You're just using them, remember? You don't care. They're just…just puppets. Shut up._

_You don't have friends._

**. . . **

**A conversation over the phone:**

"Yo, Fern?"

"Akulla?"

"How're things going over there?"

"…Fine."

"You don't sound so good." _Concern. _"…You're not hurt are you? Did something happen?"

"Uh, duh. Lots of things happened."

"You know what I mean. ..Your eyes? Any incidents?"

"…No."

"Don't lie to me, Fern."

"Okay, geez. What's your problem? It was nothing, really. I just kind of thought I saw one of the candidates eyes turn red like mine for a second, but then my eyes turned red too, so it was probably just me. But it kind of looked like his eyes turned red before mine did. Or something. Don't worry 'bout it though, Akulla. " _Laughter. _"You're like acting like you're Bea or something. And you're hair'll be grey like hers too, if you don't lighten up, you little brat."

"I'm not a brat! And I'm not worried."

"I think I hear a liarrrrr."

"Shut up!"

"..Hey…Akulla?"

"Hm?"

"…Do you think someone else's eyes could turn red like mine too?"

"…I don't know. But I'll look into it."

_Deep breath. _"'Kay. Thanks. Take care of Bea for me and don't get into any trouble."

"'Kay. But if you die I'll…"

"See you in hell, yeah I know."

"Not funny, Fern."

"Was too, Aku-baby bro. See ya. Toodle-loos!"

"I'm not your baby brother-

_Click._

. . .

"So," Leorio said. "Let me get all this straight. All we have to do is jump off a cliff"—he jammed his thumb towards the fissure in the rock that opened up into a seemingly endless abyss of darkness—" tightrope walk across threads" –here he did a funky imitation of acrobats in a circus—"grab an egg" –he swiped at the air—"and somehow rock-climb back up to the top?"

"No," Fern said.

Kurapika and Leorio looked at her curiously.

"You forgot the part where rabid eagles attack you and attempt to poke your eyeballs out for stealing their fugly little babies." Fern smirked.

"Oh yes, that part," Leorio agreed sarcastically. He then raised an eyebrow. "Is _that_ all?"

She nodded.

"Good." A large grin spread across the man's face. He turned towards the fissure and dashed towards it. "I'm going first!" he called out eagerly as he sprung off the edge of the cliff. "Whooo!"

Fern giggled as she watched the man disappear into the darkness below. Then, turning to Kurapika, she smiled and said, "I guess I'll be going too." And before he could reply Fern was already off sprinting towards the cliff edge.

"Ah!" she heard Gon exclaim from behind her. "No fair, Fern! Getting a head start without us!"

Fern turned her head just enough to stick her tongue out at the two boys behind her. "You snooze you lose, suckers," she sneered.

A wild grin spread across her face as she neared the cliff edge. As she came closer and closer to it, she pumped her legs faster and faster. Her feet pounded against the ground and her heart raced in her chest. And then the ground disappeared from under her feet.

She was falling. Falling, falling, falling_, falling_—and falling_ fast_. So fast that everything around her was a blur, so fast that she couldn't see anything, so fast that she couldn't think, she couldn't breathe—so fast that it was scary. Yes, it was scary, scary, so, so freaking _scary_ that her heart skipped a beat and her mind was going wild. It was _that_ scary, and yet, Fern was—Fern was—

Fern was_ laughing_.

Because even though it was scary, even though it knocked the breath out of her, even though it made her head spin and her heart skip a beat…

It was thrilling. Absolutely wonderful and breath-takingingly amazing. The way the adrenaline rushed through her veins, the way her heart raced in her chest, the way the breath was knocked out of her and all she could do was laugh, laugh, and laugh—it made it amazing. It was so sweet, so wonderful, so new and thrilling and exhilarating, this feeling of falling was, and it was like that so much that she couldn't help but love it.

For a person who claimed to be cautious, Fern had a rather strong love for the daring.

But it was all over in a second.

Fern's arms thrust upwards and her tiny fingers curled around a thin thread. Her whole body hung from the white, slightly sticky substance like a swaying apple from a tree. She pulled herself up onto the strand, plucked up a gray, speckled egg, and placed it carefully into the pocket of her blue vest.

Then, placing one foot in front of the other on the wire, she ran across the string, dashing with the ease of seasoned tight-rope walker. She made her way back up the canyon in a similar way, pushing off strings, grabbing another above her, and swinging from string to string like a monkey until she finally propelled her body off on last string and landed cleanly and silently on the ground, once again at the top of the cliff where she had started.

"Easy-peasy lemon-squeezy," Fern muttered to herself with a smirk as she gripped the egg gentle in her hand.

Laughter came from behind her, and Fern blinked and turned around just in time to spot Killua emerging from the canyon and landing smoothly next to her. "Nice saying, Blondie," he teased, grinning up at her cockily.

Fern rolled her eyes. "I didn't make it up."

He shrugged and grinned wider. "Well, you're still weird for saying it."

She whacked him in the arm.

"Ow!" Killua whined, clutching at the place where she had hit him. "Why are girls so violent?"

Fern rolled her eyes again and crossed her arms against her chest. "Oh, stop whining!" she reprimanded. "And besides, not all girls are violent."

"Ehhh?" The corner of his mouth twitched into a smirk. "So you're the _only _violent one?"

_Whack!_

"Ouch! See, I was right! You_ are_ a crazy, violen—

_Whack!_

"Hey! My point exactly!"

"…..…"

"…What?" Killua taunted, a smirk coming upon his face, "Not gonna hit me again? Did you run out of fuel or something?"

"…My hand hurts," Fern muttered in disbelief. She lifted her hand to show the slightly irritated skin of her left hand. "What are you on, steroids? You dope! What did you do to my hand?"

Silence…

Fern blinked in confusion. "Um, hello?" she asked, furrowing her brow slightly. She waved her hand around in front of Killua's face. "Anyone there?"

He stared at her hand, and he stared, and he stared more, and then—

"You're hands are _manly_!" Killua suddenly exclaimed boldly, taking his index finger and prodding her hand with it.

"Your mom is manly," Fern snarled, pushing his hand away. "And your sister is too. And for the record, my hands are not_ manly_. You're hands are just girly."

"I don't have a sister," Killua grumbled. "But two of my brothers are really girly," he admitted, thinking. "My mom_ is_ insane though."

"What do you know? It runs in the family," Fern said. Then she turned her head towards the pot and motioned at it with her hand. "Now shall we boil our eggs and get on with this exam already?"

Killua sighed and rolled his eyes, sticking his hands in his pockets and making his way towards the pot. "Coming, coming…" He bit back a grin as he sauntered over to her, intentionally whacking the back of her head with his skateboard as he passed.

"Excuse me!" she huffed, running after him.

…

_Payback, _he thought to himself with a mischievous grin.

He'd let her whack him earlier. He got the impression she knew he was allowing it, and that was part the reason why she did it—because she knew she could get away with it. It wasn't as though he couldn't have easily dodged each and every one of her whacks, but he hadn't. Why?

Because she was amusing. He didn't really know why he stuck around with her, but he guessed it was because, like Gon, being with her was…well…_ fun_. She was kind of like a good video game too, now that he thought about it. He kept pressing the "games" buttons to see what the "game" would do.

Killua really didn't want for this game to end quite yet. Not the Hunter Exam, not Gon, not Blondie—not even for the old Pops and Kurapika. He didn't want to go home. He didn't want to leave. Because like a gamer and their video game, once he started playing it, he couldn't stop.

Would it be so bad to play this game for just a little bit longer?

After all, he wasn't quite sure he was ready for "GAME OVER" to happen yet.

. . .

End of Chapter 11...

Thoughts? Did you like Killua's POV at the end? What do you think of Fern's reluctance to trust others?

Should I update twice a week?

Review. ...Or I'll probably forget to update. I'm not even kidding. That's not a threat, well it is I guess if you like my story that much, but actually it's the truth. If you don't review and remind me that I actually have to update this I kind of forget, because I'm writing like five other things at the same time. I don't know. I think I have short term memory loss or maybe I just hit my head one too many times on a door. I tend to do that. Sooo yeah.

Review.


	13. A Shameful Truth

A/N: I am too lazy to type my life story here. So instead I will tell you my death story. I died when I ate chocolate. It was so good I died. It was like mass suicide. There you go.

I happen to like this chapter alot. Because I am a sadist like that.

Read and Review. Because you know you are a sadist like that too.

XD

**Disclaimer: I own Fern. I don't own HXH. Obviously. **

**Chapter 12: A Shameful Truth**

The second exam had ended with just 42 candidates passing.

42. A shocking number, really, if one were to consider that the exam had started with 405 candidates. Because that meant that over 300 people had been eliminated in the course of just one day, and two exams. Wow.

Fern was quite sure out of those 300, about 100 were probably either missing, or just plain dead. Or eaten. Or (if they fell into the river at the bottom of Menchi's cliff) getting pooped on by fish at the bottom of the ocean.

Fern sighed.

…Somehow, that was not very reassuring.

"Ah, there you are Fern!" a familiar voice sounded from in front of her.

Fern looked up to see Gon running towards her, Killua trailing just a little bit behind him. "Oh," she said. "Hey guys."

"Hey!" Gon greeted enthusiastically as he came to arrive at her side. He then looked down at her, blinked, and frowned slightly, asking, "Why are you on the floor?"

She sighed. "I'm sitting," she replied. "What else would I be doing? Trying to summon a gigantic elephant so that heavy that the blimp collapses and we all get flattened into the ground like pancakes?"

"You're so weird I wouldn't be surprised," Killua interjected as he too pulled to a stop in front of her. He grinned as he got her attention. "When it's you, Blondie, no one knows. There's a lot of weird things someone as weird as you could be doing, like…"

She waved her hand back and forth dismissively. "Yeah, yeah, whatever," she sighed, closing her eyes. "Fern's a weirdo, Killua's annoying,"- she paused and opened her eyes to shoot Gon a pointed look as he opened his mouth to say something..–" and Gon preaches the holy words of his god Aunt Mito-san." She rolled her eyes. "We get the point." She let out a deep breath. "So, anyways," she continued, "what's up?"

Gon grinned. "Well, since Menchi-san said it's free time till we arrive at the next place, me and Killua—"

Fern coughed into her palm. "Killua and I," she muttered.

"-thought it would be fun to explore the spaceship!" he finished happily, seemingly unaware (or at least, unbothered) by her interruption.

"And?" Fern questioned when she felt his eyes on her.

"You'll come with us, right?" Gon asked, gazing at her eagerly.

Well, she wasn't all that tired, and she didn't have anything else to do, so… "'Kay," she agreed.

Killua smirked.

. . .

Fern collapsed on the bench with a loud groan. "Oh my gooood," she moaned, rolling onto her back and sprawling across the bench. She closed her eyes and blocked the light out by throwing her arm across her face. "Sooo tired. I'm dead Completely, officially DEAD."

"What're you whining about?" Killua raised an eyebrow. "That was nothing."

Fern cracked an eye open to glare at the white-headed boy. "Oh yeah, sure, maybe for you. But I am actually a normal person—not an inhuman zombie. Like you two."

Gon laughed sheepishly. "Zombie? You think so?"

"Totally," Fern confirmed, but uncovered her eyes and sat up with a sigh. "Well, we've explored every part of the ship. What now?"

Killua shrugged. "'Dunno. We coul—

"Wow!" Gon exclaimed. He was on the bench on his knees, with his hands pressed against the glass of the window. "This is awesome…It looks like jewelry that's spread out all over the place."

Fern blinked and looked out the window. The city lights below them were white polka-dots in the dark of night. She rested her head on her arms and gazed tiredly out the window. "Mmm…" she mumbled, stifling a yawn. "It's pretty."

"Wait." Killua sat on the bench next to her, putting his elbow on the window sill and resting his chin in his hand. "You guys have never seen a night view before?" He was so close to her, his soft white hair tickling her cheeks.

"This is my first time," Fern admitted. She felt Killua's eyes burning holes in her head, but didn't look away from the window. "Where I live," she began, "the sky's too polluted to see the stars. What about you?"

"My family owns a plane." Killua stared out the window with half-lidded, bored eyes. "We _need _a plane. Our house is on a huge mountain. So I've seen it a million times."

"What?" Fern and Gon exclaimed in unison.

Killua was unbothered. "We also have about 200 workers."

Fern gaped. _A plane? A mountain? 200 workers? What the hell? Who the hell is rich enough to waste money on crap like that?_ She closed her mouth to shoot Killua a dry look. _Well, his family is, apparently. _ She groaned. "Not….fair. I hate you _so_ much right now."

"Eh…So your family is rich, Killua," Gon remarked, slightly awed. "What do your parents do?"

Fern leaned forward, intrigued. "Yeah, what _do_ they do? I mean, they've gotta be doing something impressive to be that rich. Since they obviously don't crap money out of their ass, I mean."

Killua shrugged, before answering casually, "Assassins."

"Both of them?" Gon asked while Fern said, "Oh, so they_ aren't_ mafia bosses…"

Fern turned to Gon and rolled her eyes. "Of course it's both of them. He said assassins, sssss, like, plural. Two of them. Dos! Mom and Dad."

Killua's laughter interrupted her.

Fern raised an eyebrow. "Okay, what the hell? Why is that so funny?" She jabbed her thumb at Gon. "I could totally understand his, but not my question." She crossed her arms against her chest. "My question was perfectly reasonable_ and_ predictable."

"Pfft," Killua snorted. "Was not. Most people when they hear me say 'Assassin', they either tell me I'm joking, faint, or run away screaming. Not ask,"- he paused here and made a stupid face-"Are they mafia bosses?" he finished in a high-pitched, girly voice.

Fern shoved him lightly. "I _do not_ sound like that!" she protested, blushing slightly.

"Well, it doesn't matter anyway. I was _kidding_." Killua grinned mischievously. "My parents? Asssassins? No way! That's such a joke." He burst into laughter. "I can't believe you guys actually fell for that!"

Fern's eyes narrowed."Liar."

Killua froze.

"You were telling the truth, right?" Gon agreed, frowning.

Killua's eyes went wide. "…How'd you know?" he finally asked, surprised.

Gon shrugged. "…I just sort of know."

"No, you just suck at lying," Fern droned bluntly. "Besides, if that was a joke, it would've been one hell of a stupid one."

"We-ird," Killua drawled. He sighed, pouting slightly. "Most people find me charming because you don't know when I'm serious or not."

_I'd like to meet these people who think a brat like you is charming, _Fern thought snidely. But she stayed quiet. Killua was actually serious, and she didn't want to ruin that. He may have been pouting and cracking jokes right and left, but at that moment, he was dead serious.

"…All of my family members are assassins," Killua finally began. "We kill anyone if we get money. And my whole family expects me to turn out be an incredible assassin. Since…forever, I've been learning how to kill. Ugh…it's so annoying. Killing is…whatever. I don't even care." He shrugged. "I just don't want to live a life where someone else is always telling me what to do."

Killua made a face of both skepticism and annoyance, jabbing his index finger at himself. "And when I said, 'I'm going to pick my own future' my family got pissed!" he complained loudly, frowning. "My mom even _lectured_ me, while crying, about how much potential I have as an assassin! Don't you think they're terrible parents? Normally, someone in my place would become a delinquent child."

"Wait, then what happened?" Fern asked, blinking. "You left?"

"Yeah. It became a fight in the end," Killua answered. "So I beat up my mom and brother and left the house."

Fern choked. "Are you for real? You beat up your mom who's a trained assassin? What the hell? What if she killed you?"

"She wouldn't," Killua dismissed it. "_You're_ more likely to kill me than her. You know, they're probably looking for me right now." He grinned foxily. "But if they do come, I'll just beat them up again."

"I would hate to have you as my child," Fern remarked.

"I would hate to have you as my mom," he said back. Then his face lit up. "You know, if I do become a Hunter, I'm going to capture all of my family members!" A dreamy look passed over his face. "I think I'll be able to sell them for a good price…" he trailed off, absorbed in his own money-rich fantasies.

"I want half your earnings for helping you think up the idea," Fern said.

Killua groaned. "No way. I'm using all the money to buy chocolate." He grinned evilly. "I can't wait. All that chocolate…"

Fern sighed. She retreated for a moment, staring out the window to think. Her mind was in turmoil, everything jumbled up and thrown all over the place.

_Killua's an assassin? _Fern thought to herself. She frowned slightly. It wasn't that fact that he killed people that made her mind blow up. It was that she was suddenly having a hard time picking through the information in her head. She ran through all her conversations with Killua, sorting them into files of half-truths, truths, and truth-disguised-as-jokes—because Killua had a lot of those truth-disguised-as-jokes.

She didn't understand why he felt the need to make everything serious into a joke. Was it because he feared the truth about him would drive them away? Did he fear they would reject him when he admitted his family's profession? Maybe he thought making a joke out of it would make it hurt less if they left. Humor was probably just his way of coping. Like keeping silent and ignoring it was Fern's.

"Fern?" Gon's voice suddenly interrupted her thoughts.

Fern jumped, startled. "Huh?" she stuttered, her gaze snapping up the two boys in front of her who were staring at her strangely.

"Are you okay?" Gon asked, clueless. His brow furrowed slightly. "I've been calling your name for a while now."

"Oh, um… whoops. My bad." She shrugged. "I was kind of spaced-out."

Gon nodded, before he opened his mouth and asked, "…Can I ask you something? Why do you want to be a Hunter?"

Her eyes widened slightly. Oh, that was right. Gon had already told them he wanted to be a Hunter to find his dad, and Killua had just shared his reason, so…that meant she was the only one left. But…did she want to tell them? It would only be fair if she did…But…

She averted her eyes to the ground. Her stomach clenched with unease. _I don't want to…_Could she tell them she needed the money? That she was a poor freak who had no parents, no home, no money? That she was nothing more than a common street rat? What if they looked at her differently? Like she was dirty, unworthy—scum? Or even worse, what if they wouldn't look at her at all?

A wave of uncertainty swept through her.

Would they leave her?

Laugh at her?

Ridicule her?

_Cringe away_ from her?

She wanted to believe they wouldn't. But no one liked liars, no one liked thieves, and no one really liked homeless people. No one really liked people like Fern. People were afraid of people like her. They called her and dumps like Meteor City menaces to society. Garbage. Parasites.

How would Killua and Gon react?

She bit down hard on her cheek.

She didn't know.

"Fern?" Gon asked. "You don't have to tell us if you don't want to," he reassured her.

Killua snorted, causing Fern's and Gon's eyes to flash toward him. "Don't be so soft on her, Gon." His gaze was hard as he stared down at her. "If she doesn't trust us enough to tell us then she doesn't deserve your sympathy."

Gon opened his mouth to protest. "But Killua-

"No," Fern interjected. Gon's eyes snapped to hers in surprise, but Killua just kept his eyes locked on her, staring her down. "He's right," she said. "I'll tell you."

Fern let out a deep sigh, calm on the outside, jumpy and nervous on the inside. Humiliation squeezed her stomach into a tight fist. _Lie. No tell the truth. Lielielie come on, Fern, no I can't, what if—what if—_

"My reason for taking the Hunter Exam is similar to Leorio's," she said. She could barely hear herself over the sound of her blood in her ears, her heart thrumming in her chest. "Money." _Oh no. Why did you say that? Why didn't you lie? You can't tell them, they'll hate you. No one likes the poor kid. No no, if you lied they'd know and they'd hate you more. _

_Who cares? They can hate me, I don't ca-_

"Money?" Gon asked curiously. "Why?"

She lowered her eyes. _You can't say you're homeless. It's gross. You're so gross._ Her hands were trembling, a cold sweat all over her body. _But can't I? No, Killua's rich, what would he say? '__**You don't even have a house, what's wrong with you? You sleep on the streets? Disgusting. And you steal? Street trash, you're probably diseased. The rich pay money to get rid of you poor people, but you don't even appreciate it. Don't your parents even work? Go back to your dump. You don't belong here.'**__ No, no, he wouldn't say that, he's not—__**but it's true**__—can't you just trust them?_

She shook all over, her tongue weak, her throat closing in on itself. "…I…I'm…" She closed her eyes to calm herself and leant forward to rest her forehead on the cold glass of the window. _Say it. Say it say it say it. _"I'm…" _Homeless, freak, streetrat, trash, orphan, thief, freakingfreakinghomeless—_**I can't do it. **

"….Poor."

Poor.

_Poor? _She cringed. _What kind of understatement was that? Idiot. Lying bitch. No wonder you don't have friends. Can't even tell the truth when you want to. _Shame attacked her like a flood. _I couldn't say it. I can't._ _They won't…they won't talk to me anymore. I'll be the freak, alone, _again,_ —I need them as, as allies. Y-yeah. I just need allies. _

"…Poor?" Gon asked.

Killua narrowed his eyes. "There's more isn't there?"

_Yes. No. No. Yes. No._

"Killua! You shouldn't press her," Gon chided, concerned.

Killua's face darkened. "Shouldn't press her? Gon, are you kidding?"

Fern felt light-headed. She opened her mouth. "I already told y-

"Yeah right. That wasn't it, I can tell when you leave stuff out, and you do it all the time. So what's your problem?" Killua sneered at her. Anger flashed in his eyes. "Me and Gon told you 'bout us. What do you have to hide? I just told you my family murders for money. And you still don't want to tell the truth? If we wanted to hang around a liar, we could've just asked Tompa. I knew we shouldn't have hung around you." He shot her a disgusted glance and turn to Gon. "See, I told you she wasn't gonna be good. Girls are always like this. She's just a liar. Come on, let's just leave her alone, she obviously doesn't want us around." He tugged on Gon's sleeve.

Her jaw tightened, pressure building up behind her eyes. _I knew it._

"Killua!" Gon protested. "No. Stop."

"Why?" Killua shot back. "You taking her side?" He glared at her so harshly she flinched.

"You're gonna make her cry," Gon whispered, glancing at her nervously. But Fern heard. Her cheeks flushed red, and she swallowed heavily, but the ball in her throat wouldn't move. She wasn't going to . She wasn't…._I'm not going to. Suck it up. You're such a baby. Why are you so upset? You knew it was coming. See? He hates you. _

Killua wheeled around to face Fern. "Oh, and now you're gonna get upset?" He snickered. "What're you gonna do? Run home to mommy and daddy and cry and whine until they get you whatever you want? You were lying about the being poor thing, weren't you? I bet you just wanted us to feel bad for you, oh no, the poor girl doesn't have money, how sad." He scoffed. "I bet your life is great."

Her throat was dry. "Yeah," she said, swallowing. "You're right. I was lying. My life is amazing. Freaking amazing." _Stop. Don't say anymore stopstopstop_

"See, Gon?" Killua jeered. "I told you. She's just a—

"-Girl with nothing going for her," the words blurted from her mouth.

Killua's eyes shot to her. "Wha—

"Shut up. My life's incredible, right? No house. No money. No friends. No family. I just love it so much." Her voice cracked. "You can have it if you want it."

He went silent.

"Shocked to silence, huh?" Her chest panged. Tears were welling up in her eyes. She looked away. "Sounds weird, sounds retarded, whatever, I know. Believe me or not, I don't care. I'm h…h…." She swallowed. "Home…." _No I can't yes do i_—"Homeless."

Her words began to shake. She looked down, away, anywhere to escape their eyes. _Don't look at me, please, please. _"I live on the streets. In a dump." Tears spilled down her cheeks, warm and wet. Her voice began tiny and squeaky. _Stop crying. I can't. So, so weak. I'm sorry._ "I steal and trick people for money like"—she hiccupped—"every other good hobo, a-and—I-I-d-don't-b-but-"

A sob racked through her body. "S-ssorry," she stuttered out through sobs. Her hands rubbed at her eyes furiously, but the tears wouldn't coming. Frustration and shame ripped through her. She shook her head. "I'm sorry. I-d-d-don't…I don't know w-why I'm crying. It's stupid. So stupid." Her entire body trembled. Her temples pulsed, she curled her toes and uncurled them, pressed her lips together as tight as she could. "D-don't look a-at me. I-I'm-sorry, p-please go. A-away."

Neither of them moved.

Fern hiccupped and wiped her eyes. She took a deep, shuddering breath. "I-I know b-being homeless is disgusting." Her voice gave out. She tried again. "A-and weird. And you don't-you don't have to t-talk to me- anymore, it's just-really." She breathed. "Really. Not. Um. Easy to say." She clutched her hands so tight they lost color. "B-but." Her forehead wrinkled. _Don't cry. Don't cry._ She squeezed her watering eyes shut. "I didn't—m-mean t-t-t-l-li-lie-b-bu-"

Suddenly, there was warmth. Arms around her. Comfort. A sob ripped through her, and without caring who or what it was, she burrowed into the bodies' shirt. "It's okay," Gon said, patting her head nervously. "Fern? Fern? Um…please don't be sad. Um…or mad."

"S-sorry," Fern stumbled. She wiped her eyes and pulled away from Gon, looking away. Gon sighed, but stared at Killua, who fidgeted awkwardly. Fern refused to look at him, that burning in her gut making her vision blurry again and her throat choke up.

Killua's cheeks flamed red. He wouldn't meet her eye.

"Look, I-I'm sorry. F-for being poor. And h-homeless and stuff. And not saying…it…" Fern clutched at her dress, embarrassment sinking low in her gut.

"No," Killua said suddenly. She stared him. He gulped. "I..uh…" He wiped the palms of his hands on his shorts. "Yeah..uh…" He ducked his head. "…no…don't apologize. I'm…the one who…" He shook his head. "…Sorry."

There was an awkward moment of silence. Then Gon pulled Killua over and whispered something in his ear. Killua turned red again and glanced quickly at Fern. Doubt flashed across his face, but Gon shoved him forward.

Killua stumbled forward, and Fern stared at the floor, unable to look him in the eye. The boy forced an awkward grin. He walked over to her and laughed. "What the hell? Why're we all so weird? Gon's a dog, I kill people for cash, and you're a closet hobo."

_Closet hobo?_

She bristled. "You're a closet jerk," Fern mumbled back, still refusing to look him in the eye.

Killua sighed loudly. "Geez…" He sat down next to her, stretched out across the bench on his back and casually flopped his white head down on her lap.

Fern stiffened. "W-what are you doing?" she stuttered, staring at him through teary eyes.

She thought he was blushing slightly, but he just grinned wider, mischievously, like a cat. "I need a pillow," he sneered. "But you're so bony."

"Yeah, well you're fat!" she yelled, shoving him. He didn't move, just stared at her. Then she sniffed. "I just said I'm homeless, or in your words a closet hobo. What do you expect? You think I eat five course every day?"

"Oh my god," Killua complained, frowning. "You're still crying? You're such a girl. Stop already."

She glared at him, embarrassed.

"Sorry!" he backtracked quickly, panicking. "Okay? Sorry, I didn't mean it. Crying is…good. You can cry. Uh…but…cry on Gon. Not me." He cringed then, at Fern's harsh glare. She couldn't believe him. So she just bawled her eyes out in front of him, and all he does is say, "Ooooh you're such a girl stop crying." _Freaking. Freaking. JERK!_

"Don't give me that look…" Killua groaned, covering his eyes. "I don't get girls, okay? I'm trying…" His eears were red. "…to be uh…nice, but it's not working..."

Fern wiped her eyes. "Insensitive jerk."

"I said sorry already, didn't ?!" Killua yelled, exasperated.

"No!" Fern protested loudly. She grabbed his hand and started using it to slap himself. "Idiot! Big, ridiculous idiot!"

"Ouch! Okay. Stop!" Killua flailed around until he grabbed her wrist.

She paused.

He sighed in relief, using his other hand to rub his sore cheek. "Then what am I supposed to do?"

Fern retracted her hand to cross her arms under her chest. "Look, when I insult you, you're supposed to insult me back." She rolled her eyes. "It's like, the unspoken rule of arguments. Duh."

"What? How was I supposed to know that?" Killua shouted back in disbelief. "I thought girls liked when guys were nice! You're so annoying!"

Fern jumped up off the bench, sending Killua tumbling to the floor. "You're so stupid!"

Killua stood up and glared at her. "Old hag!"

"Old geezer!"

"Dumb blonde!"

This went on for a while, until Fern grew tired. Her eyelids drooped and she rubbed her eyes, letting out a deep breath and collapsing onto the bench. "Shut up…" she groaned.

"You shut up…" Killua groaned back. He flopped down next to her and shoved her, sending her off the end of the bench onto the floor. She groaned. He grinned triumphantly. "Killua: 1000. Fern: 0."

Fern's hand shot up and yanked Killua down next to her. She smirked, jumping up and sitting on his stomach. "Killua: negative 1000. Fern: infinity."

Killua groaned, pushing her lightly, but she didn't budge. "You're so heavy."

She jabbed him in the stomach. "You have no abs."

"You're like a dude."

"You're like a girl."

They looked at each other and then there was quiet. Fern stared. Killua stared.

They burst out laughing. "Oh my god…oh…the hell…." Fern laughed so hard she fell off Killua and ending up lying on the floor. Killua tried not to laugh, but ending up snorting, and they laughter grew louder.

"I guess that means…they're friends again?" Gon questioned, puzzled by their strange antics.

"No," Fern stuttered through laughter.

"I hate her," Killua gasped. "Freaking witch."

Gon puffed up his chest. He suddenly felt very left out and decided to do something about it. He sighed and plopped down cross-legged on the floor in front of them and looked at the two very seriously. "Guys…" he began gravely. "If you two like…liked each other, like, like liked each other…you would tell me, right?"

Killua turned red. Fern stared at him incredulously.

Gon stared deeply.

Silence stretched across the room.

"…Oh." Gon smiled suddenly. "Just kidding."

….

….

"GON!"

. . .

End of Chapter 12

Because I think Gon is much more evil than he appears.

And Killua is much more shy than he appears.

And Fern is much more weak than she appears.

And Kurapika and Leorio got forgotten. Boo hoo hoo.

Review if you ever want to SEE THEM AGAIN! MUAHAHAHASSKDFNAKFEKDfmaLKEf AEKJfNAK!

Whoa, look guys, there is fma in my random spastic laughter. I knew Edward Elric was haunting me. He just loves me too much. And you love me too much too so you should review. I love my reviewers.

Questions GUYS! WHAT DID YOU THINK OF FERN'S BREAKDOWN? Can you relate? And what about the fluff? Good? Bad?

Review.


	14. Glitch a Game

**A/N:** Hey peeps! Thanks soo very much for the reviews last chapter. Sooo here's another. Nothing special in this one, unfortunately, but I (think) the next one is pretty fluffy.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own HXH.

. . .

**Chapter 13: Glitch a Game**

Fern stumbled out of the airship at the last minute before the ramp retreated back into the ship and the door closed. She let out a big, long sigh of relief as she bent over her knees, breathing heavy and panting. "Oh god…" she breathed. "Barely…made…it." Taking one last heavy breath, she swiped her hand across her forehead before straightening up and taking a glance around her.

They appeared to be on some sort of tall, elevated platform. The sun also seemed to be below them, though that was probably only because it was still early in the morning.

She turned and took in the area they had been dropped off at. They were at the top of a tower, on the flat platform of a roof. There were no stairs going down. They were basically trapped here, if they didn't want to rock climb down the sides. But perhaps there were exits elsewhere?

Hearing the sound of someone clearing his throat, Fern lifted her head. A small, egg-headed man stood outside of the blimp. "The place where the Third Exam with take place will be here—Trick Tower," the man announced. "The rules are simple. Get off the tower alive! The time limit is 72 hours! Okay, start!"

_Well, crap, that was one _long _shitload of rules._

It didn't take very long for Fern to figure out what was going on. The first thing she noticed was the candidates disappearing one by one. There had originally been about forty of them, but now, there were only thirty five. That meant there was an entrance into the tower somewhere. And likely, that entrance was…

Fern smirked as she tapped her foot against the rectangular tile in front of her. A hollow sound echoed back.

…through the floor tiles.

Kneeling on her knee, Fern reached forward, wiggled her fingers into the space between the tiles, and lifted it slowly. She grimaced. It was heavy, and Fern was definitely neither built like a weight-lifted nor trained like a weight-lifter, and in strength tests like this, it definitely showed. Still, she used the rest of her body weight to pull the slab up until it was at a ninety-degree angle, and…

Fern's smirk grew. _And lo-and-behold_, she whispered in her mind. _I've found my entrance. _She let a low whistle at the black, tunnel- like hole in the ground. It was big enough to fit…three of her. Or her and some fat person. _Fancy._

Fern leaned forward. She started to slide her small body into the big hole. Footsteps echoed toward her, getting louder by the second. _Someone's coming. And quickly. _

She looked up and gaped. "What the—Tompa?" The heavy man with the box-shaped nose was barreling towards her like he was a Great Stamp, his strides long and his movements quick. "What do you wa—"

Tompa ripping her hand away from the slab. He rammed his large shoulder into her rib. She stumbled, clutching her stomach in pain.

"Shit!" she swore, gasping for breath.

"Sorry, kid," Tompa chuckled. "Entrance's mine now." He kneeled where Fern was before and lifted the slab again, preparing to wiggle his way in.

There was no way she was going to let him get away with this. _She'd_ found the entrance, and _she _was going to use it. He was not going to steal it from her. Because Fern was a thief, and thieves steal, not get stolen from.

_Bam!_

Fern tackled him, throwing her whole body at the larger man. He stumbled and fell forward, tumbling head-first into the tunnel. Fern fell through with him, her skinny body sliding right in next to his fat one.

_One second _in the air. _Two seconds_ in the air. _Three seconds _coming down. _Four seconds-_

Fern shrieked. "OH MY GOD! I'M FALLING! I'M GONNA DIE! BUT I'M TOO FREAKING YOUNG TO DIEEEEE—"

She stopped screaming for a second to look down. "Oh shit." Bricks, bricks, she saw _bricks_. She was going to fall and land on bricks and crack her head open and_ die_.

_Thump. _

Fern's eyes snapped open. The fall had stopped. She'd landed. Her back had fallen first, but it hadn't cracked. The landing was quite soft, in fact. She blinked again. She was lying on her back, staring up at the ceiling in shock.

She couldn't believe it. She'd landed, and she was still alive. Fern blinked again, still in shock. "Oh," she breathed. "That wasn't too bad."

Fern smiled down at the man she had landed on, patting his flubbery belly. "Well, at least you're good for something."

Tompa just groaned in pain.

. . .

Path of Majority Rule.

The name of the path said it all. It was a game of voting, and Fern and Tompa would not be alone (thank god). Four others would be sharing this fate with them. Originally, there were only supposed to be five candidates, but with Fern and Tompa taking one door together, there would be six.

Against the wall of the room was a podium with a sign on top of it. The sign read 'Path of Majority Rule' (which was how Fern figured _that_ out), and the podium held five different watches. That's right, five. Five watches for five people.

Except there would probably be six.

Tompa and Fern, by going down the same trap door, had glitched the game.

"How long have we been waiting for?" Tompa asked again.

Fern rolled her eyes. "Two hours and two minutes. And you asked that same question one minute and twenty four seconds ago." She rolled her eyes. "I hope you realize that these four people might not even turn up. And we fail. Just like that."

Tompa's face darkened. "They better. I'm not going to fail because some other idiot couldn't find a stupid square on the ground."

She eyed him dully. "You're one to talk. You didn't even find your own square-you tried to steal mine." Fern watched with half-lidded eyes as Tompa grew angrier and angrier. _God, he's such an idiot, _she thought to herself.

_**Tap. **_

Fern blinked and raised her eyes to the ceiling. _What's that noise?_

_**Tap. Tap. **_

She frowned. _From the ceiling? What-_

_**Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. **_

Fern jumped to her feet. "Yes!" she exclaimed, throwing her arms up into the air. "Yes, yes, yes!"

"What?" Tompa snarled.

Fern turned and shot him a grin. "They're here!"

Four tiles flipped. Four people.

Hm.

Um.

_What?_

"Gon, Kurapika, Leorio, Killua?" Fern exclaimed in disbelief.

Killua gaped. "Blondie?" His face twisted. "You _again_?"

The others grinned at each other and laugh. "Hey," they said. "Long time no see."

Kurapika and Leorio and Gon smiled, and she smiled back at them—

-before turning around to smirk at Killua. "Ha, see, _they_ all like me."

"Well, they're obviously crazy!" he replied dismayed.

"That's why they all say," Fern sighed overdramatically. "You're just jealous of me. And all my smarts. And beauty. And grace."

"What grace?" Killua grumbled.

"But anyway…" She straightened up and faced the group. "Let's start the exam."

Fern smirked and uncrossed her arms from her chest. She jabbed her thumb towards the podium with the five watches on it. "Get one of those things on and let's go."

"But there's only five," Kurapika remarked.

Fern shrugged. "I don't want one." Seriously. What if it was a bomb trigger? And X? O? For yes and no probably, but did they have to make it the signs for hugs and kisses? Hugs and Kisses signs in a Hunter Exam when people got killed. Sickos.

She wasn't going to touch those things.

. . .

The tower turned out to be a voting ballot. The first questions were stupid. 'Right or Left', 'Open the door or not', or 'Go up the stairs or stay'. Because of course they were just going to pick stay. And wait in the room forever. That made sense. Not.

Fern halted in her stride. "What's that?" she asked, raising her arm to point.

They had been walking for only a little while now—probably only an hour at most. Leorio glared at Tompa, Kurapika sighed fifty-six times (she counted), Killua kept pulling her hair and tugging it and messing it up and then insulting her about it for no apparent reason. And Gon wouldn't stop smiling. But nothing had really happened yet.

So what was that bright light in the distance?

The rest of the group stopped and turned to squint at the direction she was pointed. "That?" Leorio asked. "The bright light?"

_Nooo, the light behind it_. _The one that means your schizophrenic. _Fern nodded, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. _Not the time for sarcasm_, she reminded herself. "I think I see some people, or at least, things_ shaped_ like people."

Kurapika nodded. "I see them too. We'll see when we get there."

"Aw damn," she complained. "I was hoping we could just stick to the lame yes or no questions."

Killua shrugged from beside her. "We're probably gonna have to fight them. But it should be fine," he said. A smirk came upon his face. "They'll probably be easy, for me, anyway." He snickered. "Prob'ly not for you."

Fern rolled her eyes. "You are such a show-off."

"What, is Blondie scared?" He grinned teasingly. "I'll fight in your place if you are."

"I'm not scared, dumbass." She looked up at the ceiling. "Just a bit…" she trailed off and frowned slightly, not knowing what to say.

"Scared?" he snickered.

She gave him a flat look. "No."

. . .

As Fern stepped out of the dark tunnel and into the brightly lit room, she realized immediately it was some type of stadium. Large brick walls closed them in. A square, raised platform stood in the center of the room.

Across from where Fern was, there was another ledge. Five people stood on it. Thick brown handcuffs were wrapped around their wrists as restraints. Prisoners.

"You will have to fight the five of us," a prisoner announced, throwing off his gray cloak. He was bald and ugly. Wow. What a shocker. Hanzo looked like a little girl next this steroid-abusing giant.

Fern grimaced. "Yaaaay, fighting buffed up men with twelve-packs instead of sick-packs. I always wanted to die of a Shuck Morris body slam!"

"The matches are one-on-one," the man continued. "A person can only fight once. If you win three times, you can go on. How you fight doesn't matter, but there will be no draws. When one gives up, the other is the winner. Vote to accept this match or not!" the prisoner shouted. "If yes 'O'. If no 'X'.

Fern blinked. "Wait. We have six. They have five. Does that mean that one of us won't have to fight?"

Killua dropped his arm from her shoulder to yawn. "Guess so. You shouldn't fight. You're a girl," he sneered. "You'll lose and then you'll cry if you didn't get squashed or something." He pressed a button on his watch.

"Wah, wah, wah," Fern muttered sarcastically. "I'm sooo sooo scared."

"Fine," the large man said. "Four out of five votes…You have accepted the challenge." A smirk curled the corners of his lips up. "I'll be the first one to go." Excitement seemed to practically roll off of him in waves.

"I'll go first," Tompa volunteered.

The others looked at him doubtfully, but Fern just shrugged. "Okay," she said. "Go." She shooed him away.

Tompa nodded firmly and walked onto the platform.

_Yes, yes, go ahead…box nose…go ahead…_

She raised an a mildly amused eyebrow as she watched the back of Tompa move closer to the prisoner.

_Go and get your butt kicked. _

. . .

The first match ended with Tompa giving up. It took, literally, five seconds. Steroid-man ran at Tompa. Tompa squealed like a pig. Tompa didn't want to be a pancake. Tompa gave up. Tompa lost.

The End.

The second match was between Gon and some wimpy guy who looked like a drowned, starved raccoon. The wimp had an endless supply of candles stuffed up his butt. Seriously. Where the freak was he pulling those things from? You'd think he was a human birthday cake or something. Then the dude started some mental battle with Gon.

Gon won because he was stupidly smart.

And now, the third match was about to begin: Kurapika against some phony, bat-shit crazy man who tried too hard to look like the Frankenstein monster. He didn't have a nose, he was missing a couple teeth, and he was probably missing a brain too. He was the fugliest thing she'd ever seen, even uglier than Tompa. He looked like a rat with rabies that got mauled by an evil cat and puked up by a snake.

"I've killed nineteen so far," the man spoke slowly. He giggled….or maybe he was hyperventilating. "But the number nineteen is odd, so I was getting a little irritated. But now I'm happy…" His grin widened. "The twentieth has finally appeared!"

_Those nineteen people probably dropped dead from the sheer fugliness of your face, _she thought to herself, disgusted. _And I think I'm about to become the twentieth one. Seriously, what the freak did he do to his face? Can that thing even be called a face? _

"Let's have a death match," the man said.

"Fine," Kurapika accepted, unaffected. "Let's go."

Fern froze. _What?_ She took a step backwards, uneasy, and accidently stumbled into Killua. He didn't move, just grabbed her wrist. "Scared?" he taunted.

"Kurapika won't be able to kill him," Fern said with a frown. "He's obviously never killed someone before. What is he thinking?"

Just seconds after the words came out of Fern's mouth, the Imitation-Frankenstein man laughed loudly, and began to charge at Kurapika. "Watch carefully!" the man yelled. He grinned and pulled back his arm, the muscles in his body flexing and straining from the pressure as he tightened his fist. "You'll see how dreadful I am!"

_BAM!_

His fist slammed into the rock floor.

"No way!" Leorio exclaimed. "He destroyed the floor with his bare hands!"

_No, _Fern thought. Her eyes narrowed. _His hands probably have some kind of metal implanted in them. Or steel. Another bluff._

Kurapika remained unfazed. He drew two wooden sticks and held them out. He was deadly calm.

But the man only grinned.

Slowly, he turned, shifting his body ever so slightly to the left. What first came into view was his bare, muscled shoulder, and then part of his back, and then his shoulder blade, and then—

Fern's eyes widened.

-_The Spider Tattoo_.

. . .

End of Chapter 13.

Review? Please? O.O Those are my owl eyes, yes owl eyes not puppy eyes, because I am unique and original and crazy like that.

Questions: What do you want to see Fern and Killua doing together? (no not anything dirty you crazy people) What do you think of Killua and Fern's developing relationship?

Review. Because you love me and you know it. If you don't review, it's okay.

You're in denial.

XD


	15. Sedentary Motion

**A/N: This chapter is one big bomb of fluff...Whatever...**

**I GOT FANART! XD XD XD XD It's so cute! **

**Check this out: xxdaisuki-koixx. deviantart gallery /# /d5gxr58**

**Sooo who wants to draw fanart for me next? Yeah all of you, I know, I am so cool, yeah, all of you should draw me something... :P**

**Disclaimer: I do not own HXH. **

**Chapter 14: Sedentary Motion**

"A spider with twelve legs?" Killua questioned, frowning.

Leorio gasped. "That's—that's," he stuttered, shocked.

"-Proof you're a Phantom Brigade member," Fern finished. She pressed her lips together in a firm line and glowered. She felt the eyes of her fellow candidates upon her, curious as to how she knew this, but she continued anyways, regardless. "Phantom Brigade: A.K.A the Spiders. They're an infamous group of criminals that have successfully avoiding the law for years. All of them are renowned for being powerful and merciless killers."

_And…_Fern's eyes narrowed. _A lesser known fact would be that all the original members of the Spiders….lack birth certificates. They're unknown mysteries. They don't have birth records, or families, or friends, or anything really. Like they appeared out of nowhere. _

Her gaze lowered slightly, her bangs shadowing her face.

_But really, they didn't. They just came from the place where they were born. The world's biggest trash dump. A place that is vastly populated and yet known to few. They were born in the place where the outcasts, the extras, and the exiled live in complete poverty…_

Her eyes rose again, now hardened and sharp with ice shards and frigid glaciers.

_Meteor City. _

She crossed her arms tighter against her chest. _Like me, _she thought to herself. _Just like me._

"But…" Gon said, frowning slightly in thought. "Aren't they the ones that killed all of Kurapika's comrades?"

Fern furrowed her brow. "…Kurapika's comrades?" she asked, confused.

Gon blinked. "Oh yeah, you weren't there when he told us. Um…his whole clan was killed and he wants to be a Hunter so he can avenge them…or something like that…." Gon scratched his head. "I think he said something about a group of spiders?"

She stared at Gon uncomprehendingly. "Kurapika had a clan?"

He nodded. Her stomach twisted.

"Why were they killed?" she questioned.

He titled his head in thought. "Um…I think it was something like money. They were murdered for their red eyes—

"_Red _eyes?" What? No. No way, it couldn't be. She was the only one. She was the only one. She was alone, she was the freak, she was nothing but a freak. There was no explanation, she just had red eyes, that was it. That was it.

He nodded, confused.

Dread pulled her heart into the pit of her stomach. "What was his clan called?"

Gon tilted his head to the side and scratched his cheek in thought. "Um…I think they were called…um…"Gon's face lit up. "Oh!" he exclaimed. "I remember!"

She frowned. "What?"

Gon smiled. "The Kuruta Tribe!"

_Ku…ru…ta?_

Her eyes snapped around to latch onto Kurapika.

_Pale blonde hair._

_Light skin. _

_Icy blue eyes. _

How couldn't she have seen it? She was so blind! Why didn't she notice? Fern and Kurapika—they looked so similar! Same hair, the same eyes, the same skin color…. So_ close_. As if they were related.

_Related. _

She jerked backwards. In the first exam, she saw his eyes turn red. _Scarlet _red.

_Is it…Could it be that he—I—we're…._

The proof was there, right in front of her.

At the sight of the Spider tattoo on the prisoner's back, the last _known_ survivor of the Kuruta Clan's eyes turned a striking scarlet.

Scarlet.

Red.

_**Eyes.**_

And then Fern drowned. A flash flood of crimson washing over the world around her swallowed her up. It was a sudden downpour of buckets and buckets of red, red, _more_ red. She was underwater, the noises around her muffled and her body frozen stiff as a statue. She couldn't breathe. A heavy pressure weighed down on her lungs, suffocating her. All around her, no matter where she turned, no matter where she looked, all she could see was blood, blood, everywhere. Everything stained the hideous_, grotesque_ color of blood.

Blood.

_Blood._

Nausea hit her like a wave, crashing and toppling over her, dunking her underneath it and leaving her to struggle and choke and drown. Her head spun, and the world around her blurred. Spinning, spinning, spinning, like a top. She lost sight of where she was, who she was. The world spun and spun and spun until she was so lost, so dizzy, so disoriented that she could no longer tell which way was up, which way was down. Where were her own hands?

The only thing she could see was red.

She wanted it to stop. A scream caught in her throat, but her throat strangled it into silence. She felt herself swaying, but to where, or towards who, or into what was something she did not know. She felt lost, so lost and frightened and disgusted and terrible and shocked and confused and scared and disoriented that she wanted -she wanted—

… She wanted it all to stop.

_Stop_, she screamed in her head.

_**Stop.**_

And it did.

The last thing she saw was Killua's eyes widening, he was saying something, but what she couldn't hear. His hand reached out, but the world was tilting. She reached up to grab it but her fingers wilted at the last moment.

She hit the ground and disappeared inside herself.

_. . . _

"Fern..Fern…wake up!"

"What happened? Is she okay?"

"I don't know…she just kind of fainted.."

"Fern…Fern…Come on…wake up…"

_. . . _

_The first thing she sees is eyes. _

_Scarlet red. Staring out at her from the darkness. _

_At first, she thinks that's all that's there. A pair of scarlet red eyes. But she's wrong. There's a faceless man. The eyes belong to him. But despite that, the only thing the girl can see is his outline. He's black, black, black and the only thing visible is his brightly colored eyes. _

_**Who are you?**_

_But the man is silent. He won't stop_

_Blinking_

Scarlet.

_Staring_

Scarlet

_Gazing_

Scarlet.

_Watching_

Scarlet

_**Stop staring. **_

_**Please. **_

_But the man doesn't seem to hear the girl's pleas. He just keeps staring._

_Not blinking. _

_Like an owl watching its prey. _

_**Who are you? What do you want? **_

_The man draws closer and closer, his eyes growing bigger and bigger as they near her. _

_**Stop, don't come any closer.**_

_But his scarlet red eyes keep growing. _

_**Stay away!**_

_Wider, wider, brighter ,brighter, _

_**Please stay away, please—**_

_Bigger and redder and larger until they're big, big, so big they're all she can see, all she can think of, all she can feel, all she can-_

_**-leave me—**_

_Red eyes. Red eyes. Red eyes. __Red eyes. Scarlet red eyes. Red everywhere. Eyes everywhere. Scarlet everywhere. Eyes. Eyes. So close to her face. So close. Too close. Too big. Too red. Too scarlet. Too blood-like! Too large! Too-_

_**- ALONE! **_

. . .

"—ALONE!"

Fern jolted out of her sleep. She bolted into a sitting position, her eyes wide with alarm. _The man! _Her mind shrieked at her. _Where is he? Where are the red eyes, the scarlet red eyes, the man with his stare—where are they?_

But as her gaze swept the entire room and all she saw was an unfamiliar, but normal room. Beige carpet, a coffee table, a small refrigerator. The couch she laid on.

All in all, it was a pretty regular room.

No eyeballs.

No scarlet red.

No faceless man.

Just a plain, old, regular room.

She leaned over, letting her head drop. Her hands clutched tightly around the blanket thrown across her lap, and her knuckles began to turn white. Her breaths were quick and shallow, gasping for air. Her heart thumped crazily inside her chest, beating so loud and quickly she could hear it pounding in her ears.

_Just a dream, _she assured herself. She closed her mouth and swallowed loudly. _Just a dream. _

"Fern?"

Fern slowly lifted her head to see a pair of worried green-eyes staring down at her. "K-killua…" Sheoffered the boy a small, weak smile. "Hey," she said, trying to keep her voice steady. It failed.

Killua frowned. "Hey…uh…You don't look so good."

"Who said you could call me ugly?" she retorted weakly, but her voice wobbled.

Killua dropped the magazine he was playing with on the floor. His walked over to her. "Are you sick?" he asked.

Fern rolled her eyes. "Are _you_?" Her eyes ran over the rest of the room, and then she tilted her head to the side, confused. "Anyway…where are we? What happened? Where's everyone else?" She couldn't remember walking into this room.

Killua whined, "You don't remember? Anything?"

She shrugged. "Not really."

Killua groaned. "You are so high-maintenance you know? There's always something going on with you, and guess who has to deal with it? Me!"

"Well, sor-ry," Fern huffed. "Now that you're done complaining, can you tell me what happened? Please?"

"Okay, soo, when Kurapika's battle was going on, the man showed his Spider tattoo, and we were talking about it, and then you fainted all of a sudden. After you fainted, Leorio lost his match, also losing us fifty-hours, and then I won mine. So we ended up with three wins and two losses. So we passed, but because we lost fifty-hours during Leorio's match, we have to wait them out in this waiting room they locked us in," Killua explained. He groaned. "He's such an idiot."

Fern took that in for a moment, thinking. "…So someone carried me here?"

Killua's eyes darted elsewhere. "Yeah," he said, seemingly disinterested.

Fern blinked, leaning forward. "Who?"

Killua shrugged. "It doesn't matter," he said vaguely. Was he avoiding the subject?

"Oh, come on," Fern urged, rolling her eyes. "Tell me! There was no way it was you or Gon…Right?" Killua shrugged, so she continued. "So then it must be…Leorio or Kurapika? No…Kurapika would never have let him five meters within a girl after he just perved on another, so…it must have been Kurapika!"

"…Yeah," Killua grumbled. He kicked the floor with his shoe.

"Yes, I am so smart," Fern congratulated herself proudly. She grinned widely, only to pause and sigh when she saw Killua…doing his pout thing. "What's wrong with you now? You're like, always pissed at me about something, I swear," she complained, thoroughly confused by his behavior. "You're worse than a girl!"

"I just don't get it, why are you so happy? You like him? Is that it?" he outburst.

Fern;s eyes widened with surprise. "W-what?" She reeled back, gaping.

Killua's eyes narrowed at her reaction and his voice turned into a sneer. "Yeah, I knew it, girls always are like that. They always go after the nice pretty boys…never the bad ones. "

"Oh my god, no," Fern sighed tiredly. "You're wrong." She curled up in a ball, pulling the blanket tight around her. "I don't even know what you're talking about, but I'm too tired to be annoyed with you. Just know I don't like him. I like…no one."

He shifted awkwardly from foot to foot. There was long silence before he spoke again.

"Really?" Killua asked unsurely. She glanced up at him and he was frowning again. "No one?"

"Pinky promise," Fern assured, smiling softly. She giggled at his face. "You look constipated. Really, I swear, on my life! That if I ever, ever like someone you'll be the first person I'll tell, because otherwise I know you will go all girls-are-awful-swines on me if I don't."

"Che. Will not," Killua muttered. "But deal." He sat down next to her on the sofa and folded his pinky in hers. Then he smirked mischievously. "But if you go back on that, you have to do whatever I want."

"It's a bet now? Ugh, can't I do anything normal with you? Yeah, fine, whatever…" After a heavy sigh, Fern retracted, rubbing her eyes.

They stung slightly, her eyes…changing…color always seemed to irritate them. That thought triggered another that made her stomach twist uncomfortably. _Kurapika had scarlet red eyes. I saw them, _she thought, and the image of the blonde boy's red eyes flashed in her mind, causing her to wince. _Twice._

_Like mine._

_But why? How? _Her brow furrowed. _I don't understand…Kurapika's supposed to be the last of his clan…And for as long as I can remember, I've always been in Meteor City…I couldn't be…I couldn't…but…we look alike and….my eyes….our eyes…_

"Blondie, you look like you're going to fall over," Killua asked uneasily. He looked concerned, his eyes soft and his face twisted. His eyes flickered over to the door. "Maybe I should get Leorio…"

Fern glared at him. "No way."

"You're so stubborn, geez!" Killua reeled back, defensive. "I was just suggesting, why'd you have to yell?"

"Yes, because this is a yell," Fern snorted.

A long silence stretched through the room before Killua spoke again. "Hey…if you ever have something you want to say…you can tell me, you know?" Killua muttered.

Fern blinked. "W-why would I want to tell you anything?" she snapped.

"Because!" Killua sat up, flinging his hands around as he talked. "You've told me things before, right?! Things you don't tell other people. So why can't you tell me this?"

"Tell you what?"

"Why you fainted!" Killua yelled.

"Well sorry, but I really believe it's none. Of. Your. Business," Fern sneered.

Killua's eyes narrowed. "Well if you're not going to tell me, then give me that blanket." He reached out for the red cotton.

"What? No!" Fern exclaimed alarmed. She grabbed the cloth hurriedly, pulling it to her chest protectively. "Never!"

Killua growled. He grabbed the other end of the cloth and pulled. "Give me it…!"

"No!" Fern yelped, pulling back.

"Yes!" Killua grunted, straining with effort. He put his foot on the couch and leaned back, using his weight to pull the blanket towards him.

"Never…." Fern grunted back, gritting her teeth together and throwing her own weight back to counter Killua's.

"….Say never!" Killua finished.

Suddenly Killua gave a heavy yank on the blanket and Fern jerked forward, eyes wide, body thrown. She flew forward and Killua stumbled back. She stumbled and slammed into him, making him trip and and fall onto his back. She fell on top of him, and laid there for a moment, stunned, holding the other end of the blanket in her tiny hands.

"Damn…" Killua groaned beneath her.

"Ow…." Fern whined. Then she smiled. "But I got the blanket!"

"Get off! You're like a walrus! Crushing me!" Killua lifted his head to yell, but didn't shove her off.

"What?" Fern leaned forward and glared, the blanket long forgotten. "If I'm a walrus you're a freaking obese walrus on steroids that's pregnant with nine walrus babies!"

"Oh…already thinking about pregnancy, huh, Blondie?" Killua teased, raising his eyebrows. "I didn't know you wanted babies with me that badly…Am I that irresistible?"

What? Oh, so he was playing that game huh…_Well, news for you, I can play too. _Fern sighed dramatically and swoonex. "Oh Whitey, I'm so glad you understand my feelings so incredibly well! But actually…I already am pregnant. With Gon's child."

Killua's face twisted with disgust. Inside, Fern snickered. _Got you…_

Fern's face was grave, dark and serious. "It's a secret. But…secretly…I'm cheating on Gon. Because I'm actually…in love with…." She took a deep breath, glancing around nervously. "Come closer. I don't want anyone else to hear this."

"With…?" Killua leaned forward.

"Money!" Fern's face split into a devilish smile, eyes half-lidded and mischievous. "I. love. Money."

Killua choked.

Fern burst into laughter, grabbing the blanket and whacking Killua with it. "Oh my god! Your face! Your face was soooo funny! What the hell? Gon's child?" She giggled loudly.

"Stop! What the hell? Why are you hitting me?" Killua asked in disbelief, trying to grab the blanket. "Stop! Blondie! Ow! I'm gonna get you for that!"

"Nooo you aren't! Because I'm getting up!" Without waiting for him to respond, she withdrew her hand, sat up, kicked the blankets off of her and stood, stretching. "Ah…" she sighed in contention as her neck cracked. "That felt good…"

"Getting creaky bones already?" Killua jested from beside her. "Wow, you really are an old lady, aren't you, Blondie?"

Fern paused mid-stretch, her arms still extended above her head and her head still tilted to the side. "I wouldn't be saying that if I were you, Mr. I-was-born-with-gray-hair." She ruffled his hair. _Soft. Like—like bunny hair. The hell? Man hair shouldn't be that soft. It's like… a crime. _

Killua twitched. "It's white!" he insisted, knocking her hands away. "Are you going blind too?"

"You're just in denial," Fern said. Then she sighed, placing her hands on her hips. "Okay, assuming no one spontaneously combusted while I was unconscious, where are the rest of you guys?"

Killua jabbed his thumb towards the wooden door. "Bathroom," he drawled.

"_All_ of them?" she asked skeptically. "At the _same _time?"

Killua nodded.

"Kurapika's in the shower, Gon's trying to do his hair in a different style, Leorio's shaving, and Tompa is um…on the toilet, I think?" Killua answered.

She twitched slightly. "…Does Kurapika even _know _they're in there?"

Killua shrugged. "Prob'ly not."

Silence…

"_AhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!_ WHY ARE YOU IN HERE?"

"A-ah, sorry, we were just—

_BOOM BANG CRASH _

"GET _OUT_!"

The door swung open and Leorio and Tompa flew out, skidding across the floor on their faces, butts in the air and bumps on the top of their heads.

Fern stared, and stared.

And then she snickered. "Well, what'd ya know?" she said, sarcasm dripping from her voice. "I'm psychic."

. . .

Twenty hours later and Fern was upset, bored out of her mind, and wanting to blurt her problems to the world. Okay, maybe not the world. Maybe just to one person who may or may not be mad at her…

"What are you doing?" Gon asked, staring at her strangely. Why was he staring like that? She was being perfectly normal, just crouching behind a couch peeking out at Killua who was half-asleep staring at some fish tank thing.

Okay, so maybe that was a lie. Not the second part. She was really was crouching and stalking Killua. But she was most definitely not normal. She could at least admit that.

Fern sighed. She turned back around and leaned against the back of the couch. "Nothing…" she sighed.

"Nothing?" Killua's voice was suddenly right behind her.

"FRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREAFDASKFMdk f!" Fern shrieked, jumping so high and hit her head on…Killua's chin.

"Agh….geez, Blondie! Why is your head so hard! I would've though cause there's nothing in there your head would be like a balloon…but apparently not," Killua jeered, rubbing his chin.

"Your mom's head is a balloon," Fern grumbled.

"No, but close .It's all covered in toilet pape—sorry, bandages."

"Bandages?" Fern asked incredulously. She peeked up at Killua and made a face. "Please tell me she's not like a mummy or something. FAIL. A mommy that's a mummy."

"I call her that sometimes," Killua admitted. He snorted. "She doesn't get it and just starts shrieking about how her little Killua is getting all affectionate. She's such a freak."

_At least you HAVE a mother,_ Fern couldn't help but think. Then she sighed. "Wait…I have to talk to you."

"You _are_," Killua whined.

"Really? I didn't notice." Fern rolled her eyes. Then she frowned. "No really, seriously. Come on, please?"

He frowned. "Where are we going?"

"To the bathroom, girls always talk in the bathroom, you didn't know that?" Fern asked half-jokingly. "Really though, we're talking in the bathroom, because otherwise everyone will listen in."

She dragged a complaining Killua into the bathroom and shut the door behind her. She took a deep breath, opened her mouth and blurted words a mile a minute.

"Okay, so I don't want to tell someone something because that something may or may not have something to do with something that happened in his or her past and that something may or may not be true but I don't really know and I don't want him or her to think of me differently because of that something." She took a breath and looked down, biting her lip. "That something is…something I kind of…may or may not…be…." She trailed off, looking away.

_Kurapika…Red eyes…Kuruta clan?_

"You're scared?" Killua gaped. "Okay, so the great Fern . Just tell…who or whatever. If they reject you they're not worth it anyway."

"Worth what?" Fern muttered bitterly. She groaned, sunk down to the bathroom floor, and laughed but it wasn't funny. "My friendship? That's worth shit, I hope you realize that. I'm not exactly the best girl in terms of…friend quality."

Killua hopped onto the sink counter, kicking his legs around. "Huh? Why?"

"Well first of all, I'm not nice. I get mad easily. I hate way more things than I love. I'm not girly. I'm not gorrrrrgeous. I lie all the time, I steal all the time, I run around barefoot, I dress like a trash can, I look like a trash can, I talk like a trash can-" She cut off, frowning and rubbing her eyes. "I cannot believe I'm telling you this," Fern grumbled dejectedly. Her cheeks turned pink and she curled her knees up to her chest, wiggling her toes. "But…you're cool for listening."

"Geez, Blondie, if you're not friend quality, what am I?" Killua groaned. He pulled his feet up to the counter and sat cross-legged. "Look, you think you're bad? Listen to this. I kill people. My parents kill people. My brothers kill people. For money. I lie all the time too. I like to see other people in pain. I hate everyone except you, Gon, Kurapika, and maybe Leorio. I don't know what a friend is even supposed to act like, I've never had a friend before, I've never known a girl my age before you—man, I don't even know what normal is supposed to even mean."

Fern stared at Killua. Why was he telling her all this? She had blurted to him everything, yeah, but that was because she needed an outlet and Akulla was off not answering his phone somewhere. He didn't have to tell her anything, but he was…Was he…trusting her?

"What?" Killua huffed defensively. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

Fern cracked a grin. "No. Nothing," she said. She laughed. "Just thinking."

But inside her head was spinning.

_He's…_

_kind of…_

Fern frowned.

…_nice?_

. . .

And outside the bathroom, Leorio was telling Gon and Tompa and Kurapika all about how Fern and Killua were …ahem…doing something…cough cough…interesting…in the bathroom all alone.

Kurapika turned red and tried to hit him. Tompa started snorting and oinking and laughing like the box-nosed pig he was. Gon, of course, knew exactly what Leorio was implying and decided it would be perfect to tease Killua about later when Fern wasn't listening.

Meanwhile Fern and Killua had somehow launched into a yelling match on top of the bathroom counter, throwing toothpaste at each other and trying to strangle each other with floss.

In that moment, everything was absolutely dysfunctionaly perfect.

So it goes.

. . .

End of Chapter 14

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	16. Tell Me a Story

**A/N:**

**YES FANART! I'm so happy! This is from AkainoHotaru, great person, great reviewer ,great...grandma-just kidding, great everything! Link is on my profile, because I can't figure out how to make it appear on this thing... : (**

**Soooo go check that out. : )**

**Not as much Killua and Fern fluff but some Kurapika and Fern development. And don't hate on Akulla! He's just scared to lose Fern to other people. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own HXH. **

**Chapter 15: Tell Me a Story**

Little did Fern know the next fifty hours to come were ones of mind-numbing boredom, excruciatingly slow clocks, and tedious and repetitive time-passing games.

But now, with forty-hours having passed, a severe overdose of I-spy, Tic-tac-toe, go-fish, and enough rounds of rock-paper-scissors to last her a lifetime, she had absolutely nothing left to do.

…Except sleep, like everyone but she and Kurapika were doing. But she didn't want to sleep. Not because she _wasn't_ tired—hell no, she was freaking _dead _tired—but because she didn't want to have to close her eyes and see those scarlet red orbs peering at her again.

Fern sat on the couch, her legs drawn up to her chest and her head resting on her knees. A heavy silence encompassed the entire room, but it wasn't an uncomfortable silence. Rather, it was the kind of silence that only came around in the evening of night, with people around you, and you could hear them breathing, hear them snoring. It was peaceful and calming, made her eyelids droop.

Fern yawned. She watched Kurapika curiously. He was reading quietly by the wall. The paper crinkled as he flipped from page to page. Other than that, he was silent, leaving Fern to her thoughts.

_Red eyes…_her mind echoed. An image of the man's eyes from her nightmare flashed in her mind, and she flinched.

Fern shook her head to rid her mind of the image. She didn't want to think about that anymore. She was tired of it, tired of the mystery behind her eyes turning red whenever she was angry, tired of wondering whether or not Kurapika was related to her, tired of wondering if her having the red eyes and looking like him meant she was part of that near-extinct clan as well. She was tired of it. _All_ of it. She didn't want to think about her past anymore. She thought she'd gotten over lingering on the issue of her background, but apparently, she hadn't. She wanted to ignore it, but she couldn't. She couldn't block out the small voice whispering from the back of her mind- not because it was too loud, but because she felt compelled to listen to it.

_Who are your parents? _It asked._ Where did you come from? Who are you? Why do your eyes turn red? Why do you look so much like Kurapika, and your eyes turn red like his clans' did too? _

_Are you a Kuruta?_

She didn't know.

But did she even want to know? Would it be better to leave her past unknown forever? Was it best to be ignorant? Or to look for answers and learn something she maybe didn't want to know? Would she be happier knowing or not knowing?

She didn't know that either.

A large, exhausted sigh escaped her lips. _Isn't there anything to think about? _Other_ than Kurapika and my parents and red eyes?_

Yes.

The answer to that was yes, there were other things to think about.

Like Akulla. And Bea. And her life back in Meteor City.

Her chest panged. Where were they now? What were they doing? She took a deep breath and sighed, settled back against the couch, hugging a pillow to her chest. Fern rolled over onto her side and found herself staring at Killua. With his eyes closed and his face relaxed, he looked like such an innocent kid.

_But he's really a big, sexist brat._ She frowned a little, resisting the urge to poke his cheek. She ended up poking him anyway. _He looks like Akulla…_

Her thoughts drifted. Akulla… She wondered what he was doing now. That know-it-all, cocky genius, but underneath it all a real, immature kid—though he was, at times, (okay, most of the time) more mature than her. …was he okay? In retrospect, he actually was a lot more rational than her, too, especially when she was having her once-in-a-while….okay, maybe A-LOT-in-a-while crazy, spur-of-the-moment urges to do something that was just _maybe_ not so wise. Even though it was often _him_ protecting _her_, she liked to think of him as her younger brother.

It gave her purpose.

_And Bea_….She thought of the wrinkled woman with a kind, but distracted smile pulling up the corners of her thin lips. Bea was the blind old woman bordering on the age of seventy-two, and yet somehow still alive. She was a doctor, and although she had lost her eyesight long ago to old age and illness, she still managed to stir up some astoundingly powerful medicines. The only problem was those _amazing_ medicines required a whole butt-load of odd ingredients.

That was the main reason for Fern's monthly raids to the city. Often, the only reason she went was to grab Bea the ingredients for her medicines. She really didn't need to buy anything else. She could find food by herself, in the wild.

But she couldn't find bat wings fried in octopus skin and coated in a thick layer of grilled Napaj-style goat cheese in the forest. At least, not anywhere where _she _lived, anyway.

Bea was the best medicine woman in Meteor City. Everyone knew her. Sick people sought her out all the time, and Bea was never one to turn them away. _Even Chrollo Lucifer came once…that guy in his troupe, Nobunaga, caught some cold…_

Troupe…Spiders…Kuruta Clan massacre…Red eyes…Fern groaned. She tugged on a strand of Killua's hair in frustration. "This sucks," she whispered to him. She had a weird feeling he was awake, or at least half-awake. Since when did trained assassins sleep deeply? Never. "You're awake," she told him. Fern swore his mouth twitched up in a smirk, but when she blinked he was still and peaceful as a …rock. "Jerk," she sighed.

_Akulla…Bea…_she thought to herself. Fern drew her legs tighter to her body and let out a small sigh. …_I miss them._

She missed dragging Akulla around in a potato sack when he wouldn't wake up in the morning. She missed standing around the crackling fire in the middle of the night, listening to Bea tell her crazy stories over a burnt stick of fish. She missed ruffling Akulla's hair, teasing laughing at him, and getting into mini-arguments all the time. She missed Bea's mindless chattering, even though it didn't make sense all the time. She missed hanging out with the guy who sat at the bottom of the Junk Hills all day and did funny dances and hummed weird tunes. She missed whacking Akulla's hands away from her cooking when he was hungry and tried to sneak an early snack. She missed trading random gadgets for food with Garuhaji the Collecter. She missed the dirt. She missed the rags. She missed the people. She missed the life. She missed her small, created family. She missed Meteor City. She missed her chores. She even missed the scratchy potato sacks that served as sorry excuses for beds.

She missed everything.

Even the poverty.

_I'm homesick, _she thought to herself miserably. _For a dump. For starvation, for theft, for tents, and for penniless pockets. I can't believe this. I must be crazy. _

She couldn't take it anymore.

So, rising from her position on the couch, Fern tip-toed over to Kurapika. He was still reading, sitting on the floor with a blanket wrapped around him like a cloak. His body was bent over a large book. Fern crouched down in front of him. "Kurapika?" she whispered, careful not to wake the others.

The blonde boy looked up from his book. "Yes?"

She glanced down at the floor, wiggling her toes nervously. _This is going to make me sound _really_ stupid, _her mind sang. _But…_"…Uh…Can you…tell me a story?" she asked hesitantly.

Kurapika blinked and shut his book, pushing it off to the side. "A story?" he asked. "About what?"

She avoided his gaze for a moment. _What if he gets mad…he might not want to talk about it…even worse, if he cries I'll just…ugh…awkward…_

"About you," she began. "About…" _I can't say it. This is so stupid. You're so stupid. No just say it Fern. Say it Fern, suck it up, say it say it say it—but-_

She wasn't sure. What would he say? How would he react?

But …she wanted to know. She _needed_ to know. _What's it like? How's life? When you actually have a family that doesn't dump you in well, a dump as soon as they can._

"Your clan," she said finally. She swallowed. "Tell me a story about the Kuruta clan."

.

.

.

Kurapika didn't know what to say to her at first. Yes? No?

…Maybe?

If he did decide to tell her about his clan, what would he say? What would he tell her about? And _Who_? His friends? His family? But his friends _were_ his family…

He didn't know what to say. He had told others about his clan, but never about his life _in_ it. After his clan was murdered, he just …didn't talk about them anymore.

But….

Did he want to talk about them _now_?

No. Maybe. No. Probably no.

But he couldn't _say_ no. Not when the kid was fidgeting and looking all over the room like she'd rather be under a rock. Whenever she got like this he had to admit was possible the most adorable thing he'd ever seen. She was a nervous puppy—all vulnerable and sensitive, and he felt like if he said the slightest thing wrong, she'd take it the wrong way and hate him for the rest of his life.

He held back a chuckle. He wouldn't put it past her to do just that.

No she had her head turned and she was curling her toes into the carpet and biting her lip and shifting from foot to foot, and staring at Killua, who had sprawled across the couch and took over her spot since she stood up.

Then she looked back at him.

_I…can't say no…to that…face…_

His eyebrow twitched.

_Ugh. _

Kurapika sighed. Then he smiled gently at Fern, patted the ground next to him. He urged her to sit beside him. When she did, he leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes, letting the flood of memories engulf him. But unlike he usually did, he didn't drown in them alone.

He let Fern drown with him.

. . .

He told her about his friends, about his mother, and father, and brother, and two older sisters. He told her about his teachers, about the Politics teacher who taught him the real meaning of politics by bringing tics into the classroom. He told her about the food they ate, the legends they shared, the parties they had around bonfires whenever spring came and the salamanders came out. He told her about how they lived, where they slept, what they wore, how they talked, how they joked. He even told her about the golden retriever he once had as a kid, and how he cried when it died.

He told her everything.

_Everything. _

And it was all true. No lies. No half-truths. No cut-out, abridged parts.

It was just his life. Cut and dry. No additives. No sugars.

Just his life.

Plain, honest, and good.

He felt like he poured his whole heart out to her-to a little girl, several years younger than him, but every bit as wise. He didn't know if she knew exactly how much his memories meant to him, exactly how much it meant for him to tell all of her this, but he knew one thing.

It felt good.

It was like, for a while there, he had forgotten. He had forgotten all the good times he'd had. Forgotten his friends and family and only remembered the revenge and anger that stung and ate at his heart. Almost like he had forgotten all the happiness and warmth and wonderful memories he had experienced—forgotten all except for the murder.

And Fern had made him remember.

So, when all his memories lay out exposed on the ground in front of him, and he ran out of things to say, he sighed and opened his eyes. "I'm sorry," Kurapika apologized, "I didn't mean to unload everything on you…. I hope I didn't bore you too mu—

He stopped, his jaw frozen in place. Because there, lying on her side beside him with her head resting on his leg was Fern, her eyes closed and her breathing soft.

Asleep.

She was asleep.

His eyes softened at the sight of her peaceful, relaxed face, and a quiet chuckle escaped his lips. He smiled softly at her, raising his hand and gently placing it on the top of her soft blonde hair. He wondered briefly when she had fallen asleep, and exactly how much she had heard. Did she hear the part about his dog? Or did she fall asleep at the part about his Politics teacher?

He shook his head, chuckling quietly. Quietly content, he leant back his against the wall, closed his eyes, and allowed sleep to claim him.

. . .

**Another conversation over the phone:**

"Akulla?"

"Hey, Fern. What's up?"

"Do you think it's possible for there to be a whole tribe of people with eyes like mine?"

"…What do you mean?"

"Who are my parents? What if they came from a certain…race…of people with eyes that turned red and that's why mine do too?"

"What are you getting at?"

"…I think…" _Deep breath. _"I think I'm from the Kuruta clan."

"…"

"And I know someone else from the Kuruta clan."

"…And?"

"...We're kind of friends…Maybe."

"..Friends?"

"Yeah."

"Like…friends like…like we are?"

"Huh? N-no…we're not that close or anything…but they're nice…I think…"

"…"

"Akulla?"

"..So did you tell him? Does he know?"

"…No."

"…Why?"

"I couldn't tell him. I'm scared…I don't want…"

"…You're the one who always complains about cowards and wimps and stupid girls."

"I know…but…I know it's stupid but…I can't help it…even if he has red eyes too, I feel like…I feel like t-they're all going to think I'm a f-f-f….."

"Then don't tell him!"

"I shouldn't?"

"No. Don't trust anyone! Don't, Fern. You can only trust Bea and me. We're you're only friends, right? And you don't need anyone else anyway. If you need help in the exam I can always just forge a certificate or bribe someone or something, you don't need to rely on strangers! Besides…you're not gonna see the Kuruta guy or any of those people after the exams, right? You're just gonna come back here and you can forget about them, so they don't matter. They're just…temporary. So you don't have to worry. It's gonna be okay. They don't matter."

"…Yeah. …I guess you're right. Bye. "

"Bye."

_Click. _

. . .

Fern decided not to tell Kurapika.

What would you do if you thought you were the last of your people, the only one left, and then suddenly your new acquaintance turns out to be one too? What would that make you think of her? Would you think she was lying, would you be glad, or would you hate her for making you suffer alone for so long?

She didn't even know for sure it was true.

And what if he asked her why she didn't die at the massacre? What if she had to explain to him the fact that she had been abandoned by her parents at birth in Meteor City? That she had grown up not knowing who her parents where, what her name was, where she came from, or who she was, and she hadn't even known she was Kuruta until she met him? What then?

She couldn't do it.

.

.

.

When the fifty hours were finally up, Fern and the others burst from the waiting room with renewed vigor. They had ten-hours left to reach the bottom. They had to get moving, and get moving _fast_.

The ten hours that followed were pure torture. It was door after door of hallways and paths and staircases loaded with traps and tricks. Fern had never seen so many traps in her whole life—well, it _was _'Trick Tower. ' But really, falling boulders, laser alarm systems, flooding hallways, flying bird droppings, and fart gas?

_Seriously?_

_Someone had a little too fun designing this place. _

Hours passed and the tricks became more and more difficult to avoid triggering. The temptation to collapse on the floor in a pile of sweat and Jell-O grew harder and harder to resist. But Fern kept going, and the others did too. No one was quitting, not even Tompa.

It was when they had nothing more than a mere hour to complete the Third Exam when they arrived in a large, open chamber. Fern stepped into the room and immediately felt cold. Dread settled over her. Two grand, tall metal doors were at the end of the room. The doors made the other ones they'd passed look like dust. _If they're that much bigger than the others, they _must _be important. It's like…the law of design. _Fern thought to herself surely. Her eyes then shifted nervously towards the many wooden weapon boards that covered the chamber's walls. Axes, sabers, katanas, nun-chucks, boxing gloves….She grimaced. _Um…can someone please tell me why this place stocked for both torture _and_ kinky sex? _

It looked like a battling room.

…And if it was, then…well, she had her mittens in her sack for that. But she wouldn't use them unless she absolutely had to. After all, she didn't want the rest of the group to see her using them and ask. It wasn't like she didn't want them to ask, because she didn't trust them—no, it was merely because she wouldn't know what to say to them if they did.

How did one explain the vast possibilities of Nen? How did one even begin to cover the basic concept of it? She didn't know. Akulla had taught it to her years ago, and yet she still wasn't quite clear on all the aspects of Nen. All she knew was that there were five basic types of Nen, and about a million different things you could do with it. That, and the fact that her mittens were Hatsu, her very own secret, specialized weapon that she herself materialized from her Nen.

And thus, her avoidance of using Nen, her mittens, and even fighting in general. She knew somewhere in the near future when the exams got harder, she would probably have to fight, but even then, she hoped to avoid using Hatsu.

"Candidates," a voice boomed from a speaker on the wall. "This is the last division point on the 'Path of Majority Rule'. The grueling majority rule ends here, but you must pick a door here. You have two choices. Choose the right door and all six of you can go, but it is a longer and harder path. Choose the left, and only three of you can go, but it is a shorter and easier path. If you want the longer and harder path, press 'O'. If you want the shorter and easier path, press 'X'. If you choose 'X', the door will open once three people are chained to the wall. Those three will not be able to move for the remaining time." A chuckle came from the loud speaker, and a bead of sweat ran down Fern's cheek, knowing there was a catch.

"Also, the longer path will take at least forty-five hours to finish, no matter how fast you go. If you press 'X', you can get to the goal in approximately three minutes."

_Shit. _

Fern knew, without a doubt, the group was screwed. Thoroughly. The only way to pass was to leave three friends behind. This time, it wasn't just X or O, yes or no. It was more than that, crueler. Your dream or your friends?

"Now," the voice boomed. A bark of laughter blared through the speakers. "Pick 'O' or 'X', using the majority rule!" The loudspeaker crackled loudly, then shut off.

A chasm of silence opened up in the center of the room. No one moved, no one spoke—not even Tompa dared to utter a word. The air was thick, heavy, suffocating her.

Fern didn't know what to do. Though she herself didn't have a watch to vote on, she could influence the rest of them, and well, they_ did_ have watches. _I didn't come this far to fail here. But…I…_She looked around her. _Tompa can eat shit. It would match his face. But Killua, Gon, Kurapika, Leorio….we're…we're not friends, not really, but—to fight them? Hurt them? _

She didn't want to. But even if she wanted to…

_I honestly don't think I could._ With a sigh, Fern released her bag. She'd unconsciously reached inside to grip her mittens, but she let her bare hands drop uselessly to her sides. _I won't do it. _She glared at the loudspeakers. _I won't play your game. _

"I'll say this right now," Leorio stated suddenly, breaking the silence. Fern turned to look at the aspiring doctor. _Not 'X', not 'X', not 'X', not 'X'_.

"I'm picking 'X', and I don't intend to be left behind. I'm going to be one of the three, no matter what I have to do." Leorio walked over to board of weapons on the wall. Fern's hopes went crashing to the ground. "He did a good job preparing," Leorio continued, eyeing the weapons seriously. "He supplied us with a variety of weapons from all ages and countries. He wants us to decide who the three will be by fighting."

_Great, _Fern thought to herself miserably. _Just great. He's going to be a Hunter if it means he has to murder three children, a young teenage boy, and a fat old man. Now as much as I wouldn't care if Tompa fell off the edge of the planet and never came back, I don't really appreciate where this is going. _

"I'm going to press 'O'," Gon announced suddenly. "Since we came all the way here together, I want to finish with all five of us." His black eyes seemed to shine with something skin to determination and hope. "Even if there's only a one in a million chance, I want to bet on that possibility."

_Of course, goody-goody, ever-loyal, puppy dog Gon…_

"Hey, Gon!" Killua interrupted. "We have less than an hour left. We _have_ to pick the shorter way!" He turned and shot a look at the rest of the candidates. "The only real question is how to pick the three that will pass. And I don't intend to quit this game, so if no one is going to stay behind…" His eyes narrowed and hardened. "I'll fight."

_Shit, _Fern swore in her head. _Shit shit shit shit shit. This is _not _looking good right now. _"I don't want to fight," Fern murmured, stepped backwards so she was standing beside Gon and Killua.

Gon nodded along with her but Killua scoffed. "Who said _you _were fighting, Blondie?" What? She looked at him quizzically, but he wasn't looking at her. "Just stand in the corner of something, you'll get in my way."

"Wait!" Tompa suddenly exclaimed. "What if this is a trick? Doesn't the shorter path sound almost too good to you? Three minutes? What if it's, you know, 'too good to be true'?"

"You know, it sounds like the truth when _you_ say it," Leorio commented darkly. He glared at Tompa. "I know what you're thinking. If we pick 'X', you're going to be one of the three that will be left behind." He smirked knowingly. "You want to avoid that, right?"

Tompa gritted his teeth together in frustration. "Then who's going to be the other ones?" he asked. "It's true that if we fight, I'll probably be left behind. But who're the other ones? Gon? Kurapika? Killua? Leaf or Fern or Twig or whatever the hell your name is?"

Fern swallowed, glancing nervously from Leorio to Tompa. _He has a point…_ In front of her, Killua tensed. She blinked. Wait, when did he get in front of her? And—oh for dlkfnlsakheflkja! _I'm going to rip my hair out!_

Fern grabbed his hand. Killua jumped, startled, and turned around, face dismayed. "Whaaat?" he moaned, looking down at their joined hands and trying to shake hers off. "Let go a meee."

"Put your claws away, Mr. Fierce Kitty," Fern hissed, squeezing his fingers tightly. "I don't want to fight. And I don't want _you_ to fight either. Okay?"

Killua had on one of his No-way-you-crazy-bat looks. His eyes met hers, and for a while, they stared at each other, facing off. "…Tch." He turned, but she felt (to her relief) the sharp nails retracting into his hands. She breathed a sigh and relaxed slightly.

Tompa's sneer widened as he turned to face Leorio. "Hm…Gon and Kurapika are your friends, and you met them before the exam, so does that mean Killua and Fern will be the ones left behind?" He chuckled.

Fern felt her hand lowering to her bag, reaching unconsciously for her mittens. Doubt wracked through her. _Leorio wouldn't hurt me…right? But he really wants to be a doctor, it's his dream…what if he does? Tompa would… What about Kurapika? No he wouldn't—would he? And Killua? He's an assassin—but no. He-he wouldn't. Gon would never. But…_

Tompa continued on, almost laughing at Leorio. "But can you really do that? After that, he's the Zaoldyeck family heir, and she's just an innocent little—"

"Oi," Killua interrupted Tompa. Fern glanced at him, frowning. He was smirking. "Shut up. Or I'll kill you. You know you'll be left behind, but it's really up to us how you get left behind…" He glanced at the weapon's rack. "Alive or dead, or wishing you were dead…" Killua grinned mischievously. "You know, I really don't have anything against stabbing old men with knives."

Tompa gulped. He started to laugh uneasily. "You're crazy… Bluffing…"

Her hands had started to tremble. _This is crazy._ Fern pulled out her mittens and yanked them onto her hands, letting the big cloth engulf her tiny hands. Instantly, a wave of comfort enveloped her. She rubbed her mittens together and her fingers tingled with warmth.

"Guys, stop!" Gon shouted. "Come on, I really want to pass this with everyone, including Tompa-san! We can't just leave out one person!"

"You're still saying that?" Killua gaped skeptically. "What other choice do we have?

"W-ell," Fern began, rolling her eyes. "What Gon's _trying _to say, is that if everyone would just _stop_ fighting, _shut up_, and _listen_, maybe we could think about that with everyone?"

"Kurapika!" Leorio yelled impatiently, ignoring Fern's words. "What about you?"

"Like Gon and Fern said, there might be another way," Kurapika replied calmly. "However, this is the path of the majority rules. Once it's decided, we have to follow the rules. Of course, that means I'm going to follow whatever the decision is. If I have to fight, I will."

Fern's hand curled in her mittens nervously.

"Right now, Leorio, Tompa, and Killua all choose 'X'. Gon and I choose 'O'," Kurapika continued. "That's three 'X's, and two 'O's. However, we still have one more person to take into account. Whether we fight for the shorter path, or go through the longer path…" Kurapika's eyes flickered towards Fern. "…it all depends on what Fern thinks is right."

Her eyes widened.

"But she doesn't even have a watch of her own!" Leorio yelled in protest. "She doesn't count!"

Fern's eyes narrowed. "I don't count?" she repeated, her eyes narrowing dangerously. "I think I should have a fair amount of say in my own matters, don't you think? And besides, if anyone remembers correctly, I was the first to arrive, and the only reason I don't have one of my own is because I didn't _want _one." She crossed her arms against her chest stubbornly. "I could have easily taken one and left one of you without one."

"_Ch_," Leorio spat, glaring at the ground. "Fine."

"So then," Kurapika said, turning his gaze back to Fern. "What's your choice?"

She looked down." I choose…" Feeling the eyes boring into her head, Fern's throat suddenly tightened and her hands became clammy with sweat. Her heart clenched tightly in her chest. Her gaze lowered to the ground. _O. O. Choose O. _

_But-_

_I…I really wanted that license. I really wanted to be able to buy Akulla that fancy computer he always wanted. I really wanted to be able to get Bea all those medial documents, instruments, and ingredients that I know she's been wanting for a while. I freaking wanted you guys to be happy. But…_

She swallowed.

_Fuck money. Fuck hotels. Fuck being rich and eating desserts and lounging around the rest of my freaking life. Fuck the damn Hunter Exam, fuck the License, fuck, fuck, fuck dreams and all that wishy-washy crap._

_Like hell I'm going to ditch my beliefs. _

_Sorry Bea. Sorry, Akulla. Looks like you're gonna have to wait a little longer. _

_I'm sorry._

_But I won't hurt my friends. _

"I choose 'O'."

. . .

End of Chapter

Soooo what do you think? You know what to review. You know you want to. AND you want to draw me fanart, yeah, uh-huh, totally...

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	17. Brick Walls Crumble Easily

**A/N: Hello people! I don't know why but this chapter was really hard to write! So be thankful, you scallywaggermaggertaggerthin gs...**

**Oh MY GOD, I'm over 200 reviews now! Yes yes yes yes I LOVE YOU! So keep reviewing or you will break my heart and I will cry and cause tsunamis worldwide that will devastate the algae population...totally. **

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**Disclaimer: I do not HXH. **

**Chapter 16: Brick Walls Crumble Easily**

"_I choose 'O'."_

"Three X's and three O's? It's a tie. So then, there's no other choice," Tompa said, smirking. "I'm not going down without a fight!" He grabbed an axe off the wall and barreled towards Fern. "I'm not failing after coming this far!" He raised his arm and swung, right at her. "Even if I have to kill every single one of you!"

_Bam!_

Fern blinked. She was far away from the blade, having leapt aside quickly of her own accord. Stone exploded everywhere, little bits flying through the air. She closed her eyes, waiting for the sharp pain of stones cutting her skin, but there was nothing.

She looked up and Killua was there, back to her, facing Tompa. His hand was gripping Tompa by the neck.

_What…?_

Killua smiled, but it was so cold it sent a shiver down her back. "You should drop that axe…it isn't a toy," he said, almost mockingly.

_Clang._ The axe slid out of Tompa's hand onto the ground.

Killua grinned mischievously, like a cat playing with its prey. He tightened his hand around Tompa's neck. "Attacking Blondie, when really you should be on your knees thanking her? She's stupid, but you're even stupider… Gee…you know," Killua drawled, a thoughtful look passing over his face. It was so innocent it was frightening. "If it wasn't for her… you would have been dead a long time ago…maybe even in the first exam," he said, as though he were talking about the weather. Tompa's eyes widened with fear, but Killua just laughed light-heartedly. "Oh, you do remember that, right? You were coming back from the Delusional Sap tree and me and Blondie ran into you…" Suddenly his eyes darkened. "I was going to kill you then and there, you know that right?"

Tompa swallowed.

_Then why didn't you?_ Fern couldn't help but wonder.

"But then I didn't…" Killua continued. "Cause Blondie would have freaked."

"I would not have!" Fern defended, irritating, but Killua ignored her.

"Boy," Killua sighed. "But now it's different. I don't like you, you know, I don't like you at all. You just get worse and worse and worse every second. You're trash."

"Who are you to talk?" Tompa sneered out breathily. Killua's hands tightened. "You're an assassin. You kill people for money. You're just as much of trash as I am! You monster, you little brat…I bet if you killed me none of your friends would like you."

"We've already seen him kill once," Kurapika argued, frowning. He stepped forward, seeming to realize if no one interjected, Tompa really would be lying on the ground drowning in his own guts. "Why would we hate him now?"

Tompa laughed. "Idiots, maybe all of you have already seen it. Maybe you don't care. But one person hasn't… " His eyes locked on Fern, sitting there on the ground. "Her."

Killua paused. Fern's eyes widened, and Killua stiffened. Then his hand tightened. He said something under his breath to Tompa, and it must have been a threat because Tompa's face turned stark white. The claws started to grow from Killua's fingers, and he was gripping Tompa so hard his knuckles were turning white.

Fern's body turned cold. He was really going to kill Tompa.

"Stop, Killua," Fern yelled. "He's not worth it. Come on, he can't even swing an axe right, the only one who's fooled by his lies is Leorio. He's not even a threat, put him down. Stop wasting your time."

Killua turned to her, whining like a child whose toy was being taken away. "But he's annoying…!"

"So are you!" Fern protested.

"But…"

"See?" Tompa shrieked as soon as Killua wasn't gripping him as tightly anymore. His face was a little red now and he laughed. "She's afraid of you! She doesn't want to see you kill! If you kill me, she'll hate you! She'll be so scared of you…you'll make her cry and scream!" He laughed harder. "You'll even be in her dreams! As a nightmare, haunting her forever!"

In a blink, Fern was in front of Tompa. She smiled at Killua. "Hold him still, please."

Killua watched her curiously, but did.

_Slam!_

"Ougggggggggh!" Tompa groaned in pain

Fern had kicked Tompa in the balls. She lowered her leg back to the ground and sighed dismissively. "Don't talk to my friends that way," she said lowly, her voice dangerous and her face dark. "If you want to stay alive, don't. say. A thing. Or I will kill you, personally, slow and long and making sure you will never, ever think of reproducing again. Understood?"

Tompa could only groan, but managed to nod.

Fern smiled innocently. "Good!"

"…Whatever," Killua muttered stubbornly.

She turned to Killua then and frowned at him. "And you! What was that all about? You got so worked up over that…you honestly think I'm low enough to dump a friend just 'cause he's killed before?" Fern felt a pang in her chest when Killua didn't say anything. _For that matter Akulla's probably killed before…a lot even…hell, almost all the Meteor City hobos have killed. _She clenched her hands into fists. "Oh my god! Don't you know? You're supposed to trust your friends not to do that kind of stuff!"

"I already told you," Killua grumbled bitterly, shuffling uncomfortably. "I didn't have any friends before you and Gon."

"Well now you do!" Fern said, waving her hands around like crazy. "So don't ever, eeeeeeever think that again!" She took a deep breath, puffing her cheeks out and frowning at him. "Okay?"

"…Okay," Killua said finally, stunned.

There was small moment of silence.

Killua broke it. "Hey, wait…."

Fern tilted her head to the side. "what?"

"Didn't I tell you to stand in the corner?" Killua yelled, personality shifting back to the annoying, whiny boy she was used to. He made a face at her, shoving his hands in his pockets, annoyed.

Fern blinked, surprised at the sudden change. "…Huh?"

Killua's cheeks were turning pink, but he seemed to be ignoring that. "That's why I said you'd just get in the way!" he groaned towards the ceiling. "Girls are so stupid! They never listen!"

_Stupid…trying to change the subject…._

"Excuse me?" Fern gaped. "I moved out of the way on my own! Even if you didn't decide to go all I'm-a-dark-knight on me, I wouldn't have even gotten hurt! I can fight own battles, for god's sake!" She slapped him on the arm. "Stop worrying about me!"

"I wasn't worried!" Killua defended.

"Oh, right," Fern said sarcastically. "I totally believe you. Because guys just like, act all mean but protective and stuff, because they don't care. Riiiight." She snorted. "It's okay, geez." She hid a grin. "I'm used to it. Guys worry about me all the time. Because they like me that much."

"They do not!" Killua yelled, eyes wide.

Fern started to snicker. "I was just kidding, I scare all the guys away with my apparently "bitchy" attitude," she said, rolling her eyes. "God, why so stunned? Did you actually think I was serious?"

He did, obviously. Not because he was stupid, but because she actually a pretty good liar. It was fun messing with him, he got so…worked up!

Tompa started to laugh, interrupting them. "Argue as long as you like, it just makes everyone else want to switch their vote to X." Apparently he had recovered…a little too quickly.

Killua looked about ready to kick him in the balls again, but Fern grabbed the back of his sweatshirt to hold him back. "…Let me go," he groaned, pouting at her. She ignored him.

"Assuming—according to some box-nose over here- my vote doesn't count because I don't have a watch…we have a tie of votes right now," Fern said. She looked over and Gon seemed to catch her eye. He nodded at her and then glanced at the weapon's board, and then at the brick ground. She didn't know exactly what he was thinking, but she got the gist of it. But she also knew no one would listen, and that was…a problem. "Hey, Tompa."

He wasn't listening, just sneering at Leorio.

"Don't even bother with him," Killua sneered. He ripped out of her grasp and turned to glare Tompa's back. "He isn't even worth it."

"Box-nose!" Fern called. The man turned, looking annoyed, and she just smirked. "Listen, let's make a deal. And don't think you have a choice in this, you will accept my terms," she said, cutting him off before he could argue. "We break the tie and get three Os, and we go the long path without any more pissing from you."

He was reluctant, but he grunted. "Fine."

"Change your vote, Killua!" Fern urged, reaching for his hand.

Killua stared at her with wide eyes, surprised. "Wha…"

She curled her fingers around his hand. "Please."

His face darkened, and his eyes lowered. "…I don't want to."

"Why?"

He snorted, raising his eyes. "Don't you get it? This is just game to me. I don't care anyone else. You can all pick O if you want, but I'm picking X. I just want to win. That's it."

Fern let go of his hand. She looked at the ground, feeling a strange hurt sting in her chest. "…Oh." _Just…a game? _Her fingers began to tremble.

Killua's hand reached for hers, but she retracted her hand to grip her dress. "B-but…" He seemed hesitant, desperate, almost. "I-I didn't mean—you…you and Gon…you're not…just—I-"

"Maybe…" she began quietly.

Killua quieted. He let his hand drop back down to his side and watched her.

"Maybe this is just a game to you, and it's all about winning," Fern said, her fingers tightening around her dress. "But what are you going to win if you win alone? I don't know…" Her voice wobbled and she found herself staring at the ground. "M-maybe it's not like that for you…but I'd rather… no matter what…" She swallowed and looked up, meeting his eyes. "I'd rather lose together than win alone. Wouldn't you?"

Killua raised his eyes, and for a moment Fern saw vulnerability. He was avoiding her eyes, a frown on his face. "…" He wasn't saying anything, a look of confusion and perhaps even frustration twisting his face.

"So what are the votes then?" Tompa prompted, sneering. "I'm all for X."

"X," Leorio said quietly.

Kurapika frowned. "O."

Gon shook his head. " Definitely O!"

"O," Fern said, still staring at the ground.

"Three O's, Two X's, but we still have one more…" Tompa snickered. "What does the assassin want?"

Fern stiffened. She felt her throat was getting tight, a feeling of heavy anxiety pushing around in her gut. She felt sick, terrible. All cold but hot, shivers down her spine. Killua's words kept repeating over and over in her head and the more she heard them the more she began to believe them, and then more she just wanting her head to shut up. It's not a game to him, it's not a game to him, it's not, it's not, we're not just disposable game pieces to him…right?

Right?

"…O."

Three Os, two X's.

Killua had voted O.

Fern's face broke out into a smile. She threw her arms around him, sudden delight making her bounce with excitement. "Yes, yes, yes! Oh my gosh, Killua, you are the best-est frenemy ever, "

"…W-w-whatever," Killua stuttered, suddenly finding his shoes very interesting. He fidgeted uncomfortably, cheeks flushing red.

"Look, look Gon, he's blushing!"

He pushed her away, but she only laughed. He scoffed. "Get off me!"

"Awww…Your face is still re-"

Fern's eyes widened as Killua suddenly laughed.

"What are you talking about?" he complained loudly. He pulled her hair, making her yelp and stumble backwards until she hit his chest. Killua smirked teasingly at the red on her cheeks, which just make her face heat even more. _What is he doing? Oh my god…he's so close…_ "You owe me."

_Oh…uh…choosing O actually was really weird of him. _She paused, blinking curiously up at Killua's smirking face. _I guess I do owe him…._

"Okay," she agreed easily. "I'll do anything." She smiled.

Killua gaped. "What?"

"No, really! Anything, I mean it! Geez, I'm being serious, you don't have to mock me!" Fern huffed, frowning. She squeezed his cheeks, making him squirm. "Anything, I'll do anything you ask, I pinky swear to god!"

Killua stared at her, as if contemplating. "Any…thing?" he repeated, in thought.

"No, I just said that for no reason." Fern stared at him, confused. "Of course, yeah!"

Suddenly his face started to heat up, starting with his ears and then his cheek, and then he slapped Fern's hands away from his cheeks and covered his mouth with his hand, looking more flustered and embarrassed than Fern had ever seen him. "D-don't just say that to anyone!" Killua blurted.

"What?" Fern asked, blinking.

"Y-y-you…. What if they take advantage of you!" Killua yelled. "They could ask you to do…" His face was reddening again. "A-anything…."

….Oh.

Oh.

"Wait. Why were you thinking of that?" Fern asked suspiciously.

"W-well, because you're an idiot! Someone has to think about what you say!" Killua defended himself. "Besides, anyone would've thought of that!"

"Really?" Gon asked suddenly, popping out of nowhere. He smiled… "I don't think anyone would have…" He began to smirk… "Just someone with a crus—"

"Anyway!" Killua interjected, elbowing Gon in the gut. Gon made a face and Fern started to laugh, while Killua just scoffed and kicked the ground. "This is so stupid…"

"Guys…this is not the time to be foolish around…" Kurapika muttered.

"It's okay," Gon said. "I have an idea." All eyes turned to the boy.

"I've figured out how the six of us can all pass together," he continued. Gon's arms dropped back down to his sides. "If you want to pass…believe me." His voice rang strong. "It's going to be okay."

. . .

The screen blipped loudly, before the board lit up and red numbers flashed across the screen.

X- 0

O-5

The large metal door marked 'O' slowly slid open to reveal a dark, narrow corridor bordered by walls of strong, sturdy bricks and a ceiling and floor of the same material.

"We only have forty minutes left!" Tompa yelled. He whipped around and stared at Gon forcefully. "Tell us the plan now, and it better work, or else."

Fern's eyes were pinned on Gon, watching him with wide, curious eyes. The boy himself turned and began walking backwards into the chamber until he was at the point where Tompa had dropped his axe onto the floor. And then, bending his knees and picking up the heavy weapon, he turned to face the group with a grin on his face.

"Use this," he said, holding up the axe for the group to see.

"Huh?" Leorio gaped. "What're you gonna use _that _for?"

"Breaking bricks with axes…" Fern mumbled. She smiled. "Pretty smart, right?"

Gon grinned in response. "I thought of it when I saw Tompa's axe hit the ground. I thought, well if his axe can break the floor, why can't it break the walls, too?" Gon swung the axe into the wall. The silver blade slammed heavily into the strong brick.

She quirked an eyebrow. "Hold on, is this even legal?"

"Who cares?" Killua asked nonchalantly.

"I think it's fair." Kurapika smiled. "If there isn't a way, make one."

Fern looked at her mittens_. You know…I could just burn a hole through the wall…but that would be weird._ She sighed and leant against the wall, her hands pressed discreetly against the brick. "Well, I guess it's our only choice," she said, feeling her mittens heat more and more as she activated her Nen.

Killua tensed suddenly. His head whipped around and he stared at her. "What are you doing?" he demanded.

_He can sense it?_ She raised an eyebrow. "Um, talking, breathing, living? What do you think I'm doing?" she sneered. A quiet sizzle from behind her told her the brick was weakened from the heat pressure.

She stood up abruptly. "I'm borrowing this," she said, grabbing Tompa's axe out of his hand. She faced the heated wall, raising it above her shoulders. Nen flooded her arms and pumped into her muscles. She swung.

_CRACK!_

A hugeportion of the wall crumbled and fell out, leaving a gaping hole in the center.

Killua's eyes widened. "What the…"

She giggled innocently. "Whoopsies!"

_Take that, Biotches!_

Leorio's jaw dropped. "Holy… crap," he breathed, almost speechless.

Fern dropped the axe on the ground and climbed through the wall, landing smoothly on the other side. She smirked smugly._ Nen kicks ass._ "Coming?" she asked, gesturing towards the hole.

.

.

.

End of Chapter 16

Soooo what do you think? Was it awkward? What does Killua think of Fern? Do you like the fluff? Does anyone have any suggestions? Want to see anything? Any ideas for fluff with Fern and Kurapika? Or Killua?

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	18. The Survival Game

**A/N: Hello! Everyone where I live is all very nervous because we are preparing for a hurricane! So if I don't update for a while it is probably because we don't have power or something. **

**I got more awesome fanart so go check that out on my profile. There are links. : )**

**Disclaimer: I don't own HXH**

**Chapter 17: The Survival Game**

After the third exam, the examiner, Lippo, loaded all the candidates onto a boat. A day later, it arrived at a small, remote island lush with forest life—the arena for the next exam.

The fourth exam was a lot harder than Fern wanted it to be. The examiner had all of them draw numbers from a box to determine their targets. Apparently, she had to steal other candidates' number plates, and protect her own at the same time. To pass, she needed six points. Her plate was worth three, her target's plate was also worth three, and anyone else was worth one. She had one week to hunt or be hunted.

Fern couldn't help smirking.

Survival was her forte. Unlike the other exams, this exam played right into her ballpark. This was going to fun—she could already feel it.

. . .

She was running, through the grass, through the brush, the trees, her hair whipping wildly behind her. An eager grin pulled the corners of her lips up. She made not a sound as she moved—silent, and stealthy, and completely and unbelievably _deadly_.

This wasn't Fern the bitch, or Fern the girl. This was Fern the hunter, emerging to play.

She slowed her run to dash quickly behind the trunk of a tree. Then, leaning over slightly, she peered out from behind the wall of solid, brown bark to stare at the figure passing by.

It was a man, probably around thirty-or so years old, with a big, round nose, red cheeks, and a narrow, pointy chin. The man didn't have the right number plate Fern needed, but he looked like an easy target, and she wasn't one to pass up a good chance to hunt. She pulled on her mittens and waited.

One more step…

The man didn't even have time to scream. Her burning hands covered his mouth, silencing him. She shook off a mitten and pressed the pressure point on the back of his neck. Instantly, the man fell limp. She dropped him on the ground, watching his eyes roll back into his head, unconscious.

Fern waited for a moment, staring at the man on the ground with narrowed eyes. He wouldn't die—he was merely unconscious. She walked to his body, flipped him over, and took his pin from his pocket. Next to his pin in his pocket was a piece of paper. Fern unraveled it and snorted immediately. It was the number he had drawn from the lots: his target's number.

**103**

_My number, _she realized in half-disbelief._ I was his target? How ironic,_ she thought to herself, _that the prey would pillage the predator. _

She dropped the paper and crushed it beneath her feet. "This is mine now," she said, plunking his plate (number 120) into her sack. "Thank you for your cooperation. And better luck next year," she sang with a malicious smirk.

_. . . _

Fern spent a few hours scoping out an area with a river and a nice tree trunk with a large hole in it where she could take shelter and sleep. A thick bush of shrubbery shielded the entrance from the outsiders' view. Plus, right next to the tree there was a bush producing edible berries.

The second half of the day, she searched for her target. Number 198-Imori, the youngest one of the Amori brothers.

She knew who he was, and what he looked like, and who he worked with—and now all she had to do was find him and take his plate.

It didn't take Fern very long to find his brothers. The Amori brothers were like, elephants or something. They left a trail of crushed leaves everywhere they went. Their camp was in plain sight, and they made a camp fire, sending smoke into the air. What the hell? Either it was a trap, or they were just really, _really _stupid.

Probably the latter.

But the problem was, Imori—the one she wanted—wasn't there. She waited for him to come back, watched. But he never came.

That night, Fern returned to her home in the tree trunk exhausted and annoyed.

Where the hell _was_ that guy?

. . .

Fern's plan for the third day was to get up, go back to the Amori brothers 'camp, and pray to the gods that Imori would be there.

But, as it turned out…

HE STILL WASN'T THERE.

Even though Imori still wasn't there, Fern followed around his other two brothers in hopes they would eventually regroup. _If he's dead, I'll kill him, _Fern vowed angrily. _And that matter, who the hell named these guys? Amori? Imori? Umori? What the freak? That's like if I had two sisters named Mern and Kern. Yeah, no._

She was jumping from branch to branch again, like a monkey, only without the hairiness and bananas, and with a lot more silence and grace. Suddenly, the brothers topped. Narrowing her eyes, Fern leapt to the ground and ducked behind a tree.

"You dumbass!" she heard Umori yell. "You can't even beat a little kid on your own?"

"N-no, that's not it…" Imori said.

_Ah-ha!_ She bit back an eager grin. _ Found you…._

"Then what was it?" Amori growled.

"I didn't want to hurt the kid!" Imori defended in a panic. "I was planning on taking it from him quietly, while he was asleep." He frowned. "But he never did fall asleep, so…"

_A kid that never fall asleeps? Haha, sounds like whitey…wait. _Fern grimaced. _Shit, what if Imori's target is Killua?_

"But I'll finish him off now, geez," Imori said. She watched him walk, following him until he arrived in a small clearing.

"Yo kid," she heard him continue. "Gimme your plate. You won't have to get hurt if you just give it to me."

"Stuuupid," a familiar voice drawled.

_Killua?! _Fern slapped her forehead. _Why is it always him? He's like…everywhere. Can't. Get. Away. From HIM! _She sighed. _Well at least he'll beat Imori up for me. I won't have to do a thing._

Killua would beat the Amori brothers for her, and afterwards, she'd just drop by and take Imori's plate. Then, she'd have all six of her points.

She just had to wait for Killua to kick butt.

She waited.

And waited.

It was so boring. Killua liked to play with his opponents, tease them and taunt them for a long while before thoroughly pwning them. Minutes ticked by…

She was hiding behind a bush, dozing off every few seconds and just barely managing to keep her eyelids open. Fern slapped herself on the cheek. _Wake. UP! _

A few seconds later she was nodded back off into sleep.

"Thank you," she heard Killua's voice saying in the background.

_Stay awake, stay awake, stay awake…_she chanted in her head but her eyes kept drooping lower and lower and harder and harder to keep open._ Stay awake, stay awake—But I'm so tired—no, stay awake, stay awake, Stay awa…_her head fell forward and her eyes slipped closed. _…ZzzzzzZzz_

Killua's voice continued to play in the background of her thoughts. "Well, now that I have this one, 197 and 198 are…"

_198? _She thought to herself drowsily. She knew the number, she knew it was important, but she just couldn't remember why…

_Doesn't that have something to do with six points and plates and passing the exam or somethi-_

Her head snapped up and her eyes popped open. "Oh shit."

Jumping out from behind the bushes, she burst into the scene, exclaiming, "No! Wait!"

"There!" Killua smirked mischievously as he sent one of the plates flying through the sky and disappearing as a black dot in the blue background. He turned in the opposite direction with the second plate in his hand. "And the other one is-

"_Don't_—

"Over there!"

"—do…that….." she trailed off. Slowly, her eyes widened to the size of golf balls.

Killua turned and blinked in surprise when he saw Fern standing there, shocked out of her mind. "Blondie?" He raised an eyebrow. "When'd you get here? Are you stalking me?"

"A-a-ah…" she stuttered, still staring up at the sky in shock.

He walked over to Fern, frowning. He poked her in the side with his skateboard. "Hello? Blondie? You there?"

The tiny push from his skateboard seemed to knock her off balance, and she wilted like a weeping willow tree, swaying and crumbling to the ground. A depressed aura seemed to envelope the air around her. "_Noooooo_," she moaned hopelessly. "My plate…."

Killua nudged her with his foot. "You dead?" he questioned. He blinked in surprise when Fern jumped to her feet, a dark, murderous air surrounding her.

"You…." Fern muttered, smiling sweetly. "I'm going to _murder_ you."

Killua snickered. "Whoa, Blondie, maybe you should go get some anger management or something, cause—

"God damn it, no!" Fern exploded. She waved her arms in the air frantically, yelling, "Therapists are rapists and all they do is try to tell you how to feel, like they even know what you're going through, and then they try to take your money too, which is worse than stealing because they actually make you think they're helping you, but really they're brainwashing you with words and drugs and the next step is the asylum and then your nuts and crazy and bolts and—oh, who the hell cares!" she exclaimed, ending her rant and turning back to glaring at Killua. "I'm going to murder you, anger management issues or not!"

"Geez," Killua complained. He stuck his finger in his ear. "No need to yell. You're blowing out my ear drums."

"You're deaf anyway! Didn't you hear me telling you specifically not. To throw. The plate. Away?"

"No," Killua drawled, looking oddly put-off. "Why're you so angry anyways?" he grumbled.

"_Why am I so angry_?" she repeated, her voice taking on a shrill, high-pitch at the end. "Why do you _think _I'm so angry? Oh my gosh, I have noooo freaking idea! I mean, you totally didn't just _throw_ _away _the plate I worked so hard to get for three whole freaking days like it was just some disposable Frisbee you found a rat chewing on in the sewer!" She grabbed the sides of her head with her hands and groaned loudly in frustration. "Thanks sooo much, jerk! Now I'll never pass the exam!"

Killua stuck his hands in the pockets of his shorts and shrugged. "So? Just get three more plates. It's not that big of a deal."

"But I had a plan!" Fern cried. "It was a good plan! A perfect plan! And then—and then you just like came by and messed it all up!"

"How is this my fault?" Killua complained. "How was I supposed to know that was your target's plate when you didn't even tell me?"

"I don't know, but you didn't have to throw it away!" Fern protested. She crossed her arms against her chest and shot him a dirty look. "It's _your_ fault that I lost my target's plate, and now _you_," she paused to thrust her index finger in his face, "are going to make up for that." She smiled. "Starting from now on, you will help me get two other plates to make for the one you threw away."

"What?! I never agreed to that—

Fern rolled her eyes. "Stuuuupid," she drawled, copying his signature insult. A devilish smirk curled up the corners of her lips. "You don't have a choice. You're going to help me get my plates _or else_."

"Or else what? What're you gonna do? Cry again?" Killua taunted, smirking. "Crybaby blondie, always complain an—

"I'll tell Gon you were bullying me again."

_Silence…_

"Stupid, annoying, bossy girls," Killua muttered. "Always have to have their way."

Fern twitched. "Did you say something?"

"Fine, I said fine, I'll do it," he groaned in defeat. Shoving his hands in his pocket, he looked away with an irritated grimace. _Geez_."

Fern grinned triumphantly. "That's what I thought." She grabbed his arm tugged him along behind her. "C'mon! We're going on an adventure!"

For a second she swore she saw him blush.

.

.

.

End of Chapter 17.

Review please! Um..questions... favorite part? Anyone like the dark Fern moment? Want to see something happen in the future?

Random question! How do you write a diary novel? I need help...


	19. Crazy

**Author's Note: Ugh, sorry guys, I kind of dropped off the planet for a while there...but I am back! Hopefully...This is only a short chapter, but the next one is longer...I think. Well nothing really happens in this chapter, sorry about that. Lack of updates is due to life...too much homework, stupid hurricanes cutting off my electricity, yeah...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own HXH, only Fern. **

**And thanks for all the fanart guys! You guys are so supportive. I swear if you guys weren't so awesome with all the reviews and fanart, I would have never gotten this far with this fanfiction...I fully intend to go all the way to the end, so stick with me! XD **

**. . .**

**Chapter 18: Crazy**

_Red eyes. _

Fern woke in the middle of the night with a start. She was breathing heavily and her heart was pounding in her chest. Her mouth was dry and a cold sweat covered her skin.

_The red. _

Fern pushed the images as far back in her mind as she could before looking around, taking in the familiar wet bark. Dirt scrunched beneath her fingernails. She suddenly remembered bringing Killua back to her small camp in the tree trunk hole and falling sleep. That's right—she'd showed him where it was, turned to collect some berries, and when she turned back around, two number plates collided with her forehead. Jerk-face Killua had thrown them at her. The hell?

Apparently, he'd gotten them while she was "being useless". But by then it was dark out, so he said he'd keep watch while she slept. And so she'd gone to sleep and…

_Another nightmare, _she thought to herself with a sigh. She closed her eyes and swallowed loudly. _Just another nightmare. _

She shivered suddenly. _It's cold._ Another shudder ripped through her, and she curled up into a ball with her arms wrapped tightly around her legs. _Really cold. _

"Blondie?" Killua's voice called from the entrance of the hole. "Why're you awake?"

Fern glanced over at the boy's figure, dark and shadowed by the darkness of the night. She crawled out of the tree trunk, letting the dim moonlight wash over her. She plopped down to Killua, who was leaning against the tree. "Couldn't sleep," she murmured shortly, picking at the grass.

Killua ogled down at her skeptically. "What, you scared of bed bugs or something?"

She shook her head, for once not snapping back. Instead she sighed, eyes flickering up to stare at Killua. "…Sit down. Like, next to me. Now." Fern tugged on the bottom of his shorts. He looked down at her, and she blushed lightly. "Oh, come on, I'm cold, your cold, why not?" Embarrassment flushed through her. "A-and if you don't, then I won't be able to sleep, and then I'm be really cranky tomorrow and bite your head off or something and then you'll-"

"Geez! So whiny, so ornery-you want everything!" he complained, but he fell down to the grass, sitting cross-legged. "Whatever."

She smiled slightly. "Brat," she murmured. He pouted like he was hurt, like a puppy. It looked funny on him, like she'd kicked him or something. "What?" He pouted more. Her smile widened. "Stop looking at me like that!"

"Like what?" He blinked at her innocently.

She bit back a giggle. "Like…Like Gon or something!" Killua made another face. Fern just shook her head at him, amused. "Stop it!"

He cracked. "Okay, okay!" he gave him, holding his hands up defensively. A grin spread across his face and he laughed. "Come on, Blondie, admit it, it was funny."

"Was not!"

Killua rolled his eyes. "Girls…"

Fern let out a breath. She wrapped her arms around her legs and shivered. She buried her head in her arms, listening to the crickets sing in the silence of the night.

_Rustle rustle_

Fern looked up at the sound of grass moving. She jumped. Killua was sitting right next to her. Like,_ really_ right next to her. His arm brushed hers, raising goosebumps on her skin.

Fern leaned away warily. "…what?"

"You said you were cold." He grinned mischievously.

"So?"

Killua snickered, shifting until he was pressed up against her side. He wrapped his arm around her, ignoring her squeak, and pulled her towards him tightly. "I'm just doing what you said," he drawled.

"Get off!" Fern yelped. Her eyes widened and she stared down at him incredulously, sputtering. "Hey! W-who gave you permission to hug me!" She tried to shove him away. She pushed him, but he'd just fall right back onto her. "I didn't say you could—I'm not—geez-get your own pillow!" She shoved him one last time, but gave up as he leaned right back into her, arms tightening around her tiny body. "Ugh…"

"Done?" his voice tickled her ear. She stiffened, her face heating up faster than her mittens ever could. Killua sneered before dropped his head on her shoulder. Then he groaned. "Geez…you're like a bone bag. That hurt my cheek," he whined, rubbing it for a second. He sat up and glared at her. "Who would want you as a pillow?"

"Uh, you, apparently!" Fern gaped.

He stuck his tongue out at her. "Just 'cause I know it makes you tick," he jeered, but she could've sworn his cheeks flushed red for a second. Then he snickered at her astonished expression and rested his head back on her shoulder.

Fern jerked back. "Hey! I thought you said—

"Just shut up…" he groaned, closing his eyes and nuzzling into her neck. "I'm tryin' to sleep, woman…"

"But you called me bony!" she protested, huffing. "I'm not bony. A-and you're heavy. Like, uh, fat or something." She elbowed him. "You lost pillow priviledges! So let me go!"

"Fine, you're not bony…" Killua grumbled. He shifted, curling up into her side, like a…cat or something. "You're…" He cut off.

Fern blinked. "I'm…." she prompted. "What? What am I?" Her eyes narrowed warily. "…Were you going to insult me again?"

Killua was silent, seemingly asleep.

"H-h-hey!" she stuttered. His white hair tickled her cheeks, soft and fluffy. "Hey!" He didn't respond. She sighed, rolling her eyes. "Whatever..."His mouth twitched up.

He was smirking. At her.

"Stop it!" Fern's cheeks flushed red. She huffed one last time, looking away stubbornly. "Jerk…"

The only sound was the soft whooshes of Killua's breathing.

Fern sat there for a while, watching the white moon. She closed her eyes and tried to sleep, but she couldn't. Her head just kept spinning and spinning. And she couldn't sleep knowing that that stupid boy had his head on her shoulder. And Killua was heavy. And warm. But mostly heavy. She shifted a little. _Uncomfortable._ She shifted again. _Ugh_….

Then she gave up and sighed deeply, slumping against Killua and relaxing. _Whatever…._

"Hello…" she mumbled to him. "Wakey wakey? Uhm…you sleeping?" She nudged him with her shoulder, but he didn't move. His face was so peaceful, relaxed. The white light of the moon illuminated his pale skin, making his white hair even whiter.

Fern turned away and closed her eyes, trying to sleep. It didn't happen. Five minutes later and she was wide awake as an owl. She opened her eyes and stared agigatedly at Killua's peaceful face. _Idiot…if I'm a dead zombie tomorrow, it's all your fault…_She frowned at his steady breathing. _ I guess he's asleep…maybe. _

Fern poked the "sleeping" boy on the forehead. _Wonder what he's dreaming about… _Then she stared at his white hair. She wanted to touch it. It was so messy… did he brush it? Like, ever? _Hmm….it looks…really…urgh….SOFT!_

Unable to stop herself, Fern ran her fingers through his hair. It _was_ soft. Her hair was like...brittle straws compared to his girly, clean-smelling…granny hair. His hair was softer than hers…._Shit, that's not fair._ The boy was still soundly asleep, unresponsive to her touch.

Fern closed her eyes and tried to sleep again.

It didn't work.

Curiosity sprung to life inside of her. Fern opened her eyes, looked at Killua, and smirked. Then she brushed his bangs to the side._ The Dustin Heiber bangs? _ She looked at him and frowned. _Freak no. _ _Emo-cut? _She brushed them to the outside side. _Urgh…double no. _

Finally, she just let out a huge breath, mussed up his hair until it looked like it did before. _He looks cutest this way…like a cat-boy. _She bit back a giggle, the image of Killua with cat-ears flashing in her head. _Mrrrw…_

Quieting down, Fern let out a breath and shook her head. _Ugh, this is ridiculous! Counting sheep, counting sheep, 1 sheep, 2 sheep, 3….oh fuck this, I hate sheep!_

Closing her eyes, she leaned against Killua, letting her head fall on top of his. His hair sure was a good pillow….

She dreamed of white-haired kittens.

. . .

Killua stared up at the night sky, his mind preoccupied by thoughts. Despite all his complaining and whining and teasing about her—no, because of all of that, he found Fern incredibly amusing. She was a…game. A really good game with all different sorts of characters. There was PMS-Fern, bitch-Fern, crying-Fern, blushing-Fern, big-sister-Fern, hunter-Fern…and then there was just…Fern, and that in itself was a novelty.

She was a game, and he couldn't seem to stop playing it. Her reactions were so…interesting. When she laughed, she really laughed. Her cheeks flushed a little and she held her gut like it was going to explode. When she cried, she cried floods. The damn gates broke and the tears came with unlimited hiccups and sniffles and sobbing. When she lied, her eyes became doe-like and her smile sugar-sweet. When she was honest, she fidgeted. Everything she did, there was something…to it. Something…something inexplicably human.

But she was a girl. And Killua didn't like girls. They were just so…girly. And…ick. But his head was on her shoulder and she was sleeping on him now. Ha, she'd been complaining about him using her as a pillow? She was practically squeezing the life out of him.

A pink flush came to his cheeks. He snuck a glance at the sleeping girl. Her…her face! He fought not to laugh, but cracked a grin. She was drooling a little, and she might have been saying something, but it was all jumbled up. She hiccupped, whined, and then fell silent. Killua snorted. "Weirdo…" But a warmth, a certain…fondness had enveloped his chest.

She was so alive.

Killua closed his eyes and sighed. Carefully, he shifted and ducked out of her arms, sighing when he was free. The girl grimaced at the sudden cold and shivered against the grass. He stretched a second, yawning cat-like. He paused. Then he crouched down again, beside the blonde girl lying on the grass, and stared at her.

"I don't like you," he told her. Killua made a face. "You're…making me go crazy."

. . .

**End of chapter 18.**

**So...what did you think of the fluff (awkwarrrrrd) and the little Killua POV at the end? Who wants to draw me fanart (lol jk...maybe). **

**Review...for the sake of my ego...**


	20. We're Off to See the Wizard

**A/N: Hey, I got this chapter out as quick as I could. Longer than the previous one, and lots of stuff happens! A bit rushed, but whatever...Not very much Killua in this one, unfortunately, but more Kurapika and Leorio. Sorry if there are a lot of grammar errors in this one, I am too lazy to read it over again, and my sister is at school, so...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own HXH**

**Chapter 19: We're Off to See the Wizard**

Three days passed quickly, and before Fern knew it, the fourth exam was over. Thank god. She was beginning to worry a little—was Killua sick? He was acting so weird, well, weirder than he normally was. The jerk was acting like a real ass, insulting her every move. If she tried to sleep, she was snoring too loud. If she walked, she was walking too slow or too heavily. Hell, if she breathed, it was toxic to him or something. Freaking jerk! What, was he on his period or something?

She was so mad at him she could've killed him. With the moss on the tree trunk in her shelter, just scraped it off and shoved it down his throat till he choked. _So he insists on sleeping like on my shoulder and then he's all EW-GIRL-COOTIES-NOOOO?_

_I knew he was bi-polar. _

By the time the fifth exam came around, she was seething. Killua was ignoring her and only talking to Gon, mostly just to complain about her LOUDLY. He was so obnoxious and immature too. It was obvious he was trying to get on her nerves. What she didn't get was why. He just woke up one day and decided to it was time to hate on Fern?

_Whatever. I am so not talking to him, _she huffed. _Like, ever. _

After a blimp ride and a few hours of telling Kurapika loudly why Killua was a jerk, she found herself standing inside a giant hotel with the remaining candidates by her side and the examiners and Netero in front of her.

She listened half-heartedly to the explanation of the next exam round. The fifth exam was a tournament. Not a winner tournament, but a loser tournament. Instead of one winner, there was only one loser. Of the candidates fighting in the tournament, only one who fail, and that was only if they lost…what? Like, all three battles? All of them had more than one chance to prove themselves Hunter quality. Fern sneered, almost annoyed at the low standards of the exam. She only needed to win one one-on-one battle to be qualified as a Hunter.

There was only one annoyance:

She was the first match.

"Now then, the first match: Number 53 Pokkle versus Number 103 Fern! Candidates, please step forward!

Fern closed her eyes and exhaled slowly. _All you have to do is win. It's simple. It's easy. It's fast. _She tried to calm herself, but adrenaline kept surging through her, making her body tingle from head to toe.

"Good luck," Gon whispered from beside her.

She forced a smirk. "Keep the luck for yourself, Gon. I won't be needing it," she said, purposely speaking loud enough for Pokkle to hear her. The boy met her eyes, scowling, and she just smiled back sweetly. "Look at him bristling. Just like a little rabbit, don't you think?" She giggled, face darkening slightly as she stepped forward into the arena. "Fox thinks it's time to hunt."

"The match shall now commence!" the announcer exclaimed loudly, stepping backwards to get out of the field.

Across from her was Pokkle, standing with his knees crouching. His grey eyes narrowed on her. She watched him quietly for a second.

He was a pretty short male with thin limbs. He was no steroid-monster, so he wouldn't be hurling her to Napaj anytime soon. He didn't look especially graceful either. He was quiet though, an experienced hunter. Pokkle was a bowman—a skilled one.

For a second she considered using her nen, then decided against it. It would cause problems…Netero might even want to know where she'd learnt it, and like hell if she was going to tell anyone that. And Killua would no doubt be all up in her face, like OH MI GOSSSHHH!...Where'dyoulearnthat?

_Focus_, she chided.

Pokkle's hand inched towards his arrows. His eyes did not move from her as he wrapped his hand around shaft. Silence engulfed the room as he slowly, carefully, drew it from the carrier. "I won't hesitate to shoot," he said coldly.

But Fern just smiled widely and giggled into her hand. "Hm? Oh my gosh, you're so funny," she chirped. "Don't you know?" Her eyes darkened. "You won't even get a chance."

. . .

Fern breathed heavily as she jumped back away from Pokkle. A wave of dizziness hit her, and she was bent over, clutching at her head. Her eyes momentarily blurred. _Shit! _She cursed. Her gaze flittered over the wound on her side. It was a small cut, only a graze, but there had been poison on it, and now…

_I have to end this quickly. _

"Give up now before the poison spreads too much," Pokkle advised. He reached over his shoulder and drew an arrow. "That dose I gave you isn't enough to kill you, but this next arrow will be."

Fern took a deep, shuddering breath. _I'm small, so the poison will spread more quickly. That means I only have about two minutes left before I'm a goner. _She narrowed her eyes and the corner of her lip pulled down in a frown.

_Play times over, bitches. _

Fern erased the grimace on her face and straightened up in a standing position. A calm, assured smile graced her face, and her stance was confident and…relaxed, almost. "Don't worry," she said. "It'll be over soon."

Her smile widened as she began to walk in a perfect circle around him. Her strides were long and graceful, but casual, as if she were merely ambling down a street. Her bare feet pressed against the cold, tile ground, but made no noise. No squeaks. No pitter-pattering. No sound.

_Silence…_

She walked, and walked, and walked in a circle. The smile remained on her face the entire time. Pokkle's eyes were trained on her, his bow remaining in its position above her heart.

And then she vanished.

Pokkle's eyes widened and darted around the room, searching frantically for the little blonde girl. Where was she? She was there a moment ago, but then he blinked, and she was gone. As though she had faded into the silent shadows of the sun…

A cold bead of sweat formed on his forehead and dribbled down his cheek to his chin. He swallowed loudly and reached down with his hand to wipe it—

_Slam_

A foot jammed into the center of his back and he crashed onto the ground. He blinked and Fern had dropped down on top of him. She held his hands tightly behind his back, pressing his face hard into the ground. He couldn't move.

Fern smiled widely. "Caught you!" she sang.

_My arrows, my arrows, where are the-_

His eyes widened at the sight of his bare shoulder.

They were gone.

"It's over," she said coldly. Her fingers wrapped around one of his arrows and drew it out of the case, pointing the tip of the arrow right at the base of his neck. She could feel his body tensing, the hairs on the back of his neck standing straight up in alarm. "Will you surrender?" Fern giggled. "Or…." She leaned in, her smile cold against his ear. "…_will I have to _make_ you?_"

Pokkle gulped. "I…."

She pressed the arrow closer to his skin. The tip drew blood, and Fern laughed joyously. "Look at it!" she cheered. "You're bleeding! Isn't it pretty? You're so pretty—I can only imagine how much fun you'd be to play with." She smiled. "I like to play with dolls. But a human is better, isn't it? It screams! And it bleeds and oh…it cries too. It's such a shame I can't kill you…to drive this arrow into your heart and pull it out and hold it in my hands, still beating…"

"I…I…"

"But…oh well." Fern's smile darkened maliciously into a smirk. She gripped the arrow tightly. "I guess I'll just have to PLAY ANOTHER TI—

"I give up."

Fern paused. "What?" she said sweetly.

"I…" Pokkle swallowed loudly. "I give up."

Fern smirked. _And the insane yandere bitch proves to be unbeatable yet again…_

"Good call," she sneered, releasing him and rising to her feet. Her head began to spin again.

She turned to Netero and smiled. "Oh. Right. Thanks for the license," she said. Out of the corner of her eye, she could vaguely see the others shouting and congratulating her… She stood a step towards them.

And then it all went black.

. . .

Killua watched as Fern's eyes suddenly blurred out of focus and she swayed, once, twice. He gaped. "Again?!" he exclaimed in disbelief.

"Again what?" Gon asked.

A second later, Killua was in the center of the arena, gripping the unconscious girl around the waist, leaving her hanging over his arm like a broken rag doll. "Geez, give me a break!" Killua groaned, struggling to shift her weight. "Does this girl ever stop fainting?' Not a damsel in distress' my ass…."

Leorio, Gon, and Kurapika instantly rushed to her side, eyes wide and frowns of worry marring their faces. Killua handed Fern over to one of the medics and watched blankly as they loaded the unconscious girl onto a white stretcher and carried her out of the room.

There was something disconcerting about seeing her like that. She looked so….weak. Dead, almost. Her skin was pure white, her hollow cheeks and jutting bones even more prominent than before. Her face was scrunched in pain, and Killua looked away, unable to watch.

"It's the poison," Killua said nonchalantly. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and shrugged. "That was bound to happen."

His eyes narrowed. _But…_ The image of Fern circling an anxious Pokkle and then disappearing into the shadows played over and over again in his mind. He frowned. _It can't be… She couldn't have…_

Fern couldn't have done that.

Because…That wasn't just any technique. It was an assassin technique. A Zaoldyeck technique.

A _secret _Zaoldyeck technique.

She'd never seen him do it—never. He didn't use it in front of her, not wanting her to…see him like that. And it wasn't even an easy technique to copy. It was hard—Killua had been trained for weeks and weeks to learn that. She shouldn't have been able to do it! But she had. The fact was that, she _did _know how to do it, and she did it well. Killua clenched his hands in his pockets.

But…

If he didn't teach it to her…

Who _had_?

.

.

.

Fern awoke in a clean white room. She was on a bed—a soft one, and a thin, white sheet was draped over her legs.

Letting out a big yawn, Fern rubbed the sleep from her eyes, stretched. She scratched her head, confused. _How did I get here…?_ Searching through her memories, she recalled heading to a very large hotel in Zebil City for the fifth exam. She also remembered fighting Pokkle and winning, but she couldn't remember anything after that. Had she fainted? _No Fern, you teleported here with your alien powers._…Probably.

Fern frowned.

But what about the others? What about the matches afterwards? What had happened while she was asleep? Did the fifth exam end or was it still going on? _Fuuuudge…._

Her frown deepened.

What day was it? What time? How long was she asleep for? Did the others leave without her?

She scowled. _Damn it, whoever decided people should faint when they get poisoned is one dumb idiot. I mean seriously, who is like, OMG I'M DYING….time to take a snooze! _Then she snorted. _Granny Bea would… _

Fern stood and took one last look around the room. Nothing. She was done there. Turning her back to the room, she walked away, stepping through the door and out of the room.

And then she was off, down the hallways, down the stairs, talking to the receptionist and asking where the Hunter Committee was, memorizing the directions, (stealing the wallets of rich people she walked past), and then climbing _back up_ nine flights of stairs she had already gone down, weaving through mobs, and squishing into an overfilled elevator, until _finally, finally, __**finally**__, _the elevator _dinged!_, and the doors slowly began to slide open.

To reveal a mad wild party.

Complete with drunks, perverts, and crazy dancing people with dorky expressions.

Well.

Whoop-dee-_freaking_-doo.

Fern stared through half-lidded, dull eyes at the party before her. She didn't move.

"Hey, you!" a woman with pink hair (who looked suspiciously like Menchi) half danced, half stumbled over to the elevator. She jabbed her finger at Fern and leaned in, obviously drunk. "You're late for the paaaaarty," she drawled, her words slurring. A burp escaped her lips and then she giggled. "Whoopsies! Excuse meeee."

Fern stared at her unblinkingly.

"What are you doooing?" Menchi slurred. "Why are you staaaring at mee? Am I thaaat perrrrty to look aaat?"

'_Close '_Fern spammed the button, jamming it over and over with her finger. _Get me the freak out of this crack party_. The doors were almost shut when a hand reached out and attempted to pry them back open.

"Hey!" That was Leorio's voice. "Don't leave! Hey, Fern! Open it up!"

Fern's eyebrow twitched, mildly annoyed, before she pressed the 'open' button.

Leorio let out a relieved breath of air as the doors slid the side. "God!" he exclaimed. "Why'd you close the doors?"

Just then Hanzo stumbled by, giggling drunkenly and swaying with his arms by his side like an ape. "Heheh," he giggled. "Pretty ladies…" And then he collapsed on the floor.

She raised her eyebrows and shot Leorio a pointed look. "_Ooookay_," she drawled. "I'm so out of here." She then reached up for a third time to press the 'close' button on the elevator door, but Kurapika stepped out from behind Leorio.

"Ugh," Fern groaned. "What do you people want with me now?"

Kurapika sighed. "I apologize for whatever inappropriate things you may witness tonight. However, this is actually the right floor, despite what you may be thinking."

"Haaaaaanzo!" Menchi's shrill voice slurred. "Whyyyy are you lying on the floor there? Isss it cooomfy? Let me sleep there toooo!" And then she flopped down on the ground beside Hanzo, unconscious in a second.

"Ugh…" Fern grimaced. "My eyes…"

She turned away from the scene of Menchi and Hanzo lying on the ground in a drunken heap and glanced around the rest of the room. A whole of banquet of food was presented on top of numerous tables spread across the room like a restaurant. _Fancy._

Fern blinked suddenly. "Wait…where's brat one and brat two?"

Kurapika sighed slightly, a glum look saddening his face. "Gon's….over there."

Fern followed his gaze. Gon had his back turned to her, gazing silently out the night window. He seemed…distant. Lost in his thoughts. That…wasn't Gon like at all. She glanced around the room yet again. And where was Killua? He was _always_ with Gon

Something wasn't right.

She frowned. "What about Killua?"

"He's gone," Kurapika sighed.

Fern's eyes widened. "_What_?" Fear attacked her with a mallet. "Gone?! What do you mean? He—he's not d-dead…" She swallowed. "Right?"

Kurapika shook his head. "No…"

She relaxed, but frowned. "Than what…."

"He's gone," Kurapika repeated. "He went back home."

She frowned. Killua didn't like his home at all. He acted like he'd avoid it like the plague if he could. And wasn't that the whole reason he had ran away to begin with? "…Why?" she finally asked, confusion lacing through her words. "What did he do? Get a pair of ruby shoes and sing there's no place like home? Cause I don't think he would do that."

"It's a long story," Kurapika sighed.

Fern shot him a pointed 'You're not getting out of this' look. "Longer than your sighs? I didn't know that was possible. And, you know, I think I have enough time to spare for a friend who's gone M.I.A ," she said haughtily, glaring at him.

Kurapika hestitated a moment before nodding. "Sorry," he said. "It's just…It's hard to describe what happened." He motioned towards the arrangement of couches that sat around a center table. "Shall we sit as I explain?"

"…Fine," Fern agreed. She walked over to the couch, following right at Kurapika's heels and plopped herself down on the red, plush couch across from him. "Spill. Now."

"Well…" Kurapika began. "Perhaps I should start from the beginning. After you fainted…"

.

.

.

"….And so Killua ended up being the one to fail the exam in the end, and the rest of us passed," Kurapika finished.

Silence enveloped the space around them.

The blonde boy reached down and took a sip of the tea in front of him. "…Well?" he asked quietly. He opened his eyes and lifted them to stare straight into Fern's. "What do you think?"

"What do I think?" she repeated. She scowled. "Well, what do you think I think? I think I'm going to drag Killua back from that mountain with a leash around his neck if that's what it takes to make him stay."

Leorio gaped. "What? You're crazy!" he yelled. "You can't just barge into a famous family of assassin's house like that! It's too dangerous!"

"And?" Fern asked, raising an eyebrow. "Dude, walking is dangerous too. I mean, heaven forbid something goes wrong and I trip! Le GASP! Visiting assassins and walking down streets…what's the difference? I'm risking my life either way, aren't I? The only difference is one situation has ass, sass, and sin, in it, and the other is…well, kid appropriate."

"You-you-_UGH_!" Leorio shrieked. "Why do I even try? You guys are all insane!"

Kurapika shook his head and chuckled slightly. "You and Gon—you're both so stubborn," he said, lifting his head and meeting Fern's curious gaze. He smiled softly. "Killua really means a lot to you guys, doesn't he?"

"Nooooo," Fern sneered. "I just hang out with him for no reason. Just like I hang out with the shit on toilet seats, and the knots in my hair when I wake up in the morning. I just love talking to things I hate. Really." She took a deep breath to calm herself and bit her lip. "What, does he not mean a lot to _you_?"

"Of course he means a lot," they both replied at the same time, as if it was obvious. Kurapika and Leorio looked at each other and smiled.

"He did mean a lot to us, but I always felt Killua was closer to you and Gon than us," Kurapika explained as Leorio nodded in agreement. "And during his fight with Illumi, he mentioned you and Gon as the two he wanted to be friends with specifically."

Fern blinked and looked up. "Really?" She looked doubtful.

Kurapika nodded, smiling. "Really."

"…Oh." And then she laughed. "And here I thought he hated me."

Kurapika and Leorio shared a look, frowning, then sighed. Leorio sat down and leaned forward, gazing at Fern with heavy eyes, suddenly serious. "…You know…I know you probably feel a lot more comfortable around Killua and Gon because you relate to them better…being the same age and all…but…"

Kurapika smiled, reaching forward and holding her hand gently in his. "You know you can tell us things too, right?"

Fern frowned, tugging at her hair nervously. "Yeah, whatever, I know…" She hated talking about this stuff, all this cheesy shit made her uncomfortable…

"I'm not that much older than you guys," Kurapika pouted teasingly. "Though I can't say the same for Leorio."

"Hey!" Leorio shouted. "I'm only nineteen!"

Fern looked down as Leorio and Kurapika began to argue. She bit her lip and spoke up. "…I don't trust adults or older people easily…" Fern admitted reluctantly. They quieted instantly, and she could feel their gazes on her head. She was staring at the floor, then at her feet, then at the window. "I just…" She shrugged vaguely. "Bad experiences…."

"Just…I always feel like…they're looking down on me…" she muttered quietly, twirling hair around her finger, kicking her feet against the couch. "Not wanting to talk to me…wanting to get rid of me…like I'm a rat or something…"

Kurapika smiled comfortingly, reaching over to pat her head, making her squeak. He chuckled. "I'm sorry…but I do know what you mean." His eyes lowered at little, seeing something no one else could. "After my family...you know…I was all alone, on the streets for a while, and…" He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Some people are much kinder than others."

Fern's eyes lit up and her head shot up. "What? Really? You were on the streets?"

Kurapika eyed her then nodded. "Yes…not the best time of my life, I've got to say…It took me a while to shape up and then I was taken in by a swordsman, who taught me to fight…"

"Well, since we seem to be having a confession game going here…I think I'll join in," Leorio jested, smiling crookedly. He plopped his feet up on the table and scratched his head. "I used to be poorer than a church mouse," he admitted. He scoffed, a little grimly. "Couldn't even afford a friend's surgery." He shrugged. "So he died."

Fern stood up suddenly. Knowing Leorio and Kurapika's eyes were on her, she walked around the table and curled up on the couch in between them. She felt better knowing they were next to her, and also sitting next to them meant they weren't staring directly at her. "Um…"

Kurapika gave her shoulder a squeeze. "It's okay, you don't have to tell us if you don't want to," he assured gently.

She wrapped her arms around her knees and turned to bury her face in a pillow. She took a deep breath, and then spoke. "I'm a homeless orphan."

There was a long stretch of silence. Fern felt like she was going to die. _Why did I tell them?_ Her stomach churned. _I just want to crawl under a rock and die…They're staring at me right now, I know they are, wondering why the hell they are talking to this disgusting piece of trash…_

And then there was an arm, wrapping around her tiny shoulders (she didn't realize were shaking until the steady grip of the hand stabled her) and tugged her into the side of a warm…Kurapika.

"Did your parents die?" he asked quietly, painfully. There seemed to be a smidgen of sadness in his voice and she knew it was from his own past.

She shrugged, refusing to look up. "No…I never knew them." Her chest squeezed painfully. "Stupid parents just didn't want me, I guess."

"Why didn't you tell us before?" Leorio groaned, slapping his forehead. "I finally get why a kid your age would be so desparate to go through this death trap exam…"

"Cause…" Fern mumbled sorely, frowning. She picked at the cloth of the couch, stomach twisting inside her uncomfortably. "…mmprhm…..me….."

Kurapika and Leorio blinked. "What?" Leorio raised an eyebrow. "Sorry, kid, gotta speak louder."

Fern swallowed. "…I thought you'd hate me," she rushed out, flushing bright red.

Kurapika stared. "Don't say things like that. Honestly, I think of like a younger sister. I always wanted a sibling to take care of, and if I had my choice, she'd be just like you." He laughed. "I'm sorry if I'm being weird, or scaring you, but I've always wanted to try the understanding-older brother card…"

"What?" Leorio screeched. "That was my line!"

"Aw, look at you too arguing like an old married couple," Fern cooed, rolling her eyes. She smiled slightly, the inside of her warming at their words. "Kurapika can be my mom, Leorio you're the dad. Cause Kurapika worries and frets too much and Leorio yells for no reason." She smirked devilishly. "What a happy family!"

Leorio gaped, then snapped his jaw shut, glaring. "Why you little brat…I'll get you for that!" He picked up a pillow and threw it at her, hitting her on the shoulder.

Kurapika glowered. "So immature!" he growled, but picked up a pillow and started deflecting all the pillow Leorio was throwing.

Behind Kurapika's shield, Fern giggled. She grabbed pillow and threw them back at Leorio, laughing out, "PILLOW FIGHT!"

…And then Menchi fell on the table, screamed, "PIWWOW'S ARE SWOO YUMMMY IN MY TUM-TUM TUMMY!" grabbed the pillows and started shoving them in her mouth. "Nom NOM NOM NOM NOM!"

_Silence…_

"AHAHAHAAHAHA!" Laughter burst out of the three of them, and the pillow fight was as quickly abandoned as it was stared, as Kurapika Leorio and Fern fell on the floor laughing at the skeptical the pink-haired girl was making.

.

.

.

"So…I guess this is farewell," Kurapika said.

Kurapika, Leorio, Gon, and her were all standing out in front of the hotel, their faces and bodies tainted burnt orange in the soft golden light emitted from the sun. The Hunter Exam was over, and now they had to go their separate ways.

Gon nodded. "I guess so."

"We'll meet again someday?" Leorio asked, his smile bittersweet.

Fern's eyes began to tear up against her will. Shit. She always got emotional during things like this. She could just see all the memories they'd gone through together playing over in her head. Blowing up walls in the first exam…catching fish in the second…arguing like children in the third exam…playing tarzan in the fourth exam…um…fainting in the fifth? "I'm not sad," Fern sniffled, laughing weakly. She rubbed her eyes, blushing. "Really…really, I'm not!"

Kurapika smiled at her softly. He leaned down to her level and patted her head. "Don't worry, it makes us all want to cry," he assured her. "We'll miss you too."

Gon sniffled.

Leorio smiled softly. "One day, we'll see each other again."

Fern burst into tears. "Noooo!" she wailed. "I don't want to miss you guys!" she sobbed, grabbing Kurapika by the cloak and shaking him. "You guys are all jerks! I hate you!" She hiccupped, dropping Kurapika and rubbing her eyes furiously, sniffling. "Why'd you gotta go and m-make me s-s-sad? D-don't leave!" Her cries got louder. "W-we didn't even hug yet!"

Gon cracked. Waterfalls flooded from his puppy-dog eyes. He tackled her and squeezed the hysterical girl around her middle. "Feeern!" he wailed. "I'm so sorry! I miss you! Already! Y-You're like my sister!"

"I already have an unofficial younger brother but you can always be my pet puppy! I will adopt you!" Fern cried back, hugging him too.

Kurapika laughed, but bent down a little awkwardly to join the hug. "I suppose that would make me the older brother?"

"I am NOT the Dad!" Leorio quickly objected, but his voice wavered as he began to tear up. "Y-you guys…" He threw himself into the hug, his long arms tightening the circle of friends. "Ugh, you're all annoying brats, but I'm gonna miss you all…"

Fern took a deep breath and wiped her eyes. "Promise that this won't be the last time we meet?"

They nodded firmly. "Promise."

And with that, the four friends gave each other one last, long look before breaking apart and heading on their own ways…..

Or not.

"Wait….Why are you all following me?"

"Why are you all following _me_?"

"No, no all of you are following me!"

"Oh my god, shut up! And all of you-please stop stalking me, it's so not cool at all!"

Four pairs of eyes stared at each other for a long time, a chasm of silence opening between them, before suddenly they all burst into laughter.

"Fern, if you were at school, you'd be one of those popular kids," Leorio teased. "The mean, bratty one that says 'like' and 'Oh my gosh' every other line."

"Oh my gosh!" Fern whined jokingly. "Are you calling me mean? Like, a bitch? Well, you know what? You're a bitch! Like, a man bitch! Take that!"

Kurapika shook his head. "We need to clean your mouth…Twelve-year olds should not speak that way…"

Fern sighed and shook her head, calming down. "Ah…I guess that farewell will have to wait until later."

Kurapika chuckled. "Until after we all get our friend back."

"Alright!" Gon exclaimed, grinning. "Let's go visit Killua?"

"Together," Leorio and Kurapika said.

"Nooooo, alone," Fern drawled sarcastically. She smirked and started to sing loudly. "We're off see the Wizard, the wonderful Wizard of the Zaoldyecks…."

"…Fern," Kurapika droned.

"What?"

"…Please shut up."

.

.

.

End of Chapter 19

Soo, what'd you think? What are your thoughts on the Kurapika/Leorio fluff? what about the Gon moment at the end? Who is going to have nightmares about yandere Fern?

Review please!


	21. Akulla

**A/N: **Sorry for not updating guys...I've just not been into this story lately. This chapter isn't so great, I mean nothing really happens till the end. Just a reminder because I know I'll get reviews about this... This story was based off the 1999 anime, NOT the manga, and NOT the new version of the anime, so I guess it's kind of AU.

On a happier note, anyone who hasn't already should check my profile for links to Fern fanart! McDonalds ,I'm lovin' it!...the fanart I mean. So if you love me, you should hop on the bandwagon and draw Fern too! I may update faster...probably...maybe...hopefully...yeah.

Disclaimer: Do I look like Togashi? ...Don't answer that. Point is, I don't own HXH, but I do own Fern.

**Chapter 20: Akulla**

Five days later, Fern found herself standing outside the biggest, tallest, strongest gates she had ever seen, wondering how the_ hell_ that much land could possibly be owned by one family. She bet if she sold one 1/1000 of his land, she'd have enough money for a life time.

_Rich bastards. _

"Excuse me?" Fern asked, turning to the tour guide beside her with a polite smile. "Coco-chan? Can I ask you a question?"

The tour guide smiled at the small blonde. "Of course, honey! What would you like to know?"

"Um..." Fern paused, pretending to think. Then she smiled. "How do you get inside?"

The tour guide yelped in shock. "Inside? Weren't you listening? It's a bad place! It's dangerous! Honey, you don't want to go in there. "

"Please? Pretty pretty please? With a mushroom on top?" She sniffed and pouted innocently. "It's not like I'm actually gonna try it…" _Yeah...totally, I'm totally not gonna try it..._

Coco relaxed, but frowned. "But...no one who enters ever comes back out alive!"

"It's all a bluff," a gruff voice said.

Fern glanced up to see a burly man. A long, crooked nose protruded from his red, blemished-covered skin. _Ugh, gross. I think someone needs to look up the word hygiene in the dictionary, 'cause he certainly does NOT know the definition. _Nevertheless, she smiled. "A bluff? Why do you say that?"

The man smirked. "A phantom murderer family nobody's ever seen. If no one's ever seen 'em, can they be real? It's just a load of bull shit, that's what it is." She noticed the weapons he and the man next to him were carrying. They were bounty hunters, probably after the large bounty on the members of the Zaoldyeck family.

"Does that mean you guys are going to go in?" Fern asked, blinking curiously.

The burly man chuckled. "Hell yeah. We're goin' in and showin' those Zoaldyecks exactly what they are! Losers! We'll turn 'em in and riches'll pour outta our asses."

"In fact," his partner said, smirking menacingly. "Just watch. We'll show you now." He grabbed the gate's security guard and shook him until a ring of keys fell out of his pocket. "Piece of cake," he said. He tossed the man to the ground in front of Fern and Gon.

"Ouch," the man grumbled to himself as he rubbed his back. "Hmm. Mike will have something other than his usual food once more…" He sighed. "Ah well, I guess it can't be helped."

Fern frowned. _Mike? Food? _

_**Creak…**_

"Heh," the bounty hunter with the sword grunted as they pushed open the doors of the gate and stepped inside. "Now all we got'ta do is find those damn assassins."

The gates to swung shut behind them.

…

"_AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"_

A terrible scream pierced the air. Fern paled. Gon stiffened. It sounded like…like… Fern swallowed…_Like someone's being tortured._

A huge, furry paw opened the gates a crack and dropped something on the ground. The objects clattered as they collided with the ground. The paw quickly retracted and disappeared as the gates swung shut once again. Fern's eyes fell on the things the paw had dropped. Her breathing hitched.

"S-s," Fern stuttered. She swallowed, eyes staring at the pile of human bones on the ground. "Skeletons."

Her eyes ran other their cracked skulls, the picked-dry bones, and the gaping, empty black holes where their eyes had once been. Their flesh had been ripped from their bodies while they were alive…

Fern shuddered.

"Mike!" the security guard yelled from beside her, causing her to jolt from her thoughts. "The master has forbidden that you eat between meals! If you get fat, it won't be because of me!"

She blinked. _…fat…?_ Her eyes widened slightly as she turned back to staring at the gate. _What the frick? So two fat steroid-using hobos just walked into the Zaoldyeck's front yard, got eaten by this mysterious monster thingy, and this old dude is worried about his pet gaining weight. _She blanched._ Yeah. Uh, reality check needed much? I really don't think obesity is the problem right now._ She frowned and rubbed her forehead. _Is this 'Mike' thing possibly the Zaoldyeck's…guard dog? _

The security sighed and stood up, shaking his head. "Never listens…" he mumbled to himself, grabbing a broom from his house and sweeping up the skeletons.

. . .

After the incident with the bounty hunters and the gate, the tour bus had driven off and left Kurapika, Leorio, Fern, and Gon stranded with the security guard. Then, the security guard, Zai Bu-Lon, invited them into his little building to talk.

"I see…" the security guard said, sipping his tea. "You are Master Killua's friends?"

They nodded.

"That's good to hear," he said. He smiled softly down at his tea. "This family is lonely. The only ones who come to visit are bounty hunters like the ones you just saw. I'm glad Master Killua has friends." He took another sip of his tea before placing the cup down on the table and sighing. 'However," he began, raising his eyes from the table to lock with the fours'. "I cannot allow you to enter."

Gon frowned. "Why not? We're his friends. Aren't we allowed to visit him?"

Zai Bu-Lon shook his head sadly. "You saw it too, didn't you? The paw of that enormous animal…That's Mike-the guard dog of the Zaoldyeck's. It obeys only the orders of the family—to kill all intruders- otherwise it's uncontrollable. Actually, more than loyal, it's greedy." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Anyways, I can't let you enter. Allowing Master Killua's friends to be reduced to bones…" He shook his head again. "I can't do that."

Fern narrowed her eyes at him. "If that's the case, why are you unarmed?" she asked suspiciously. "You must be able to enter somehow."

Kurapika nodded in agreement. "Why else would you have a key?"

"Ah, good question," he said. "But you are only half right. To enter," Zai Bu-Lon began, "I don't use this key. This is the special key for intruders. All these weird people proudly come up to the front door, and when they can't open the door, they try to destroy the entrance. It's annoying." He frowned. "So we built a door on the side with a lock, so that this way, intruders come to steal it from me, and I don't resist. Then they're killed and eaten by Mike. I'm only in charge of cleaning up the messes Mike makes."

"So…" Fern mused, narrowing her eyes, "on the real door, there's no lock."

He nodded. "Exactly."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down here!" Leorio exclaimed, bursting into the conversation. "What's going on? There's two gates? One doesn't have a lock?" He scowled in frustration. "That doesn't even make sense!"

Zai Bu-Lon just sighed and stood. "I guess it would be best just to let you guys see for yourselves then…"

"Then you'll take us to the real gate?" Gon piped, eyes glittering hopefully.

He nodded. "Yes."

Fern sighed as the group stood and began to file out the door, following after Zai Bu-Lon as he led them down the dirt path around the outskirts of the Zoalyeck territory, away from the fake front gate and towards the real entrance.

Who knew entering someone's house could possibly be so complicated a process?

She let out a sardonic laugh. _I guess no one's coming to sell girl scout cookies _here_._

_. . . _

If Fern thought getting to the real gate meant they could actually go in this time, she was wrong. Because this time, even though it was the right gate, they had to actually open it. And as Leorio quickly discovered, that was no easy feat.

The doors were heavy—probably as a test, she assumed. There were seven doors to the gate, and the first one was two tons to open. The next one was four tons, and the third one was sixteen, and so on.

The first door was four thousand pounds.

Four. Freaking. Thousand. Pounds.

Fern had three words for them.

What.

The.

Hell?

_Do they think we're superman or something? _Fern thought to herself incredulously. _I mean seriously, even on steroids, that's ridiculous. This is impossible! IM-POSSIBLE, I tell you!_

But…apparently it wasn't, because according to Zai Bu-Lon, when Killua had returned he had opened three gates. Did that make her a wimp, or did that make him Chuck Norris?...No. Neither.

It made him Chuck Norris wearing a superman costume and chocolate underpants.

_I need to talk to someone sane. Like, uh, right now. _

A spontaneous urge to call Akulla on the phone overwhelmed her. She hadn't called him in a while and it made her insides jumpy. The more she actually pondered the idea, the more the thought tempted her. She hadn't called in literally, forever. Ugh…guilt was started to eat away at her stomach.

She couldn't help it. While a tomato-faced Leorio attempted to open the gate for the thousandth time, Fern turned away from the group, heading for the forest behind them.

Kurapika blinked. "Fern? Where are you going?"

"I'm gonna make a quick phone call," she said, waving around her ragged old cell phone for him to see. "Catching up with an old friend. Because I'm bored and I can."

And then she walked off, disappearing into the leafy foliage.

. . .

Fern rested her back against tree trunk as she pressed her phone to her ear. The dialing tone was ringing obnoxiously monotonously in her ear.

When the ringing finally stopped, Fern opened her eyes. "Hey, Akulla?" she asked. "You there?"

"Oh, who are you again?" Akulla's voice grumbled through the phone. "It's been so long. I don't think I can remember."

Fern groaned loudly. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry really, I'm just like, reaaaaaally busy. Empashis on the really." Then she perked up. "Wait! You missed me!" She broke into a grin. "Awwww, look at you, you missed me? Were you worried? Come on, admit it! You loooove me, Akulla looooves meeeee-"

"Shut up!" He was definitely turning red. He growled. "…Stop jumping to conclusions."

She laughed for a while, then sobered up. "Anyway…"

"Yeah," her friend's familiar voice crackled. "Need something, or just calling to talk my ear off again?"

"I don't talk that much! Geez…I just need to ask a couple of questions," she defended, pouting. "You don't need to be so stingy…"

She heard him sigh. "…What? What do you want?"

"I want information."

"On what?" He sounded tired.

"The Zaoldyecks."

She waited.

The crackling of the fuzzy speaker was all that answered.

Fern frowned. "Hello?" Why wasn't he answering? Bad cell-phone reception? "Akulla? Are you still there?"

"….Yeah, I…didn't hear," he said finally. "What'd you just say?"

"Um…" Fern mumbled, her frown deepening slightly. Akulla not listening? Now _that_ was a new one. _No, it's the phone,_ she thought, glaring at the clunky old thing. _Always spazzing at the worst moments. Stupid piece of crap. It looks like I found it in a dump! …Which, I did. Whatever. _She sighed, shaking her head. "I asked what you knew about the Zaoldyecks."

"The_ Zaoldyecks_?" Akulla repeated. His voice was unreadable over the phone.

"Yeah."

"_The _Zaoldyecks?"

"Duh, didn't I just say that?" Fern rolled her eyes. "How many times do I have to say it? The. Zaoldyeckssssss. Z-A-O-L-D—

"—Yeah, I know. I'm not an idiot. But, godammit Fern-_Why_?"

She furrowed her brow. "Why what?"

He sounded like he was gritting his teeth. "_Why do you want to know_?"

"Uh, because I'm curious?" Fern huffed. Her chest panged at the angry note in his voice. Was he mad at her? "Why? Is there something _wrong _with that? Why do you want to know why I want to know? Why're you being so nosy, huh? You think just cause I haven't seen you in a while you can be all mean and grouchy to me?"

"Fern! I'm not being nosy! I just don't want you getting into stuff you shouldn't!"

"What does _that _mean?" she asked incredulously.

"Look, I don't know why you want to know about the Zaoldyecks, but please, just stop! Whatever you're doing, stay away from them."

Fern's eyes narrowed. "Why?" she demanded. _He knows something. _

"I don't like it. It's dangerous."

_Why doesn't he want to tell me? _"So?"

"Just stay away from them!"

Why was he being so ornery today? Fern frowned. "I don't see why I should listen to _you_."

"_Fern_!" Akulla shouted. "I'm serious. _Listen_ to me. You're gonna get hurt."

"You can't tell me what to do," Fern protested, her stubborn streak rearing its head. She scoffed. "Besides, what do you know? I'm older than you, and I'm not stupid. I _know_ what I'm doing."

"No, you don't!" he insisted. "If you knew what you were doing, you'd never even mention the Zaoldyecks. That's the last place you ever want to be."

Fern tensed. _I knew it. _"Really now? What do _you_ know?"

"More than you!"

Fern's eyes narrowed. "And how do you know so much about this?"

_Silence…_

An exasperated sigh came from the other end of the phone. "…Fern, I'm serious. I really don't think you should do whatever you're planning on doing. It's not safe."

"What are you talking about?" Fern asked angrily, hiding the prick of hurt she felt behind a mask of anger. _He doesn't trust me. Why is he keeping secrets? I thought we were closer than that…_"You know what, I'm just going to hang up. You obviously don't want to talk."

"No, Fern, don't'!" Akulla yelled, his voice crackling in the speaker. But even with the buzzing and noise in the background of the phone, she could still hear the desperation in his voice. "Sorry!" he rushed out. "Really…sorry. But god, Fern, don't. Just…for god's sake, don't. Just...forget whatever you heard about the Zaoldyecks. And…And come back."

Fern's gaze softened. "…Come back?" Her voice was weak.

"Y-yeah," he breathed out. He sounded upset. "Please?"

"I dunno…" She sunk to the ground, picking at the grass. _But Killua…._"My friend…Um…I really need to do something." Before Akulla could protest, she opened her mouth and rushed to finish. "But I won't get into any fights, I promise."

"No."

"…Sorry," was all she said. _I'm going no matter what. _

Fern lowered the phone from ear, listening as his voice became quieter and quieter with growing distance.

"Fern! _Fern!_ Answer me!"

Her finger hovered over the 'off' button.

"Don't go—

"See you," she said.

_Click. _

. . .

_Click._

Silence…

"_Damn it!"_ he swore, swinging out his arm and punching the wall beside him. "Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, god damn it all!"

He couldn't believe it. Fern was so stupid, so stubborn—such a reckless_ idiot_! Why couldn't she listen to for just one time? Just this once—why couldn't she hear him out? Why did she have to be so freaking _stubborn_ all the time?

His grip tightened on the phone in his hands until the metal cracked and shattered into a million pieces. Sharp ends cut into his skin, but he ignored the blood seeping from his hand. He let the phone drop to the ground, crushing the remaining bits of it with his foot. "God damn it, Fern!" He thrust his arm at the wall again, ignoring the stone as it crumbled above the spot he had hit. "Don't—

_Smash!_

-Freaking—

_Smash!_

_-_Go—

_Smash!_

-There!"

Akulla breathed heavily as he stood, hunched over with his head down and his black bangs falling over his face, shadowing his eyes. "Stay away from the Zaoldyecks," he muttered under his breath. "For your own sake, Fern, stay away from that family…" He choked on his own words. "_Please_."

Slowly, the boy let his arm drop back down to his side and he sunk to the ground until he lay on the dirt on his back. The wall crumbled beside him, but he paid it no mind, instead staring up at the sky from behind the cover of his black bangs.

_Don't get involved with them, Fern…_

He reached up and brushed the hair from his face.

_You don't want to know my family. _

. . .

**Four years ago, an incident occurred in the Zaoldyeck house. **

**One of the sons ran away.**

**They searched and searched, but they couldn't find him. He had seemingly vanished into thin air.**

**Spelled forwards, his name was Alluka.**

**Spelled backwards…**

**Akulla. **

**. . .**

.

.

.

PLOT TWIST.

By the way, it's the end of the chapter. Just...thought I'd let you know, if...like...for some reason you couldn't tell.

ANYWAY, the chapter was short because I am lazy. But did you like the end? Who saw this coming, or...I mean who didn't it was pretty obvious... But what do you think, like it, don't like it? What about Akulla's character? Predictions for the future anyone?

**OOOOH wait, random idea ! Whoever posts the 300th review( because I am greedy) gets the chance to request a drawing of Fern (because I am narcissistic) which I will upload to deviantart. Uh if you are an anon reviewer and you get 300th I have no idea how to contact you. Yeah...just saying. **

**REVIEW PLEASE!**


	22. Kalluto

A/N: Sooo I am actually updating within a 2 month radius...you should be SO proud of me! Hell I'm proud of myself. Good job, Cookie, you get a...cookie. That sounds that cannibalism. Or slavery/cookie trafficking. Okay I'll stop making dumb puns now. Maybe. ...NEVER!

I got some new Fanart, and it's SOOO GOOD! Rieyama Yuuko drew Akulla/Alluka for me and it's sooo sexy! The links on my profile page (because putting spaces in the link is apparently too hard for me) so go check that out.

A shout out to Lahee who drew a a FernxKillua fanart, which is super cute. Her deviantart is Azza95. AND Lahee was the 300th reviewer, so I drew Akulla and Fern having a family moment together, which is on my deviantart page. SO if you want to see what I THINK Akulla/Alluka looks like, check out the fanart from Rieyama Yuuko and me!

All links are on my profile!~

BTW, Fanart and reviews make me update faster. I swear I'm not withholding chapters from you guys on purpose, it's just I take alot longer to get motivated to work on this story if you guys don't keep reminding me to work on it. And when people draw me fanart I feel extremely guilty. So I update. What can I say? I'm laaaazy~

Disclaimer: I don't own HXH. Never have, never will, never even wanted to. O.o

**Chapter 21: Kalluto**

When Fern returned to the group, she found them in the security building again. _Gave up on the doors, huh?_ She walked in and Zai Bu-Lon suggested all of them stay at the servant's quarters for a month until they could build up the strength to open up the gates themselves. She honestly didn't think that was possible for her to ever do, unless she popped steroids, gained a lot of weight, and grew a couple feet, maybe even changed gender, but whatever. Free lodging sounded great.

Hey. It was better than the streets.

And that was how she found herself standing in the foyer of some servant house holding a fifty-five pound bucket of water and a sixty-six pound broom, wondering why the hell she ever agreed to this. And then when she couldn't find an answer to that, wondering how the freaking hell the Zaoldyeck's even got brooms and buckets that heavy. Seriously, they were probably heavier than her.

Zai Bu-Lon smiled menacingly. "Before you go to bed, the four of you have to mop, sweep, and dust the first floor—

Fern let out a sigh of relief. Just one floor? Well, that wasn't too bad—

-and the second floor and the third floor. Oh, and the bathroom and kitchen!"

…_and your ass too? _Fern groaned and hunched forward in defeat. _Spoke too soon. _

. . .

Fern quickly found out that, in the Zaoldyeck's servants' quarters, nothing was ever done normally. No, there was always some sort of catch. If there was food to be eaten, they used utensils and plates and cups a billion times heavier than normal. If there was cleaning to be done, they used equipment that could have put sumo wrestlers' weights to shame. Heck, if there was even walking to be done, she was forced to wear grossly overweight slippers that felt like she was dragging around a whole other person whenever she lifted her foot from the ground.

Everything was training.

The only rest she was allowed sleep. And even that was painful, because her muscles were throbbing so much she felt like she had been run over by a truck driver and then stomped to the ground by a stampede of Great Stamps.

She was so exhausted from the day's activities she fell asleep the moment her head hit the pillow, and slept the rest of the night through like a rock. That meant no scary nightmares of creepy scarlet eyes, and no disturbing memories of her empty past.

At least that was good.

. . .

On the end of the third day at the servant quarters, Fern was asked to add yet another chore to her already super-long list of responsibilities.

"Ah, there you are," the security guard said. "When you're finished mopping the floors, would you mind going out and feeding Mike for me? Usually I do it, but since you guys are here, I figured the little extra training wouldn't hurt."

"Feeding Mike?" She frowned. Somehow, that didn't sound like the greatest idea to her. "Won't _I _get eaten?"

He chuckled. "No, no, don't worry. Mike will know what your there for and won't harm you." Seeing her doubtful look, he added, "I promise. Believe me, I've done it before."

Fern stared at him skeptically for a moment, before finally taking the pail from his hand. _Ugh! Why…so..heavy? _She tried hard not to sag from the extra weight. "…Fine," she sighed. "I'll do it."

"Great!" Zai Bu-Lon exclaimed. He reached forward and gave Fern a hearty pat on the back, causing her to tip forward and nearly fall over from the weight of the mop and pail in her hands. "You're doing a great job here, Fern!"

As Zai Bu Lon walked away, Fern rolled her eyes up to the ceiling, mindlessly continuing with her mopping. _I swear, Mr. Security Guard here is trying to murder me…That or he's secretly a sadist with a taste for torturing little girls. _

. . .

Fern resisted the urge to sigh as she hauled her way through the forest, pushing through the thick shrubbery and sloshing through the tall grass. Her feet let out a heavy _thunk _whenever they crunched down on the grass, and leaves crunched, bushes rustled, and twigs snapped with each movement she made.

Each step she took, she couldn't help but think that had she not been wearing the weights, she would have died before making this much noise in a forest. She grimaced. _You know it's bad when your own footsteps make you wish you were deaf._

Fern halted when she reached a large clearing. Large trees loomed over the meadow, a great wall closing her in from all sides. They cast heavy shadows down on the clearing, their figures both darkened and illuminated by the faint white light of the moon.

_Okay, here goes nothing…_

Fern took a deep breath. She brought two of her fingers up to her lips.

And blew.

A whistling sound, clear, and sharp, rang through the air. A heavy wind blew through the clearing, the trees swaying heavily and rustling as the air ran through their branches. Leaves tumbled across the grass and rolled to the other end of the clearing, as if somersaulting across a gymnast's floor. Slowly, the wind died down.

And then it fell silent.

_Rustle. Rustle. Rustle._

A loud crunching noise resounded from the bushes. Fern's gaze narrowed on the moving shrubbery. Branches shook, leaves crunched, the ground trembled, and then finally a large, towering figure emerged into the clearing. A heavy shadow cast over the whole ground, the darkness enveloping Fern's entire entity and the space around her.

_Pant. Pant. Pant._

Slowly, Fern lifted her head, dreading the sight that would behold her. She could feel the hot breath of the beast as it breathed over her, could feel the heat from its body. She imagined the sharp teeth sinking into her flesh and tearing apart her body as though she were a rag doll. Or a chew toy. Fern swallowed heavily. She forced her eyes to rise.

Ice blue eyes locked with bright, sharp yellow. Shocked, Fern froze, her heart halting.

It was a huge beast. A head that was than Fern's body loomed over her, wide yellow eyes staring down at her blankly. It's mouth was parted just enough for Fern to see the needle-sharp ends of its fangs, poking out of the creature's gums. Two pointed, fox-like ears extended form the top of its head, and four strong, powerful legs grew out from beneath its stomach. A heavy coat of beige fur covered the entire body of the creature, from the tip of its wet, black snout to the end of its large, flapping tail.

Fern stared.

The beast stared back.

And then its tongue lolled out of its mouth and its tail began to flap against the ground, thumping so heavily and wildly that the ground around the clearing began to shake in tremors.

Fern burst into laughter. "Oh my god! I cannot believe this. I was afraid of a dog! A _dog_!"

Mike thumped his tail again.

The fear had vanished from her system. Fern grinned easily. "Alright, alright, I'll feed you already!" She tipped over the pail, dumping its contents down on the ground in front of her. "There," she said. "Your meal."

Mike stared at her for one more second before the hound leaned forward and began to eat. Fern watched with interest as its huge, pink tongue lapped all the food up in big, slobbery licks.

In the blink of an eye, all the food was gone.

"Whoa," Fern said, awed. "That was fast."

Mike lifted his head from the ground and stared at her with wide, yellow eyes. It seemed to be debating something for a moment before it opening its mouth and bared its teeth at her threateningly.

Fern frowned and shook her head. "No," she said firmly.

Mike roared.

"No," Fern repeated, even more firmly.

The hound opening its mouth and made snapping noises with its teeth, as if threatening to bite her.

"I said no," she commanded. "No, I do not have more food. No, I will not get more food. And no, I am not food either."

Mike stopped, and then just turned and stared at her quizzically. Its head tilted to the side.

"No more food," she repeated. To reinforce her statement, she released a burst of nen from her Shouko, allowing the energy to reach out and touch the beast with its tendrils.

Mike reared back at the fluctuation of her energy, snapping its mouth shut and backing away slightly. Then, once it reached the end of the clearing, it dropped its head sullenly. The hounds ears drooped and it sat down on its haunches, a pitiful look in its eyes.

Fern smiled. "Good boy," she said, retracting her nen and allowing it to absorb back into her body. "Now you can—

_Crack_

"Who's there?" Fern whipped her head around, her gaze flickering around the empty clearing, before stopping on a bush in the middle. She stared hard at the foliage. Someone was there. He was trying to hide their presence, but she could still feel a slight leaking of Nen. "Come out. I know you're there."

There was slight rustling in the bushes before a figure emerged.

Fern blinked in surprise, nearly reeling back from shock. The person was not at all what she expected. It was a girl, a short one, with cropped black hair, pale, smooth skin, and an elegant frame. A bright red kimono hung from her body, flowing and yet heavy—made of a fine silk.

She looked like a porcelain doll.

"…How did you know?" came the soft voice from the girl's mouth.

Fern straightened up. "Your presence," she said. "I could feel it." She didn't take her eyes off the girl, wary of the foreign presence. _Who is she? And why was she stalking me? In the middle of the night?_

The girl furrowed her brow, looking slightly irritated. "Did I not hide it well enough?" Fern tightened her jaw. The girl obviously knew Nen, and knew it well if she knew how to conceal her aura.

"…Who are you?" Fern finally asked. Her hand instinctively moved towards her bag, searching for the comfort of her mittens.

The girl did not answer.

Fern tensed slightly, but did not move. "…Do you need something?"

An excruciating silence stretched across the cleaing before the girl finally answered. "I was merely curious," she said.

"Of what?" Fern asked suspiciously, narrowing her eyes.

The girl seemed to hesitate, debating something for a moment, before she asked, "…Are you Killua's girlfriend?"

What.

What?

What?!

Fern almost choked. "G-girlfriend?"

The girl nodded.

Fern's face twisted, a strange mix between horror, surprise, humiliation, and disgust. "N-no!" she exclaimed. She shook her head wildly, her blonde hair whipping around and slapping her in the face. "I mean, are you kidding? That's like, gross. Like, me dating an old man. He is like, such a brat. No way in hell. Or heaven."

"...Oh," the girl said shortly. "That makes sense. Why would Killua be interested in someone like you?"

Fern twitched. "Are you implying something? And why do you want to know? Who are you? You never answered." Fern blinked. "Wait a second, are _you_ his girlfriend?"

The answer was instantaneous. "_No_."

_Well that was…passionate._

"…If you're going to attack me," Fern said, "attack me now."

The girl did nothing. "I…Killua would be angry."

"If what?"

"…"

"If?" Fern pressed.

"…I hurt his friend."

She stiffened, staring at the girl. How does she know Killua so well? Fern didn't trust the girl. She didn't have the murderous aura of the dangerous ones like Hisoka, but the girl was dodging questions and seemed to know things she shouldn't. And why was she even there? "…And you know that how?"

"…"

Fern swallowed. "Well, I'm leaving," she declared abruptly. She was about to step into the tree line and make her way back to the servant's quarters, when a loud whine sounded from behind her.

" Mike," she said, just remembering the beast's presence. She glanced warily at the mysterious girl, keeping an eye on her while looking at Mike. "What is it, boy?" she whispered.

Mike whined softly at her, lowering his head to her level and nudging her gently.

She shook her head. "Look, I know you want to play, but I have to go now."

The hound whimpered, thumping its tail against the ground in protest.

"Don't be like that," she said, patting it on the head one last time. The girl was watching, and it was making Fern uncomfortable. _What does she want?_ "I'll be back tomorrow."

_What a sweet dog…kind of. Okay, maybe not. But all you have to do is show it a little bit of your strength, and it'll listen to your every command. _

"…Mike likes you," the girl stated suddenly.

"Because I'm stronger than him," Fern said. "And?"

"He only listens to members of the family."

"Does he listen to_ you_?"

"…Yes."

Fern's eyes narrowed. Who was this girl who knew Nen—this strange girl who lurked around the Zaoldyeck's property and seemed to know Killua and Mike so well? "Who are you?" she asked again, her voice dripping with suspicion.

The girl seemed to be debating something again. She stared at Fern with her blank, coal black eyes, her lips locked and her face emotionless. The girl stared and stared and stared, and then finally…

"Kalluto," she said.

And then she vanished.

Fern blinked and stared at the spot where the girl was just a moment ago, but all she saw was the dark shadows of the night and the forest behind her. She frowned in confusion and reached out with her nen to sense for the girl's presence, but quickly found that it was gone, missing—nonexistant.

"…She's gone," Fern mumbled to herself, surprised. "…The hell?"

Fern stood there alone in the clearing for a while, just watching the spot where the Kalluto girl had stood, as if waiting for her to magically appear again.

She didn't.

. . .

The next day, Fern took all three meals out for Mike. To Fern's disappointment, Kalluto was there for none of them. She wasn't there the day after that, or the day after that one either.

Still, Fern shrugged that off and continued on with her daily activities. She mopped the floor, cooked the meals (which she actually found fun), cleaned the bathroom, dusted the furniture, chopped wood, hung laundry, and then, at the end of her seventh day at the servants' quarters, went out to feed Mike.

"Mike!" she called. "Dinner!"

And, as she expected, the huge beast came bounding from the forest into the clearing, skidding to a halt in front of her and staring at her with wide, excited eyes.

"Sit boy," she said firmly.

He sat.

Fern smiled. "Good doggy." She dumped the contents of the pail out in front of her, smiling wider as Mike stared at it longingly, but still made no move to eat it. Ha! She so had this dog whipped. "Now you may eat." _If only people were this easy to train…_

Mike yipped with delight and devoured it all up in seconds. When there were no longer any crumbs on the ground, Mike sat up. He was panting heavily and his tail thumped wildly behind him.

Fern smirked at the dog. "Come here," she urged, watching as Mike climbed onto its legs and slowly slunk his way over to her. "Yeah, yeah, slowly. Just like that."

When Mike was in arm's length of her, Fern took the last step, closing the distance between them and laid a hand on his soft head. "See?" she asked, smiling. "No need to be afraid." She stroked him gently on the head, feeling his coarse fur beneath her fingers and scratching him lightly below the chin. The dog seemed almost to grin, and its tail sped up its thumping with pleasure.

Mike lolled its tongue out of the side of its mouth and, before Fern knew what was happening, the dog had licked its tongue across her face, covering her skin with a thick layer of dog slobber.

Fern blinked and pulled away. "Ew! Mike!" she groaned. "That's nasty!"

Mike whimpered and took a step back, seeming almost to be pouting.

"…Why does Mike listen to you?"

Fern blinked at the sudden voice, then smirked. "And the stalker appears again."

A rustling came from the bushes behind her, and the familiar figure of the girl from before emerged from the foliage. Her face was emotionless, except for the slight furrowing of her brow in annoyance. "How did you know I was there?" She sounded frustrated. "I hid my presence again. You still knew."

Fern turned, leaving her back to Mike to stare at Kalluto. "Your Zetsu isn't perfect yet," she said guardedly. "Your Nen still leaks out."

Kalluto was silent for a while before she opened her mouth. "…Why do you hang around them?"

"Them?"

"The ones you call your…friends," the girl elaborated. Her frown deepened. "They're weak."

"Riiight." Fern crossed her arms against her chest. "And I'm superman?"

"You know Nen."

"So?"

Kalluto's face tightened in something akin to frustration. "They're weak."

"Yeah," Fern admitted with a shrug. "I guess they are. Whatever." Then, without allowing Kalluto a chance of reply, Fern continued, "Now, would you mind telling me your relationship with the Zaoldyeck family? I like to assume you're not some random stalker."

"…I am part of the Zaoldyeck family."

Fern blinked. "But there're only five sons."

Kalluto nodded.

"O-kay…" _Freak._ She tilted her head to the side, narrowing her eyes. "Then who the hell are you?"

Kalluto's eyebrow twitched. "The youngest son."

"Haha, so funny, yeah…no." Fern rolled her eyes. "That's not even possible. You're like, a girl."

Kalluto's face darkened. "Boy."

Fern stared. "…That's not funny," she said.

"I. Am. A. Boy."

"But you're like, pretty," Fern argued, slightly dazed. "Like, princess pretty. Expensive porcelain dolly pretty! You have like…no testosterone! That's not possible."

Kalluto glared, seeming almost to blush in embarrassment. "…Girls are pretty? Yet you're ugly," he spat finally. "And you act like a boy."

"_You're uuugly," Killua drawled. "And you act like an old hag." _

Fern stared. Blinked.

And burst into mad snickers. "You—" she stuttered, "—Killua!" She almost fell over with laughter. "You really are related to him!"

. . .

Later that night, Fern lay in her bed, unable to sleep. She kept thinking back to the conversation in the meadow. Only one thought kept running through her head, keeping her from sleeping.

_Oh. My gosh. _

She stared at the ceiling with wide, slightly horrified eyes. Boys who look like girls…she knew two of them now, but…

Kalluto…

She winced.

_He's even worse than Kurapika. _

How the hell was that even possible?

.

.

.

REVIEW!

What do you think of Kalluto? Who misses Killua? Who loves Mike? Who looked at the fanart and what do you think of it? Everyone review please!


	23. Inner Demons

A/N: Hey guys! I'm off on spring break gallivanting with people in bunny suits and hiding egg-shaped bombs in people's yards...just kidding. Maybe.

Anyway this chapter's pretty long. It's not my best work, but whatever. Hope you like it!

Disclaimer: I do not own HxH. Obviously.

. . .

**Chapter 22: Inner Demons**

After that day in the clearing, Kalluto began to appear more and more often. It was always at the same time—when Fern went out to feed Mike at twilight. Some days Kalluto would ask her question, and other days, she—no—_he, _would not even speak at all. He would just stand there from the edge of the clearing, and watch. He never got close, he never touched her, he would just…watch.

At first it was a little nerve-wracking, but she got used to it. And…relaxed.

Besides, she didn't really mind the company.

So, every day, Fern would go to the clearing, feed Mike, play with him for a bit, talk to Kalluto (which sometimes was like talking to a wall of ice) and then head back. And before she knew it, it had become part of her routine to head there and have Kalluto appear from the woods randomly. She even came to expect the presence of his Nen at the back of her mind.

She had to admit though, sometimes he was annoying. His silence kind of made him want to shake him until a noise came out. Whenever she asked a question, it seemed to take him a year to decide whether he even wanted to answer or not, and most of the time he didn't even answer it at all. Plus, he never seemed to have anything nice or good to say about anyone or anything. On top of that, the only emotion he ever showed was irritation.

What a nice boy.

Right.

But just like how she got used to his staring, she also got used to his attitude. She had to admit he'd grown on her somewhat. And even if he didn't say it, Fern knew she was growing on him too. By the end of the second week, she even got him to tell her his age. He was ten. She supposed that probably shouldn't have made her proud. Buuuut it did.

Despite the fact Mike was the dog, somehow she felt like the one she was training was Kalluto. Kalluto was like some neglected puppy. He'd say rude things, she'd admonish him lightly, he'd get this irritated look on his face. And he was always there, like a puppy, almost waiting for her to come.

Sometimes, when she was just going about her daily activities, doing chores, laughing with Gon and Kurapika and Leorio, she felt as though someone was watching her, and she just knew it was Kalluto. Following her. Like a lost puppy.

Or a stalker.

Time passed, and before she knew it, feeding Mike and talking to Kalluto became routine. It was…cool. Yeah, cool. She didn't know what else to say. Kalluto was just, always there for her to talk to. Not only did he remind her _a lot_ of Akulla, but she had also come to think of him as somewhat of a…friend.

Which was incredibly stupid, because Kalluto would probably never even _begin_ to consider her his friend.

But still, she couldn't help it. As much as Fern tried to hide it, she'd always had a soft spot for kids. Whether it was a girl or a boy didn't matter—they always became somewhat like a younger sibling to her in her mind. Akulla was like a younger brother to her. Gon was too. And now apparently some stupid, naïve part of her had added Kalluto to that list without her permission.

She'd always wanted a younger brother to annoy.

But seriously?

Fern had the _weirdest_ ways of picking her friends.

. . .

One week.

Then, two weeks.

After that, three weeks.

And finally, a month.

As time went on, Fern felt herself getting stronger. Or maybe she was just getting used to it—she didn't know, but it felt like everything was getting easier.

The slippers became light. The equipment became normal. The work became faster and faster and easier to do until it took about the same amount of time and effort as if she had done it without the weights on. What she had previously thought to be impossible for her was slowly becoming reality.

And she was filling out. No, not getting_ fat_—and definitely not getting anywhere close to a body-builder-but more discretely toned, and less like a scrawny, tiny, wimpy, too thin, poor girl that she had always been before.

And, as she looked into the mirror on the last day of the one month-training, she was near shell-shocked at the change in her appearance. Her ribs no longer poked out from her stomach. Her cheeks were no longer hallowed out like a ghost's, and her hair no longer lay limp and dead around the top of her head. Bones didn't jut out of her skin—instead, they were covered by a layer of well-developed, lean muscle. Her skin was clearer, her cheeks had more a rosy flush to them, her hair looked shinier and healthier, and she had strength.

At first she was appalled, but then she understood. While staying in the servant's quarters, she was well fed. She ate all three meals a day for once, and apparently her body liked it. But that wasn't the only thing. The weights had made her stronger.

Okay, she had to admit it.

She looked better.

Just, overall,_ healthier_.

. . .

**A conversation in a clearing:**

"Hey, Kalluto. It's Fern. Obviously."

_Silence…_

"You know, I've been meaning to ask this for a while, but why do you dress like a girl? I mean, I know that's a boy's kimono, but seriously, it makes you look like a girl."

"…"

"Come on. Tell me. Tell me tell me-

"Mother makes me."

"Really? Uh…wow. That's like, one weird mother you have there."

"…"

"Hey, why don't you tell me something about yourself?"

"…"

"No? How about Killua then? He's your bro, right?"

"We don't talk."

"…Oh. Uh, sounds sucky. What about your other brothers? Do you talk to them?"

"…No."

"Okay…then who _do _you talk to?"

"Mother. You."

"…You need a life, sad child!"

"…"

"…Hey, Kalluto? Are you lonely?"

"…"

"I bet you are. I mean, I'd be too if I were you. Being a Zaoldyeck doesn't sound a lot of fun, you know. In fact, it sounds like a really crappy life to have. I mean, all you get to do is kill and stuff. No playing at all. How could that possibly be any fun?"

…

…

"..It's not."

"Not what?"

"..Fun."

…

…

…

"You know, I'm leaving soon. One more day and I'll be able to open that dumb gate."

"…Hn."

"You gonna miss me? I'll miss you."

"…Zaoldyeck's don't miss people."

"Wanna bet on that? I bet you a million bucks Killua misses either me or Gon…And NOT because we're dating! I mean, uhm, we aren't."

"…You won't make it to Killua."

"Why not?"

"Mother doesn't approve."

"If I do get to him, can I play with your hair?"

…

"I'm taking that silence as a yes. By the way, you look really funny when you're traumatized."

"…No."

"Too late. Well, I guess this is goodbye for a while then…"

_Silence…_

"Kaaaalluto…I'm _waiting_…"

"…Bye…Fern."

"Bye."

. . .

Fern took a deep breath and exhaled, calming her nerves and allowing a comforting blanket of confidence to envelope her. Then, opening her eyes, she leaned forward, pressed her hands against the cold metal of the gate doors, and pushed.

And pushed.

And pushed more.

Slowly, but surely, the two doors began to creak open. Crawling, crawling, crawling, moving one centimeter at a time…but they were moving, they were opening. Those two ton doors that had seemed so impossibly heavy to her on the first day were opening, opening—for her!

Elation provided her the last burst of energy she needed to thrust the doors open fully and step through.

"We did it!" she cried, bursting into a run. She grinned madly and tackled Gon into a tight hug. "We did it, we did it, we really, really, did it!"

Gon smiled and laughed along with her. "Yeah, now we can finally all go see Killua!"

"Oh my gosh, I so cannot wait!" Fern squealed, hugging Gon even tighter.

Gon turned blue and choked. "Can't…breathe…" he struggled out.

Fern blinked. "Oh." She released Gon and stepped away, smiling sheepishly. "Whoops. Sorry." She giggled. "I guess I'm not used to being this strong yet. This is like…Chuck Norris. The Zaoldyecks train little Chuck Norris armies."

Kurapika chuckled. "Yeah, it'll take a while for me to get used to this." He smiled and lifted his arm, flexing it slightly. "I never thought I would be able to lift two tons.

Yes, who knew Kurapika had the testosterone to form such…manly muscles. She'd have to revise her theory AGAIN. Okay, so maybe he wasn't a cross-dressing girl, maybe he was a transvestite.

Leorio laughed smugly, placing his hands on his hips. "And I, the great Leorio-sama can lift a grand total of four tons!" He tilted his head back and laughed madly. "Yes! Yes! Bow down to the great Leorio-sama! Ahahahaha! Ahahaha! Ahahaha!"

Fern sighed. "Okay, who put crack in his food?"

Kurapika stared at Leorio with half-lidded eyes. "I honestly don't think he needs crack to act this way."

"Crack?" Gon asked, clueless. "What's crack?"

Fern turned away from Leorio to pat Gon on the head. "Aw, Gon," she cooed. "Always the cute, innocent one. Don't worry about crack. Crack is whack for whackos like Leorio."

"Hey!" Gon protested, pouting slightly. "You're messing up my hair!"

Fern gaped at him, appalled. "You actually have a hairstyle?" She made a face and stared incredulously at his spikes of hair. "It looks no different than always…"

Shrugging, she dropped her hand and turning to look at Leorio. He was still guffawing, flexing his muscles and showing off for no one. "Okay, when do you think he's going to stop?" she droned

"Never," Kurapika muttered.

"Can we leave him behind?" Fern asked. "'Cause still have a whole mountain to climb until we get to the Zaoldyeck house."

"That sounds like a good plan," Kurapika agreed. "Let's go."

And so, the three turned and began to walk up the path, leaving Leorio behind laughing his head off and bragging to the sky.

"…When do you think he'll notice we're gone?" Fern asked.

"Hm…." Kurapika mumbled in thought. "About now."

And, true to his word, a moment later, the sound of Leorio's voice screaming, "Hey! Hey, you guys! Get back here, don't leave me behind!" echoed up the mountain.

"He's taking too long," Kurapika remarked.

Fern eyed Kurapika's semi-irritated face before an idea occurred to her and she turned back to staring at Leorio's small figure in the distance, a plan forming in her head.

_Number-one way to make Leorio move quicker:_

_Insult him. _

Fern smirked widely and lifted her hands to cup around her mouth. "Hurry up, you lazy old pops!" she yelled down the mountain. "Why're you so slow? Getting bone pain already? You're gonna be a fat old arse in a few years!"

She nudged Gon, and the boy blinked at her, before slowly returning her smirk.

"You won't be able to get a girlfriend if you look like an old man, Leorio!" Gon yelled at the top of his lungs. "And I don't think Menchi likes old men!"

"YEAH!" Fern called, backing up Gon. She laughed. "Don't you want to get laid?"

"FOREVER ALONE!"

"MAN WITH FIFTY CATS AND DIRTY MAGAZINES!"

Fern grinned. "IF YOU DON'T MIND, SINCE CLEARLY YOU'RE TOO OLD AND WRINKLY FOR MENCHI, I'LL TAKE HER!" She giggled. "I'VE HEARD SHE TASTES GOOD!"

She could practically hear Leorio screech in anger and begin tearing up the hill after them.

"Fern!" Kurapika exclaimed, gaping at her.

She just giggled and turned around, a smirk on her lips. "What?" She snickered. "It's just a little innocent teasing…"

Kurapika slammed his palm into his forehead. "Why do I have a feeling I'll have to start chasing boys away from you in less than a year?"

"'Cause Killua will probably be your first victim," Gon jumped in, grinning widely.

"He's going to grow up to be a playboy," Fern remarked, casually sighing and throwing an arm over Gon's shoulder. "Gon, please don't become a man-whore like him."

"So much for childhood innocence," Kurapika muttered, rubbing his forehead.

Innocence….that word made her glance curiously at Gon.

_Perhaps Killua and I are rubbing off on him a little bit too much…_ Fern mused, raising an eyebrow at Gon. _Er…or maybe he's a lot more evil than we give him credit for._

"POPS?!" Leorio's shrieked. "OLD?!

"He's here," Kurapika remarked.

"Finally!" Fern exclaimed.

She just shook her head as Leorio appeared behind them in the distance, legs moving so fast dust appeared behind him. "What? You little brat, I'm going to get you for that!" he yelled.

Fern grinned madly as the man picked up his pace to a mad sprint, racing up the mountain a mile a minute. In the blink of an eye, Leorio was skidding to a halt in front of her. "You!" he panted, jabbing his index finger at her. "You need to start respecting your elders!"

"Ah," Kurapika commented, looking mildly surprised. "It worked."

Fern giggled. "It did."

"Insulting him does make him move faster."

Leorio blinked. "Wait—what?" He gaped. "That was all a plan to trick me? W-WAIT! HEY!"

Fern just shook her head and laughing, stumbling along with Gon, occasionally trying to trip him, to which he would shove her and she would bump him with her hip.

. . .

They traveled for four hours, walking at a fast pace and taking no stops for rests, until finally they were about halfway through the forest.

And then they were, once again, interrupted.

"Leave," came the harsh voice command from in front of them.

Fern, Leorio, Kurapika, and Gon all stood on the dirt path, frozen in their tracks.

Standing right in their path was a girl, probably around the age of fifteen or sixteen based on her appearance. Her curly, bright red hair was tied in dreadlocks that hung from her head like noodles. Big, black eyes stared out at the group from the girl's tanned face. She donned a rather fancy (and probably expensive as well) black tuxedo.. But, most interesting of all was the long staff held in the girl's hand.

Weird weapon.

"You are on private property. You're not allowed to be here," the girl commanded. "The Intendants have not granted you authorization. I will tolerate you as far as here, but if you take another step, I will kill you."

Fern groaned. "Great, just great." Then, letting out a sigh of exasperation, she turned and began to walk off the path into the woods.

"Where are you going?" Leorio demanded. "Don't tell me you're leaving—

"—Yeah of course I am. I'm leaving go on a vacation tanning on the beaches of Napaj," she interrupted, her voice dripping with sarcasm. She shot Leorio an annoyed look. "I'm just going to see if there's any other way in than this."

"…Oh."

She rolled her eyes. "'Oh'?" she repeated skeptically. "That's all? Seriously, what the hell did you _think _I was doing? Going to take a dump in the bushes? Heading down to get a donut for lunch?"

"Uh…" Leorio trailed off, uncertain.

"I'm kidding." Fern laughed and turned back around. "Well, anyways, I'm leaving. Good luck with getting past this guard!" And she disappeared into the woods.

. . .

Fern smiled and paused in her stride as she felt a familiar presence approaching her.

"…That's the only entrance," a voice said from behind her. A moment later there was quiet rustling and the boy (who looked li a girl) emerged from behind a tree trunk, wearing his usual blood red kimono and traditional sandals like always.

Fern laughed calmly and turned to face Kalluto. "Yeah, I kind of thought so," she said.

Kalluto stared at Fern, his blank black eyes boring into hers. "Then why leave?"

"Well, I kind of felt you coming and I figured talking to you would be more productive than talking to that dreadlocks girl," she said, shrugging. "Gon's the one who's good at changing people's minds anyways, not me. I'm just the peanut gallery."

Kalluto was silent.

"…So?" Fern asked, eyeing the boy in front of her curiously. "What brings _you_ here?"

"Mother wanted me to see what the ones Killua calls 'friends' were up to," he explained monotonously. "She wants you to leave."

_Whoa, _Fern thought to herself in awe._ I think that's the most I've heard him speak before. _

She rolled her eyes. "_Everyone _wants us to leave." She laughed dryly. "We're not exactly the most welcomed people on this mountain, are we?"

"No," Kalluto replied bluntly.

Fern sighed. "Yeah, I kinda thought so." Perking up a bit, she then asked eagerly, "So, wanna tell me the fastest, easiest way to get to Killua?"

Kalluto said nothing, his face just tightening slightly.

_I'm taking that as a no, _Fern thought to herself dryly.

"Okay, then, how about telling me—"

"—Mother is here," Kalluto suddenly said. And then he frowned and turned his back to Fern, as if preparing to leave.

Fern blinked. "What?" she asked.

But he was already gone.

"Well then," Fern sighed, already used to his sudden disappearances. "I guess I'll take a stroll then."

And so she did, walking around the premises of the Zaoldyeck house in a circle in an attempt to find some way around the tall, barbed-wire fence. It was actually kind of cool, and pretty. The woods were quiet and peaceful, birds chirping and the ornage light of the setting sun filling her with warmth.

But she was little annoyed that she'd walked around the whole premise and found no alternative entrance. She actually was looking. Although Kalluto had told her there were no other entrances, she had half-hoped there were, and he was just lying because…well, he was a Zaoldyeck and that's what Zaoldyeck's did.

Plus, she knew Kalluto didn't like that Killua might be "wasting his time" with weaklings like her, Gon, Kurapika, and Leorio, so she really wouldn't have been surprised if Kalluto lied to keep them away.

Unfortunately, he was—apparently- telling the truth.

In the end, she started to get sleepy, yawning, and started to walk back towards Gon and the others.

_I should get back…._

. . .

Slighty irritated by her failure, Fern sulked her way back to the spot where Canary and the others were._I just hope these guys had better luck than me, _Fern thought as she approached. _Oh, there they are._

She sighed and emerged from the bushes. "Hey, Gon-

Fern froze.

Kalluto was there, clothed in his blood red kimono in all its glory, and beside him was a very, _very _odd woman.

She was very extravagant compared to Kalluto's more traditional appearance. Her dress was bright yellow with puffy shoulders, an over-abundance of lace, and a round, ball-room hoop skirt that went all the way down to the ground. Her entire face was covered in bandages. Even stranger than that was the strange contraption she wore around her eyes. They were like goggles, only there was this strange, flickering dot of red light in the center of them.

_If that's Killua's and Kalluto's mom, _Fern thought to herself, _ I feel really sorry for them. _

_What. A. CREEPER._

But they weren't the only ones on the scene. Dragging her eyes away from Kalluto and the woman, she glanced around the rest of the scene. Kurapika and Leorio were standing looking extremely wary of the woman's presence. Canary, to Fern's surprise, was lying on the ground unconscious.

Gon, on the other hand…looked terrible.

His face was completely swollen in a mixture of bruises, blisters, and cuts. His right eye was, in fact, so inflamed that he could barely open it. The bruises had begun to turn a grotesque purple, coloring his normally tan skin a sick, green shade. Numerous cuts sliced across his skin, little waterfalls of blood trickling out of the bigger, deeper ones. Dirt and blood matted his hair and face so thickly they were almost like another skin.

His face was so damaged- so swollen from wounds- that she could barely see his face beneath it all.

The world flashed red.

"Gon." She was at his side in an instant. "What happened? You're all cut up—who did this to you?" Her eyes roamed over his bruised face. His face turned scarlet, bloody. Then she blinked and it was back to normal.

Gon's eyes widened. "Fern. Y-yeah. B-but you're…" He swallowed. "You're eyes, they're…"

Another flash of red.

"Fern?"

She took a deep breath and glanced at him.

_Blood._

She jerked back.

"Fern? Are you okay? What's wrong?"

She couldn't look at him. He was smiling weakly but his face was gushing with red, no—it was red, it was all tainted a disgustingly crimson shade of thick red. There was no tan of his skin or black of his hair, it was all—all blood. Red. "You're…b-bleeding." Her voice shook. "E…everywhere."

Gon shook his head, confused. "No…I'm not. Just a little…"

Her body was trembled. She averted her eyes quickly. Anywhere, anywhere but him, she could—

No.

_No…._

Everything was vivid red. It wasn't just Gon, it…it was all over everything. The trees were drowning in the blood. Gon's face was all red, all, all bloody. She took a step back, as if to run. Escape from the sea of red, but it was all around it, it wouldn't stop. Everything just seemed to turn redder and redder the more she blinked, the faster her heart beat. She glanced at her hands.

_Red._

Suddenly she was crouched on the ground, bent over. Her eyes were burning and suddenly the red wasn't blood, it was fire and the world was on fire, her eyes were burning burning burning—

"Stop," she struggled out. Her voice cracked. "It hurts… Stop. Make it stop…!"

She bit her lip, shutting her eyes tightly. She pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes. Fear attacked her, froze her blood, made her heart pump furiously in her tight chest. The fire was closing on her, it was squeezing the life out of her, she couldn't breathe.

"Guys," Gon was saying in the background. "Guys! Something's wrong wi-"

The world was titling. She was clawing at her eyes. _Stop stop stop stop STOP_-

. . .

"Fern?" Kurapika asked, taking a step towards the girl. She was on the ground, hyperventilating. One moment she was fine, the second she had seemed to crumble, breaking down like putty.

"Kurapika!" Gon cried, voice wobbling. He was rubbing Fern's shaking back, looking as though he might cry. "I don't know what's wrong with her. She was fine and then she wasn't and then her eyes were red and then—

"What?" Kurapika stared.

"Her eyes…were…" Gon seemed to realize what that meant. "…Red. Like yours."

"That…That's not possible," Kurapika said, stunned. He knelt on the ground beside the blonde and placed a hand on her head. "Fern," he coaxed. "Fern, it's okay. Gon's alright. We're alright." He leaned down and glanced at her face. "You can open your eyes." Gently, he began pulling her hands away from her face.

"S-stop," Fern stuttered. And then she opened her eyes.

Kurapika froze.

At his reaction, the girl seemed to snap back into it. She reeled back, shutting her eyes and turning her head away. She didn't say anything. He blinked and the world faded back into normal colors, and he realized his own eyes had turned red when he'd seen…that…no….

"Fern…" he heard himself say. "You're eyes…What was that?"

"I dunno," she rushed out, panicking. She shook her head. "I…I…" She clamped her mouth shut.

His mouth went dry. _No…_he thought to himself. _She couldn't be. I'm the last one. The rest of the Kuruta's were slaughtered four years ago. _

But then he remembered.

Once in the second exam, when she was yelling at Menchi, her eyes turned red. Another time in the third exam, when he was fighting his match and Fern had fainted. And finally a last time in the fifth exam, when she was fighting Pokkle.

Slowly, his hand dropped from her. He stood up and took a few steps back, eyes wide and unseeing. _No…it's not possible._ But his own eyes had even turned red in response. That only happened when other Kuruta's were around…But he was the last. He was the only one left. They were all slaughtered. It was impossible. He had checked, he had made sure…No one else was alive.

She couldn't be.

. . .

Kalluto watched Fern as she rubbed at her eyes. He kept his attention on the group of Fern's friends, but his eyes strayed towards the blonde girl.

He frowned.

"I have no idea what they are frolicking about doing. That girl seems rather insane. I don't know why Killua would even think to associate with parasites like that." His mother, Kikyo, waved her fan, glancing at Kalluto. "What are you looking at, dear?"

"Nothing, Mother," he said monotonously.

"Hm….should I get rid of them?" Kikyo asked, frowning. "They're like little ants, crawling one after another, always keep coming no matter what! And corrupting my little Killua too…"

Kalluto paused. He looked at Fern. An odd girl she was—well, actually, she was the only girl he knew that was still alive to tell the tale. And she was also the girl his brother, Killua, fancied.

He knew Killua was fond of the girl—the Fern girl and the Gon boy in particular, because Killua actually reacted when their names were mentioned. Killua liked them. Killua had friends. Friends who would come all the way out here to "save" him.

Kalluto's chest tightened. He frowned.

Kalluto had no one. No one except his family. And Alluka was gone, Illumi did not like Kalluto very much, and Milluki hated Kalluto even more for stealing his mother's attention. Killua was the only one who would put up with Kalluto's silent presence. And now, these people were here to take him away.

Kalluto frowned deeper. He looked at Fern again.

Fern was weird. Strange. Odd. She liked to insult him a lot, but he understood from Killua that that kind of insulting was called "teasing", and it was what friends did to friends. But were they friends?

No. Zaoldyecks didn't have friends.

She was…she was…

A girl. Just a girl. That his brother "liked".

Did Killua want to reproduce with the female?

Kalluto looked at her again. He moved forward.

"Where are you going, Kalluto honey?" Kikyo called from behind him.

He ignored her for once. He glided across the ground to stand in front of the blonde girl. Killua's other "friends" were glaring at him, regarding him as a threat. He ignored them too.

"…Fern," he said.

She kept her head down but flashed her eyes up to meet his.

Red. Her eyes were red.

Kalluto frowned.

"Hi, Kall," she got out weakly. "Miss me already?"

"Kalluto!" Kikyo squealed from behind him. "Stop talking to the lowly commoners!"

Kalluto frowned deeper. "Leave," he said to the girl.

Her eyes flashed rapidly between blue and red, blue and red. With each flash, she winced, hand flying up to her eyes.

Interest flared inside Kalluto. What was going on? It seemed as though Fern was panicking somewhat, and that was making her eyes change color? And apparently, it was hurting her. Her eyes were bothering her. For some reason he didn't like that.

Kallutos' hands shot out. He grabbed her hands in his white ones and held them, tightly. "Stop."

She stared up at him with her shocked red eyes. "Wha…"

He stared.

She stared back.

Slowly, her breathing began to calm. The scarlet red gradually faded back to a warm baby blue of her eyes. She lowered her eyes to the ground, her heart rate falling back into its normal rhythm.

Kalluto released her.

"Let's go, Mother," he said.

Kikyo frowned, but followed. "Wait, Kalluto honey! Wait for your mother!"

And just like that, they were gone.

. . .

Somehow, after the…incident, Killua's mother and Kalluto had left, Canary had woken up, and they had all somehow been granted authorization by the Intendants to be allowed to move on. Gon kept shooting worried glances at her and Kurapika, and Leorio was too quiet. She told them she had something in her eye. It was a lie, and she knew they knew, but she couldn't bring herself to tell the truth. Was there even a truth? She said she didn't know why her eyes were red, and it was true. She didn't.

Kurapika wasn't talking to her…or anyone, for that matter. He simply walked, as if on auto-pilot. It made her insides clench, her mind scream, _he saw he saw he saw_, and it scared her. Did he know?

Canary led them into the butler's quarters, where they were welcomed inside. And now, they were sitting on a couch, in the butler's quarters, with some stuck-up dude named Goto in front of them blabbing about tea. She tuned the idiot out.

Fern let out a small sigh and sunk deeper into the couch. She really needed to learn how to control the…episodes better. Everytime her eyes…turned red, she just...freaked. It was freaking stupid and ridiculous and completely irrational and Fern hated herself for it. It was so embarrassing, so, so….weak. Thinking about it made red rush to her cheeks in shame. And everyone had seen her stupid breakdown, she felt like she was going to die.

_They must think I'm such a freak,_ she thought to herself. _Even Gon'll think I'm crazy…First I'm an orphan, then I'm homeless, and then I have random freak out moments where my eyes turn freaking bright bloody red._ Her eyes started to sting, and she looked down at her hands. She wasn't sure if her eyes were about to flash red again or if she was going to cry, or both.

_What's wrong with you Fern? You're so stupid. _

Back in Meteor City, Akulla could always calm her down. Sometimes, other people would…hit her. Because they could. And she'd get angry and her eyes would flash red and then… _"Freak." "Devil's child!" "What is that thing?!" "Get away from me!"_

She blinked and noticed her hands were trembling. Taking a deep, shuddering breath, she sat on her hands and clenched her teeth together, chanting shut up shut up shut up over and over again in her head. But the voices wouldn't leave her, the words screeching shrilly, exploding inside her pounding head. Panicking for a moment, her eyes flickered towards Kurapika. He was watching her.

Her heart skipped a beat. She dropped her eyes instantly, staring at the floor. Her shoulders began to shake. _No…No…He can't no. _Fear made her fiery chest turn frigid. _Kurapika…He'll hate me for not telling him. I'll be…the liar all over again. G-gon will think I'm a..freak with red eyes. And Leorio'll take their side a-and Killua won't talk to me again like…like that time on the blimp…They'll all hate me. ._

"_Thief."_

"_Trash."_

"_Go die in the gutter where you belong, street rat!"_

"_Go away."_

"_**Freak…"**_

Fern sighed one last time before pushing those thoughts to the back of her mind and straightening up, looking towards Goto to hear what the man had to say. She could think about her problems regarding the Kuruta tribe later—right now, she had to worry about the Zaoldyecks.

"Please forgive us for the incident a short while ago," Goto was saying. "Madame contacted us and asked us to welcome you as official guests. Please make yourself at home at the employee residence."

Fern soured, voice bitter in her head. _Okay, so a second ago we were intruders, having to sneak and fight our way onto their property, and now suddenly were guests? What are they, bipolar? Are they going to lure us in and then kill us? _

"We are really pleased by your hospitality, but...we didn't come here to be pampered," Leorio said. His face hardened and his voice lowered slightly. "We came here to see Killua."

"No worries." Goto smiled. "Master Killua is heading this way."

Fern blinked, startled. "Really?"

"_REALLY?"_ Gon exclaimed from beside her, leaning forward excitedly. Normally, she would have winced at the sheer volume of his voice, but right now, all she could think about was Goto's words, what they meant for her and the rest of her friends.

Goto nodded. "Yes. Please wait for a little while."

Fern's face broke out into a wide smile and she turned to her friends beside her, nearly bouncing up and down on the couch in excitement. "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, _yes_!" she squealed in delight.

Okay, so maybe she really _was _bouncing up and down on the couch.

Leorio turned and the corners of his lips pulled up in a suggestive grin. "Someone's awfully excited to see her friend…" He smirked. "Or should I say…_boy_friend?"

Fern instantly stopped bouncing on the couch. "I hope there's a space between that boy and friend, or you may find yourself suddenly unable to have children." She smiled evilly.

"Whatever you say…" Leorio snickered. "Ah…young love," he sighed dramatically.

"What young love?" she muttered under her breath. "All I see is an old pops with a disturbing imagination."

Leorio sat up instantly. "What?!" he screeched.

Gon laughed nervously, putting his hands up in the air as if in an attempt to offer peace. "Guys, don't fight," he urged. "We're in Killua's house. We have to behave or they won't let us visit again."

"I don't think they'll let us visit again anyway," Kurapika muttered under his breath.

"Well, anyway," Fern began, breaking the silence. She turned to the boy beside her and grinned. "Gon!" she exclaimed, leaning over and tackling the black-haired boy into a hug. She squealed. "We finally get to see Killua!"

"I know!" Gon replied, equally enthusiastic. He grinned. "I can't wait!"

"I apologize if I'm interrupting your celebration, but, if I may suggest so…" Goto began, pushing up his glasses with his knuckle. "…Would you like to play a game to pass the time?"

Gon, Leorio, and Kurapika all shared a look before nodding. "Sure," they all agreed.

Fern shook her head. "No, thank you," she said politely, smiling. "May I take a peek around the house instead? The premise is very interesting."

Goto paused for a moment before nodding. "Very well, then," he answered. "Gedlaf with show you around the house to make sure you don't get lost." He motioned with his head towards a burly man in a black suit and tie. He looked like he belonged in the mafia.

The man bowed respectively. "Please call me Gedlaf, Lady Fern. It is an honor to be of your service."

Fern, a bit weirded-out by his formality, giggled fakely and stood up. "Ah, no," she chirped. "It's okay, you don't have to call me Lady Fern. Just Fern is okay."

"Suck up," Leorio grumbled under his breath.

Gedlaf nodded. "As you wish, Lady Fern. Now-"

_He totally just ignored what I said._

"—shall we head this way first?" he asked, motioning towards a hallway plated with gold and lined with walls covered in numerous expensive and fancy-looking paintings.

. . .

Once outside, Fern stopped for a moment by the wall. Her eyes were flashing red and she breathed heavily, biting her lip so hard it bled.

_Face it, Fern. _

_You're eyes turn red. You're homeless. You're annoying. You lie all the time._

**You're a freak. **

_Even your parents thought you so. That's why they abandoned you. No one else's parents just dumped them like they dumped you. Ever thought maybe the problem wasn't them, but you? What makes you think your friends won't leave you too? _

"No…" she mumbled. "They wouldn't…they like me…"

_Before, yeah, but now? They don't like you, stupid. Gon and Killua only kept being your friends after you said you were homeless because they felt bad for you. They're just good people, unlike you. You don't deserve it. What's wrong with you? Why're you always the weird one, taking advantage of nice people. You're just a burden to them, always hiding things, lying, betraying their trust. _

"I don't… it's not my fault….!"

_Once they find out you might be a Kuruta…_

_And you never told them…_

"Lady Fern?" Gedlaf's voice broke through her thoughts. "Is something the matter?"

She jolted, gasping for a moment. Then she pushed the voice into the back of her head and stood up, smiling. "No, I apologize. I was merely…" She glanced around, eyes landing on a random portrait. "…admiring Sir Zeno Zaoldyecks lovely silver locks."

_I…I…It's too early. _Fern thought to herself as she hurried after him. _I don't want them to know what. Not until we're so close that they'll have to accept it. I…I…I can't lose them. Not…now.._

_._

_._

_._

_End of Chapter_

**Soooo**

**Who likes Kalluto? What do you think of Fern's inner turmoil/insecurities/ obviously troubled past? How would you react in her situation? **

REVIEW! And draw fanart, because you love me. OR at least you love Killua. XD


	24. A Reunion and a Parting

**A/N: **Hey guys! I'm not dead, I swear I'm not a Zombie or whatever, and I'm not diseased either (maybe). I just haven't been very inspired lately and been a little caught up in my life (ahh the busy life of a not-busy teenager). Anyway, THANK YOU GUYS so much for the reviews. If you guys hadn't kept reviewing I honestly probably would forget about this story and it would never get finished. I'm serious. I'm also sorry for not replying to you guys' reviews, I'll try to be better about it. It's just I have this problem where I read the review and then I'm like, oh let me read all my reviews (so I can boost my self-esteem yaaay) and I'll reply to them afterwards, but then I reply to a few while I'm reading, and then I can't remember which ones I replied to and which I didn't, which is really awkward.

I am an awkward.

Because awkward is a noun now.

Point is, just keep reviewing me because I am greedy, I am lazy, and I like to eat awkward reviews. By the way we're almost at **400**! OH MY GOD SOMEONE CALL THE POLICE people actually read my writing. PLEASE make it our goal to make 400 this chapter round! I'll update faster, probably. Most likely.

Disclaimer: I do not own HXH.

**Chapter 23: A Reunion and a Parting**

Fern gazed around the room they had just entered. It was a ballroom, with shiny golden floors and endless dome as the sky. The cold smoothness of the floor shocked the bare soles of her feet with each step. Behind her, she could hear Gedlaf's heavy footsteps echoing across the walls and floors and high-domed sky, shattering the eerie silence. The static buzzing in her ears continued.

The room was completely deserted- except for a series of photographs mounted along the walls.

She paused to stare up at a photograph on the wall. This one was different. While most of the photographs hanging on display were of Killua's mother, father, or some other previous head of the family, this one was actually a group picture.

In the picture, there were five—no, _six _people. There was Killua's mother, kneeling on the ground with a boy Fern assumed was a younger Killua wrapped in her arms. To her right was a grimacing fat boy, and to her left was a tiny Kalluto clinging to Killua's mother's dress, and some older guy/girl thing that looked emotionless, probably Illumi.

The last person was a small boy in the corner of the picture. His back was turned to the camera and his messy black hair was all that showed. Upon even closer inspection, she noticed his arm was up in some sort of backwards wave, as if he was saying "goodbye" to the camera.

"Excuse me, Gedlaf?" Fern pointed to the picture curiously. "What's this?"

He seemed a little surprised at the sight of the picture. "Ah," he said, nodding. "That one. That is a picture of the all five of the Zaoldyeck sons and their mother."

Fern pointed to the small boy in the back. "Who's that?"

Gedlaf leaned forward to stare closer at the picture. "Oh, him?" he questioned, squinting his eyes and pointing at the boy.

Fern nodded.

The butler leaned back and closed his eyes with a sigh. "Ah, that is Master Alluka, the second to youngest son of the Zaoldyeck family."

"…I see," Fern said. She turned back to gaze at the picture, frowning. "Why is he the only one with his back turned to the camera?" She laughed. "What is he, a camera shy assassin?"

Gedlaf lowered his head to massage his temples. A long silence stretched through the ballroom, where Gedlaf seemed to lose himself in thought, and the tension was a second gravity gluing Fern to her spot.

Finally, he spoke. "It's been four years…"

"Since what?" Fern prodded, feeling an odd folding of her gut inside of her. Her eyes could not seem to leave the form of the boy in the picture, his black hair, his back—his form felt so strangely…familiar. As though he was a ghost in her mind, the image haunting her…the wisps of a memory so close she could grab them but so elusive they slipped away.

He sighed. "Since Master Alluka disappeared."

Fern jolted slightly, shaking her head to rid herself of the blurry swamp of her mind. With one last, troubled glance to the boy in the picture, she tore her eyes away from it, afraid almost to be sucked back into it. Clearing her throat, she glued her eyes to Gedlaf, but the boys image was burned into her brain, throbbing and pulsating like a separate heartbeat. "Disappeared?" she repeated, almost absent-mindedly. She shook her head again and struggled to refocus. "What do you mean, 'disappeared'?"

"I do not know the details," Gedlaf began, "as I am only a lowly servant. All I know is what we were informed. We were told that Master Alluka disappeared." He exhaled slowly, and his chest seemed to deflate and his back to bend shamefully. "Four years ago, on April 22, the young master left the Zaoldyeck house without a trace of his whereabouts. No one—not even the Zaoldyeck's themselves—knows where he is. He may be alive, he may be dead—no one is sure. To this day, he still remains the greatest mystery of the Zaoldyecks'."

"Alluka, huh?" Fern mumbled to herself. _Alluka…Alluka…Alluka… _The name seemed to pluck the strings of her being, winding her up tightly like a rusty, agitated puppet. _Why does that name sound so familiar? _

Gedlaf glanced at his watch and cleared his throat. "I see… We have spent much too long here. Master Killua will be arriving very soon." He looked back up at Fern. "Shall we head back now, my lady?"

. . .

The first time Killua heard that Gon, Kurapika, Leorio, and Fern were there to see him, he was annoyed. Why were they there? Didn't they understand that he'd left for a reason? Stupid…idiots….stubborn….

Didn't they realize he was a Zoaldyeck?

But now, as he stepped into the elevator that would take him down to the room his friends were in, Killua found the aggravated part of himself pushed aside for a thick bundle of nerves that had him practically vibrating in place. The giddiness was like helium rising within him. He felt like a freaking balloon, stuffed full of a still expanding relief. And in those moments, Killua was glad—glad that he had met them, glad they had come to visit him, and even more glad that they were his friends.

_Ding! _

He took a deep breath. The elevator doors slid open to reveal a wide, open room, with a couple couches positioned around a coffee table. Sitting on those couches were-

"Gon!" Killua exclaimed, racing out of the elevator. He couldn't help the wide grin on his face. "Plus, Kurapika! And Reoleo!"

"It's Leorio!" Leorio insisted persistently, though no one except Kurapika heard him.

Gon's face lit up like a lightbulb. "Killua!" Jumping up from his seat, he bounded up to meet Killua half way.

"Long time no see!" Killua greeted. His eyes were wide, excited. He laughed airily in disbelief. "You really came here!"

Gon grinned back, and for a few long moments the two were just grinning at each other toothily like idiots trying to face off for a toothbrush commercial.

Killua blinked, ruining the moment. "Whoa!" His finger jammed into Gon's beat-up face. "What happened?" He snickered. "Your face looks _awful_!"

Gon tried to frown, but it was ruined by his grin. Instead he lifted his own finger to point back at Killua's face, damaged by weeks of Milluki's whippings. "Yours isn't so great either!"

The two stared at each other for a second, before they burst out laughing, so hard that they fell to the floor.

When the two finally managed to quiet their laughter, Killua sat up and glanced around the room, seemingly searching for something.

"What are you looking for?" Gon asked curiously.

Killua frowned and looked back at Gon. "Where's Blondie? I thought she came here with you guys too."

He couldn't explain the feeling of deflation, like the balloon of giddiness that has risen to the top of the clouds had a hole within it, and the air was slowly slipping out, and the balloon was falling. Falling. His stomach was dropping. Disappointment.

Gon seemed to sense his disappointment, and for a split second, shot Killua a knowing glance. Then the innocent face was back and he shrugged. "Oh yeah, Fern. She went to look around the house while we were waiting for you to come, so she should be back here soon…" he trailed off, frowning.

One part of him relaxed, but his gut twisted into a deeper knot, apprehensive at the idea of seeing_ her_. Stupid girl. Why did she always have to make him feel so damn…uncomfortable? He tried not to make a face, lest Leorio see it and tease him. Or worse, Gon. God, his best friend could be so annoying…especially when it came to Fern… At the mention of her name, his gut clenched again, like a tight vice, and he felt almost like he couldn't breathe.

_I think I'm allergic to her. _

"Ah!" Gon suddenly exclaimed. He turned and grinned widely at Killua. "She's here!"

He almost choked. "Where?"

Gon pointed towards the open doorway, just in time for Killua to see a familiar blonde girl rounding the corner and entering the room. Killua blinked. Although she clearly had not noticed him yet, and her face was not even towards him, he could already tell something about her was different. Not her personality, no, not anything to do with her mind—just her appearance.

He tilted his head to the side and regarded her with narrowed eyes. What was different?

When he'd first met her in the Hunter Exams, Fern was as thin as a twig, and looked like she would snap as easy as one too. It wasn't even a healthy kind of a skinny. It was an anorexic, starving-person-about-to-collapse-any-moment-from- lack-of-food kind of skinny.

She wasn't like that anymore. She was still a twig. A short one. There was no denying that. But at least she didn't look like she was going to drop dead anymore. No, her previously all-bone bag body had gained an extra coating of lean muscle. Stretching out from beneath her gray dress, her legs seemed long and smooth, nicely toned. His heart skipped a beat. Heat rose to his cheeks, but he couldn't tear his eyes away from her. She wasn't super pale anymore, the sun had dusted her white skin a light bronze. On the contrary, her pale blonde hair seemed even more pale, and it was silky and long.

"You look…" he started. Fern was smiling at him, and suddenly his mind blanked out. "…Pretty…"

Fern's smile vanished. "I look…what did you just say?"

Killua froze. "Pretty ugly!" he blurted. His cheeks flushed and his stomach flip-flopped. _You idiot! Why'd you say that? Now she's gonna think you think she's pretty…and you don't! She's not…she's not… Girls are stupid._ He forced a smirk onto his face and stared at her condescendingly. "You look pretty ugly," he repeated arrogantly. "What did you think I was going to say?"

A sharp pain beneath his kneecap made him yelp. "OW!" He gaped at Fern. "You kicked me!" Quickly snapping out of his daze, he focused a glare on Fern and frowned. "What was that for?!" he demanded. But she had her back facing him, chin raised huffily.

He turned and shared an odd look with Gon. He jabbed his thumb at Fern and raised an eyebrow, silently asking, _'What's up with _her_?'_

"Killua!" Gon grabbed his arm, eyes wide and terrified. "You can't say that!"

He frowned at Gon, mystified. "Why not?"

"Girls get really upset over that!" Gon whispered hurriedly. "Aunt Mito always says—oh no." He cringed and glanced at Fern. "Killua, she looks upset! She's gonna cry…"

"No she's not," Killua scoffed, dismissing it. "She wouldn't cry over that. Fern's like…a guy. She's doesn't cry over that."

Sniffles sounded from the tiny girl.

Panic rose in his jumpy stomach. _Crap_. Gon was shooting him looks like 'See? See? You made her cry' and he was mouthing, 'say sorry!' over and over again. Kurapika just sighed and shook his head, and Leorio was jumping up and down on the couch making all sorts of weird mime gestures. 'Hug her…kiss her…ask for her hand in marriage …wait WHAT?!'

Killua's eyes widened and he reeled back. "What?" he hissed.

"Apologize!" Gon nearly shouted in his ear.

Killua winced. He turned to stare at the blonde girl and tensed immediately. _What do I say?_ "Uh…Fern?" His voice sounded painfully awkward, and he winced at his own words. _Ugh… Stupid, high-maintenance girls…_ "I didn't mean it."

"You're the one who said it," she blubbered in a way that was so un-Fern like, Killua blanched in terror. "So, I come all the way up here to see you instead of going home and all you say is 'you look pretty ugly'?" She wailed in despair. "Thanks, you are so nice."

…_Crap…she_ is_ mad._ "Uh…yeah…but it was like, a joke!"

Fern huffed stubbornly. "_Not_ funny."

"H-hey…I don't look so great either? See, look?" He forced an awkward grin and pointed at the cut on his cheek. "My face is all cut up."

Her head turned and her eyes landed on the cuts. Fern's face visibly fell. "You're hurt," she stated quietly, lowering her chin. He swallowed as her eyes traced up and down his face. Then her eyes met his and she just stared at him, like she could see straight through him, and he could barely stop himself from fidgeting nervously.

Wait… There weren't any tears on her face, nor were her eyes puffy. Killua inwardly groaned when he realized he'd been played by her again, when something flashed in her eyes and she turned away again, huffing stubbornly. "That's not funny either," she said suddenly. She pressed her lips together and looked away. "And you look the same as always."

"What do you mean the same as always?"

"As UGLY as always. Just like me," she snapped, sending him a dirty look.

"Okay, okay, I know already! You're mad! Come on, just get over it! I already said I didn't mean it!"

She raised an eyebrow. "Apologize," she demanded. Her eyes watered suddenly, and she looked terribly like a kicked puppy. "Or I'll cry." Her bottom lip pushed out, and began trembling slightly. "For real, I'll cry."

"S…Uh….Y-you….You're not…You're not u-ugly…." He fidgeted uncomfortably. His palms began to sweat. His heart was beating a mile a minute in his chest and his face was heating up faster than a toaster and he couldn't figure out why. _Ugh…_

She stared at him expectantly.

"….S-sor…" He didn't think his face could get any redder. "…Sorry."

Her face broke into a smile. "Of course you are!" Fern exclaimed overly cheerily. She patted Killua on the back so hard he choked. "Because you know I'm better looking than all of you put together, riiiiiight?"

_She wasn't going to cry…_ Killua realized with horror. _She was just playing me…I KNEW IT! _"Right," Killua coughed out. "…in your dreams…"

She laughed forcedly and slapped him on the back. "You mean in _your_ dreams, don't you?"

His eyebrow twitched, but he grimaced and looked away. "…Sure…"

She leaned down and wrapped an arm around his shoulder, bringing him close. The evil aura she was exuded made chills shudder down his spine. "I'll forgive you for now, but you know, if you say that again," Fern whispered in his ear, smiling menacingly, "the young assassin just might find himself assassinated…" She giggled.

"Okay, okay, I get it, GEEZ!" Killua backed away, holding his hands up. "Che," he grumbled, shoving his hands back in his pockets. His cheeks were a little red. "I hate girls."

Fern stared at him, then burst into laughter, real laughter this time, clutching her ribs in pain. "Oh come on," she teased when her laughter died down. She smirked at him deviously. "You know you love me." She turned to Gon with her goddamn puppy eyes. "Gon, you love me too, right? I'm your favorite person in the world?"

Gon laughed nervously. "Uh….yeah…?"

"What the—Gon, you traitor!" Killua yelled, eyes wide. "How could you pick her over me!"

In the background, Kurapika watched the chaos going on in front of him and sighed. "Shouldn't we be leaving…?" he asked.

. . .

Kurapika's eyes trailed on the blonde girl arguing with Killua. They were already going at it even though they'd only been around each other for a few minutes. Sometimes he couldn't tell if they were genuinely annoyed, or flirting with the other. But his thoughts wouldn't leave him alone, kept bringing him back to that moment in the Zaoldyeck mountains when Fern's eyes had flashed red.

_Could she be? No…she couldn't…_

But her eyes were the same shade of light blue his were. Her skin was pale and her hair light blonde, just like his. They looked almost…related.

_**Stop getting your hopes up, Kurapika. Drop it. You were…imagining it.**_

_Gon saw it too._

_**Get over it. You accepted a long time ago that you're the only one left, didn't you? So stop lying to yourself. **_

He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. _That's right…I can't get distracted. I'm the only one left and I just have to get revenge on the Spiders…_

_Besides… _He smiled uneasily. _She would tell me if she was…_

…_Right?_

. . .

It was time to leave.

She wanted to stay, she really did, but she knew she couldn't. Her chest panged every time she thought of it, because it felt like betrayal. She was stretched thin between wanting to see Akulla and Bea more than anything and being afraid of leaving Killua and the others and never seeing them again.

So, as Fern stood in the airport lobby, the orange light of the setting sun shining through the glass windows and lighting the room a warm, yellow tint, Fern couldn't stop sighing, a mist of melancholy floating over her head.

"What are we going to do now?" Killua asked, stuffing his hands in his pocket.

"Well," Leorio said, "I'm gonna go back home now. You know, to study to become a doctor." He grinned and flipped out his Hunter License. "Now that I've got this I don't have to pay the expensive college payments."

Kurapika shook his head at Leorio's money obsession and sighed. "I'm going to find work as a Hunter elsewhere," he said. He turned to Gon inquisitively. "What do you have to do?"

Kurapika seemed to have forgotten, or at least dismissed the incident with her…red eyes. Relief flooded through her that he was back to normal. _I'm off the hook…for now._ Fern turned to stare at Gon as well, curious as to what the boy would do. After all, whatever he decided to do was probably what Killua would be doing too (that kid followed Gon everywhere!). And, knowing Gon, it was probably something stupid, rash, and semi-unrealistic.

"Well," Gon said thoughtfully, "Of course I'm going to keep trying to find my dad, but… most important for now..." His face morphed into extreme determination as he pulled Hisoka's number pin from his pocket. "I'm going to give this tag back to Hisoka and put my fist in his face with it!" he yelled. "I've decided not to use my Hunter card until _after _I've done this!"

A rather awkward silence stretched across the entire airport lobby.

Fern shared an amused look with Killua. "Well, that's great, but…"

"Do you even know where Hisoka is?" Killua finished.

_Silence…_

"I'm guessing that's a no," Fern said, staring at Gon with half-lidded eyes.

Gon laughed nervously and rubbed the back of his head. "Um…I haven't planned it that far yet?"

Kurapika let out a small sigh. "I know where Hisoka is, Gon. After the information meeting, I asked him to tell me what he knew of the Spiders."

Fern flinched slightly at the mention of the Spiders. _I wish he would let that go already…_

"And?" Leorio prompted. "What'd he say?"

"'_I'll wait for you on September first in York Shin City_,'" Kurapika repeated. "That's over six months from now. September first is the day the biggest auction in the world takes place in York Shin. It lasts from the first to the tenth. Anyone who means anything in the money world will be there. " He clenched his fists at his side. "The Spiders will no doubt be there too."

"Then Hisoka will be there too?" Gon asked eagerly.

Kurapika relaxed his fists and turned to smile at Gon. "Providing he was telling the truth, then yes. If I find him before that date, I'll call you."

Killua shrugged before turning to look at Fern curiously. "And you? Where're you going now, Blondie?"

_I hate farewells, _Fern thought to herself, biting back a wince. "Back home," she said awkwardly.

"You too?!" Gon exclaimed, astonished. His face fell and he frowned, visibly upset. "I guess now it's just gonna be me and Killua for a while. It's gonna be so lonely without you guys…" he trailed off. He smiled weakly. "But I guess it can't be helped."

"Hey, hey, now," Leorio interjected, frowning. "Don't be like that, guys! We're going to meet again!"

"We_ are_?" Fern asked, surprised.

Kurapika shook his head at her and smiled fondly. "Don't worry, Fern. We'll meet again next time, at York Shin City on September first. Okay?" His hand patted her on the head like she was a puppy, and she pouted at him, which made him chuckle.

Six months, just six months.

"Okay." She grabbed Kurapika's hand on her head, curling her small hands around his. Startled, his eyes darted down to hers, and as her blue eyes met his, a small smile crept onto both their faces.

_It's okay. _

She'd see them again.

. . .

"Hey, Killua?"

"What, Gon?"

"Are you going to miss them?"

"Who? Kurapika and Leorio?"

"Yeah."

"….I guess."

"What about Fern?"

"…Maybe."

"You shouldn't be so mean to her."

"But she's so annoying! She's always hitting me and insulting me. She's mean to me too, you know!"

_Silence…_

"Hey, Killua?"

"What?"

"Do you like Fern? As in, you know, _like _like?"

_Buh-bump. _

"UGH, No! Her? That's gross! I'd rather date a red pepper than her!"

"Hm…but don't you think she's kind of cute?"

"What? For a rock, maybe! She's the most bitchy and annoying and selfish girl I've ever met! Wait—you think she's cute? Gon—that's disgusting, you _can't _like her!"

"Why?"

"Because…"

"Because _you _like her?"

"No!"…. "Stop laughing. Gon!"

"…Hey, Killua?"

"What?"

"Yourface is red."

. . .

End of Chapter 23.

Soooo who is the guy in the photo? Why the hell am I so addicted to writing fluff? Likes, dislikes? Does anyone actually read my author's notes? Lol. Where do you want to see this story go in the future?

REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! **Let's make 400 reviews this chapter!11111!111** WOOT WOOT WOOF dog MEOW.


	25. The Two Trees that were One

_**A/N:**_I KNOW **we hit the 400 mark**!1111!1

I'm soooo excited, thank you so much for reviewing every chapter, or only one or whatever! Getting a lot of reviews not only means I get more feedback, but it means more people will read it, and it's every author's dream to share their creation with as many people as possible. BOOM EXPLOSIONS QUE DRAMATIC MUSIC Okay anyway….

I spent way too much revising this chapter. Sorry if there are typos in it, because I rewrote it so many times I just didn't want to look at it anymore. Anyway, sorry for disappearing off the face of the planet. I'm like…a toaster. Like you put the toast in and then you wait and wait and wait and wait and then when you least expect it, the toast pops out and it scares you and you're like aaaaaaaaah…or does that only happen to me? Anyway I'm like the toast. TOAST WOMAN.

That should be my new pen name.

_**Disclaimer:**__ I don't own HXH. Obviously. Duh. Duh. Double Duh. Triple Duh. But I do own Fern . Duh Duh duh Duhnnnnnn. _

**Chapter 24: The Two Trees that were One**

_I wonder when she's coming back, _he thought to himself absent-mindedly, staring at the tent ceiling above him. He grimaced and rolled onto his side. _Stop thinking about her_.

After all, he didn't know if she was going to come back at all. She'd gone to the Zaoldyeck house—he scowled at their name—and most people who went there died. _Stupid, stupid Fern._

"Akulla?" a voice called from outside the tent. "Where are you, you little brat?"

Sitting up, he sighed, rubbing the back of his mussed up hair. "What, Bea?" he called back. He hoped she didn't have another chore for him to do, because he honestly didn't feel like doing anything right now.

"Out!" Bea snipped, her hoarse voice crackling. She slapped the side of the tent, making the thin walls ripple and slap Akulla in the face. "Out, boy! And hurry! While the sun's still shining."

Akulla groaned. "Why?" he muttered. He really didn't want to get up. It wasn't like he was tired or anything, but it was almost like he was depressed, and that depression was weighing down so heavily on him he couldn't find energy. "I'm not your dog."

"I said OUT!" Bea screeched. She hit the tent again, and the cloth slapped Akulla in the face. "Stubborn boy! My dead husband moves faster than you!"

"Could you quit slapping at the tent!" Akulla snapped as the tent hit him again, almost tripping him. "Shit, you old hag!"

"Aw, Bea, it's okay," a familiar voice interrupted.

Akulla froze. _No way. _

The voice continued. "Don't stress so much over that useless boy. I apologize, after all, his uselessness is all my fault." Cue overdramatic sigh. "I just—I can't help it. Once people meet me, they can't live without me. I'm like, a drug. He's just going through withdrawal."

Akulla bolted out of the tent. "_You!"_ he exclaimed, running so fast through the tent doors that one of the flaps nearly ripped in half.

"GAh!" Bea screeched. "The house!"

Fern brightened at the sound of her friend's voice. "Akulla!"

Akulla barely had time to register anything before Fern suddenly launched herself at him. Startled, he jumped to the side, and watched as she hit the ground and groaned in pain.

"What. A nice. Welcome back," Fern struggled out, wheezing.

Akulla couldn't hold back the grin pulling at his lips. He felt brighter than he had in days. He could have kangaroo hopped all the way to York New with all the bubbling energy within him. Instead he laughed loudly and eagerly sat down on top of Fern's back, making her groan again.

"You're getting fat, kid!" she exclaimed, to which he muttered quietly "I'm not a kid", and after a pause, where she just laid there and he just enjoyed his seat on top of her, she grumbled, "What are you doing?"

"What do you think, Fern?" He laughed and patted her back softly with his hand. He lowered his voice and said in a creepy voice…"I'm welcoming your_ back_."

There was a silence.

"That is the dumbest pun I've ever heard."

"Welcome back, Fern! " he said, unable to stop from grinning widely. "Fern, fern, Fernily Fennily Funnily Fernily FERN!" He started jumping up and down on her back, bursting with excitement. "Thank god you're home, I mean, god, now stupid old Bea can howl at someone else. I thought I was gonna go deaf!" he started laughing loudly, stilling patting her firmly on the back. "Good old Fern, our dysfunctional family life is not the same without you!"

"Yep, without me, it's just an old woman and her lazy, dejected puppy." Fern started wiggling underneath him, but he stayed where he was, until she kicked him in the side with one of feet. "Did you miss me?" Fern asked eagerly, grinning too.

He froze.

"You missed me!" Fern exclaimed. "I know you missed me. Are you blushing right now?"

_Yes. _"No!—"

Fern giggled. "Bea, is he blushing?"

"I can't see nothing with these old eyes of mine, sweetcheeks, but I'd reckon you've turned the brat's oversized head into an overripe tomato."

"See! Bea says so! You little liar, you sooo missed me." Fern shoved him off of her, and started rolling on the ground, giggling. "You're so cute!"

"I'm not!" he yelled loudly, even though he knew it was in vain. "And I didn't! I didn't you sucker!" He crawled towards her on his knees and started tickling her. "GIVE UP!" he shouted. "GIVE UP WHILE YOU STILL CAN!"

"You're on drugs!" Fern shrieked through hysterical laughter. "BEA you fed him DRUGS! Why is he so hyper? Oh my god, I'm dying!" She tried to kick him, but he was merciless in his tickling. "I'm dying! Help! Help!"

Akulla paused and sneezed all of a sudden.

Fern grinned. "Hey look, he's still blushing."

He glared.

The old, blind woman turned and let out a quiet chuckle. "Now, Fern, honey boo, don't tease the poor brat too much or he'll explode," she scolded lightly.

"Spontaneous combustion!" Fern shouted excitedly, scrambling to her feet. "OOOHmigod!" She stuck out her hand for Akulla to grab, and yanked the grumbling boy to his feet. "Did you know, did you know? It is possible! I've seen it at the Hunter Exam! People go BOOM! Oh-Oh, and there are creepy clowns, and fugly pig-human hybrids, and girls that are really guys but look like girls—like you know, a tranny, but not—and then there are rich kids with gray hair and kitty claws—"

He scowled. "Hey."

She deflated, looking disappointed. "What… You cut me off mid-rant!"

"You never called me after you asked about the _Zaoldyecks_," he said, resisting the urge to spit his family's name. He grimaced at the word and flicked his tongue around his mouth. He didn't like mentioning his family' name.

It left a bad taste in his mouth.

Fern blinked, as if the thought had just occurred to her. "Only because you seemed so angry…"

"I was angry!" he yelled. "I am angry! You are so stupid! So stupid!"

"I am not!" Fern protested. She sputtered, "You're stupid!"

Akulla turned stubbornly and began to walk back into the tent, knowing she would follow him. He ignored her insult and glowered at the ground.

"But—But—HEY! You never even congratulated me on passing the Hunter Exam!" Fern started, running after him. She waved a hand in his face. "Hello, hello, Mr. Polite, Mr. Smugass? Did you forget?"

"I knew you'd pass." Akulla smirked. He flicked his hair out of his face. "So we had a congratulations party for me, for being right about you. As always."

"Brat's not lying!" Bea yelled. "We really did!"

Fern made a face. "I'm not sure if I should be glad you have confidence in my skill, or sad that you guys think two people make a party…"

"Four," Akulla corrected with a grin. "The hobo from the junkyard corner, and Sir Barnabas the Third also attended."

Fern raised her eyebrows. "Okay, I give you three for the hobo, but Sir Barnabas the Third is not a fourth."

"Discrimination!" Akulla shouted, shoving Fern.

She shoved him back, but laughed at his annoyed expression. "Your computer does not count as a person."

He stopped walking and gaped at her. "It's a laptop," Akulla protested. He huffed. "And Sir Barnabas the Third is a much better person than you'll ever be! I've been programming him to be the most sophisticated AI software in existence today. In a few years, I might be able to create program to transfer the data on Sir Barnabas onto a humanoid robot, and then you will regret what you said about Sir Barnabas The Third, because Sir Barnabas The Fourth will—"

"Have your babies, yes, I know, I know."

"A function of reproduction?" Akulla paused, suddenly deep in thought. "I hadn't considered that. That's actually an interesting prospect."

Fern sent him a disgusted look.

"But that's incest," Akulla complained. His face fell in disappointment. "Aw shit…I'm Sir Barnabas the First's father, so creating a clone of myself through the software of Sir Barnabas the Fourth could possible be a form of incest? But it could always be asexual…"

"Oh, my poor baby…" Fern patted him on the head, mockingly.

"I'm tired," Akulla said suddenly. He turned to Fern and held out his arms, sending her a pleading puppy face. "Carry me to the tent."

Fern raised her eyebrows. "We're five meters away."

"Actually, we're ten meters, five decimeters, two centimeters, point five millimeters and point zero zero six seven-"

"GAAAAH!" Fern picked up Akulla and threw him over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes. "You drive me crazy!"

"Fern…" he whined, pounding his fists into her back.

She sighed. "What now?"

"Your dress is too short."

"Are you looking at my butt?"

"Yeah…and you're wearing yellow underpants."

Fern groaned. She reached up and pulled the waist of his pants out. "And you're wearing Nielk Nivlac boxers." She let it snap back, and he yelped.

"Hey! I don't snap the straps on your bras!"

"What? Yes you do!"

When she reached the entrance of the tent, Fern pushed the cloth flaps to the side and walked in. Still held over her shoulder, Akulla sighed. "Down," he said, flailing his legs and arms, almost kicking Fern in the face. "Down!"

"I'm not your mother!" she screamed, throwing him off her shoulder and onto the bed.

"Thank god for that," Akulla muttered. Then he paused, his face darkening slightly. "Fern." He rolled over on his bed (or rather, stuffed potato sack) and laid back. He patted the spot beside him, and she leapt up, making the bed shake a little.

"Yeah?" she asked, shifting a little to get comfortable next to him.

He lifted his eyes to meet hers. "What happened at the Zaoldyeck house?" He paused. Maybe that sounded a little too suspicious. "Er…and at the Hunter Exam."

"Um…"

"What?" he pressed. He furrowed his brow. Did she not want to tell him? Why? Was she hiding something? Did she not trust him enough? Was she keeping secrets from him? No way, Fern never kept secrets him. It bugged him.

Fern fixed him with a stern look. "Geez, impatient much?" He grumbled at her, and she threw her feet on top of his stomach. "Settle down, pup. I'm just trying to remember everything. Give me a sec."

She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths.

"Now what are you doing?" Akulla complained. "I'm bored."

"Shut up! I'm trying to get in the zone, you know, the storytelling zone." She grinned and sat up suddenly. "Okay, okay, I've got it. This is going to be like, the best story ever, okay?"

Akulla stared at her doubtfully. "Better than the one about the girl and the other girl and the other other girl and her best friend's enemies best friend's cousin?"

Fern looked at him, wounded. "But I liked that story…"

"Whatever," Akulla groaned. "Just go on. Tell your bestest-ever story or whatever. Now."

"Okay." She smiled widely. "Once upon a time, there a beautiful girl with awesome blonde hair and she achieved world domination within the first two years of her life, then went on to universal—"

Akulla kicked her in the gut.

"Fine! Fine! I'll be serious this time. Really." She grinned and closed her eyes, remembering. "It started in the first exam, when we were running…"

And so, Fern told the tale of everything that had happened over the last few months. As she spoke, her memories unraveled like a piece of silk. And she let them flow, let them flow out of her head through her voice. The words just gushed out like water, and she couldn't stop them whether she wanted to or not.

But when she was done, when the last water droplet had drained out of the waterfall, she felt better. Relieved. Lighter. More airy.

She fell asleep in the midst of telling her story.

. . .

"And then….. we, like, walked down…the uhm…what's it called? Uh…spoon, no, no spork…oh wait no, there was a path…..yeah…and we…forked down the spoon in the path.. .and…we…like…uhm…..ZzzzzZZzz." The girl's eyes slid shut and she fell over onto her side, asleep.

Akulla stared at her with half-lidded eyes, not at all surprised. After all, she had been talking for over four hours now, and she hadn't stopped once to take a rest. For the last half hour she'd been nodding off here and there, her eye lids visibly drooping and her speech audibly slowing.

And now, she'd finally fallen asleep.

"Dumbass," he mumbled under his breath. He watched as she mumbled something in her sleep and rolled onto her side. "Friends?" He thought about all the things she'd told him about those weird people…Gon, was it? And Kura-something, and Reolio. Killua killua, fucking killua, it's always him, always-

He jolted up abruptly, anger flowing through his limbs. "We don't have friends, Fern. In Meteor City, we only need our family…anyone else is lying and rich and snobby and whiny and spoiled and…" His voice lowered and he ruffled his hair, face scrunching. "You don't need them." He scoffed, but the pain in his chest only tightened. "You've already got me." His voice was but a strangled whisper.

_Killua freaking Killua can go off himself in a puddle for all I fucking care. _

Fern grumbled something in her sleep, and rolled onto her side, slamming her arm down on Akulla's face.

"Violent even in your sleep…" Removing her arm, he realized with a start that the limb was no longer all bone. He stared at her. "What'd you to yourself? You look different," he mumbled, well aware he was talking to himself.

And she did. She looked less angular, and more…_soft_, almost, if that was the right word for it. Her ribs no longer poked out of her stomach and her elbows and knees didn't look quite as knobby as they had before. He poked her in the calf with his toe, and felt oddly proud when his toe was met with lean muscle.

_Must be from the training she mentioned, _he thought, recalling her story. _Ha! _He snorted wryly. _Only you, Fern, only you would go to the Zoaldyeck house and come back looking healthier than you did before. _

Akulla sighed. He still could not believe she'd gone to the Zaoldyeck House to bring back her friend, and came back alive. Heck, he couldn't even believe that her "friend" was his brother. When she'd said the name, Killua, he was about to freak. She even met Kalluto! And she saw his mother…OH god…she'd met his creepy, crazy mom and she didn't even know it!

Luckily, she was too caught up in her story to notice him practically going into anaphylactic shock.

Letting one more sigh, he let his head fall back down his hands, using his arms as a make-shift pillow. He hated—no, absolutely_ despised_ the thought of Fern being friends with someone in his family (all of them were terrible, in his opinion). But he knew where the line was drawn, and not even Akulla had the right to tell Fern who she could and couldn't hang out with. Well, he could try. But it wouldn't work.

He could yell and scream and throw a tantrum, but he knew she'd never listen.

Yep, that was Fern alright. Still the same as she was when he first met her…

Akulla laid back on the bed and stared at the ceiling, letting the memories wash over him.

He was barely seven years old when he arrived in Meteor City, having left his home and family and lifestyle and everything he had ever known behind just a week before.

He was hungry, he was starving, he was lost, and he was all, all alone. And even though he was a Zaoldyeck, even though he probably could have killed people and stole and survived by himself perfectly fine—he didn't, because he'd left his house for a reason.

He left because he didn't want that anymore.

It hurt.

So much that it didn't hurt anymore, because it couldn't hurt anymore, because it already hurt so much that the hurt didn't register.

But still, it hurt. Not in his arms not in his legs, not in his body-but in his mind. It hurt.

So, he went to Meteor City. And found Fern.

Akulla shook his head.

No. That wasn't right. Fern found him.

Akulla sighed and closed his eyes, the images flashing across his mind.

He remembered that day perfectly. He'd been sitting on one of the hills of junk, staring out towards the distance blankly. He hadn't eaten in a week—not because he couldn't, but because he didn't want to. He hadn't drank anything either, for the same reason. His hands were cut and scraped, and his feet were severely burned. Blood was leaking from a slice in his forehead, seeping out and covering his right eye in a cascade of red liquid, but he didn't move to wipe it away. He didn't get up to eat. He didn't drink. He didn't bandage his cuts.

It was sick. But he wanted it.

He wanted to feel the pain. He wanted to feel the aching of his empty stomach. He wanted to feel the stinging of the cuts on his hands. He wanted to feel the aching, the pain, the stinging, the throbbing—he wanted to feel it all and more, and yet, no matter how hard he tried, no matter how much he bled…he still couldn't feel anything.

He was numb.

But somehow, inside of him, there was so much pain. So much emptiness. He felt…he felt…

He felt like the people he killed. When their skin was white and the blood that used to be inside them, pumping and beating and flowing, was spilled out across the floor. When their eyes were white and their faces frozen in one position and their body unfeeling, unmoving… the life torn out of them by his own hands. He felt like the people he had killed so viciously, and he thought, that that was good. Maybe. Maybe he deserved it.

His dirty hands had already taken so many lives. Would it be all that different or wonderful or terrible if he took his own?

It wasn't guilt. No, he felt no guilt. People were beasts, no different than pigs and squirrels and cows, and he felt nothing when he slaughtered them. He felt only bored of his life working in a slaughterhouse, and had thus left it. And now he was still bored, but slightly curious about the sensation of murdering oneself.

He was staring at his hands, trying to imagine the sensation of holding his own bloody heart in his hands as it went Ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, while the rest of his body, now heartless, clung to the last threads of life. To die while holding the source of his life in his own hand. He was staring and thinking and imagining-

And then Fern came.

Akulla felt a faint smile curling the corners of his lips up as he recalled the first day he had ever met Fern.

She had popped out of nowhere that day. He was just sitting by a trashcan, and then all of a sudden the trashcan made a noise, started shaking, and then a girl exploded out of broken lid. She tumbled out and rolled until she was on her stomach in front of him, coughing and groaning and holding her gut.

Then she blinked up at him and grinned. _"Hi."_

He didn't answer. He just stared off at the space behind her, unresponsive.

"_Wow." _Her eyes burned into him. "_That is some poker face. I bet you'd be great at gambling."_

He was not interested in some Girl-Born-From-Trashcan.

"_I just thought I'd let you know that I've been sitting in this trash can all day, and I know you've been sitting there all day. And I kept waiting for you to like, move or something, so I could escape without you noticing, buuuut then you didn't. So really, it's your fault that I broke a beautiful trashcan and wasted an entire day I could've been junk hunting." _She was now lying on her back, staring up at him with her wide blue eyes.

So innocent.

This time he did respond. He turned his head down towards her and his eyebrow twitched just slightly. He still said nothing.

"_Well, you're a weird one, I'll give you that." _She raised an eyebrow and clicked her tongue. _"How old are you? You look a little younger than me. What's your name? You look like a Barnabas. Or something weird like that."_

He glared at her.

"_Oh sorry, no offense or anything, you just kind of look like a lost puppy or something. But not like, a normal puppy, but like, a weird one. Um…like, an alien puppy." _

He glared at her further.

"_Barnabas is not a weird name,"_ was all he said.

She whistled. _"Wow…you are even weirder than I thought you were." _Then, she sat up, and after rustling around a little in her dress, she pulling something out and waved her hand in his face. _"Okay then Mr. Barnabas, I've got a little something for you!"_ There was something in her hand. _"Want this?"_ she asked.

Akulla didn't answer. He didn't even look. He didn't know what she was offering, but he didn't want it anyways.

He felt something being stuffed in his mouth.

He choked.

The girl snickered. "_That's what you get, you ungrateful little snot."_

He could have spit it out, but he didn't. Akulla chewed for a second, before realizing what it was. Bread. She'd given him bread. It was tough and cold, and slightly stale, but it was still bread. Maybe she'd poisoned it. Well, it didn't really matter. Zaoldyecks were immune to all poisons.

But the moment it hit his stomach, he felt something. His stomach growled, making a funny gurgling noise. It was as though it had sprung to life.

And suddenly he felt it.

_Hunger. _

"_Want more?"_ she asked. She pointed with her thumb towards a small, ragged tent in the distance. _"I stole a whole bunch of rolls from these obnoxious rich people yesterday,"_ she said, bragging as if she was proud of it. _"I'll give you more if you agree to be my partner-in-crime."_

"_Real criminals work alone," _he stated, robotically.

"_Are you kidding me? That is so boring. Criminals work in pairs. It's like, the law of illegal people! Like Bommie and Klyde! We could even be like Cherlock and Mattson! Even though they weren't criminals…"_

He wanted to shake his head, no. But then his stomach gurgled again.

"_I knew you'd say yes!"_

He blinked._ "I didn't say anythi—"_

She barked out a laugh. _"Your stomach did!"_

Apparently, his stomach worked faster than his brain.

The girl stood and looked down at him, and he had to wonder what she was doing. But then she held out her hand to him and smiled brightly. _"Come on,"_ she said. _"I'll help you up."_

He stared at her. And stared. And stared. And stared some more.

Her face fell. _"It's called a hand,"_ she said. _"And you take your hand and you grab my hand, and then I pull you up to those things called your feet. And by the way, this is a nice gesture, and you should be thankful I am offering you my hand."_

He stared at her blankly. _"I'm not going to marry you."_

"_Uh…"_ She looked scandalized. _"Sorry, but the only marriage between you and me would be between my hand and your face. And that, by the way, is called a slap."_

He glared at her.

"_And all that was sarcasm. Just so you know."_ She grinned at his angry face. _"Geez, you have no sense of humor!"_ He had no idea why she sounded so delighted about that.

"_Anyway, forget about that! Let's go!" _Impatient, the girl finally scowled and reached down, grabbing his hand in hers and yanking him off the ground roughly. "_God, are you slow_!" she complained, lacing her fingers though his and dragging him down the hill behind her.

And, as he stumbled behind her, confused, startled, and completely disoriented, there was this weird feeling bubbling up in his chest. It was a strange feeling—completely new and unfamiliar to him. Warmness seemed to be spreading through his body like a fluid liquid-kind of like what he imagined chicken soup would feel like, only he'd never had chicken soup, so he didn't really know. It was soft and comforting, and it kind of made him feel all fuzzy inside.

The girl was like poison.

The only poison he wasn't immune to.

"_Oh my god, you're bleeding!" _

Right, his feet had burns and blisters…and that cut on his forehead…

"_Carry me." _

He hadn't meant it, really, but the second he said that, she picked him up, threw him over her shoulder like he was sack of potatoes, and ran off like she was stealing him.

It was a very strange beginning, indeed.

.

.

.

With Fern back in Meteor City, everything seemed to go back to normal. Fern went about her days as she usually did. She hunted, she cooked, she read, she socialized, and she stole (great hobby to have indeed). Everything was normal, and not one thing was out of place. In fact, it was so normal it was almost as though she never left to begin with.

She liked it that way.

Fern could have done a one-eighty degree flip on their lives if she wanted to, now that she had the Hunter License in her possession, but the thing was, now that she actually had it, she really…didn't want to use it. Maybe she was afraid, or maybe she was used to her life as it was, but she knew she didn't want it to change. She didn't want the luxury life, she didn't want the excess money—she didn't want any of it.

Meteor City was her home.

And she wasn't about to leave it.

So, her life resumed as one of extreme poverty. But it was okay, because she had Akulla and Bea, and she was happy, and everything was fine. There was only one thing missing.

…Okay, make that four.

Gon, Kurapika, Killua, and Leorio.

It was like that weird paranoia-that's-not-paranoia, where she kept thinking she'd turn a corner and Kurapika would be reading some dictionary, Leorio would be reading a women's magazine and Gon and Killua would getting into trouble somehow. But they were never there, of course, so she was left alone with Bea, Akulla, and her memories.

_Stop being a wussy, _she'd tell herself. She ignored the longing that pulled at the back of her mind and focused on the present, on what was right in front of her.

She couldn't deny how much she'd missed Akulla. He was a part of her, almost like her other half. And without him, she could never feel completely at home, not even when she was with Gon and the rest. So to fill the hole of Akulla-time she'd felt during her time at the Hunter Exams, she was now following Akulla everywhere he went. If he was inside, so was she. If he was sleeping, so was she. If he was eating, so was she. If he was on the computer/laptop/Sir Barnabas the Third, she was shoving him to the side so she could sit next to him.

And he seemed to sense her inner turmoil, because wherever she went, he went. If she wanted to go outside, he went to. If she went hunting, so did he. Stealing/Pick-pocketing/borrowing-without-returnin g was done together, in their old-fashioned, overdramatic, but nonetheless amusing Partners-in-Crime Missions. Or maybe he had missed her just like how she had missed him. And they were both trying to make up for the time they lost together by cramming in as much as they could.

He was really her bestest bestest friend and brother. No matter how long they were apart or how much he missed or she missed, there was never a gap between them. They were like two, ugly, sun-light deprived trees that were shoved into the same space. So the two struggling trees grew towards each other, until they collided. And then they grew around each other and spread their roots inside the other, and stretched upward and upward until the trees that were once two were now one, and the sunlight was shining down on the top leaves of the tall, tall tree, warming them over from the tip to the roots.

When she was with Akulla, that's how she felt. Like the sun was shining on her for the first time, and all over, she felt warm.

. . .

It was on Fern's twenty-eighth day back, when Bea approached Akulla, holding a cane that she'd probably picked off a dump somewhere and a flowery hat on her head. Akulla groaned loudly and fell on the ground in his despair.

This was one of the rare moments where he and Fern weren't attached at the hip. Which was awful. Because whenever Bea came up holding her back and heaving a cane and dressed like a ridiculous granny, that meant she was going to tell a terrible and boring story. He wished Fern hadn't left him. This was a terrible fate to suffer alone, but…it wasn't like he could run to her now.

She was down by the lake taking a bath.

…_not blushing…not blushing…not thinking inappropriate thoughts…_

"Back in my yesteryears…" Bea began, clearing her throat. "I had a cat."

Akulla snorted. "Hallelujah. Crazy cat ladies are real."

She sighed heavily and sat down, her old bones creaking. "I got it from some rundown shelter place next door. Well, anyway, it had fleas. And it was the ugliest thing I'd ever…not seen." She pushed up her fake glasses and adjusted her attachable mustache. "But anyhow, I tried to keep the damn thing inside so it wouldn't spread some worldwide plague to everyone, but the dumb thing just didn't stay put. Kept looking at those windows, and I knew that thing was trouble."

Akulla stared at her. He had a feeling he already knew where this story was going. And it made a tight knot in his stomach grow.

Bea scratched her head. "Then one day I let it out. Outside. It ran off like hell was chasing its back tail. Damn. It came back eventually though, but the dang cat wouldn't sit still after that. Kept running out the backdoor, the windows…But it always came back."

Akulla closed his eyes and scowled, trying to not listen but listening none the less.

"It's dead now," Bea mused, a little too gleefully, "'course, but…"

"What?" Akulla ground out.

Bea howled. "What? What you say? The deaf one here ain't you, ya dumb brat!" She growled. "I hope ya numbskull got that metaphor in your head, 'cause I ain't no philosopher, and I sure ain't repeatin that stupid story again."

"Okay, okay, geez…" Akulla sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "She's a stray," he mumbled to himself. "Always wandering, never content sitting still, always in trouble, searching for adventure…"

"I am so philosophical," Bea praised herself. "Like…like that Plates old guy."

"I hate cats," Akulla said.

"Me too," Bea said. A moment of silence passed between them. She smiled slightly. "But that sure don't stop me from lovin them at the same time."

"Che," Akulla grunted, standing up. He shoved his hands in his pockets and turned away. "I get the point, you old hag. I won't keep her here. But unlike you, if she ever goes out and gets lost, I'm going after her." His eyes darkened. "I'm no cat owner and she isn't my cat."

When Akulla was gone, Bea stood up and brushed off her ugly dress. She pulled off her glasses and fingered her mustache. Then she sighed.

"Kid's right," she said. A wistful smile passed over her lips. "I'm the cat owner, and you two are my rebellious, stray cats." She shrugged. "Life ain't so bad."

. . .

So, Akulla, Bea, and Fern were all sitting around the small campfire, eating the tender fish she had caught with her own hands and toasted carefully over the heat of the flames. The night was a nice, peaceful one, with the stars twinkling brightly above them and the only sounds being the quiet crackling of the fire in front of them and the munching, chewing sounds they make as their teeth sunk into the freshly cooked fish on a skewer.

The night was too damn perfect. Shame he had to ruin it.

"Fern," Akulla said, setting his picked-bare skewer down on the ground in front of him. His calm voice interrupted the silence of the night, and Fern and Bea looked at him, Bea knowingly and Fern curiously.

"Hm?" Fern mumbled through a mouth full of food. She stared at him for a second before swallowing. "What?" she asked.

"I," he began seriously, "have an idea."

"Uh…" Fern trailed off, raising an uncertain eyebrow. She shot him a doubtful look. "Should I be scared? Cause if it's the same as that idea you had last time then…"

Akulla waved her concerns off. "You said you were trained at the Zaoldyeck house?" he asked, directing his gaze to Fern.

She nodded.

"Well…" He sighed, ruffling his hair. He leaned forward and grabbed her hand, curling it into a fist. "You like power," he stated. "I like power." His eyes met hers. "We need power to survive. But.." He smirked, dropping her hand. "You're still weaker than me."

Fern gaped. "Hey!"

Akulla went on, overdramatically sighing. "I keep asking myself, how? How can this be? That my older sister is weaker than me, the younger one…Where have I gone wrong?"

"I'll show you weak…" Fern grumbled, raising her fist again.

"So, I'm kicking you out of the house," Akulla finished.

Crickets chirping...silence…

"Akulla…" Fern frowned. "We don't have a house…"

Bea slapped the back of her head. "Stupid girl! You're ruining his dramatic moment!"

"Okay, okay, just tell me already!" Fern whined impatiently. "Jesus!" she cried. "I don't need a story or a moment or whatever, just say what you gotta say."

"Great!" He laughed. "You saved me a lot of bullshitting. I'll just get right to it then."

Fern looked scared.

Akulla grinned. "I'm sending you on an errand. And…"

"Oh no," Fern groaned, holding her head in her hands, "here's the scary part."

"…you're not allowed to come back till you have some kickass superpower that's even cooler that Sir Barnabas the Second. And you're also not allowed to come back until you have enough money to fund my creation of Sir Barnabas the Fourth, Fifth, and Sixth."

"I hate you," Fern grumbled.

"So, do you know where you're going now?" Akulla asked, smiling cheerfully.

"Um…" She blinked. "The arcade?"

"Worse!" He grinned. "Celestial Tower."

. . .

You know, coincidences are a strange occurrence.

Especially when they're not coincidences.

Like, when coincidences are actually orchestrated happenings planned by Akulla on his stalker-special laptop Sir Barnabas the Third, which kindly told him where exactly his…not-brother brother…was, and the…other kid with freaky hair.

Damn, the things Akulla did for that girl…

.

.

.

End of Chapter 24.

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	26. Allergic to You

_**A/N:**_

Surprise, I am alive! I bet you never thought you would see me again! Well ha! You were wrong! I have emerged from my grave and am here to give you another lovely chapter…

I recently got back into HXH…or rather, just Killua LOL. I started reading other people's KilluaxOC fics to satisfy my craving…and then I got back into my own, lol, because I ran out of stuff to read! If you know any good ones, please recommend them to me? I like really the long ones…

I did not proofread it very much. I edited it like crazy though so if something does not make sense, that might be why. If I told you I had this chapter on my computer waiting for an entire year, would you be angry…? (…er, nevermind, please do not answer that…)

Seriously, I have severe Fear Of Disappointing Syndrome lately… All you people have been so supportive with your awesome reviews that I feel scared my writing is not good enough and will make you upset that you waited so long for something stupid? AHHHH SAVE ME FROM THIS HORRIBLE DISEASE

UGH everyone probably forgot what happened…Please tell me you guys remember who Fern is? Yeah, okay, no? Oh…well, Read on anyway!

_**Disclaimer:**__ I don't own HXH. _

_**RECAP: After retrieving Killua from the Zaoldyeck mansion, the group split up on their own paths. Fern went to Meteor City( her hometown) and reunited with Bea and Akulla ( her "family"). After about a month, Akulla sent Fern off to Celestial Tower and told her not to come back until she had tons of money and a very strong "superpower" that could beat him. **_

**Chapter 25: Allergic To You**

When Fern first reached Celestial Tower, she thought she would never reach the top. In fact, she was convinced she wouldn't even make it past the first floor. After all, all the men around her looked like they could squish her with her pinky. How could she fight against _that_?

Apparently, very easily, as she soon found out after beating her first opponent with the mere flick of her fingers.

The referee sent her straight up to the one hundredth floor. Fern was a little concerned about that floor now, though, since she assumed the referee sent her there because there would be people her level there.

Again, she was wrong.

She beat that pug-faced fool with an afro and too-big sunglasses in two seconds—no_, one_ second. Excuse her.

And from the one hundredth floor, she climbed up and up and up, advancing at a rate the surprised even the most experienced of the Celestial Tower fighters. Everything was easy—one hit KO's and that was all. She barely had to lift a finger before her opponent fell over and her victory was announced.

And god, for something so easy, this tower gave over tons of prize money. When she received her reward check on the one hundred fiftieth floor (that being the first time she'd checked for her reward at all during her stay) she found herself to be staring at so many zeros, they made her dizzy.

She totally hit the jackpot!

And, to top it off, it only took her a week to reach the two hundredth floor. By then she had accumulated so much in cash rewards she didn't know what to do with all of it. So, naturally, she just stuffed the checks in her vest pockets and let them sit there with her Hunter License, gathering up dust. She decided she'd the money for later, maybe buy a couple things for Akulla and Bea or some of the others in Meteor City.

And so, after finishing her last match with an astoundingly clean, one-hit victory, Fern found herself standing out of the elevator on the one-hundred ninety-ninth floor, waiting for the elevator to arrive so she could take it to the two hundredth. Impatience quickly set in, though, and she soon found herself glaring at the two arrows on the side panel of the wall. Why weren't they changing? Why was it taking so long?

Oh, and if you're wondering why she didn't take the stairs, well guess what? There weren't any stairs! Wooooow….

Fern sighed once more, closed her eyes, and was about to give up and take a nap right there, when suddenly a loud _bing!_ echoed through the room.

_Finally! _She snapped her eyes open and straightened up. Fern stared at the elevator anxiously, tapping her foot and fidgeting as the elevator's arrows turned red and the doors began to slide open.

Slowly, slowly, slowly.

Fern twitched.

Inch by inch.

Her brow furrowed.

Centimeter by centimeter.

She gritted her teeth together.

_Millimeter by millimeter—_

She froze.

Why? Well, because…

The doors had opened reveal the last people in the world she thought she would see here.

Gon and Killua.

She stared.

Fern's mind seemed to be stuck on the stop button. She stared, and stared, and stared, and that was all. She didn't move, she didn't speak—she didn't even gape in surprise. It seemed like the cogs in her brain that been halted to a stop, and nothing seemed to be registering at all. So, she just stared.

They stared back.

Blankly.

And then Killua's hand itched up and pressed the 'close' button on the elevator's door.

She stared.

And the doors began to shut.

Fern stared, and stared, and stared some more as the doors slowly slid out of the wall and towards each other, cutting off her view of her two friends inch by inch. Why was the door closing? Why was she not getting in? She questioned herself, but her mind was blank and it was like there was a haze hanging out her head.

The doors were almost closed.

Just a small sliver left—

And then she woke up.

"_What the-?"_

…Wow. Delayed reaction, much?

Her arms instantly thrust out and she pushed her small fingers in between the doors of the elevator (thank god for reflexes), jamming them right before they could close all the way. "Open it back up!" she exclaimed. "Freaking retards! I waited for an hour here! No way am I getting left behind! Wait- WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE? STALKERS!"

Her yelling seemed to have triggered a wake-up call for the other two as well, as although she could not see their faces anymore (the elevator doors had long since blocked them), she could still hear their voices through the doors.

"Um….Killua?" That was Gon. "I think I just saw Fern."

"What are you talking about Gon?" And _that_ was Killua. "That wasn't a fern. It was just some random girl."

_Jerk._

"Oh yeah, it's not like I took the Hunter Exam with you, ran all the way to your house, and got in trouble for coming without scheduling a freaking playdate with your family. Nope, not like that at all….Just some random girl?!" Fern exclaimed from outside. "I am _so _going to punch you for that!" Her fingers were turning red, but she kept pulling on the heavy iron doors anyway, trying to slide them back open (without breaking them). But it seemed, no matter how hard she pulled, tugged, and struggled with them, it wouldn't work.

They didn't budge.

She was seriously considering breaking it.

"No, no," Gon was saying. "I'm pretty sure I saw Fern."

Fern could not believe this. _What the hell are these elevator doors made of? _She shrieked in her mind. She leaned back and pulled with her whole body, squeezing her eyes shut in effort. Still, the doors made no move to budge. _These are freaking heavier than Killua's front door!_

"Nuh-uh, you were hallucinating," Killua's voice said nonchalantly.

"But I'm pretty sure I saw her!" Gon insisted.

"You were_ hallucinating_," he insisted back.

"Um…guys?"

Fern blinked, but didn't stop pulling on the elevator. That was a new voice that she didn't recognize. _Who's that? _she wondered. It sounded like a young boy, but then again it could have just been a girl, too, just one with a really low voice.

"What?" Killua asked.

"…Shouldn't we let that girl in? It looks like her fingers are in a lot of pain."

"_Looks_ like? Dude, they're currently getting squashed by a freaking monstrous elevator door! Of course my fingers are in pain!"

"See?" the unfamiliar voice continued.

"Nah," Killua said, brushing it off. "You're just hearing things, Zushi."

She blinked again. _Ah-ha, _she thought to herself. _So his name is Zushi. _She bit back a laugh. _Sounds like sushi. _

"But that sounds like Fern!" Gon protested.

"It's not."

"How do you know that? It sounds a lot like her! I'm sure!"

"…No, Gon, you're hallucinating."

Fern groaned, her fingers protesting in pain. "Could you stop conversing leisurely and let me _in _already?!" she hollered, throwing her head back in exasperation. By now, she was using her whole body weight to keep the doors from squashing her fingers into mini pancakes, and yet the doors were still not moving and now her feet were sliding on the ground. "If you can't tell, I'm kind of in _pain_ here!"

"_Killua_…" Gon urged.

"…It's just a gorilla."

Fern groaned again. "Gorilla's don't speak human language, genius!" she managed to retort. "So let me in, would you?!"

She was ignored.

"Can't you hear her?" Gon asked. "I'm sure that was Fern!"

"That was a fly."

"But you just said it was a gorilla!"

"…It's an octopus."

"OCTOPIE DON'T EVEN HAVE FINGERS, SMART ONE!" Fern yelled at the top of her lungs.

"See?" Gon insisted. "That was her!"

Killua whistled innocently.

"…Hey, aren't we going to open the doors…?" the 'Zushi' kid asked hesitantly.

Fern groaned. "Yeah, you'd better before I freaking break the door down and—

"_What are you doing?_" a voice boomed suddenly from behind her.

Fern jumped and let out a girly, high-pitched shriek. Startled, her hands jerked out of the elevator doors and she stumbled and fell backwards onto her behind, hitting the ground hard.

There was a man behind her.

…Well, not anymore, since she had jumped and fell, but now he was standing over her, looming like a shadow over her small body. She stared up at the man with wide eyes, slowly taking in his appearance.

He was not a very intimidating looking man (thank god). Unlike many of the other men in the Celestial Tower, he was not bulky with muscle—no, in fact, he did not look muscled at all. Of course, that did not mean to imply he was just a big ball of walking flubber. He was not fat at all, really. He just didn't look like he was on steroids.

In other words, he looked normal.

Fern blinked. Black pants hunt around her waist and fell to his ankles, where the tops of shiny black shoes met the ends of the cloth. Short strands of black hair hung from his head, like a mop, almost. His small, narrowed eyes were framed by thick, square-shaped glasses that seemed to reflect the light right off of their surface in a way that blocked his eyes from sight. But her eyes were trained on his waist. Why? Well…

One half of his shirt was untucked.

_Nerd, _was the word that popped directly into her head.

"Open the doors," the man commanded firmly. His hands were locked behind his back as he stared hard at the elevator in front of him.

A second later the doors slid open.

_Oh, so you open the doors for some nerdy-looking guy who can't tuck his own shirt in correctly, but not for me? _Fern thought to herself wryly. _Ohhh, I see how it is. I feel so freaking loved. _

A boy unfamiliar to her (Zushi, she assumed), stepped out of the elevator first. He was short, very short, and young, as well—probably a couple years younger than Fern herself. The boy donned a white martial arts outfit—the stereotypical white fighting robe and puffy pants, and his head was covered in a thin layer of brown hair that she recognized as a buzz cut. And he had nice, wide, brown eyes, too.

Fern's first thought was that he reminded her of Gon.

Her second thought was that she could feel his Nen. It was easy to tell if an inexperienced Nen user walked by because their aura fluctuated every once in a while. This was due to the fact that the Nen user still did not have complete control of their aura, and their Shouko would sometimes open a little bit without their conscious command. More experienced Nen users could blend in as a normal person once they had more control over their Nen flow. Mind you, this fluctuation was very minor and not something most paid attention to, but Fern, being Fern, always did.

She was amazing like that.

"Master Wing!" Zushi exclaimed loudly. "Killua-san and Gon-san were not letting this young girl into the elevator for some reason!" he announced bluntly. "I am so sorry, Master Wing! I tried my hardest but I could not get them to listen!" He took another step forward before straightening up, closing his eyes, and bowing deeply to the man. "Osu!"

Fern blinked, and then frowned. _What the hell is going on here? _She wondered, confused. Her eyes flickered from the 'Wing' guy back to Zushi. _Who are these wackos and what did they eat for breakfast? Those Nerd candy things? _

The Wing guy nodded firmly. "I see," he said. Then, he turned his attention to Gon and Killua, who were standing guiltily in the elevator and shot them a harsh look. "You should know not to play in the elevators."

Fern wanted to laugh. She couldn't believe it—they were getting scolded! Like children, they were being treated like _children_.

This was freaking priceless.

Gon looked upset. "I'm sorry, Wing-san! Killua didn't want me to…"

Wing turned his glare to Killua. "_Killua_…" he said warningly.

The white-haired boy shrugged and turned away, careless as always. "What?" he asked. "She could have waited."

Wing glared harder. "You could have let her in."

"But I didn't want to," he reasoned calmly. "So, I didn't."

The man sighed in resignation, before turning to Zushi. "Help the girl up," he commanded.

At this point, Fern was torn between being angry, confused, or thoroughly amused. These new people that had suddenly appeared out of nowhere and seemingly knew Gon and Killua were possibly some of the oddest people she had ever met. The man was a nerd with a superiority complex, and Zushi was a kid with a….student complex.

In other words, they were complete weirdoes.

But Fern didn't really mind. She hung out with weirdoes all the time. Heck, she was probably a weirdo herself.

Okay, scratch that. She_ was_ a weirdo herself. There was no doubt about that.

The boy, Zushi, walked over to her and extended his hand to help her up. "Here," he offered. He sent her an apologetic smile. "I am truly sorry," he said deeply.

Fern waved his hand away and stood up by herself. "Ah, no," she denied, not unkindly. "It's okay." She wasn't about to get helped up by a kid who was younger than her.

Okay, and maybe she had an age complex.

Zushi took his hand back, but didn't seem offended, much to her relief. "Again," he said. "I am truly sorry." He bowed to her deeply..

Fern stared at him strangely for a second before she let out a tiny giggle and reached out to ruffle the boy's hair. "Aw, you're so sweet," she cooed. "It's okay." Then, whipping around, her smile instantly faded into a glare. "You," she said, staring at Killua, "on the other hand, are a bigger jackass than the fattest donkey in the world. And boy does that take major skill. "

Killua shrugged and folded his arms behind his head nonchalantly. "Whatever…" he huffed, his hands stuffed in his pockets.

"Fine then! Gon and I will just cope without you then…you know… we'll get so close, you'd never have guessed that our twosome used to be a threesome."

"You—" Killua's eyes widened and he whipped around at the sight of Fern resting her head on Gon's shoulder and hugging him like teddy bear. "Hey!" He lunged at them. "Get off him!"

Fern laughed. "Why, are you jealous?" she asked, skipping away, grinning.

He paused. Gon smiled.

"What, what?" Fern mocked him. "Are you serious? Don't look so shocked! You can't have Gon all to yourself, you know," Fern explained slowly. Killua seemed to relax. Fern's eyes narrowed…then her face lit up.

"Oh…? Or maybe, were you—were you jealous for a different reason? Hm? Hm?" She elbowed him in the ribs, winking at him obnoxiously. "Oh my gosh, you totally are! So which is it? Are you falling for my charm? My beauty? My natural stunning cuteness? My stellar personality? Which? Which?" Seeing him freeze and clam up, practically steaming hot, Fern bent over and howled with laughter. "Ha…ha…haha! Your face!"

Killua pouted and shoved her away, crossing his arms like a child. "Stupid…why are you already back?" he whined at her. "Geez…and I was so excited too! You were supposed to be gone for a long time! Seriously…you should just go back!"

"Gon, Killua's being mean to me," Fern whined, tugging at Gon's sleeve.

Gon just smiled, very, very mysteriously. "That's because Killua's—"

Like a cat, Killua pounced at Gon and shove a hand over his mouth. For some reason, his ears were red. "Nothing, nothing, nothing!" He forced a grin—it was so painful looking, his cheek was twitching… "Ha…hahaha…!" he choked out a laugh. "Just wrestling…play wrestling..!"

"Uhm…" Fern looked at both boys oddly. "I…don't get it…" _Is that boy talk for something… Wait…wrestling? Play wrestling…? _A coy smile curled on her lips as she recalled a book she found lying around Meteor City (rated M of course…) She snickered quietly to herself. _Sounds kinky…_

Fern was staring into space for a few moments, trying not to drool. She was suddenly distracted thinking of all the hot celebrity pics she found in the magazines lying around...she tried not to drool thinking of the washboard abs…GODS… _Maybe I should get a boyfriend... nah…flirting with everyone is too fun…there are so many cute boys in Meteor City, after all, like, how can you just pick one? Well…maybe, I mean, they're not very cool though…not cool like—no, not Killua! Not him, haha, what was I thinking?_

_Oh…but like, how could I flirt with Killua if I'm dating someone else? _She sighed and pouted. _Ah…that's a no go then…_

After all, how could she live without seeing his embarrassed face…_yes, yes …_She could already imagine him blushing-it was amazing how freaking cute the guy could be. Really, she would never ever ever ever tell him so (it would inflate his already overinflated ego), but he really could (COULD, repeat! COULD) be really cute if only he were more romantic…more sweet…and stop thinking girls had freaking cooties! GEEZ! _If he didn't turn red all the time when I tease him, I'd totally think he was gay for Gon or something…_

Well… if only he would just never talk again, then maybe she could fully appreciate the good genes he received from his parents…er, maybe just his father, his mother was after wrapped in toilet paper—pardon, bandages…She sighed again. _Yeah, but he's like so immature anyway…_No girl would ever date him, even if he grew up to be like super cute, no way—just, no way…

"Oi…oi…" Killua waved a hand in front of her face. "Are you awake?"

She blinked and felt the oddest urge to blush. She didn't though. Obviously. "Ahaha…" it was her turn to laugh nervously. "It's nothing…nothing…" She seethed for a moment before something occurred to her and she turned back around, this time to stare at Gon.

"Wait a second," she said. Her brain seemed to work in slow mo. She frowned, pointing to the large white cast his arm was slung in. "Didn't your broken arm already heal?"

Gon looked around uneasily. "…Yeah…"

Her eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Then why are you still wearing a cast? Ummmm, 'cause I can kind of tell you're not wearing it as a fashion statement. Unless, you've like, turned into Killua's mum or something and like going around looking like a mummified corpse…"

"Uh…"

"_Gon_…" she urged threateningly. She smiled sweetly. "Did you break your arm again?"

The boy gulped. "I…uh..." he smiled guiltily. "Maybe? Yes? It was an accident?"

That was all it took for her to explode.

"AGAIN?!"

"…Yeah."

"_Argh_!" she growled, throwing her arms up in the air. "Oh my gosh! I look away for like, two seconds, and like, you fall of a building and run head-on into a car! 'Oooooh, I broke it agaaaain'. What the shit? You don't just break your arm twice in like, two months! What's next? A broken nose, a shattered tailbone, an incurable disease, a bacteria praying on the intestinal track gradually moving throughout the body and devouring the brain and creating zombies and curing world hunger by eating other people and killing all the poor poor animals, and starting WORLD WAR FIFTY AND A HALF?"

"Er… that escalated quickly…" someone (probably Zushi) whispered from the background.

"THERE IS NO ESCALATOR!" Fern was suddenly yelled. "THAT'S WHY I GOT STUCK AT THE ELEVATOR!"

"Eh…" Gon stared. "Sorry?"

Fern turned back to him. "Oh my lord!" Fern sighed overdramatically and suddenly swooned, hand over her forehead, swaying. "How the drama overwhelms my poor, pitiful, weak, delicate soul!" She stopped suddenly and pounced at Gon's midsection, wrapping her arms around him and burying her face in his stomach. "My poor wounded baby!" She turned her back and forth, burrowing his shirt. "I can't even leave you two alone for two seconds without someone jumping off a cliff or skydiving into pig shit!"

"Hey!" Killua's eyes widened. "Don't include me in that!"

"Eh, Killua abandoned me?!" Gon looked alarmed. "But Killua and Fern are even more crazy than me…"

"Oh, sorry, yeah, like I'm the one with the freaking broken arm in a cast." Fern glared at him for a long time before finally, she got back to her feet, released Gon, and let out a big, long sigh of exasperation. "Eh-Don't give me that puppy face! You should totally be apologizing to yourself, idiot…"

"I'm sorry!" Gon whined.

"Hmph!" Fern huffed. "What-_ever_."

"Really…" Gon pouted. "It's not like a meant to…I just didn't think…"

"Agh…think better next time then!" She flicked him on the forehead. "I know you have a brain in there somewhere…" She grinned. Then she shook her head and sighed, waving her hand dismissively. "Now can we puh-lease just get in the elevator already…?"

"..That, would probably be a good idea," Wing said, ever so helpful.

And so Fern the Bitch, Gon the Puppy, and Killua the Bigger-Jackass-than-Donkey were reunited and lived happily ever after…

Yeah right.

"So…" the three stared at each other. Fern tilted her head to the side. "Tell me…why are you guys here…?"

. . .

By the time the group finally reached the two-hundredth floor, Fern had been filled in on all the wonderful and colorful details of thing she had, apparently, missed out on. Some of them she could have gone fine and well without knowing (like the fact that Gon borrowed Killua's boxers for a day and that they had a patterns of chocolate bars on them), while others made her wish she had been there to see them.

Or rather, _change _them.

She couldn't help but think that maybe if she had been there with them, she could have helped them with their nen. Or maybe, she could have stopped Gon from fighting Guido (some 200th floor contestant who apparently liked to play with spinning tops and also had an obsession with beating up little kids), and he wouldn't have had a broken arm. Or, even better, maybe she could have beat up Guido beforehand so he couldn't lay a finger on Gon to begin with.

That sounded like a great plan.

…If only that was what had actually happened.

Needless to say, Fern was still pissed that Gon had been stupid enough to challenge Guido when Wing had clearly told him not to, but after lecturing him for an hour about being stupid and reckless, she ran out of fuel and just decided to forgive him. Yes, she could forgive Gon for being stupid, but she couldn't forgive someone else.

She couldn't forgive Guido for beating him up.

And so, when Fern heard about Gon and Killua learning Nen from Wing, who was apparently some sort of Nen master, she was suddenly struck with an idea. Gon and Killua were learning from him, so why couldn't she, too? She wasn't exactly the fondest of Wing herself, but she figured it would be a good opportunity to brush up on her Hatsu. She already knew the basics by heart, and was certain she didn't need any help with that (ugh, Akulla's training was enough torture as it was) but she really thought her Hatsu could be worked on a lot more.

And this was the perfect opportunity to ask.

"Wing-san?" Fern asked. They were the last ones left in the lobby—Gon, Killua, and Zushi having already left to head home just a moment ago. It was late, now, the majority of the day having been spent on the recollection of Gon's and Killua's previous experiences on the tower. Fern had registered on the 200th floor about an hour ago, and now all she had left to do was get Wing to teach her.

Wing turned and smiled kindly at the small blonde girl. "Yes, Fern?" he asked. "Do you need something?"

"Uh…I have a favor to ask of you," she said, cutting straight to the point.

Wing blinked. "What is it?"

Fern hesitated for a moment before answering. "Train me," she blurted. She looked down at the floor nervously. "I already know Nen, but I really need you to help me with my Hatsu."

"Hatsu?" Wing repeated. He seemed thoughtful for a moment before shaking his head. "I won't ask where you learned the skill, but I can tell you one thing. I cannot help you with your Hatsu. That is a technique you should develop on your own, from your own ideas and experience."

Fern frowned stubbornly and looked up. "I already developed a technique," she huffed. "I just need help perfecting it."

Wing stared down at her, silent.

"…Please," she added, as an afterthought.

"…Why?"

Fern raised her ice blue eyes to his and stared into his black ones. "Isn't that obvious?" She crossed her arms against her chest and looked away. "That I need to be as strong and prepared as I can if I want to keep Gon and Killua alive while they run around nearly getting their heads chopped off?" Fern raised an eyebrow. "I'm not like them. Gon is reckless and Killua is overconfident. I'm," she paused and her eyes narrowed, "…cautious. And I don't like to run into situations without knowing I can at least get two of my friends out alive."

Then she started to cry. "I…Please…I don't want to be alone again!"

Wing stared, and stared, and stared. The silence was oppressive, and it weighed down on her like an iron blanket, threatening to crush her at any moment.

Finally, he broke it.

"Fine," he said.

And then he turned, and walked away. "Come to my flat tomorrow, six in the afternoon. Do not forget, and do not be late."

Fern blinked at his retreating back, his words seeping into her mind. Slowly, a smile crept onto her face and she grinned widely, waving energetically at the man's back, despite knowing he couldn't see her.

"Thank you, Wing-sa—

She cut herself off.

"I mean, Wing-sensei!"

And even though she couldn't see him, but she had the sense that he was smiling.

The moment he was out of sight, she let an evil smirk spread across her face. "Ha," she scoffed. "Nen Master my ass. That retard can't even tell when I'm faking my ass off. I mean, I was the biggest bitch to him the first day we met and he still believes my little-innocent-puddy-tat act? What the freak?" She shook her head, rolling her eyes. "Well, whatever. Some pretty are just dense, I guess. Like, really dense. Like, iron ball and pig leather dense. But all's well that ends well—well, ends well for me, anyway." She grinned smugly.

The day had gone well. Aside from being nearly squished by an elevator, smashing up her fingers trying to open the door, arguing a lot with Killua, and lecturing Gon about safety, the day was actually quite fun.

She yawned.

And exhausting.

Turning, Fern walked sluggishly back down the corridor towards her room. "Well, then," she mumbled to herself sleepily. "Might as well get some sleep."

Tomorrow was going to be a long day.

. . .

Killua wasn't quite sure how he felt about Fern being back so quickly. It wasn't that he didn't want to see her again. It was just that whenever he saw her…somehow, his emotions got all in a twist, and he got confused.

And that was annoying.

For a little while, he considered avoiding her. But then he realized he couldn't—not only because Gon would get mad at him, but also because she seemed to, literally, pop up everywhere he went. It was like fate had some sort of stupid plan strung out for them where they kept running into each other no matter what they did or where they went.

But maybe that was a good thing. He didn't really want to stay away from her.

That would be boring.

Whenever that girl was around, things always got so much more interesting. She was annoying, yeah, and bossy- but she was funny, too. Her and Gon together—they made like the perfect comedian duo. They were so great it was better than watching television—or playing his video games, even.

But there was something else, too. Sometimes that scared him. It was something more than interest, something more than a mischievous boy's boredom.

Something more than mere entertainment.

To think that he might actually care for Gon and Fern for purposes more than that scared him. Sure, he thought of them as friends now, and partly acknowledged that he liked them, but….to think that he might really have feelings for them that extending down farther than entertainment?

Perhaps even to real attachment?

Real friendship?

…No way.

So, he decided just to not think about it. But of course, the moment he told himself not to think about, his brain just decided it hated him and made him think about it more.

_Don't think about Fern, _he told himself.

And his mind whispered_, Fern. _

_Don't think about Gon, _he told himself.

And his mind whispered,_ Gon. _

Great, just great. First the whole world was against him, and now even his brain was, too.

Stupid Gon. Stupid Fern. Making his head get all cloudy and twisted up.

…Well, okay, maybe not so much Gon. Just Fern.

He thought about the way his stomach fluttered when she came close. The way heat rushed to his cheeks whenever she said something nice (which wasn't all too often).

All signs of liking someone.

Or, as Gon put it—_like _liking someone.

But that couldn't be. He didn't like Fern. No way. It was just like he had told Gon—he'd rather date a red pepper than touch her. He didn't like her.

He _couldn't._ It was impossible.

And that was the truth.

…But maybe that wasn't saying so much coming from the mouth of a perpetual liar.

Still… Fern? His _crush_?

The great Killua Zaoldyeck having a _crush_? No way. He almost laughed—it was ridiculous!

_Sorry Gon, _he thought to himself. _No way in hell would I ever like a girl like _her.

He thought about it for a while. He couldn't sleep because of it, actually. He stared at the ceiling, in the dark, his forehead deeply creased, looking for answers on the ceiling that were not there. He wished she would get the hell out of his mind. He wished Gon would never mention that sorceress again. Seriously! It was like she was bewitching him…she was always in his head, making him feel super funny. When she looked him in the eye, his stomach got all sick feeling and -ugh, god, what if she really was a witch or something? With his luck….

It gave him the shivers just thinking about it…

And what if she was secretly like fifty years old, with a wart on a long hooked nose and a hunchback…."Gah!"

"Don't think about it…forget it…" he chanted to himself. "Meh…" he sighed. "I'll never get that image out of my head now!" He rolled over on his stomach and slammed the pillow over his head. "Go to bed…"he told himself frustrated. "Think of chocolate, think of chocolate…Yum…" He melted into his pillow in sheer happiness.

But, seriously…with his luck, she was actually a man, (Kalluto was, after all, a boy who looked very girl-like….Illumi did too…) – or maybe she used sorcery to turn herself into a cute, innocent looking girl…

Wait- "She's not cute at all," Killua grumbled into the pillow. She popped into his head again, this time she was smiling…at him…ah…._She's s-_no-NO! "Not cute! Not…at…all!"

After a long night of rolling around in bed, banging his head on the wall, and ruffling his hair like crazy, he finally came to a conclusion. The rise in temperature, the nervous fluttering, the twisting stomach, the quick-beating heart…

_Blondie…I'm definitely, definiteily, becoming severely, intensely, fatally…_

_Allergic to you._

Yeah. Definitely true, right? Definitely plausible…on all accounts, biologically, psychologically, denial-ogically….

….Yep.

Definitely allergic.

. . .

End of Chapter 25.

REVIEW PLEASE! Click the button to raise my self-esteem….No really. Do it.

**Questions!: Did you like it? Seriously…did you, and if you did, what did you like? If not, what did you not like (hopefully not all of it, lol…). Are people still reading this fic or did everyone abandon me…? DO YOU STILL LOVE ME PLEASE I STILL LOVE KILLUA CAN WE UNITE AND BE ONE please…**

**ALSO IMPORTANT: Would you guys be able to keep up if I updated quicker than once a week? Like…twice a week? I just want to finish this fic…I feel bad leaving in incomplete!**

By the way, Fern is totally trolling like a Mary Sue in the first two hundred floors of the tower…I know it might be annoying, but in my mind, since she can open the Zaoldyeck doors AND already knows Nen, the lower levels should be no problem for her.

_By the way_, all of your reviews are the only thing that keep me writing this…every single one of them, I read and they all remind me that there are people supporting this fic and people who still want to read it. I am very much like Togashi and go on random Hiatuses all the time, so…I know that I am bad at updating but please keep reviewing, because they really are important to me, and knowing that people took the time to read it and write a review convinces me that I owe you people a chapter for everything you have done THANKS YOU PEOPLE! KEEP REVIEWING !


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